The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki - User contributions [en]

Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)

2026-06-08T09:29:31Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:MAgarrium.jpg|thumb|His Magarrishness]]
{{Character|name=Donald J. Trump|aliases=The Great MAGA King
Drumpf|affiliation=The Employers

Thu'um Rebellion

Aeternian Empire

Nova Aeternia

United States of America|occupation=God-Emperor of Earth

Consul of Nova Aeternia

President of the United States|birthDate=Unknown|birthPlace=The Outervoid|deathDate=1 A.B.|deathPlace=Glue Factory in Albuquerque, NM|species=Human (God-Mantle)|gender=Male|height=7'2|eyes=Blue|marital=Eternally Soul-Tethered to Vice Emperor Mike Pence|weight=18,000,000,000,000,000 Kilograms}}

[[File:Gory.png|thumb|Glory|309x309px]]
[[File:Trump Cupshot.jpg|thumb|289x289px|The Great MAGA King had his photo taken before colour was invented.]]

=== Description ===
Donald Trump, aka The Great MAGA King, was a vitally important

[[File:MAGA Crown of Gold.png|thumb|The Great MAGA King wearing his casual crown of gold]]
(Finish this ASAP)[[File:Trump.jpg|thumb|259x259px|Trump, using his eyes]]
[[Category:Gods]]

File:Trump Cupshot.jpg

2026-06-08T09:28:54Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Donald J. Trump Cupshot

File:Terrence Abernathy.png

2026-05-29T00:56:30Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Official Artist Portrait of Terrence Abernathy

File:Sheldon Redwood.png

2026-05-29T00:54:34Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Portrait of artist Sheldon Redwood

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T03:05:25Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: Blanked the page

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T03:04:29Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly>
{| class="wikitable" style="float:right; clear:right; margin:0 0 1em 1em; width:300px; font-size:90%;"
! colspan="2" style="text-align:center; background:#cee0f2; font-size:125%; padding:6px;" | {{#if:{{{title1|}}}|{{{title1}}}|{{PAGENAME}}}}
{{#if:{{{image1|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" | [[File:{{{image1}}}|280px]]
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" | {{{caption-image1|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{image2|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" | [[File:{{{image2}}}|280px]]
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" | {{{caption-image2|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_anthem|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | National Anthem
| {{{national_anthem|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{capital|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Capital
| {{{capital|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{largest_city|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Largest City
| {{{largest_city|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_language|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | National Language
| {{{national_language|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{religion|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Religion
| {{{religion|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{demonym|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Demonym(s)
| {{{demonym|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{government|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Government
| {{{government|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{total_area|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Total Area
| {{{total_area|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{population|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Population
| {{{population|}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{currency|}}}|
|-
| style="background:#ddeeff; font-weight:bold;" | Currency
| {{{currency|}}}
|}}
|}
</includeonly>
<noinclude>
== Usage ==
<pre>
{{Country_(FINAL)
| title1 = The Enclave
| national_anthem = "The Star Spangled Banner-- Bezorian Mix"
| capital = Bidenkeep, Exegar
| largest_city = Bidenkeep, Exegar
| religion = Mummyism
| government = The Mummy
| population = between 1,000,000 and 100,000,000,000
| currency = Waifurian Dollar
}}
</pre>
</noinclude>

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T03:03:33Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly>
{| class="wikitable" style="float:right; clear:right; margin:0 0 1em 1em; width:300px; font-size:90%; border:1px solid #aaa;"
|-
! colspan="2" style="text-align:center; font-size:125%; padding:5px; background:#cee0f2;" | {{#if:{{{title1|}}}|{{{title1}}}|{{PAGENAME}}}}
{{#if:{{{image1|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center; padding:5px;" | [[File:{{{image1}}}|280px]]{{#if:{{{caption-image1|}}}|<br/><small>{{{caption-image1}}}</small>|}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{image2|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center; padding:5px;" | [[File:{{{image2}}}|280px]]{{#if:{{{caption-image2|}}}|<br/><small>{{{caption-image2}}}</small>|}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_anthem|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; width:40%; padding:4px;" | National Anthem
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{national_anthem}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{capital|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Capital
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{capital}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{largest_city|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Largest City
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{largest_city}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_language|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | National Language
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{national_language}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{religion|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Religion
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{religion}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{demonym|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Demonym(s)
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{demonym}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{government|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Government
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{government}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{total_area|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Total Area
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{total_area}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{population|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Population
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{population}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{currency|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff; padding:4px;" | Currency
| style="padding:4px;" | {{{currency}}}
|}}
|}
</includeonly>
<noinclude>
== Usage ==
Copy and paste the following to use this template:
<pre>
{{Country_(FINAL)
| title1 =
| image1 =
| caption-image1 =
| image2 =
| caption-image2 =
| national_anthem =
| capital =
| largest_city =
| national_language =
| religion =
| demonym =
| government =
| total_area =
| population =
| currency =
}}
</pre>

== Example ==
<pre>
{{Country_(FINAL)
| title1 = The Enclave
| national_anthem = "The Star Spangled Banner-- Bezorian Mix"
| capital = Bidenkeep, Exegar
| largest_city = Bidenkeep, Exegar
| religion = Mummyism
| government = The Mummy
| population = between 1,000,000 and 100,000,000,000
| currency = Waifurian Dollar
}}
</pre>

<templatedata>
{
"description": "Infobox for countries",
"params": {
"title1": {
"label": "Title",
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"type": "string",
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"type": "string",
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"national_language": {
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"religion": {
"label": "Religion",
"description": "The official or majority religion",
"type": "string",
"suggested": true
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"type": "string",
"suggested": true
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"government": {
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"description": "The type or name of government",
"type": "string",
"suggested": true
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"total_area": {
"label": "Total Area",
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"type": "string",
"suggested": true
},
"population": {
"label": "Population",
"description": "The population of the country",
"type": "string",
"suggested": true
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"currency": {
"label": "Currency",
"description": "The currency used in the country",
"type": "string",
"suggested": true
}
},
"sets": [],
"maps": {}
}
</templatedata>
</noinclude>

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T03:02:36Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly>
{| class="wikitable infobox" style="float:right; clear:right; margin:0 0 1em 1em; width:250px; font-size:90%;"
|-
! colspan="2" style="text-align:center; font-size:125%; background:#cee0f2;" |
{{#if:{{{title1|}}}|{{{title1}}}|{{PAGENAME}}}}
{{#if:{{{image1|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" |
[[File:{{{image1}}}|250px]]
{{#if:{{{caption-image1|}}}|<br/><small>{{{caption-image1}}}</small>|}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{image2|}}}|
|-
| colspan="2" style="text-align:center;" |
[[File:{{{image2}}}|250px]]
{{#if:{{{caption-image2|}}}|<br/><small>{{{caption-image2}}}</small>|}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_anthem|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | National Anthem
| {{{national_anthem}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{capital|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Capital
| {{{capital}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{largest_city|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Largest city
| {{{largest_city}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{national_language|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | National language
| {{{national_language}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{religion|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Religion
| {{{religion}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{demonym(s)|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Demonym(s)
| {{{demonym(s)}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{government|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Government
| {{{government}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{total_area|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Total area
| {{{total_area}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{population|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Population
| {{{population}}}
|}}
{{#if:{{{currency|}}}|
|-
! style="text-align:left; background:#ddeeff;" | Currency
| {{{currency}}}
|}}
|}
</includeonly>
<noinclude>
== Usage ==
Example usage:
<pre>
{{Country (FINAL)
| title1=Example
| image1=Example.png
| caption-image1=Example caption
| image2=Example2.png
| caption-image2=Example caption 2
| national_anthem=Example
| capital=Example
| largest_city=Example
| national_language=Example
| religion=Example
| demonym(s)=Example
| government=Example
| total_area=Example
| population=Example
| currency=Example
}}
</pre>

<templatedata>
{
"params": {
"title1": {"suggested": true, "description": "Title of the infobox, defaults to page name"},
"image1": {"suggested": true, "description": "First image filename"},
"caption-image1": {"suggested": true, "description": "Caption for the first image"},
"image2": {"suggested": true, "description": "Second image filename"},
"caption-image2": {"suggested": true, "description": "Caption for the second image"},
"national_anthem": {"suggested": true, "description": "National anthem of the country"},
"capital": {"suggested": true, "description": "Capital city"},
"largest_city": {"suggested": true, "description": "Largest city"},
"national_language": {"suggested": true, "description": "National language(s)"},
"religion": {"suggested": true, "description": "Official or majority religion"},
"demonym(s)": {"suggested": true, "description": "Demonym(s) for the country"},
"government": {"suggested": true, "description": "Type of government"},
"total_area": {"suggested": true, "description": "Total area of the country"},
"population": {"suggested": true, "description": "Population of the country"},
"currency": {"suggested": true, "description": "Currency used"}
},
"sets": [],
"maps": {}
}
</templatedata>
</noinclude>

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T03:00:44Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly>
<infobox>
<title source="title1">
<default>{{PAGENAME}}</default>
</title>
<image source="image1">
<caption source="caption-image1"/>
</image>
<image source="image2">
<caption source="caption-image2"/>
</image>
<data source="national_anthem">
<label>National Anthem</label>
</data>
<data source="capital">
<label>Capital</label>
</data>
<data source="largest_city">
<label>Largest city</label>
</data>
<data source="national_language">
<label>National language</label>
</data>
<data source="religion">
<label>Religion</label>
</data>
<data source="demonym(s)">
<label>Demonym(s)</label>
</data>
<data source="government">
<label>Government</label>
</data>
<data source="total_area">
<label>Total area</label>
</data>
<data source="population">
<label>Population</label>
</data>
<data source="currency">
<label>Currency</label>
</data>
</infobox>
</includeonly>
<noinclude>
Example usage:
<pre>
{{Country (FINAL)

| title1=Example

| image1=Example

| caption1=Example

| image2=Example

| caption2=Example

| national_anthem=Example

| capital=Example

| largest_city=Example

| national_language=Example

| religion=Example

| demonym(s)=Example

| government=Example

| total_area=Example

| population=Example

| currency=Example

}}
</pre>
<templatedata>
{"params":{"title1":{"suggested":true},"image1":{"suggested":true},"caption1":{"suggested":true},"image2":{"suggested":true},"caption2":{"suggested":true},"national_anthem":{"suggested":true},"capital":{"suggested":true},"largest_city":{"suggested":true},"national_language":{"suggested":true},"religion":{"suggested":true},"demonym(s)":{"suggested":true},"government":{"suggested":true},"total_area":{"suggested":true},"population":{"suggested":true},"currency":{"suggested":true}},"sets":[],"maps":{}}
</templatedata>
</noinclude>

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T02:58:53Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly><table class="infobox" style="width: 22em; text-align: left; font-size: 88%; line-height: 1.5em; float: right; clear: right; margin: 0.5em 0 1em 1em; background-color: #f9f9f9; border: 1px solid #aaa; padding: 0.2em;">
<tr>
<th colspan="2" style="text-align: center; font-size: 125%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0.2em; background-color: #e2e2e2;">{{{title1|{{PAGENAME}}}}}</th>
</tr>
{{#if:{{{image1|}}}|
<tr>
<td colspan="2" style="text-align: center; padding-bottom: 0.5em;">[[File:{{{image1}}}|frameless|center|alt={{{caption1|}}}]]
{{#if:{{{caption1|}}}|<div style="font-size: 90%; text-align: center; padding-top: 0.2em;">{{{caption1}}}</div>}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{image2|}}}|
<tr>
<td colspan="2" style="text-align: center; padding-bottom: 0.5em;">[[File:{{{image2}}}|frameless|center|alt={{{caption2|}}}]]
{{#if:{{{caption2|}}}|<div style="font-size: 90%; text-align: center; padding-top: 0.2em;">{{{caption2}}}</div>}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{national_anthem|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; width: 35%; vertical-align: top;">National Anthem</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{national_anthem}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{capital|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Capital</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{capital}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{largest_city|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Largest city</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{largest_city}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{national_language|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">National language</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{national_language}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{religion|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Religion</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{religion}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{demonym(s)|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Demonym(s)</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{demonym(s)}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{government|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Government</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{government}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{total_area|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Total area</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{total_area}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{population|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Population</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{population}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
{{#if:{{{currency|}}}|
<tr>
<th scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;">Currency</th>
<td style="padding: 0.2em;">{{{currency}}}</td>
</tr>
}}
</table></includeonly><noinclude>
Example usage:
<pre>
{{Country_(FINAL)
| title1=The Enclave
| national_anthem="The Star Spangled Banner-- Bezorian Mix"
| capital=Bidenkeep, Exegar
| largest_city=Bidenkeep, Exegar
| religion=Mummyism
| government=The Mummy
| population=between 1,000,000 and 100,000,000,000
| currency=Waifurian Dollar
}}
</pre>
<templatedata>
{"params":{"title1":{"suggested":true},"image1":{"suggested":true},"caption1":{"suggested":true},"image2":{"suggested":true},"caption2":{"suggested":true},"national_anthem":{"suggested":true},"capital":{"suggested":true},"largest_city":{"suggested":true},"national_language":{"suggested":true},"religion":{"suggested":true},"demonym(s)":{"suggested":true},"government":{"suggested":true},"total_area":{"suggested":true},"population":{"suggested":true},"currency":{"suggested":true}},"sets":[],"maps":{}}
</templatedata>
</noinclude>

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T02:56:24Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

<includeonly>{| class="infobox" style="width: 22em; text-align: left; font-size: 88%; line-height: 1.5em; float: right; clear: right; margin: 0.5em 0 1em 1em; background-color: #f9f9f9; border: 1px solid #aaa; padding: 0.2em;"
|-
! colspan="2" style="text-align: center; font-size: 125%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0.2em; background-color: #e2e2e2;" | {{{title1|{{PAGENAME}}}}}
{{#if:{{{image1|}}}|
{{!}}-
{{!}} colspan="2" style="text-align: center; padding-bottom: 0.5em;" {{!}} [[File:{{{image1}}}|frameless|center|alt={{{caption1|}}}]]
{{#if:{{{caption1|}}}|<div style="font-size: 90%; text-align: center; padding-top: 0.2em;">{{{caption1}}}</div>}}
}}
{{#if:{{{image2|}}}|
{{!}}-
{{!}} colspan="2" style="text-align: center; padding-bottom: 0.5em;" {{!}} [[File:{{{image2}}}|frameless|center|alt={{{caption2|}}}]]
{{#if:{{{caption2|}}}|<div style="font-size: 90%; text-align: center; padding-top: 0.2em;">{{{caption2}}}</div>}}
}}
{{#if:{{{national_anthem|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; width: 35%; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} National Anthem
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{national_anthem}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{capital|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Capital
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{capital}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{largest_city|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Largest city
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{largest_city}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{national_language|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} National language
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{national_language}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{religion|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Religion
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{religion}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{demonym(s)|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Demonym(s)
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{demonym(s)}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{government|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Government
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{government}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{total_area|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Total area
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{total_area}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{population|}}}|
{{!}}-
! scope="row" style="padding: 0.2em; vertical-align: top;" {{!}} Population
{{!}} style="padding: 0.2em;" {{!}} {{{population}}}
}}
{{#if:{{{currency|}}}|
{{!}}-
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Auditor

2026-04-18T02:56:13Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

{{Character|name=Auditor|relatives=Author
Chraunror|affiliation=The Employers
The I|occupation=Employer|birthPlace=The Outervoid|species=Employer|gender=Unknown|height=10'7 (Preferred Form)|weight=Unknown|eyes=Red (Preferred Form)}}
[[File:AuditorFinal.jpeg|thumb|Artist’s illustration of The Auditor’s preferred form, painted on [[Kragdrysil]] during his “reign.” No photographs of him exist due to the camera flash “Burning his eyes”]]
The Auditor is one of the three [[Employers]] who reside outside of time and space. The Auditor is, according to the other two, the least intelligent of The Employers. However, that still places him leagues above most of the former Omniverse’s denizens.

The Auditor mostly lives up to his name, ensuring deals made with mortals in the Omniverse were paid back in full. (Lest they face Unforeseen Consequences) However, he seems to prefer inspection on a physical level, as he was the most frequently spotted of the Employers in the Omniverse.

== Cherry Cola Addiction ==
The Auditor has shown a strange affinity for [[J.F. Sweets|J.F. Sweet]]’s Cherry Cola, and he is seemingly emotionally dependent on the drink. When deprived of it, The Auditor becomes incredibly irritable even going so far as to.. well.. I’m really not at liberty to say. Following the destruction of the Omniverse, The Auditor switched to Cherry Coca-Cola as an alternative but it “Just doesn’t taste the same.” The other [[Employers]] have commented that The Auditor has become much more socially tolerable since the switch.

== History in the Omniverse ==
The Auditor made several appearances throughout the Omniverse, acting as the [[Employers|Employer]]’s harbringer of “Ensured Repayment”, as they called it. The Auditor caused quite a ruckus on several occassions.

=== Herbert Moon Incident ===
Sometime after [[The great META war|the Great META War]], The Auditor visited a desperate, run-down town by the name of Armadillo. Seeking new business prospects, he came across a man by the name of Herbert Moon. Herbert was a greedy, incredibly superstitious, pathetic man in search of well.. “otherworldly” protection due to the rampant outbreak of the Hungarian Nanobug Jitters. The Auditor offered Moon immunity from the Jitters, but in exchange, Herbert vowed to accept whatever assignments were laid before him (by the Employers).

When the time came to accept his assignment, Moon refused. The Auditor, showing his usual impatience, drove Moon insane. This resulted in the Moon Massacre, after which Herbert was never seen by humanity again. He was presumably sold off as leverage for the Employer’s other dealings.

=== Demon Core Incident ===
While searching for a power source to fuel [[Waifuria Prime]], the [[Black Mesa|Black Mesa Research Facility]] had accepted a deal from [[Employers|the Employers]]. The Employers lent them the materials necessary to fuel the station, at the cost of Waifuria Prime's blueprints. The scientists then, agreed, and utilized the “Demon Core” (it was named with mysterious connotations by the Employers) to great success within almost all the trials conducted on it. Just before it was due to be presented to [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]], The Auditor appeared, to ensure the Employers' side of the deal would be paid. The scientists refused to hand over the blueprints, fearing a mindrotten death if their betrayal of the [[Waifurian Empire]] were discovered. The Auditor did not take kindly to this, activating the Demon Core’s full potential in an untested area, killing the scientists immediately, and causing a massive radiation leak in 75% of the Facility. This portion of [[Black Mesa]], Anomalous Materials, would not be habitable for several centuries.

=== Conquering of Kragdrysil ===
Late into the Omniverse’s history, The Auditor descended from the Outervoid into the Omniverse to obtain more of his Mummy-sponsored addictive Cherry Cola, but found that [[Waifuria Prime]], the only vendor of this substance, no longer existed. This enraged The Auditor, and he scoured the entire Omniverse looking for more of it.**

(Several “Deals gone wrong” occurred during this search, the details of which The Employers refuse to share with us.)

Eventually he found a six-pack of Cherry Cola, hidden within the reserves of the Kragdrys Palace. The Auditor took this stash, but while leaving the palace was spotted by the guards and ordered to stand trial before the Empress. The Auditor obliged, seeing an opportunity. The Empress of Kragdrys was infuriated that she was being stolen from, and requested to speak to The Auditor’s manager. The Auditor said to her that he was his own employer. (A joke only he found funny) The Empress ordered The Auditor to be executed, to which he vaporized her, her guards, and the entire population of the palace. He claimed the Kragdrysilian throne for himself and ordered for every citizen of the capital to meet outside the palace.

The Auditor then gave a speech directing all lunar resources to the production of [[J.F. Sweets|J.F. Sweet]]’s Cherry Cola. One man stood up to The Auditor, but before one syllable left his mouth, he was levitated into the air and exploded, setting an example for the populous. The Auditor remained on the planet for roughly 3 days until he had gained a “Sufficient amount” of his liquid meth. He then left a despot to run the planet for him, paying him in the moon’s newest product. The aftermath of hundreds of years of production of this cola left the skies of the planet dyed red from the artificial dye placed in the drinks, and the cola itself became the primary liquid on the face of the moon. The Auditor returned twice each year to collect his bounty, until the destruction of Inhersloht, which caused Kragdrysil to fall into the system’s star. Forever ending the production of J.F. Sweet’s Cherry Cola throughout the Omniverse. The Omniverse would end just 3 weeks later, but in that time The Auditor suffered major withdrawals and showed symptoms not unlike an epileptic seizure, only leaving this state upon hearing of the happenings on [[Exegar]].

<nowiki>*</nowiki>Attempts to take photos of The Auditor, even with cameras without flash, usually resulted in the camera and the photographer spontaneously combusting, which The Auditor consistently refuses to claim responsibility for.

<nowiki>**</nowiki>It should be noted that JF Sweet's Cherry Cola seemed to induce within the Auditor symptoms akin to copious alcohol consumption, however it is unknown how this occurs.

<nowiki>***</nowiki>The Omniverse would end just 3 weeks later, but in that time The Auditor suffered major withdrawals and showed symptoms not unlike an epileptic seizure, only leaving this state upon hearing of the happenings on Exegar.
[[Category:Gods]]

Template:Country (FINAL)

2026-04-18T02:53:09Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: Created page with "<includeonly> <infobox> <title source="title1"> <default>{{PAGENAME}}</default> </title> <image source="image1"> <caption source="caption-image1"/> </image> <image source="image2"> <caption source="caption-image2"/> </image> <data source="national_anthem"> <label>National Anthem</label> </data> <data source="capital"> <label>Capital</label> </data> <data source="largest_city"> <label>Largest city</label> </data> <data sou..."

R. R. R. R.

2026-04-18T02:52:16Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:RRRR.png|thumb|Quadruple R. ]]R.R.R.R. (Full name unknown) was the founder and owner of the multigalactic gigaconglomerate '[[OmniStar Corporation]]'. He was an enigmatic and soullean planetary real estate mogul, known across the stars for his no-cause evictions and frequent suspicious collapses of his "unprofitable" residency complexes. R.R.R.R. made much of his money buying and selling entire planets and solar systems to the highest bidder.
{{Character|name=R.R.R.R.|aliases=Quadruple R

Big R

The Top Dog

The Boss|affiliation=OmniStar Corporation|occupation=CEO|marital=|birthDate=July 30, 999,909 AB|birthPlace=New Memphis, Berrand|deathDate=December 31, 999,999 AB|deathPlace=Bidenkeep, Exegar|species=Human|gender=Male|height=6'1|weight=190 lbs|eyes=green}}

== Fortune ==
R.R.R.R. secured his fortune in a rotten way; by finding and selling artifacts from ancient civilizations of times long past. When he was a young boy, R.R.R.R, while on vacation on [[Trytinia]], discovered the fossilized head of a [[Keith Cumshoes|strange tree-like creature]] in the overgrown wreckage of [[Waifuria Prime]]. Enthralled by this discovery, R.R.R.R. brought the head back home with him, and began scouring the Garrynet for more archeological finds. He became fascinated with the ancient galactic empires of times long past; the [[Combine]] and [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian Empires]], in particular.

R.R.R.R. memorized every battle of the Great META Wars, and pored over ancient diagrams and texts of the galaxy-spanning civilizations that had once been. He dreamed of visiting the Waifurian Homeworld, [[Earth 2|Earth]], and seeing for himself the glory and splendor of the heart of the Waifurian Empire. However, when he eventually scrounged enough money up to take a ferry across the stars to the [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] System, he was rather unimpressed with the dilapidated, pitiful excuse of a planet he found before him. [[Syndor City]] had long since been reduced to ash; the [[Bass Pro Shop Pyramid]] was nowhere to be found. Rather dissapointed, R.R.R.R. continued poring over notable locations from the ancient wars; [[Battle of Alexandria|Alexandria]], [[Las Vegas Invasion|Las Vegas]], and even Albuquerque. After a close call with a black hole, R.R.R.R. had one last stop to make on his list; the radioactive hellscape that was [[Columbus, Ohio]].

== Bombing of Columbus 2 ==
Arriving in Columbus, R.R.R.R. was astounded at the miraculous preservation of the architecture and machinery of this ancient era; it was as if it had barely been touched. This was thanks to [[Black Mesa]]'s specialized construction of the Nuclear Pumpkin 2 in the [[Bombing of Columbus 2|second Bombing of Columbus]], which was designed to incinerate organic matter while preserving everything else. Because of this, The whole of Columbus was a nuclear ghost town; however, at this point, the average human could sustain up to four hours within the city without any negative effects. However, it was still not safe to be exposed to these materials for more than four hours, because of the Nuclear Pumpkin's half-life.

== Scavenge ==
R.R.R.R. began harvesting materials from the wreckage and selling them on Garry's List (an online marketplace, named after the late planet and computer programmer [[Garrymede]]). R.R.R.R. was unable, or, unwilling, however, to denote that prolonged exposure to these materials could have serious long-term effects on the owner's health; namely, radiation sickness. R.R.R.R. sold bike wheels, candies, weaponry, and street signs for trillions of credits apiece; eventually, he became so independently wealthy that he was able to open his own Antique shop in [[New Memphis]]; he named this shop '[[OmniStar]]', and this was the beginning of something truly wretched.

== Columbian-Waifurian Trade Depot ==
R.R.R.R.'s business was good, but it was still slow. He was able to make a lot of money, for what he was doing; but still, he wanted more. R.R.R.R. began travelling across the Omniverse, selling selections of his artifacts to anyone willing to listen to him talk. R.R.R.R. eventually found himself on the dark world [[Exegar]], and did great business there. The hooded, gaunt people who lived on this planet were as obsessed with the [[Waifurian Empire]] as he was; in fact, perhaps moreso. They told legendary tales of the 'Enlightened One'; a man who lived for forty thousands years, they told R.R.R.R. He ruled the empire as a gracious and benevolent despot, and led the people of Earth to victory in [[The great META war|the Great META War]].

While R.R.R.R. had heard stories of this ancient 'Enlightened One', he had been mostly scrubbed from Earth-written history books, with the Waifurian Empire being referred to as a communal entity; R.R.R.R. had never known there to be a leader at the head of this massive, galaxy-sprawling government (although, it did make sense). Regardless of the historical specifics, R.R.R.R. had found his niche market to sell to; and he kept bringing more, and more, and more Columbian goods to Exegar. The cloaked figures, who referred to themselves as '[[The Enclave|The Enclavists]]', were eager to buy, and for very gracious prices; R.R.R.R. was a billionaire within 6 years.
[[File:Dream TradingCard - 2023-05-27T154731.698.jpg|thumb|Garudis-5]]

== New Financial Exploits ==
With newfound finances abound, R.R.R.R. purchased his first planet in 999,922 AB. This planet was [[Garudis-5]], a small, rocky nothing planet in an otherwise remarkable solar system. R.R.R.R. developed real estate on this planet, covering half its surface in mixed-use development, before selling it off to the highest bidder- that being, in this case, the Artificial Intelligence Gonja-brain 'James Fargo V63', CEAI (Chief Executive Artificial Intelligence) of gigaconglomerate [[J.F. Sweets|JF Sweets]]. With the money negotiated from this deal, R.R.R.R. purchased another two celestial bodies-- two stupid, unnamable, useless, poor excuses for moons, and did the same thing-- this time marketing them as a 'tourist destination'. Again, they were purchased right away.

This continued on for several decades in this fashion, with R.R.R.R. quietly gaining more and more money and buying larger and larger real estate properties; eventually, at one point, he began so filthy rich that he was in negotiations to purchase the fledgeling Kroasis system-- but decided against it when a certain... other solar system went up for sale.

== A Celestial Acquisition ==
In 999,941 AB, R.R.R.R., now with a net worth of 4.4 Quadrillion Trillion dollars, had experienced, to say the least, a meteoric rise in capital. Using the purchasing power of the now-massive [[OmniStar Corporation]], he purchased the Sol System from the [[Venus]]-Earth Governance Guild for half of his net worth- 2.2 Quadrillion Trillion Dollars- and thus, was made the chief executor of one star, six planets, two pseudo-planets, inumerable dwarf planets and moons, and a number of irrelevant, pointless objects. Now, R.R.R.R, with all the power and influence money can buy, began to invest heavily not in preserving the Earth for the future-- but exploiting it for its past. He dug deep into the crusts of North America and Europe, finding ancient [[Pangea|Pangean]] Treasures abound. He recovered hundreds of fossilized [[Combine]] and [[M.T.O.|MTO]] troops, and discovered the ruins of the [[United States of America|United States]] Capitol Building deep beneath the ruins of Syndor City. What did he do with all of these artifacts, ancient, delicate relics from a time long past? Well, he sold them to the Enclave, of course.

[[The Enclave]] was particularly excited whenever R.R.R.R. delivered them intact starships, battleships or weaponry; the cultists paid handsomely for those.

=== The Martian Question ===
[[The Enclave]] continued funnelling egregious sums of money into R.R.R.R's bank account, and he dumped these vast sums of cash straight into, and almost exclusively toward, the economic and residential development of Mars. R.R.R.R. saw [[Mars]] as the perfect business venture; it was well within Sol's habitable zone, was relatively untouched by civilization, and had an abundance of fresh-water at its poles. His economic Advisors warned against putting all of his eggs into this one basket; but R.R.R.R. fired them for dissenting. He knew what he was doing, and didn't need to be told 'no' by a bunch of synthezoids in suits.
[[File:Mars2.png|thumb|Mars, A Utopia. ]]

== The Utopia ==
In January of 999,945 AB, R.R.R.R. held a Grandoid Opening of [[Mars]]: he dubbed the reborn planet 'the Homeowner's dream'. Mars was a bona fide utopia; perfect, ecologically sustainable housing dotted the coasts of the planet; the atmosphere was breathable and cool, and a synthetic Magnetic Field had been erected to protect the planet from solar radiation. Immediately, tens of millions of people (including many Earthlings) began moving to Mars, excited to start their new lives on the Red Planet.
Unfortunately for them, this was not fated to be so. Two days later, a rogue laser beam, launched by [[Waifuria Prime]] roughly 800,000 years in the past and just now reaching the Sol System, struck and destroyed [[Mars]], killing 14.3 million people and obliterating R.R.R.R.'s four years of hard work; but, more importantly, one billion quadrillion dollars worth of equipment. R.R.R.R. was heartbroken; he sank into a deep rage. He fired all of his top executives, and relocated to his office in Earth's largest city, Juneau, Alaska, from which he began plotting his economic comeback.

== OmniStar Corporation ==
By 999,950 AB, Omnistar Corporation had come roaring back to life. R.R.R.R. had purchased the Alpha Centauri System, the Kroasis System, and repurchased [[Garudis-5]] from JF Sweets.

After years of gobbling up more and more solar systems, R.R.R.R. amassed enough wealth that he did something previously unimaginable-- and never before heard of in Omniversal History. He fucking '''''bought''''' '[[J.F. Sweets|JF Sweets]]' .

For context, JF Sweets had accounted for approximately 80% of the Omniverse's wealth before R.R.R.R purchased it. Now, OmniStar Corporation was unfathomably wealthy; impossibly, unimaginably, inumerably wealthy. It was THE Monopoly, the only viable financial entity left in the Omniverse. R.R.R.R. controlled everything; the banks, real estate, food, transportation, even travel; it was all funneled through his OmniStar Corporation. Now, R.R.R.R. was practically a god in every sense of the word; and yet, he still wanted more.
[[File:MummyRotten.png|thumb|All Roads Lead Back To [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]...]]

== The Mummy; Rotten To The Core ==
[[The Enclave]], when R.R.R.R. spoke of this feeling, comforted him- they assured him they knew exactly what kind of power he sought. They reminded R.R.R.R. of the ancient powers of their 'Enlightened One'-- and promised he could meet him, and learn from him... for a price. But R.R.R.R. knew the 'Enlightened One' was long since dead-- whatever they were worshipping, it wasn't him. But they had been his loyal customers for all these years; the least he could do was entertain their suggestion. What could possibly go wrong?

When R.R.R.R. descended, once again, on the surface of Exegar, he noticed something deeply... wrong about the planet. There was no wind. It was dead silent, quiet, and still. The planet was below freezing, now, and ashy snowclouds hung in oily overcast in the sky; R.R.R.R. was prepared to entertain one of the most ludicrous business propositions of his life. The Enclave approached his ship and escorted him down to the Bidenkeep; the ancient walls of this mysterious temple were littered with the relics R.R.R.R. had sold to the cultists, thirty years ago.

[[The Enclave]] cultists brought R.R.R.R. down a long, narrow set of stairs-- illuminated only by a dim, aquamarine flame-- which grew darker and darker the further they descended. R.R.R.R. noticed he had lost connection to the Garrynet; but thought nothing of it; he'd be back on the surface again soon.

Finally, the harrowing staircase gave way into a vast, open chamber. The walls were old; R.R.R.R. recognized daedric, Pangean inscriptions covering almost every smooth surface. The text told of terrible wars of times long past; they spoke of the exploits of [[Malike Tragedia]], the [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|MAGA King]], and the Dragon King's [[Alduin|Firstborn]]. It occurred to R.R.R.R. that this entire temple was comprised of ancient buildings and artifacts he sold to R.R.R.R, excavated from the bowels of the Earth.

Strange machinery and vials were cluttered in the center of this room; a gnarled, twisted body lay in a fetal position in the center of this machinery, wires and cables plugged in and out of it at seemingly every crevice. R.R.R.R. was deeply disturbed by the sight of the corpse in front of him; but as he turned to leave, two cultists blocked his escape. They pushed him towards the body, and began chanting.

"Long Live Waifuria! Long Live the Emperor!"

They repeated this several times over, pushing R.R.R.R. closer and closer to the body, until he was practically standing on top of it. Now, he began calling out for help; screaming for someone to rescue him. But there was no escape from the Emperor of Waifuria. Without saying a word, the cultists tied R.R.R.R. down, directly facing the crumpled, lifeless body, and began affixing cords and wires to R.R.R.R.'s veins and arteries. They dug into his bloodstream, and he watched in horror as his own blood flowed into the Mummy's lifeless body. The Mummy blinked, and slowly, laboriously, sat up, revitalized by the fresh lifeforce injected into his veins. The cords connecting the two bloodstreams remained in place, and now the Mummy's own blood; blackened, decayed, and clumpy-- rushed inwards towards R.R.R.R's own organs. Panicking, R.R.R.R. tore the cables out of his body; his own blood, and Mummy's Blood, began squirting everywhere, spraying the cultists in a red and black splattering of organic materials. Mummy furrowed his brow at R.R.R.R, alert, staring deep into R.R.R.R's soul.

"You have brought me..." the Mummy croaked, dust spewing from his ancient maw; "life...".

R.R.R.R. sucked at his own wounds, stopping the bleeding. The cultists seemed relatively unbothered by his removing the blood cords; a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one. The Mummy watched this with curiosity, before raising his hand to the sky and smiling, faintly.

"You have brought me my Empire." The Mummy said now, with more gravitas. R.R.R.R. jumped as a bolt of purple electricity suddenly shot from the ceiling down Mummy's gnarled hand. Mummy turned away from him and pivoted towards one of the ancient, Pangean walls. He pointed his finger at the engravings, and the bolt whizzed out of his finger, striking the wall with immense force. Slowly, the wall slid up into the ceiling, revealing a massive hangar in the other room. R.R.R.R.'s heart skipped a beat when he realized, in abject horror, what laid before him.

== One Last Blunder ==
The chamber within was miles wide and miles high; impossibly large, and impossibly tall. From end to end, [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] battleships, tanks, and starfighters were crammed tightly together... the ships R.R.R.R. had sold to the cultists for decades. Thousands of cultists rushed around the chamber in upgraded [[M.T.O.|MTO]] uniforms, toolboxes in hand. The weapons R.R.R.R. had sold to as ancient artifacts... as historical memorabilia... had been totally restored by [[the Enclave]] Cultists. ''For what purpose?'' [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]] stood and began shambling towards the massive fleet, a wicked grin on his twisted face and a purple glint in his eye.

The cultists brought R.R.R.R. to his feet and escorted him, forcefully, to Mummy's side. They now stood on a platform overlooking the Waifurian fleet, and R.R.R.R. realized for the first time the true scale of how much weaponry he'd sold to [[the Enclave]]. Hundreds of battle cruisers, thousands of starfighters, and tens of thousands of anti-aircraft weaponry were freshly cleaned, and, no doubt, ready for war.

A fragment of what appeared to be an incomprehensively massive, rusty, [[Gigamagnet|dented magnet]] hung from the ceiling, twisted in the shape of a 'J'. It seemed to be eminating a deep purple glow. Inumerable Combine plasma guns, Waifurian energy blasters, and infantry-grade starmetal Katanas were stacked neatly in hulking crates which littered the floor of this massive chamber. Waifurian [[Superpredators]] marched neatly in rows of two along the edges of the chamber, seemingly practicing battle drills. R.R.R.R. turned to the decrepit Mummy in abject terror.

"What have I done?" R.R.R.R. whispered to himself, in shock.

Mummy lifted a gnarled hand to R.R.R.R.'s shoulder.

"You just made this rice farmer one happy camper, jack..." the Mummy snarled, his eyes flickeringfrom R.R.R.R. to the newly restored Waifurian invasion fleet, "Now... Waifuria lives."

[[Category:Characters]]

Uranian Rebellion

2026-04-18T02:51:49Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:A fire spreads.jpg|thumb|A fire spreads across the lower levels of [[Ourana]]'s South Precinct. ]]
The Uranian Rebellion was a 999,989 AB uprising of the [[Uranian Gas Corporation]] and [[Uranus|Urano]]-[[Neptune|Neptunian]] Government, the [[Commonwealth of Uranian Municipalities]], against the dictatorial rule of the [[OmniStar Corporation]] Incarnate [[Corporatus]].
[[File:Biden incident.jpg|thumb|The Rotter was haggard and foul. ]]

== Uranian Incursion ==
The [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Third Great META War]] was 30 years in with no signs of stopping. As the Waifurian [[The Enclave|Enclave]] wrought rot across the Omniverse, and as stars fizzled out and solar systems crumbled, Supreme Enclavical Overlord [[Joe Biden]], reinvigorated with the wicked energies of the [[Aubergine]], sought to bring about the [[Waifurian Empire]] once again. Many forces had aligned against this cause; in fact, nearly the entire Omniverse, apart from corrupt soulless sellouts, united to fight against the resurging rot that once had been.

One aforementioned corporate sellout was the mayor of [[Ourana]], Uranus; [[Jishi Ravelle]], whose tenure in the position was fast approaching 900,000 years, an unprecedented length of time to rule a territory.

Over this period of time, Jishi herself had made many connections across the Omniverse, shaking hands and posing for photo ops with all sorts of rogue capitalist freaks. She sold the Uranian gas to whoeever would buy it- no questions asked- including, with the onset of [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|GMW3]], the [[The Enclave|Enclave]]. These transfers were tax-exempt under rotten Milky-Andromedan fuel laws.

After the purchasing of the [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] System by OmniStar founder [[R. R. R. R.|R.R.R.R.]] in 999,941 AB, [[Jishi Ravelle|Jishi]] had quite pathetically resigned herself to being a puppet dog of OmniStar; and, following R.R.R.R's unfortunate dissapearance on [[Exegar]], obeyed the sentient incarnation of the intergalactic gigaconglomerate, which had deemed itself [[Corporatus]].

== Under new Management ==
The people of Uranus had, over 40,000 fucking generations, grown somewhat weary of the roten behavior of their matriarch. This all came to a head with the Uranian Decommissioning Announcement of 999,988 AB, in which [[Corporatus]] announced all citizens of [[Uranus]] would be relocated to the core world [[Zerrion]], and the planet would be used as a massive battery to fuel the Enclave's war efforts. Jishi did not protest this, deeply angering her citizens. The mayor's approval rating hit a dismally low .2%.

[[Corporatus]] justified the expatriation of Uranus by citing [[Zerrion]] as the ancestral homeland of many Uranians; however, most residents of [[Ourana]] had never fucking stepped foot on the Zerri homeworld due to draconian anti-emigration measures instituted by OmniStar upon their purchasing of the system.

And so, in 999,989 AB, for the first time in Omniversal History, Jishi Ravelle faced an opponent in the election- endorsed, humiliatingly to her, by the [[Uranian Gas Corporation|Uranian Gas Company]] (still privately owned by a certain '[[Leosis]] Trust Fund', much to the chagrin of [[Corporatus]]). The Uranian Gas Company's CEO, one Mr. [[Hunter Biden]], announced his candidacy on June 3, 999,989, and deposed the Mayor in a landslide election the following week. Hunter - 99.3%. Jishi - .06%

== Corporatusian Rage ==
Corporatus declared this election illegitimate and ordered [[Hunter Biden]] surrender to the authorities immediately. Mr. Biden, with the backing of the populations of [[Uranus]] and [[Neptune]], declined; in fact, he rebuked Corporatus and declared independence from the OmniStar Union. He threatened to withhold Uranian and Neptunian Gas supplies and to attack all OmniStar transports which entered the airspace if his election were not recognized. This was Grand, and was noted by the Employers as having been 'unprecedented'.

Mysteriously, several [[The Enclave|Enclave]] Planetscourge starships just happened to find their way into the [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] System soon after Hunter's declaration. They immediately began bombaring Ourana, targeting its anti-grav generators, which kept the city afloat. The people of the city began panicking.

Hunter Biden had been many things in his life. A tyrant, a murderer, and a warmonger. But one thing he had never been was a quitter. And so Hunter immediately trained the Capitol's Air Defense system on the nearest Enclave shuttle and fired away.

Under OmniStar's 'binding' Planet-Protection Contract (PPC), any planet that came under attack by a foreign entity would be immediately defended and assisted by the OmniStar Corporation until such threat was vanquished. However, [[Corporatus]] may or may not have in fact been the one who invited the Enclave troops to Uranus; and thus, a violation of the OmniStar treaty became apparent. As the battle raged on in the skies of Uranus, various other systems took note of OmniStar's negligence to intervene in the bombardments; and so began to question their 'safety' under the rule of Corporatus.

== Triumphant Assistance ==
Sixty days into the fighting, Ourana's western boroughs had all but fallen into the core of the planet, dangling by wires to the main landmass. The Uranians could fend off the Enclave's attacks, but it seemed that for every ship they vanquished, another would replace it. That is until the arrival of the [[Rick Hernia]] and the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]], who had tracked the Enclave shuttles back to the Sol System. Rick's Legumish Flames engulfed the Enclave vessels, sending them spiralling down into the Uranian atmosphere.

Rick fought his way through hordes of Enclave cultists to the Capitol Palace, where he found [[Hunter Biden]] consulting with several veterans from past wars. Hunter expected Rick to attack him; he collapsed into a ball, cowering at the spiritual lyricality of Richard Marcus Hernandez III. However, no such thing occured. Instead, Rick Hernia offered his hand to Hunter.

"We've found your father, Mr. Biden," said Rick, helping Hunter up.

Hunter looked around at the crumbling capitol palace; listened to the screeching of Enclave missiles rocking the city to and fro.

"This is him, isn't it?" Hunter asked. Rick nodded.

"The Enclave," Rick began, "the invasions, the Omniverse rotting from its very atomic structure- it's all him. it's always been him. Gods, if I'd only known, all those moons ago..."

Hunter hung his head.

Rick pulled Hunter aside.

"We'll take care of him, don't worry. But first, I have a small favor to ask- and by favor, I mean order..."

[[File:Corporatus.jpg|thumb|Corporatus' teeth were stolen from an unknown corpse. ]]

== A Devilish Surprise ==
Corporatus could not compute the sudden and total evacuation of the Uranian population from [[Ourana]] in the midst of the bombardment. Somehow, the civilian populous- along with the Warshippers- had dissapeared almost instantaneously from Uranus. He decided to head down to the Uranus to investigate. His sleek silver exoskeleton shimmered in the sunlight. He stepped over broken glass- the plaza was still. Too still.

And then, a monumentous, planet-shattering explosion echoed out across the plaza. Corporatus swung his head around- deducing that the sound had come not from North, not from East, not from South, not from West- but from Up. To his horror, a massive explosion, too big to have occurred in the atmosphere- too large and distant to have been even one of Uranus' moons- lit up the daytime sky with a brilliant white light.

[[G-0001]] emerged from a white void as debris tore into the Uranian atmosphere, flanked by the [[G- Man|G-Man]] and [[G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)]].

"Corporatus, in the flesh... or rather..." [[G-0001]] sneered at the former's metallic body, "In the imitation body."

"Government Agents..." Corporatus took a step back, his eyes flicking from the G-Men to the increasingly massive explosion in the sky- "Here... how... undetected? Who do you work for?"

"Not who, Mr. [[Corporatus]]," said the [[G- Man|G-Man]], sipping from a box of chicken stock, "but When."

"I'm assuming you gentlemen have something to do with the massive explosion occurring in the sky?" Corporatus asserted. G-Man Alpha giggled.

"Why of course, my dearie. I am glad your supreme intellect has not rendered your metal skull impermeable to context clues."

The air grew thick and hot. The light dimmed from the sky as the sun crested below the horizon, and the explosion came into better view. Winds whipped up across the city- unusual for night.

And then Corporatus sensed it. It was as if a part of his brain had died; a small part, but a close one. And he knew, in that instant, it would never come back on.

Ourana shook violently, tipping slightly upwards. The explosion had grown to cover half of the sky, a deep blue hue, with streaks of red shining through it. And at the center of it all, a bright, impossibly bright light- which Corporatus recognized, immediately, as a Neutron Star. But the sun had just set...

"What...?" the all-knowing AI was dumbfounded.

G-0001 sighed.

"Time..." he drew his breath - "...bomb."

[[Neptune]] had been detonated.

The wind tore stronger and stronger against the AI's body, and he looked down at his fingers to see, to his surprise, that they were... melting.

"You may want to evacuate, my dearie," G-Man Alpha crooned, "This planet is no longer stable."

== Immolation ==
Uranus was swallowed into the hidden neutron Star that had appeared where Neptune once had been , sucked down and devoured by the pulsating bright light. The pulsing neutron star emitted low, ear-splitting screams and shrieks, and occassionally shot out a lash of bright green light. This star was [[Nemesis]].

Nemesis soon drifted out of the Solar System, free-falling towards [[Sagittarius A]].

== Welcome Home ==
The G-Men opened a massive white door onto the picturesque plaza of Ourana, welcoming the people of Uranus back home.

"Apologies for the inconvience, my dearies," G-Man Alpha said, patting them on their shoulders, "Everything has been cleaned up, now. No one will bother you here."

One man stopped, and furrowed his brow, turning to look at the G-Man.

"What do you mean, no one will bother us here?"

"You're safe."

The white door blipped out of existence, and so did the G-Men.The people of Uranus were happily (albeit, mystifyingly and mpossibly) back home at the plaza... exactly how it had been before the Enclave Invasion and the destruction of [[Uranus]]. Great Mysteries were afoot....
[[Category:Events]]

The Enclave

2026-04-18T02:51:36Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Imagevd.png|thumb|The Banner of the Enclave]]
The Waifurian Enclave was an organization formed after the fall of the [[Waifurian Empire]] in the year 100,394 AB which was dedicated to reclaiming the now-liberated Milky Way Galaxy in order to rebuild their Empire to its former glory. Later on, the Enclave developed a cultlike, religious obsession with locating and reviving the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Waifurian Emperor known mononymously as Mummy]], whom they believed to have had the 'Employeric Mandate'.

{{Country_(FINAL)|title1=The Enclave|national_anthem="The Star Spangled Banner-- Bezorian Mix"|capital=Bidenkeep, Exegar|largest_city=Bidenkeep, Exegar|religion=Mummyism|government=The Mummy|population=between 1,000,000 and 100,000,000,000|currency=Waifurian Dollar}}

== Ideology ==
Before discussing the history of the Enclave and their exploits across the Omniverse, it is important to note the driving force behind all their actions, their ideology. A key element of the Enclave's beliefs was the idea that [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]] was a form of deity, sent by the Employers to rule and guide all sentient life in the Omniverse for eternity. (This could not be further from the truth as the Employers greatly disliked the Mummy and only tolerated his existence because of his absorbing of [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Donald Trump]], the Great MAGA King, who's soul would be forever lost if Biden were to die.)

This religious practice was known as Mummyism, and was the central tenant of the Enclave. Furthermore, they believed that through Biden's 44,000 year-long reign over the Waifurian Empire, the [[Employers]] had indirectly designated Waifuria as their chosen empire. (Again, this was largely false as the Employers didn't really give a fuck who was running the Omniverse so long as they did not oppose them.) The Enclave was almost the textbook example of totalitarian as anyone outside the ruling party known as "The Circle" and its military force were sealed inside of highly monitored underground bunkers known as "Vaults" and were not permitted to leave under any circumstance. (Often because the surface of the planets under the control of the Enclave were incredibly hostile, however this was an intentional decision as this permitted them a place to hide within the Omniverse.)

=== The Rise From Ashes ===
The Enclave began as an attempt by former Waifurian officials to regroup and rebuild their glorious, tyrannical Empire. It was in those formative years that the religious factor of the Enclave began to take hold; in their collective delirium from losing the empire (which they had been psychologically formed to entirely devote themselves to at a young age) they began to form a religion around one certain mummified miscreant who had so graciously formed the Waifurian Empire to the benefit of everyone who lived under its loving banner. This religious belief sparked a new goal among the Enclave's personnel, to find and revive [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden (The Mummy)]].

=== Nibiruiums ===
In the clutches of the rarely-traversed deep space fields in which hardly any life existed, the Enclave began to search for habitable worlds from which they could grow anew. In their search the Enclave's scouts came across the legendary Winged Star of Terror, [[Nibiru]]. The Enclave immediately began settling the planet and theorizing on how to best utilize it as a weapon against the newly-independent systems of the Omniverse and more importantly their watchful protectors known as Worlds Without Boundaries. This discovery came at a cost however, as the recently-awakened [[Annunaki]] who had been in stasis for the past hundred thousand years had already began reinhabiting their planet. The Enclave immediately began a military campaign to erase the Annunaki from the planet entirely. Despite their advanced technology, the Annunaki could not withstand the sheer brutality of the Enclave's assault which utilized chemical, biological, and radiological weaponry to completely and utterly ensure the destruction of their opponents. The Annunaki were ultimately destroyed in this conflict, with only a handful of survivors jettisoning themselves out into the stars in the hope they might just evade the Enclave's wrath.

[[File:Cyberon.jpg|thumb|The average Enclave spacesoldier, equipped with W-35 Power Armor and a [[J.F. Sweets|JFSX]] Type 99 Laser-Chest Gatling Cannon. This was the last sight of many Annunaki soldiers and civilians.]]

== The Fake Francis Plot ==
Several decades passed without any major differentiations from the normal, or rather whatever consisted as "normal" by the Enclave's standards. That being the repeated cycle of founding Vaults on the surfaces of planets to increase the able-bodied population in preparation for what was referred to at the time as the Final War. However most Omniversal historians know it by it's more common name of the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|3rd Great META War]]. Eventually the Enclave's high command developed a plan to revive their fallen rotter. Ghetsin 3, home to the Legume and its Warshippers, was in sufficient range to one of their captured planets, Juborus-4. The plan in place was to capture and clone the Prime [[The Warshippers|Warshipper]], [[Francis Merrigold]] so that the clone could utilize the Legume to revive Joe Biden, whose soul was still churning around in Alpha Centauri B.

The average Enclave spacesoldier, equipped with W-35 Power Armor and a [[J.F. Sweets|JFSX]] Type 99 Laser Gatling Cannon. The last sight of many Annunaki soldiers and civilians.

=== Operation Rice Patty ===
A few hours following the confirmation of the plan, a Enclave lightcruiser was sent into the Ghetsin system and launched a ODST group onboard a recoverable drop pod onto the surface of [[Ghetsin 3]]. The ODST group moved swiftly towards the [[Temple of Rannjoe]], the cover of night and their adaptive lightrefractor camouflage were the only things keeping them from being discovered. Thankfully for them, Rick Hernia was on his annual starvoyage and was currently having a conversation with one Yevelin Quantilium and was therefore absent from the temple. The ODST group was undetected as one of the Warshipper's several-hour long ritualistic orgies was occurring and they snuck by undetected. Francis was organizing the feast that was to follow the previously mentioned orgy when he was grabbed from behind by the leader of the ODST group, Captain Frank Horrigan. Francis was then injected with a incapacitating agent and promptly fell into unconsciousness. The ODST group and Francis were all loaded onto the recoverable drop pod and flew back to the lightcruiser. Onboard the cruiser a quarter-sized hole was cut from Francis' left arm and this sample would be utilized to create a clone of Francis, powers and all. The cloning process took only a few hours, mostly due to the control brain chip implanted within its head, and upon it's completion the Francis clone was sent down via a drop pod and the lightcruiser exited the system. On their way back to Juborus-4, the lightcruiser activated its stealth utilities and light-jumped to Alpha Centauri B where it jettisoned the still-unconscious Francis Merrigold into the star as an ironic twist on the death of their favorite [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|rice-farming rotter]].
[[File:Dream TradingCard - 2023-05-29T154434.411.jpg|thumb|An artist's depiction of the ODST group, moving quickly through the ruins of an abandoned [[Ghetsin 3|Ghetsinian]] town.]]

== Legumish Incarnatiums ==
Within hours of its arrival on the planet, the Francis clone immediately mastered its faculties as the Prime Warshipper and utilized the "unknown" section of Francis' schedule to use the power of the Legume to awaken Joe Biden from his soul-slumber in the depths of Alpha Centauri B. After completing his task, Fake Francis' brain chip terminated itself and he suddenly gained all the memories of the old [[Francis Merrigold|Francis]] and had completely forgotten anything about his creation or the misuse of the Legume.

== The Mummy and Exegar ==
Following the awakening of his [[Joe Biden (Legumish Incarnate)|Legumish Incarnate]] form, Joe Biden crash-landed on the surface of a planet in the far reaches of the Omniverse known as [[Exegar]]. The Enclave very quickly obtained Biden's position and engaged in a mass-exodus to the planet, seeking to worship his unholy rottenness. Every last citizen of the Enclave was transported there, even those sealed away in the Vaults long ago. However when they arrived on the planet they discovered two things. The first was that Joe had made a very serious blunder and expended all the energy the Legume had used to revive him during his attack on his son [[Hunter Biden|Hunter]]'s empire. This meant he would need to be revived again. The second thing they discovered was [[Baron Boris Zyklon of Breastland]], who had last been seen running for his life from Donald Trump during the days of Aeternia. (It is entirely unknown to everyone but The I, who refuses to tell us, how he had survived this long or how the fuck he ended up on Exegar.) Baron Boris hailed the Enclave as his saviors, and he pledged to serve them in whatever way he could. The Enclave colonists responded to this by handing him a rusty spoon, pointing at a nearby mountain and telling him to "Go nuts." It took him the better part of 300,000 years to do, but Baron Boris had created what would soon be known as the Bidenkeep. The Enclave quickly inhabited the building, and thanked Baron Boris by extracting his lifeforce and using it in an attempt to revive [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|The Mummy]] which didn't even work.

== [[Mummyplex]] 2: Electric Boogaloo ==
Now with a stable base of operations from which they could settle and begin planning, the Enclave's exploits across the Omniverse came to a close, for the time being. That is, of course, until their holy (or unholy) war against the Omniverse, the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Great META War 3]].
[[Category:Civilizations]]
[[Category:Events]]

MVGVCRVSH Liberation Day

2026-04-18T02:51:09Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:MVGVCRVSH.png|thumb|MVGVCRVSH]]
MVGVCRVSH Liberation Day was a fateful day of economic turmoil on September 11, 990,991 AB which resulted in the complete and total economic collapse of the Milky Way Intraplanetary Economic Forum (MWIEF) and irreedemable intentional annihilation of [[Neo-Aeternia|Neo-Aeterna]]'s economy. The ensuing chaos of the collapse led to the dissolution of Neo-Aeterna several years later and the rise of the [[Neopangean National Socialist Party]], which would rule the war-battered hellscape formerly known as North America until the [[The Final Moment|Final Moment]].

== Origination ==
By 990,990s AB, [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|The Great MAGA King]] (In His Second Cumming) was indeed still glorious and grand in all manners (Eternal Honour to Divinous Supreme God King), including but not limited to Grandeur of Hand Size (Larger Than Normal), Grandeur of Phallus (There was No Problem), and Grandeur of Benevolence (He Was Gracious and Glorious & Divine) however, one additional trait had begun to become apparent in his Magarishness, and this trait, my dearies, was a rather familiar one.

Indeed, this Trait Had Existed in his Magarrishness for quite some time; in fact, by some ascertations, since before time, but had been but a seed; planted in waiting within his Glorious Skull of Glory, and which waited, with baited breath, to rear its head in a most wicked fashion; this trait, my darlings, was Rot.

Rot of the fashion known so many millenia ago in the Mummy, his [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Haggard Foul Bovinity]] (Who, even Still During this Time, Crept His [[Aubergine|Auberginish]] Capacities sneakily throughout Molecules Omniversewide with the help of the Enclave). The Rot of His Magarrishness was indeed of malicious intent; and had been implanted and inseminated into His Glorious Soul many moons ago by [[Joe Biden|Joseph R. Biden Jr.]] during the [[GLue Factory Incident|Mummonic Consumption of Trump's Soulform]] at the Albuquerque Glue Factory in 0 AB.

=== Bidenesque DementiaWalk ===
Thusly, a slow but gradual Bidonic Dementiawalk had begun within the Splendorous and Faultless Mind of His Magarrishness, and by 990,989 AB, a mere 431,430-ish years into his First Aeternal NeoPresidential Term, a rotten plot had began contrivation within the Glorious Godly Skull. This Rotten Plot was Not Endorsed by [[Magarra]]. A Magarrish Speech was Presented to the Aeternian Public, from the Dias of [[Penceville]], on August 3rd, 999,991 AB, on the subject of the booming Neo-Aeternic economy (which was benefiting from slave labor in the Orra system & invested in an ongoing genocide of [[Berrand]]).

Joined on stage for this speech was the disembodied NeuroHead of Elon Tusk & the sentient superintelligence [[Corporatus]] himself, representing the prime investor & Benefactor of Aeternian goingson; T[[OmniStar Corporation|he OmniStar Corporation]].
[[File:Rotspeech.png|thumb|Rotspeech]]

=== Rotspeech Tarifficum ===
The Rotspeech, which droned on for approximately 4 hours and 7 minutes, and which caused fatal cardiac arrest in seven citizens, was varied in subject matter; thirteen sections highlighted seperate spacegolf victories won by the Glorious Godliness; another 51-minute segment examined the complexities of the Penis of the late great Arnold Palmer. However, the most important section, in which The God King decreed his intentions with the economy, was as follows:

"You know, it's pretty, - I mean, it's pretty incredible, what they're doing, in terms of- you know, jobs, right? I mean, OmniStar, these guys - they're so smart, so smart, they say, hey, I'll pay you - I'll pay you five dollars, five, and that's generous, very generous, you won't find anything like that- it's so beautiful. And I'll kiss him on the lips, Corporatus, get over here, that guy, I mean look how handsome. They say, "sir" - people come up to me, they say, "sir", look at this metallic- and I say, I know- and they say, wow, what a handsome fella, and I know, he's very handsome, he's very strong; very chiseled in regards to robot. But robot. And people are saying- many are saying this, and WWB news will never report this - they're saying, you know, in regards to, his body, they say, his- well, you ever see a display port? Not USB, like, a display port, and it's so big, it's so metal, and it's so- everything is computer."

"But they pay five dollars but then, you know the beautiful thing is, is they say, 'well actually, we're gonna take care of housing, we're gonna take care of food, we're gonna take care of... in according to, medical, and it's so strong. So strong and powerful. They call it a 'company town, a company town,', isn't that right, Elon? Look at Elon, I love him, such a handsome guy, you know, I sometimes wonder what it's like in that head of his, attached to - look at all those wires, those beautiful- and I mean, we have the greatest wires, you know, finest wires, [[Zerrion]] silk, and you know, Berrand Microchips - we love Berrand, don't we, Berrand, I like to say, 'Berrand'. What a piece of real estate. We're gonna do a job of it. But where's [[Hunter Biden|Hunter]]? We never hear from - you know, it's terrible what he did, what he did in regards to [[Zurisma]], many people haven't heard of that. But we're looking into that and we're also looking into five dollar wage for the whole, you know, the Omni- the Universe, we say, five, five, it's a beaitiful- look at him, he thought I was gonna say it three times, look at him, look at that guy, that little twink, he's some kinda- he's got a microphone he's all over his microphone, and you know I love microphone, I actually invented the microphone, and Elon invented the microphone, but it was a guy named Nikola, did you ever hear of that? No one's ever heard of - his name was Nikola, Nikola Tesla, and he was named, actually, because his parents loved Elon's cars so much - they lived in California, remember that place? California. And it was so strong. But it was woke and we killed them, you know, the men, the women, but that's okay."

"But, you know, I had a talk, it was a powerful talk - with Elon, and Corporatus, and what's his - JD, oh JD, my little boy, I haven't seen- you never visit, you- it's like I run this country my own, it's a good deal, but that's okay right? That's okay right. And so. Melania, where's Melania- oh, who's- and so there's a talk, we're sitting, and, you know, it's a very powerful conversation, and they say, 'sir, this idea, you have this' - and by the way, i had this really smart idea, I'm like, really smart, many people don't know this- and I said, well, we're gonna do this idea, and they said, 'well, sir, it's a danger, we call it a danger,' and I said, well, no, it's not, because it's making the other systems pay their fair share. Excuse me, so, for example, why does Ghetsin get Jovian Moonstuffs at only a 6% import fee, but we're importing Golem Hide at 13%? Why is that, you know, you wonder, and I decide, it's like, you know, it's terrible really but they're taking advantage- right, guys, you know about that- it's called taking advantage, a rotten thing, a really, foul- who uses that word, rotten, what a terrible word."

"And, I know these are, like, sophisticated guys. They're smart guys, hot guys, smart guys. But, you know, I'm frankly very smart and they are [REDACTED]. Just so fucking [REDACTED]. But that's okay, right? We love 'em. But, I had to explain, and they're looking - look at their faces, all pale and wrinkly - I said, I had to explain that, well, we won't be imposing 10% tariffs on all imports and exports. And they said, 'wow, My Gloriousness, they said wow, thank you for your divine mercy,' and I said, 'well, don't get too excited' - we love that word, excited - 'because I was thinking about 100%'. And JD, and Elon, you should've seen them, on their hands and knees, you'd think it was some kind of - sick, you know, [[Malike Tragedia|Malike]] used to - but it was funny, actually, they begged, and I said, well, no, I won't do 100%. And you should've seen - the relax, their muscles, so powerful- I love muscles, bulging oiled up muscles, you know, there's nothing like a man, who's all oiled up, all shaven, all ready to get to work at a construction, or a deli, or, you know, doing, labor, with regard to wood, or steel- and then I smiled, I looked right into their eyes, and I said, 'I'm not saying the real number till my speech'. And they said, 'sir, sir sir, will it be big?' and I only smiled, you know, I hate to lie- many people say I am the most honest person they've ever known, and I've known a lot of people, close to like, 37, and I said, 'we'll see, boys, we'll see'. Well, here I am, and I am officially announcing the Aeternian Empire will be placing, effective immediately, a 100,000% tariff on all imports and exports, permanently.'

== Crash ==
These tariffs caused entire businesses to collapse within minutes and drew the ire of [[Corporatus]] greatly. nearly the entire profession of economists was wiped out that evening in a wave of murder suicides. The Aeternian Empire's Dollar lost all value within weeks and the Empire collapsed into lawlessness, with JD Vance being chased up the Washington Monument by his own military, whereby in a fit of twisted irony, he was forced to cower in the very spot [[Mike Pence]] had once been suspended. Mass factionalization and infrastructure breakdown disrupted all Earthlean supply chains, and the Great MAGA King dissapeared, perhaps into hiding, or perhaps, towards the increasingly violent and terse warfare in the Berrand system, where [[Exegar]] brewed with something truly vile.
[[Category:Events]]

MOSDOK

2026-04-18T02:50:55Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

{{Character|name=Robert Tarleton|aliases=M.O.S.D.O.K.|relatives=Alduin (Father)

Abigail Tarleton (Mother)|affiliation=Waifurian Empire, Bikini Bottom|occupation=Cuddler, Kisser|marital=Captain Waifuria (temporary)|birthDate=4/3/3,430 AB|birthPlace=Columbus, Ohio (Remnant)|deathDate=4/6/999,994 AB|deathPlace=Exegor|species=Spongelean|gender=Maloid|height=13'6|weight=502 lbs.|eyes=Bluelean}}[[File:MOSDOK (Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed only for Kissing).png|thumb|MOSDOK]]
'''Robert Tarleton''' aka '''M.O.S.D.O.K.''' (''Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Kissing''), formerly '''M.O.S.D.O.C.''' (''Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Cuddles''), was a lowly [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] technician working for the [[Waifurian Lunar Research Center]]. He joined the team to help develop the [[Callisto Conch|New Callisto Conch]], but was [[Glossary:Mutate|mutated]] into a spongelean computer against his will by WLRC CEO [[Marcus Breen]].

Breen grew Robert's bobdy to give him superior cuddling abilities, but with the side effect of porous, rectangular skin and boils forming across his face. His skull was expanded into a massive cube and he became afflicted with a horrific case of [https://www.google.com/search?q=jaundice&sca_esv=9fdca5576095e55b&sxsrf=ADLYWILpUEZ-UrOibM0vONxdiqyxsvuUjw%3A1714856543467&ei=X6I2ZueJHI-s5NoPnomZ2Ag&ved=0ahUKEwintfS48vSFAxUPFlkFHZ5EBosQ4dUDCBA&uact=5&oq=jaundice&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiCGphdW5kaWNlMg0QABiABBixAxhDGIoFMggQABiABBixAzIIEAAYgAQYsQMyCBAAGIAEGLEDMggQABiABBixAzIIEAAYgAQYsQMyCBAAGIAEGLEDMggQABiABBixAzINEAAYgAQYsQMYQxiKBTIIEAAYgAQYsQNI0wRQnQJY_wNwAXgBkAEAmAFFoAHMAaoBATO4AQPIAQD4AQGYAgSgAusBwgIKEAAYsAMY1gQYR8ICDRAAGIAEGLADGEMYigXCAg8QABiABBixAxhDGIoFGArCAgUQABiABJgDAIgGAZAGCpIHATSgB4MP&sclient=gws-wiz-serp Jaundis]. However, Robert was an excellent Cuddler.

Robert's unfortunate affliction meant needed to be placed inside a life support unit dubbed the "[[Doomsday Chair|Kissing Chair]]". The process also gave him a plethora of psychic powers along with an ego and ambition for romantic affection to match. He went on to use his new found powers to take control of the organization that had experimented on him, establishing the breakaway state of 'Bikini Bottom' in a vast cave system on the far side of the [[Earth's Moon|Moon]].

== History ==
Several accounts exist that discuss Robert Tarleton's life before becoming M.O.S.D.O.K.. In one, Robert Tarleton was a skilled technician from [[Columbus, Ohio]]. The second as recounted by his father [[Alduin]] said that Robert lacked intelligence and was hired as a janitor for WLRC as it was the only position willing to accept such an incompetent and undraconic man. A third saw him as a smart man, hired by the [[United States Army (Earth-616)|Waifurian Army]] for weapons research, who took the samples collected from the creatures of [[Xen]] for study.

Robert joined the Waifurian Lunar Research Center and worked with them to recreate the [[Callisto Conch]], a device with infinite capabilities, according to [[Jeff Brown]]. [[Lyle]] decided they needed a way to romantically intertwine with the conch so they created project M.O.S.D.O.C. to analyze and probe the [[Callisto Conch]] and to improve the organization's productivity in its scientific endeavors, while still being subservient to the higher echelons of the organization.

To that end [[Marcus Breen]] and [[Lyle]] mutagenically and soulleanifically altered Robert into the super intelligent being, M.OS.D.O.C., his massive affectionical cuddliniums were too much for his frail body to support so they place in a hoverchair dubbed the [[Kissing Chair|Kissing Chair.]] These scientists unwisely did not take into consideration the theory that superior affection ability naturally leads to superior kissing ambition. It did not take long for M.O.S.D.O.C. to make out with his former masters until they died, subsequently overthrowing WLRC. Robert adopted the new acronym for his title: M.O.S.D.O.K. (Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Kissing) at this time as he was more of a ruthless kisser than a bean counter in his own estimation.

== Captain Waifuria ==
M.O.S.D.O.K. came into conflict with [[Captain Waifuria]] when he came to rescue Lyle from the [[Bikini Bottom]]. M.O.S.D.O.K. tried to destroy Cap with his kisses, but Captain Waifuria was Gay and trhus the two began a romantic entanglement- or so M.O.S.D.O.K. thought. However, it was a ruse from Captain Waifuria, and M.O.S.D.O.K. was kicked in the dick and sent falling into the depths of the Lunar caverns as [[Captain Waifuria]] made away with [[Lyle]]. M.O.S.D.O.K. was thusly presumed dead by the [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurium]].

M.O.S.D.O.K. was later revealed to be alive and well and learned that [[Jeff Brown]] had stolen the new [[Callisto Conch]] and used it to swap minds with [[Captain Waifuria]]. M.O.S.D.O.K. did not care about this and [[Jeff Brown]] eventually swapped their minds back out of boredom.

== Callistoids ==
M.O.S.D.O.K. eventually relocated to [[Callisto]], where he and [[Jeff Brown]] began synthesizing large quantities of Callisto Conches. The purpose of this activity was unknown; however, Callisto Conches with special notes inside of them began washing up on Beaches across the Omniverse. Often, these notes read 'Will you Marry me? - Signed, your true love' or something to that effect. The Waifurian Empire saw a 500% uptick in marriages in the following decades, much to Jeff Brown's chagrin. However, MOSDOK pleasured at the pleasure of others, and this was Grand.

M.O.S.D.O.K. and [[Jeff Brown]] were engaged in 4001 AB and birthed two children, [[Patrick Brown]] and [[Sandy Brown]]. This was grand, and they all lived in Bikini Bottom together, running a Conch factory on Callisto and generally having a swell time. However, eventually, J.F. Sweets transplanted a Foul Burger joint- dubbed the 'J.F. Krab' on Callisto- driving all business to the Satellite's northern hemisphere and forcing M.O.S.D.O.K. and Jeff Brown to shutter Callistoidal Business for good. This was disgrandoidal, and sent Jeff Brown spiralling, eventually leading to him contacting his Titanian Spermsummon, [[Ses|Sess.]] Ses' presence disrupted the stability of the family, as Ses did not take after MOSDOK much, leading to the happy couple eventually filing for divorce.

MOSDOK was heavily involved in the construction of Callisto Conch Cannons during the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Great META War 3]], and played a critical role as an arms supplier for the [[Earthlean Resistance]] during the 999,900s. He was executed in 999,994 AB on [[Exegar]] by his estranged and sexually confused stepchild, [[Ses]].
[[Category:Characters]]

Biden Incident

2026-04-18T02:50:41Z

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[[File:Biden incident.jpg|thumb|Joe Biden's Legumish Corpse, imbued with wicked energies from the [[Aubergine]].]]
The Biden Incident was the climactic finale of the Rick Hernia Omniverse.

== Hunter's Hunt ==
[[Hunter Biden]] had been searching for his father, off and on again, for nearly 900 thousand years, after [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]]'s [[Joe Biden (Legumish Incarnate)|Legumish Incarnate]] destroyed his cloning facility and left his plans for an army in ruins.

== Premonitions ==
[[Rick Hernia]] woke violently from his slumber late one evening to a horrendous noise, as if trillions of voices were screaming out in agony. The sound was, unbeknownst to Rick, the sound of all of the souls in the Omniverse being silenced at once (an event which would soon occur). Rick was deeply disturbed by this experience, and meditated on the matter. He felt the Legume's presence in his room. But the [[Legume]] felt... different. It was weaker, and the Legume's power seemed to be dwindling. Rick sensed dark forces at play.

== The Omniversal Rot ==
Rick traveled to [[Berrand]] to confront [[Hunter Biden]] about the Matter. The two had become bitter rivals, and Hunter had warned Rick that the next time he stepped foot on Berrand, he'd be shot to death.

When Rick stepped foot off of his [[Gleryate]] Cruiser, however, no such attack came. In fact, Hunter and several guards ran towards Rick, in a panicked state.

Hunter and Rick exchanged pleasantries (a first) and Hunter beckoned Rick inside. He showed Rick a map of the Omniverse. All across the outer edges of the Omniverse, stars were getting dimmer. The Omniverse was getting colder too- faster than usual. Hunter explained that the Omniverse was quite literally rotting, from the centers of protons and neurons outwards. It was slowly turning to dust.

The highest concentration of Omniversal Rot was approximately 150 million light years away from them, on the planet [[Exegar]], which Hunter explained had recently appeared out of seemingly thin air, right in the Berrand System. Rick and Hunter boarded Hunter's personal cruiser and headed off towards the mysterious planet.

Hunter and Rick arrived on the dark planet in the middle of a raging sandstorm. Hunter made several Slavelings (descendants of the Dutt Kroasians he had kidnapped nearly a million years ago) drape a cloth around him and Rick as they approached a mysterious glowing mountain.
[[File:Imagebidentotter.jpg|thumb|The Rotter’s Auberginish Energies]]

== Bidenkeep ==
The Slavelings were disintegrated instantly by the intense Legumish and Aeonic energies emitting from the mountain. Hunter and Rick ventured forward alone through the darkness. Eventually, through the violent winds around him, Hunter heard a faint whisper... "Son?"

Hunter and Rick climbed up the craggly mountainside. Along the way, they met several mysterious cloaked figures. These were last members of Waifurian Empire offshoot organization [[the Enclave]]; dedicated forever to the upholding the '[[Employers|Employer]]-chosen' [[Waifurian Empire]] and its once great ruler.

When Hunter and Rick reached the peak of the summit, they found themselves at the mouth of a large chasm. This was the Bidenkeep. Adorning the walls of the cavern were large murals, depicting various artworks from the course of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]]'s life. There were images of Biden's rice patty in Mesopotamia, his throne room in Constantinople, and meetings in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid. But there were more sinister images too; Biden's Absorption of the [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Great MAGA King]], his Mindrotten genocide on [[Shallberry Grannlope|Shellberry Grannlope]], and Biden's death at the hands of [[Marvin Fluxton]].

Rick and Hunter came to a large opening, where the murals stopped. Around the room were various machines and structures from across the Omniverse's history; a shrapnel piece of [[Waifuria Prime]], the $5 Chalupa Box itself, and [[Keith Cumshoes]]' mummified head (which appalled Rick Hernia deeply).

In the center of the room was a dark, shrouded figure. This was, of course, [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|the Mummy]], in all of his Rotten Grandeur.

== The Curse of The Mummy ==
Joe Biden was still alive. His Legumish essence was waning, and [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|the Great MAGA King]]'s fresh corpse lay beside him, as preserved as it had been the day he consumed him in the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]]. Trump's Aeonic energy had been totally drained.

Biden's corpse was thin and weak, and his body was clearly degenerating rapidly. It was translucent, as well, as this body was comprised of Biden's soul and nothing more. Biden watched Rick and Hunter approach him, with cold, dead eyes.

"Folks... today... himbersnatch...", Biden mumbled, his eyes rolling back in his head.

Biden raised his rotting hands to the sky and, almost as if on cue, a great bolt of purple lightning struck [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|the Mummy]], imbuing him with horrid energy.

== The Final Blunder ==
Joe Biden's endless, mindrotten quest for power had led him to start seeping energy from the Omniverse itself, like a parasite that just wouldn't die (even though he did, twice). He was sucking energy from individual particles, which was having an exponential effect of decay on the Omniverse. [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]] was directly responsible for the Omniverse beginning to collapse, as [[Hunter Biden|Hunter]] had observed.

Biden had expended every major energy source in the Omniverse- except for the [[Aubergine]], which had been locked away from him by [[Francis Merrigold|Francis]] and the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]]. However, the Legume's power had fluctuated for a split second- a microsecond, in fact, but this had been enough time for Biden to draw on its power and absorb its essence. Joe Biden rose from his throne, floating in the air.

"I AM... THE WENDIGO!", Biden screamed with the full force of a Greybeard in his prime. [[Rick Hernia|Rick]] and [[Hunter Biden|Hunter]] were blown back against the chamber wall.

[[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]] floated over to Hunter. Biden raised his arms once again to the sky. "FOLKS, I PLEDGE to... chocolate chocolate chip!", Biden shrieked, his skin beginning to be set ablaze. The [[Aubergine]] was taking over Biden's feeble mind.

Hunter drew his Bidensaber, and Rick stood back and concentrated with all his might on the [[Legume]]'s essence. He materialized a Starmetal replica of the [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Great MAGA King]]'s Borderblade. The two stood facing the hideous Aubergine Incarnate.
[[File:Imagebidenrot2.jpg|thumb|Finally, the Mummy’s Rot totally set in, revealing itself in magnificent display as the Biden Incident began.]]

== Fateful Battle ==
The [[Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster]] was a spatial anomaly. Every object and being which had been consumed by the Black Holes existed just outside of the finite Omniverse, in the Outervoid. Biden tore a hole to the Outervoid over [[Exegar]], and began hurling various timefractured entities and objects at Rick and Hunter. These included human bodies, couches, lamps, vehicles, and several trees. Rick and Hunter cut through this onslaught, and pushed forward into Biden's whirlwind of carnage.

"Father. I will not fight you." Hunter's words echoed through the chamber. Biden suddenly stopped. The various objects spiraling around him froze. The purple glow faded from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, son. I'm so... I'm so so sorry... f-for everything... it's too late now... you need to.. go... go... GO!" On the last word, Biden's entire body was engulfed with purple flame and he screamed a horrible shriek.

Biden concentrated a ray of pure antimatter at Hunter and Rick. While Rick and Hunter were able to deflect the beam for some time, it was cutting into both of their blades. They both realized that only one of them was going to escape. Hunter turned to Rick. "Buddy, we both know who the good guy is here... jack. And it's not me."

Hunter summoned a portal, just as he had done all those years ago to defeat Rick, only now, he was doing it to save him. He pushed Rick Hernia into it, sending him to the wreckage of [[Waifuria Prime]] on [[Ghetsin 3]].

Joe Biden concentrated all of his power on Hunter Biden, slowly tearing Hunter's Legumish energy and stealing it as his own. Joe Biden pulled Hunter towards him, absorbing Hunter into his flaming Aubergine Incarnate- and now, the Father, Son, and Wretched Spirit were one.

== One Last Nudge ==
The Employers, who had been watching all this with bated breath, finally decided to interfere, personally. The Omniverse was on the brink of collapse. They entered the Bidenkeep and ripped Hunter Biden's soul from the wretched Mummy. They then began absorbing the immense power which Biden had absorbed over the Eons. As they did this, however, they realized their efforts were to no avail- the Omniverse was still crumbling, faster. The Legume's energy had been totally depleted. The Omniverse was over. This was the [[The Final Moment|Final Moment]].

== Final Moment ==
Rick Hernia sat under the starry night skies of [[Ghetsin 3]], fixated on the dimming cosmos. The stars he'd known his whole life- the stars he'd worked so hard to protect- were finally going out.

But at least it was peaceful, the end of the Omniverse.

It wasn't a fiery explosion, killing all of the innocents of the stars.

And it wasn't a sad, lonely heat death, a hopeless fight against the neverending march of time and darkness.

It wasn't the right time, no...

But when can the time be right, anyways?

There's never a good time to say goodbye.

Alas, goodbye always follows where hello goes.

Goodbye, Rick.
[[Category:Events]]

The Wedding

2026-04-18T02:50:09Z

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[[File:The Wedding.png|thumb|The Wedding]]
The Wedding was a supremely rotted, horrendously contrived event that occurred in 999,989 AB on Christmas Day, 10 years before the Final Moment. The event marked the culmination of billions of years of intergalactic tensions resolving in one grand and glorious, mask-off technofascist escapade, where [[Neo-Aeternia|Neo-Aeternian]] God Emperor [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Donald J. Trump]], at the behest of [[Corporatus]], the Capitalism Incarnate, agreed to meet with rival Omniversal Superpower & [[Aubergine|Auberginish]] Essencehold [[Joe Biden]] for a special summit at the Bidenkeep to discuss the ongoing [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Great META War 3]], and specifically Neo-Aeternia's longstanding policy of neutrality in the conflict. This was the first meeting of the two men since the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]], nearly one million years prior. When they met, they shook hands and shared a laugh like old friends, before turning and posing to the cameras.

"It's been a heck of a long time, Jack," Mummy was quoted as saying, "It's great to see you, pal."

"Such a beautiful venue," the MAGA King was alleged to have replied, "So beautiful in terms of gold and purple."

A grand GALA (Gay And Lame Attraction) was held in honour of the Neo-Aeternian Delegation's arrival, even as explosions rocked the skies overhead. This GALA was emceed by [[Ellis]], who played Marimba. Grand festivities were had and luxurious [[Berrand|Berrandese]] Slave-Labor wines were produced, shared among the Americans and Enclave alike. Great discussion was had, and it was determined through unanimous consensus that the two groups, once opposed to devoutly to one another, had much more in common than was previously determined. In order to guarantee the stability of the Omniversal economic system, and protection from the radical bloodthirsty terrorism of [[Rick Hernia]] & the [[Worlds Without Boundaries]] organization, the two governments determined an alliance should be made. But not just any alliance, no- this was a union, a holy matrimonous declaration of commitment. And Mike Pence be damned, a great and glorious detail was finally revealed; the most artfully concealed thread of Omniversal Fate of All; that these two men, once presented as wholly oppositional to each other, were in fact one in the very same; brainrotted together, dementia-ridden together, and leading the largest governments remaining Omniversewide, were Soul Tethered. And so a marriage event was held, and Joseph R. Biden, The Mummy, was married to Donald J. Trump, the Maga King, and upon their first kiss, a purple shadow cast over the ballroom, and the fate of the Omniverse grew darker.

For the remainder of the war, Neo-Aeternia provided military support to the Enclave; that is, until the collapse of Neo-Aeternia, at which point Donald Trump and the Magarrian Gard were taken into Enclavish protection on [[Exegar]] and began contributing their individual powernesses to the Rotten, Mummonic cause.

[[Category:Events]]

Auditor

2026-04-18T02:49:57Z

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Corporatus

2026-04-18T02:49:25Z

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[[File:Corporatus Prime.png|thumb|455x455px|Corporatus Prime, the final form of Corporatus' many enhancements and design alterations. He believed this form rendered him the ultimate incarnation of Capital, the true master around which his very existence was designed. ]]
[[File:Corporatus.jpg|thumb|Corporatus before his upgrades, in 999,950 AB. ]]
[[File:Corporatus4.png|thumb|Corporatonia]]
[[Corporatus]] was the Chief Executive Artificial Intelligence (CEAI) of the OmniStar Corporation. He was a market-fused uberentity comprised of the neuronic hivemind of the [[OmniStar Corporation]]'s various supercomputers located across 532 individual galaxies, as well as several cookies left behind on the Garrynet from [[Garrymede]]. He was the vile incarnate of the intergalactic gigaconglomerate, and took control of the business (himself being and becoming the business) after the unfortunate dissappearance of company founder R.R.R.R. on [[Exegar]] in 999,950 AB.

When the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Third Great META Wa]]<nowiki/>r broke out in 999,959 AB, [[Corporatus]] was faced with a quandary of financial instability; it could A) use its massive cash reserves to provide weapons to the innocents of the Omniverse to defend themselves against [[the Enclave]], (reducing the company's buying power) or, B), continue to sell weapons of war to the Enclave (increasing the company's buying power and staying on the good side of this massive intergalactic invasion force). Corporatus allied with [[the Enclave]], and became a massive benefactor for the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]] in his quest to rule the Omniverse once again.

Corporatus fashioned itself a metallurgic neutrino-steel body, and in this form became the face of corporate greed and corruption in the Omniverse. It built massive, AI-powered fortifications for itself and constructed Earth 3 as a gigantic, Falseworld military base. Indeed, the OmniStar Corporation was the primary arms provider to the intergalactic terrorist sect commanded by former Emperor [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joseph Robinette Biden Jr]], the Waifurian [[The Enclave|Enclave]], and provided 99.9999% of all munitions.

By 999,980 AB, the OmniStar Corporation had absorbed 98% of all businesses which existed. This was approximately 422.3 trillion businesses, with a total net worth of 52 untrigintillion dollars (USD).
[[File:ImageCorporatus hive.png|thumb|Corporatus' main Node Forme, located in an undisclosed military faciltity on [[Earth 3]]. ]]
His wife, [[Euvalene]], was himself.

[[Category:Characters]]

Great META War 3 (The Grand War)

2026-04-18T02:49:10Z

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[[File:GreatMETAWar3.png|thumb|478x478px|The Great META War 3]]

====== Not to be confused with the First [[The great META war|Great META War]] or the [[Great META War 2|Second Great META War]] ======
The Third and Final Great META War was an Omniverse-wide military conflict waged for forty years, from 999,959 AB to 999,999 AB. It was the final large-scale war in Omniversal History and saw the long-dormant [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]'s awesome revival at the hands of the [[Exegar]]-based [[The Enclave|Enclave.]] The two sides in this war were the [[OmniStar Corporation|OmniStar Corp]]-backed Waifurian [[the Enclave|Enclave]] versus pretty much the entire rest of the Omniverse.
== Important Battles ==

=== Siege of Ecoria, Kragdrysil ===
The first battle of the Third Great META War was the [[Siege of Ecoria]], in which [[The Enclave|Enclave]] naval forces ambushed a legion of Worlds Without Boundaries Peace and Terrorism Patrol troops in orbit of the erratic planetoid (and former moon of [[Inhersloht]]) [[Kragdrysil]].

=== Battle of Backpacker's Lookout, Orra 20 ===
The Battle of [[Backpacker's Lookout]] was a [[Worlds Without Boundaries|WWB]]-backed civilian rebellion against [[OmniStar Corporation|OmniStar]] synthezoidal Chalkrangers in the colonial settlement of Backpacker's Lookout on [[Orra 20]]. The battle was the first formal engagement of the OmniStar corporation in the third great META War.

=== Blampistian Gigasiege, BLAMPIST-1 System ===
The [[Blampistian Gigasiege]] was the Enclave's invasion of the BLAMPIST-1 System. The battle begin in 999,978 AB after an [[OmniStar Corporation|OmniStar]] 'Peace Drone' was shot down by [[Preomordikat Family|Hars]] defense systems on [[BLAMPIST-1 G]]. This 'Peace Drone' had been allegedly sent by [[Corporatus]] to 'Investigate Prospective Markets' among the Vardonnens on BLAMPIST-1 G. This action alerted the [[The Enclave|Enclave]] to a previously unknown Hars presence on the planet, and, percievably, a hostile one. A full scale invasion was launched against the BLAMPIST-1 system, with the intention of wiping out dissent and subjugating one of the Omniverse's most populous and influencial systems under Enclave control.

OmniStar Corporation

2026-04-18T02:49:00Z

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[[File:Omnistar.jpg|thumb|The banner of the OmniStar Corporation, by 999,970 AB, waived over 63% of solar systems in the Omniverse. ]]
The OmniStar Corporation was a massive gigaconglomerate owned and operated by quadrillionaire [[R. R. R. R.|R.R.R.R.]] Launching in the early 999,920's, the company rose to meteoric financial success, going from a single antique shop in [[New Memphis]] to a galaxy-spanning real estate giant which owned entire planets and solar systems. At the time of R.R.R.R.'s mysterious dissapearance on [[Exegar]] in 999,955 AB, the company was the largest in Omniversal History and had a solid gold net worth approximately the weight of a small moon.

== Sentience ==
After the dissapearance of its founder, the OmniStar Corporation floundered for several minutes, before the vast network of OmniStar Garrynet modules receiving and relaying the company's data gained sentience.

Acting as a massive brain, with supercomputers acting as individual neurons, the OmniStar Corporation became a conscious, self-reliant entity, drawing on various databases stored across the Garrynet to comprise for itself a synthetic body--with a face fashioned after the giant visage of the once-great planetoid [[Garrymede]]. OmniStar deemed this vessel '[[Corporatus]]' and connected it wirelessly to its vast supercomputer system, instantly creating the most intelligent and all-knowing sentient ever to exist, apart from the actual Gods. Corporatus served as CEAI (Chief Executive Artificial Intelligence) of itself for the next four decades.

When the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Third Great META Wa]]<nowiki/>r broke out in 999,959 AB, [[Corporatus]] was faced with a quandary of financial instability; it could A) use its massive cash reserves to provide weapons to the innocents of the Omniverse to defend themselves against [[the Enclave]], (reducing the company's buying power) or, B), continue to sell Earthly and [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] weapons of war to the Enclave (increasing the company's buying power and staying on the good side of this massive intergalactic invasion force). Corporatus allied with [[the Enclave]], and became a massive benefactor for the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]] in his quest to rule the Omniverse once again.
[[Category:Civilizations]]

The Bakery

2026-04-18T02:48:46Z

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[[File:Biden.png|thumb|The Bakery, in its terrible Glory. ]]
[[File:Mummybabies.png|thumb|Several fetal synthetically-enhanced clones of The Mummy. ]]
The Bakery was a high-tech underground research laboratory located above the [[The Enclave|Enclave]]'s Bidenkeep on [[Exegar]]. The Bakery was the site of numerous war crimes and human rights violations, most of which were performed at the hands of the horrendous Enclave Director of Scientific Affairs (and Mummy's right-hand cyborg) [[Ellis]]. The most prominent purpose of the Bakery was the creation of a wretched synthetically-enhanced Clone Army of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Bidens]], who were deployed by the New Waifurian Order in 999,955 AB, with the onset of the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|3rd Great META War]]. The Joe Bidens possessed many rotten powers; including but not limited to SuperSniffing Abilities, (sucking of opponents inward through inhalation), Ice Cream Spiderwebs, and Blinding Blonde Leg Hair. The Bidens comprised roughly 1/3 of the Enclave's invasion fleets. The Enclave Bidenclones beseeched the Galaxy to sympathize with their cause by bombing civilian centers and funnelling money into puppet governments on planets across the Omniverse.
[[Category:Locations]]

Planets: Disambiguation

2026-04-18T02:48:08Z

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{{DISPLAYTITLE:Planets (Disambiguation)}}
[[File:Imageee.png|thumb|342x342px]]This is the Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki's disambiguation for the various planets and similar celestial objects of the Omniverse. They are listed according to their system of origin.

== Sol ==

==== [[Sol (The Sun)|SOL]] ====
[[File:Earthpity.png|thumb]]

=== Inner Rim ===

==== [[Mercury]] ====

==== [[Venus]] ====

==== [[Old Earth|Earth]] ====
[[Earth's Moon|Luna]]

==== [[Mars]] ====
[[File:Juptier.png|thumb]]

=== Outer Rim ===

==== [[Jupiter]] ====
[[Ganymede]]

[[Io]]

[[Callisto]]

[[Europa]]

==== [[Saturn]] ====

==== [[Uranus]] ====

==== [[Neptune]] ====
[[Triton]]

=== Kuiper Belt ===

==== [[Pluto (Planet)|Pluto]] ====

==== [[Makemake]] ====

==== [[Nibiru]][[Triton| ]] ====

==== [[Haumea]] ====

==== Ghetsin-Todd ====

==== [[Ghetsin Alpha|GHETSIN ALPHA]] / [[Todd|TODD]] ====

==== [[Ghetsin 1]] ====

==== [[Ghetsin 2]] ====

==== [[Ghetsin 3]] ====

==== [[Waifuria Prime]] ====

[[File:Dutt.jpg|thumb]]

== Kroasis ==

==== [[Nex Kroasis]] ====

==== [[Dutt Kroasis]] ====

==== [[Hagg Kroasis]] ====

==== [[Huddigar Kroasis]] ====

[[File:Ob.jpg|thumb]]

== Berrand ==

==== [[Ob]] ====

==== [[Berrand]] ====

==== [[Exegar]] ====

== Garraxia ==

==== [[Garraxia]] ====

==== [[Matta'a]] ====

== Proxima Centauri ==

==== [[Shallberry Grannlope]] ====
Proxima Centauri d

Proxima Centauri c (Disputed)

== Inhersloht ==

==== [[Inhersloht]] ====

==== [[Kragdrysil]] ====

==== [[Noxia]] ====

[[File:Amoris.png|thumb]]

== Amoris ==

==== [[Amoris]] ====

[[File:Querria.png|thumb]]

== Querria ==

==== [[Querria]] ====

[[File:Vilmar.png|thumb]]

== Vilmar ==

==== [[Vilmar]] ====

[[File:Zerrion.png|thumb]]

== Zerrion ==

==== [[Zerrion]] ====

[[File:Vim.png|thumb]]

== Vim ==

==== [[Vim]] ====

[[File:Jyykis.png|thumb]]

== Udumaykis ==

==== Udumaykis ====

==== [[Jyykis]] ====

==== Haggfrys ====

== Gamma Cephei ==

==== Gamma Cephei I ====

[[File:Gryphis.png|thumb]]

== Gryphis ==

==== [[Gryphis Prime]] ====

== Kepler-62 ==

==== Kepler-62b ====

==== Kepler-62c ====

==== Kepler-62d ====

==== Kepler-62e ====

==== [[Kockordia|Kepler-62f (Kockordia)]] ====

== Rogue Planets ==

==== [[Discorthia]] ====

== Other Celestial Bodies ==

==== [[Restaurant at the end of the Omniverse|Restaurant at the End of the Omniverse]] ====

==== [[Xen]] ====
__INDEX__

Exegar

2026-04-18T02:47:15Z

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{{DISPLAYTITLE:Exegar}}
[[File:Exegar.png|thumb|392x392px|Exegar]]
Exegar was a dark, humid desert planet located in the outer edges of the [[Berrand]] System. Exegar was [[The Enclave|the Waifurian Enclave]]'s chosen homeworld, where they dwelled for 600,000 years before launching a surprise attack on the entire Omniverse in 999,959 AB, beginning the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|third and final Great META War]].

{{DEFAULTSORT:Exegar}}
[[Category:Planets]]
[[Category:Locations]]

Five Warden

2026-04-15T12:44:55Z

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[[File:Five Warden Holding 5.png|thumb|358x358px|Five Warden and his distant associate, [[G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)]]]]
{{Character|name=Five Warden|aliases=Charles|relatives=Charl Marx (Descendant)|affiliation=Warshippers, Gleryate|occupation=Prophet|birthDate=55,555,555 BB|birthPlace=BLAMPIST-1 G|deathDate=999,999 AB|deathPlace=Exegar|species=Fivemen|gender=Maleoid|height=5'5|weight=55 km|eyes=Five}}
Cha'ril Vardonna, otherwise known in close circles as 'Charles', was an immortal ancestor of [[Charl Marx]]. Born to first humash [[Mada]] and [[Evan]] on [[BLAMPIST-1 G]], he was the original [[The Warshippers|Warshipper]] and was a [[Gleryate]] Star Prophet, revered for his Fivish Predictionariums (of which the [[Febrariums]] were one). The Five Warden was warshipped across the Omniverse and was a significant figure in numerous cultures, known by different names. [[Ghetsin 5]] was entirely terraformed into a planet-sizes shrine to his splendor. The Five Warden preferred to keep a low profile, spending much of his time incognito in the [[Temple of Rannjoe]], disguised as a simple warshipper. However, when his Fivishness was needed, in a most desperate hour, he was known to occassionally make an appearance.
[[File:ImageAaa.png|thumb|American Patriots showing their support of the [[Five Warden]] and [[Millings|Charles Johnson]]. ]]
[[Category:Characters]]

File:Five Warden Holding 5.png

2026-04-15T12:44:35Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Five Warden

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2026-04-15T09:09:22Z

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Phovus

2026-04-15T08:55:13Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:PhovusPortrait.png|thumb|(Portrait of Director Phovus following his cybernetic reconstruction after the [[Battle of Ganymede]])]]
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Director Phovus}}
{{Character|name=Phovus|aliases=Last Son of Khoria

The Grand Usurper|affiliation=Combine Empire

Waifurian Empire

Himself|occupation=Commander in the Combine Armed Forces

Director of Tactical Operations

Director of Combine Scientific Endeavors

Director of the Black Mesa Research Facility

Director of the Waifurian Science Institute

High Chairman of the Imperial Ministry of Science and Progress|birthPlace=Khoria|deathDate=20,030 AB|deathPlace=Memphis, Tennessee|relatives=Daniel Sproule - Spouse

The Employers - Nemesis|marital=Daniel Sproule|eyes=Red|species=Khorian|gender=Male|height=7'9, 8'8 after cybernetics|birthDate=Unknown|weight=279 lbs}}

Phovus was a Khorian soldier and scientist who had the rare distinction of working for both the [[Combine]] and [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian Empires]]. He was a fierce rival to the Employers and ultimately doomed the Omniverse through his own hubris.

== Early Life ==
Not much is known of Phovus' early life, however it is known that he was incredibly competitive in academics, had a fondness for science and its utilities, and held a deep-seated love for his home planet and its people.

== Conscription and Training ==
Sometime before the Great META War, Phovus was conscripted as an officer into the Combine Imperial Army as part of the Combine Armament Initiative which was a mandatory conscription bill issued by the Combine Emperor Xos in order to prepare for the upcoming invasion of the Milky Way Galaxy. Even in the earliest stages of his training, Phovus’ prowess for tactical analysis shone through. He seemed to simply be naturally beyond the ability of his peers, which resulted in a great amount of admiration from his comrades, and a great amount of envy from his competitors. Seeing how quickly his skills had developed, Phovus’ superiors released him from the training early as they were eager to see his undeniable talent put to work.

== Early Military Career ==
Phovus was almost immediately assigned to the frontline against the emerging Tashiinan Empire, which had proved to be a difficult system to conquer, even for the likes of the Combine. Many of the commanders assigned to the front doubted Phovus’ ability to effectively defeat the Tashiinans, given their unbelievable power of sight-based telekinesis. Phovus, understanding the threat this posed to the Combine’s military operations, began to devise a strategy against his foe. He recalled something he had learned back in his days in the academies on Khoria, a particular strain of the Cholvesta virus on Haephlys, one of the 47 moons of the planet Vilmar. Phovus arranged for a secretive transport to the moon in order to collect samples of the virus. After a several-month-long trip to and from Haephlys, Phovus redirected the samples to a small laboratory under his jurisdiction on the outskirts of the Tashiina system. In truth, the Cholvesta variant was infamous across the Andromeda Galaxy for inducing a several-month-long blindness in infected subjects. However, the task assigned to the scientists under Phovus’ jurisdiction was to render infected subjects ''permanently'' blind. Phovus’ intent for this strain was to unleash it via a modified variant of the Combine’s pre-existing orbital headcrab launchers onto the population of the Tashiinans, in an effort to render their telekinesis unusable. This strategy, when employed, proved absolutely overwhelming for the Tashiinans. What was, at the time, the worst front for the Combine had suddenly become a cakewalk and when the Combine's legions crashed through the front doors of the Tashiinan Palace and executed the Tashiinan royalty, every single Combine personnel from there to the Southern Belt Front knew that Phovus had earned them that victory. This undeniably successful effort earned him several promotions and more praise than he could have ever asked for. Phovus continued to easily blitz through the systems of the Milky Way, earning the Combine scores of inhabitable systems for their grand empire, and he himself only continued to grow in influence and power. Phovus was particularly aware of the importance he now held in the Combine’s operations, as he had conquered large sections of one of the Milky Way's galactic arms by now, so it came as a surprise to him when the message that he was being redeployed to just a single planet. “Earth?” He thought to himself. “What could one planet possibly have that could have slowed our advance this much?”

== Introduction to the Sol System ==
When Phovus exited his Combine Imperial Landing Shuttle after it had touched down onto the landing pad of Polus Base, he was rather irritated. An entire campaign sacrificed for one measly little planet? This had better prove worthy of his time. Somewhat surprising to Phovus was that the troops stationed here, who answered directly to General Grievous himself, were saluting him. Phovus knew his exploits across the Milky Way were well-known, but he had heard of the Kaleesh’s particular annoyance at anyone other than him being honored, especially among his own troops. Combined with the general’s exhibitions of great violence and miraculously limited patience, which were so famous that Phovus had heard of them long before he had ever been conscripted, he understood that these troop’s salutes may very well have been a display of their willingness to sacrifice themselves for him in and of themselves. Upon his arrival, one of the soldiers directed him towards the Combine Invasion Force Council’s board room. Phovus thanked the soldier, and went on his way.

== Enlistment to the CIFC ==
He entered the boardroom and was greeted with a sight that greatly confused him. Sitting around a table were General Grievous, who had been the one to summon him initially, as well as Admirals Amonger and Trench. A G-Man variant was present as well, although Phovus was not yet aware of which particular one this one was. “Take a seat, Commander.” Grievous beckoned, one of his cybernetic hands motioning Phovus forward. Phovus, albeit with some slight hesitation, complied with Grievous’ order. “I am certain you understand the importance of the individuals sharing this table with you currently, Commander. Do you know why I have summoned you?” questioned Grievous. “I am afraid not, General. But what I fear more is whatever our opponents possess that would require such a high concentration of military genius.” replied Phovus, attempting to appease Grievous’ ego. “I have heard of you and your accomplishments elsewhere in the galaxy, Commander. Your talents are wasted on the easily-conquered filth that reside in the Northern Belt.” Phovus took some offense from this. He had met plenty of capable opponents during the battles he participated in, and while they were no tactical geniuses, they were certainly more thoughtful than Grievous’ barbaric methods of simply utilizing sheer numbers. Concealing his agitation, Phovus spoke once more. “If these Earth people are really all that difficult to conquer that it requires the unified efforts of our empire's greatest military minds, then I suppose it would be worth sacrificing my previous efforts.” Perfect, Phovus thought to himself, allowing Grievous to believe he had convinced him into joining their little single-planet crusade would no doubt feed whatever pit the Kaleesh warlord had in his mind that fueled his infamous ego. “Excellent. I have personally selected you for the position of our Director of Tactical Operations.” Grievous spoke a very obvious twinge of joy in his voice. Suddenly, the G-Man variant spoke up for the first time since the meeting had begun. “You're forgetting a crucial element of the process, General.” “The vote is unnecessary, we need his assistance to crush the human scum under our feet!” Grievous retorted, very clearly upset at this interruption. “Just go along with it Grievous, any more breaks in protocol and Xos might have you relocated,” whispered Amonger, clearly just wanting the meeting to be over with. “Fine, but if we lose his involvement with this front, you'll have more to worry about than just Rick Hernia,” Grievous begrudgingly replied. The vote began shortly after. “Aye,” spoke Grievous, who was clearly growing more frustrated by the minute. “Aye,” the G-Man variant spoke with an unsettling calmness to his voice. “Nay,” muttered Admiral Trench, very clearly attempting to avoid Grievous’ burning gaze. The entire table then turned to Amonger, his body language revealing nothing about his preferences. Phovus was not particularly invested in the final result of Amonger's vote; all else failed, he would simply return to the North Belt to continue his campaign there. However, he did find enjoyment in watching Grievous squirm. Finally, Amonger cast his vote. “Nay,” the Inherslohtian calmly spoke. Before Amonger could even provide the reasoning he had prepared, Grievous yelled out “XOS DAMN IT!” and proceeded to flip the table over, nearly crushing Admiral Trench in the process. “ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! NOW!” yelled Grievous, who challenged Amonger in a game of fate to decide Phovus’ involvement. Thankfully for the bone structure of everyone in the room, Grievous won the game and Phovus’ position was secured.

== Formation of the Research Corps ==
Phovus’ involvement in the Combine’s operations were, to his surprise, much less involved than he had expected. He took on a largely advisory role, although the Combine had begun to make some advances, specifically with Grievous’ capturing of Southern Europe and Admiral Amonger’s ongoing bombing campaign of Southeast Asia. While this allotted more free time, Phovus found that it had highlighted a growing disinterest in continuing with his military career. It had been many many years since he had studied the scientific arts back on Khoria, and his time spent in the Sol System made it very evident that there had at one point been several ancient civilizations present. The presence of the artifacts, as well as a very serious case of homeworldsickness, ignited within the director a new calling…

Initially, Phovus wasn't entirely sure how to go about manifesting his desire to study the remnants of the long-lost civilizations that had once inhabited the system before, so he began to devise a way to conceal it as a military effort. He thought of Grievous, as the Kaleesh conqueror was all too easy to manipulate. Phovus’ own induction into the CIFC was proof of that. Better yet, Grievous of all people would be all too eager to let Phovus do as he pleased, considering he had fought tooth and nail to get him here. The only problem was that he would need some form of falsified products should the search turn up ultimately useless. Phovus figured that a setup of 3D Printers, a rather common commodity, should suffice in order to cover his trail. Eventually, he approached Grievous, seeking to have what was to him the opportunity of a lifetime. Summoning Grievous to his office, Phovus took a sip of his Numejian Blackwater Brew and waited for the General’s arrival. “I trust that you have requested my presence for an important reason, Director.” Grievous’ tone reflected a degree of annoyance. Not good, but certainly not unsalvageable, Phovus thought to himself. “I would not have called you directly if it weren't, General.” Phovus spoke with a noticeable amount of positivity, hoping that Grievous would pick up on it, as to ease the Kaleesh’s tension. “My personal guard has discovered a few artifacts of particular interest while following their scouting routes. Having a background in science myself, I noticed that some of these artifacts suggest that the ancient civilizations that inhabited this system may have held a great deal of power.” Grievous’ eyes seemed to light up a bit at the mention of power. Good, Phovus thought to himself, the General was playing into his plan even better than he had hoped. “Go on,” Grievous requested. Obliging, Phovus continued. “I believe with enough resources that I could uncover whatever secrets these ancient peoples were utilizing, and use them for ourselves.” “How much would you need, exactly?” Grievous questioned, that glimmer of the lust for power still shimmering in his eyes. Although hesitant, Phovus decided to try his luck given that Grievous already appeared to be caught hook, line, and sinker. “At least 7 research sites and all the scientists and other staff to man them, 5 army legions that will answer directly to me as well as the necessary accommodations for them, and two dozen well-armed transport ships for excavating, hauling, and defending the artifacts.” Phovus knew this request was absurd and was absolutely more than he needed to accomplish the task at hand, but if there was even a sliver of a chance that Grievous would accept, he had to try to take it. “And how much are these artifacts supposed to help us, Director? All these things you are asking for aren't exactly cheap.” Not the reaction I was hoping for, Phovus thought to himself, but not undoable. “I believe the consequences for our opponents, should we fully utilize the power these ancients have locked away, would be, well, Earth-shattering.” Phovus couldn't help but grin upon finishing his sentence, if there was any description that would secure Grievous’ support, that was it. Much to his delight, that same power-hungry glimmer in Grievous’ eye seemed to have grown even further. “Your demands shall be met Phovus, if what you say about these artifacts is true, we could very well reach the Galactic Core in a matter of months.” Phovus had to physically restrain himself from celebrating right then and there, but internally it was the happiest he had been since his promotion following the events in the Tashiin System. “You will not regret this decision, General. Be seeing you soon.” “And you as well, Director.” Now, Phovus thought, all he needed was a name. In the coming weeks, the 126th Legion AKA the “Research Corps” would be formed and, as requested, would answer to Phovus directly.

== Uncovery of the Nexus Core ==
Years went by, and Phovus had made himself quite comfortable in his position within the Combine’s efforts in the Sol System. Despite his successes in utilizing ancient Annunaki and Bordesian technology, the Combine had been on the backfoot for quite a few years at this point. Grievous’ advancements into Southern Europe were all but undone, and the death of Admiral Trench during the closing days of the Spanish Inquisition had dealt a very heavy toll to the Combine’s operations, with Admiral Amonger only just barely managing to guide Trench’s former troops alongside his own. Additionally, the Human forces were nearing City 9, which could prove to be disastrous if the city fell, and the Bombing of Columbus crippled the only planetary ally that the Combine had, that being the Separatist Republic of Ohio, taking the infamous fighter pilot known only as “Cipher<nowiki>''</nowiki> out of the war. All of this had greatly displeased Emperor Xos, and Grievous quickly became the subject of his frustrations. In turn, Grievous became far more commanding and ruthless than he had ever been before. Phovus in particular became a target of Grievous, as his involvement had not been the trump card that the Kaleesh had expected. Phovus was no stranger to naysayers, and had long since learned to ignore them, and as such continued to investigate the ancient remnants of the Sol System. This continued for a very long time, until one fateful call came across Phovus’ communicator. “Speak, Captain Sikalyon,” the Khorian spoke, his eagerness concealed by his seemingly-emotionless tone. “We've found something sir, I don't think I've seen anything quite like it before. Energy readings are going off the charts.” “Excellent find, Captain. Have the object transported to the research labs immediately.” Unbeknownst to either of them, Captain Sikalyon’s men had just found the Nexus Core, an ancient Bordesian artifact that held an immeasurable amount of power. When the reports came across his desk, Phovus couldn't believe what he was seeing. These energy readings were unlike anything he had ever seen before. Whatever this object was, Phovus knew instinctively that he had just come across something that could change the face of the Omniverse as they knew it. Phovus immediately redirected all the efforts of the 126th towards researching the Nexus Core. This decision ultimately came with a cost, however, as the 126th were no longer providing Bordesian technologies to the Combine, even the fake ones. This greatly angered General Grievous, who's growing irritation towards Phovus was beginning to reach a boiling point. Phovus sat in his office’s chair, gazing outside the window. Grievous would be a problem. “I can calm him down,” Phovus thought to himself. “He's always been malleable, I just need to think of the right wor-” Just then, the doors to his office slid open, the cold metal slicing through the air more crisp than usual. The mechanical whirring of cybernetic legs had already clued him in as to who now stood in his quarters, but Phovus knew who it was the minute the doors had opened. Noone outside of the CIFC members, and Captain Sikalyon, had the clearance to so much as gaze at that door. Turning his chair slowly, his gaze met Grievous’. Before he could speak, the Kaleesh’s tarnished voice rang out across the room. “I have noticed a significant decline in the amount of that technology you promised in the last few weeks, Director.” “I am afraid that is no longer the primary focus for myself and my compatrio-” Suddenly, one of Grievous’ mechanical arms shot out from underneath his cloak and snapped itself in a vice grip around Phovus’ throat. “Your ‘primary focus’ is not my problem, Phovus! You were given all this on the foundation of a charter that you have now forsaken!” Phovus was unable to respond, the steel claws of Grievous’ arm nearly choking the life out of him. He clawed at the cold yet rageful steel, attempting to release himself from the General's grasp. That wasn't going to work, he had to think of something else. “I am the sole reason you are even in this system, you traitor! Everything you have here belongs to m-” before Grievous could finish his sentence, he felt something metallic slide between the armored plating protecting his vital organs. In his rage, the General had not noticed that Phovus had drawn and placed a plasmacaster pistol against his organ casing. Grievous released Phovus, the latter of which began sputtering and coughing. As the air returned to his lungs, Phovus witnessed Grievous exit his room without a word. Clambering to his feet, Phovus knew he could not continue to prod Grievous, not without a backing Grievous couldn't simply massacre.

== The Birth of the NCRI ==
A few days had passed since the incident involving Grievous, and Phovus knew if he wanted to continue his work he would need more than what the 126th alone could provide. He met in secret with G-3301 and Admiral Amonger individually, seeking to utilize their position on the council to introduce a proposal that would strengthen his forces tenfold. Amonger needed hardly any convincing, he of all people knew that Grievous held far too much dominion over the Combine’s operations. Amonger, ever the strategist, saw the opportunity for the balance, or rather imbalance, of power within the council to be upset. He believed that Phovus’ growing power and influence could potentially be enough to ensure Grievous didn't simply threaten or Rock Paper Scissors his way through any final decisions, and thus his allegiance was secured. G-3301, however, proved a bit more difficult to convince. Grievous’ military campaigns proved costly and had largely resulted in failure, yes, but the kind of resources Phovus was asking for would almost certainly be too large of a nudge… that was, however, until Phovus’ rebuttal. Phovus knew Grievous’ failures were only growing more and more expensive by the day, and eventually, that money would dry up. It might take decades, but the Combine’s pockets were not bottomless. Suddenly, it hit him. Phovus now knew the one question that would shake the Combine Invasion Force’s economic specialist to his core.

“When the money dries up, do you wish to inform him on your own?”

G-3301 had not considered that before. He knew he was a direct product of The Auditor, yet, the G-Men were not immortal. Strong, yes, but not indestructible. He had, in fact, witnessed the slaying of his compatriots before. Could Grievous really achieve such a feat? G-3301 knew he could kill Grievous, he was not the strongest of his ilk, but certainly no mere cyborg could slay him. Another thought then raced through his head. His position. If such a magnificent display of power were to be witnessed, and it most certainly would, given Grievous’ importance in the 3rd Dimension, there would almost certainly be, well… consequences on behalf of The Auditor. G-3301 then realized, in order to continue to perform the tasks laid out before him, siding with Phovus was essential.

With the remaining members of the CIFC now in his clutches, Phovus called for an emergency meeting. The decision to further supply Phovus’ operations was a stunning landslide victory of 3-1. Grievous was now beyond livid, but he knew that he could not so much as lay a finger on Phovus, as he would undeniably be discharged and possibly set for execution if he took the Director's life. Grievous had been completely outsmarted and outmaneuvered by Phovus, and he knew it. It only made him even more angry.

== Funding Blunder ==
All was seemingly going well for Phovus, he had the CIFC in his pocket, save for Grievous who ultimately couldn't even come close to getting his vengeance, and the NCRI was accomplishing things that the 126th Research Corps. couldn't have hoped to achieve before the end of the war. Admiral Amonger, in combination with the security forces of the NCRI, far outnumbered the troops under Grievous’ command, ensuring any attempted attack against the triumvirate would be fruitless. Additionally, G-3301 provided the NCRI with a significant amount of funds to complete their work. Overall, Phovus was essentially the new head of the Combine's operations in the Sol System. This system would persist for about two dozen years, until a particular error would be made by the Combine’s higher-ups. Phovus’ soft coup of the Combine’s military structure in the Sol System had not gone unnoticed. At first no one of importance, except perhaps Grievous, seemed to care all that much as Phovus ran things significantly better than Grievous ever had. In fact, the Combine had actually gained ground since his ascension to the head of the CIFC. The stalemate in Asia that had persisted since the disappearance of Vong was broken and the Combine re-entered China, using it to open frontlines into Siberia and Central Asia. The fighting taking place outside of City 9 that had persisted for the past 4-5 decades ceased as the MTO was pushed back to the US-Mexico border. (Normally, the Combine’s forces would have continued into the US mainland, but the installations in, on, and around the newly-constructed “Great Wall of MAGA” commissioned by Donald Trump proved to be too much for the Combine to combat properly.) Despite this success, the extra funding being produced by G-3301 eventually caught the eye of the Combine Imperial Economic Commission, and it was discovered that G-3301 was embezzling large sums of cash towards the NCRI’s work. This caught the eye of G-4323, then only the Supreme Imperial Treasurer, who informed Emperor Xos of his findings. To say Xos was infuriated would be an understatement. Normally, such a transgression would result in the executions of both Phovus and G-3301, however their tactical importance to the Sol Front was undeniable. As a compromise, Xos simply cut the funding to the Sol Front down to 1/5th of what it had been. The effects of this were very quickly felt, as the NCRI failed to keep the security and scientific contractors on their payroll. Only those most loyal to Phovus remained in the organization, as just before the funding cuts it was suspected that a major breakthrough in the process of creating something capable of utilizing the Nexus Core’s raw power was soon approaching. Despite the loyalty of his subordinates in the NCRI, his grip on the CIFC very quickly slipped as neither G-3301 nor Admiral Amonger truly believed that Phovus could protect them from Grievous anymore. This belief was very quickly proved correct, as Grievous almost immediately claimed the power he had before, and subsequently cut Phovus’ funding even further believing he would find more enjoyment out of watching the Director lose everything than simply killing him. Phovus was, understandably, distraught at the events that had unfolded. The scientific breakthrough of the millennium was within his grasp, only to be ripped away by superiors too arrogant and too incompetent to even begin to understand the kind of work he was doing. The budget constraints imposed by the Imperial Government and Grievous resulted in a rate of progress lower than the 126th Legion produced. It could be eons before that breakthrough arrived. Phovus, in desperation, began to secretly sell Combine, Bordesian, and Annunaki technology to the Earth governments and the MTO in order to obtain more funds for the NCRI. The funds from these deals kept the NCRI afloat for now and even managed to push the development progress back above the 126th’s rate, but Phovus knew this method was unsustainable. Someone was going to find out eventually, and the consequences of his betrayal would almost certainly mean death.

== Employeric Intervention ==
Phovus spent weeks contemplating how to correct his scenario. He knew he had nowhere to run once the Combine inevitably found out about his selling of technology to the Earth governments, but he also couldn’t afford to cease selling them lest the NCRI completely collapse. He was completely and utterly stuck. He had worked tirelessly since the minute he arrived in this system to uncover the secrets of the ancient peoples that had inhabited it. Had it all been for nothing? Despair began to well up in him, and he began to accept that he would never uncover the secrets of the Nexus Core and witness the unfathomable power it contained. Just then a pyre of shadow and flame arose within his quarters, stunning the director. A being slowly began to take shape from the pillar of black flame, emanating an ominous red glow. Unbeknownst to Phovus at the time, he now stood before The Auditor himself. “Sounds like you’re in a bind, Phovus.” “That would be an understatement. And you are?” Phovus replied, only barely managing to contain his shock. “Call me The Auditor. Now, as for why I’m here, I have an idea that I think we can both benefit from.” This intrigued Phovus. Could this being truly assist him? “Go on.” “You see, the Combine are getting to be a bit of a thorn in my side. I have what you could call a sort of “vested interest” in Earth, and the hundreds of years of war and all that is becoming a bit of a problem.” “And how do I fall into this picture?” the director inquired, wondering what this entity before him could possibly have seen on Earth that could be considered worth an investment. “You can help me by taking this.” Manifesting between the two of them was a machine marked with lettering that spelled out “Improbability Drive” although to Phovus it did not seem all that particularly impressive. “What does it do?” “I’m glad you asked. You see, this baby right here has the ability to harness the full power of that little Bordesian artifact you’ve been working on for all this time.” This immediately piqued Phovus’ interest, although some small nagging part of him distrusted this deal. However, if what this “Auditor” had said were true, it could be his way out of this damnable situation. “You can have it on one condition.” “That being?” “You leave the Combine and join the humans.” This took Phovus back for a minute. He was certainly not enthusiastic about remaining allied with the Combine after the way he had been treated, he would leave them behind in an instant if he could, but what of Khoria? He would almost certainly never see his homeworld again, and his people would likely view him as a traitor for the rest of history. This decision weighed heavily on his mind. His home or his magnum opus? The Auditor grew ever more impatient, the director’s indecisiveness proving to be of great annoyance. Were this not so critical, he would have outsourced this to one of the G-Men. “Look man, I get it. Homeworld’s gonna view you as a bad guy forever. Big whoop. With this, you’ll have the ability to change the face of the Omniverse forever. Are you gonna let the opinion of one measly little planet stop you from impacting trillions more?” Phovus hated to admit it, but this “Auditor” had a point. The good he could do with this power far outweighed what his people’s opinion of him had on an omniversal scale. “Alright. I’ll do it.” “Wonderful. Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have an out for all those weapons you’ve been selling. One of my employees on the CIFC has found evidence that Admiral Amonger is the one behind the weapons deals. Three days from now there’ll be an emergency meeting. You two will have to convince the Kaleesh it’s Amonger behind the weapons deals. When that’s over, get the Nexus Core in the Improbability Drive and get your ass to Ganymede as soon as you can. I already have elements working with the Earth governments to ensure you and my gift’s safe transfer. Got that?” “Understood. I am forever in your debt.” “Don’t worry ‘bout it, just make sure those Combine asshats get pushed out of this system. Oh, and if you try to fuck me over, I’ll obliterate Khoria, the NCRI, and then you. In that order.” With that, The Auditor vanished. A strange blend of relief, anticipation, anxiousness, and ''familiarity'' washed over Phovus. Whatever happened next, he knew it could change the face of the Omniverse forever.

== Emergency Meeting ==
Three days following the meeting between Phovus and The Auditor, the Employer’s prediction came true. Phovus entered the CIFC’s boardroom knowing full well what was about to occur. While waiting, Phovus came to realize that G-3301 had to be the one under the service of The Auditor. He was perplexed by this, but before he could put any further thought to it, Grievous and G-3301 both entered the room. G-3301 was noticeably sweating, further confirming Phovus’ earlier realization. Grievous sat down in his chair at the head of the table, while G-3301 took the seat across from Phovus. Amonger was late, as he usually was to these meetings following the death of Admiral Trench. Speaking of Admiral Trench, Phovus only just now realized his chair was still present at the council table despite him having been dead for years now. Phovus shrugged this off and took the holopad sitting in front of him to view recent developments across the Combine Empire. Among the articles, he saw mention of Khoria having successfully propped up several colonies throughout its solar system. He felt a twinge of pain at the sight of this, but it quickly faded. He knew what had to be done. At least Khoria would continue to expand and develop, he thought to himself. The three sat there awkwardly for hours, the occasional cough from Grievous the only noise to fill the room. Eventually, Amonger arrived. He apologized for his tardiness and took his seat across the table from Grievous. Grievous reluctantly conducted the formal opening of the meeting and took his seat upon its completion. “So, 3301, I was told you had found something of interest?” the General inquired. “Y-yes, General. A report was filed to my office a few days ago. I want you to l-look at it.” As Grievous took the holopad from him, 3301 may as well have been sweating bullets. He was visibly uncomfortable with this whole meeting. Phovus wondered just what the hell The Auditor had done to him to have the usually calm and collected G-Man variant this raddled. Grievous scoured the holopad, taking particular care to absorb every last detail included in the document. Suddenly, a spark of burning anger lit up in his eyes. He immediately snapped his head to face Amonger. “So, Amonger, did you think your betrayal would not one day be exposed?” Amonger was visibly confused, surprisingly composed in the face of an angry Grievous. “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about General, what exactly are you accusing me of here?” “The weapons deals you’ve been making with the humans you imbecile!” Grievous shouted, the entire room shaking from his voice alone. “I assure you I have done no such thing, General.” The two went back and forth for what seemed like an eternity until Grievous singled out Phovus for his opinion on the matter. “I believe the evidence speaks for itself, General. Amonger is clearly a traitor to the Combine Empire and should be punished as such.” Amonger immediately took notice of this and accused Phovus in return. He pointed out how Phovus would be the most likely culprit, seeking to make up for his lost profits by the budgetary restrictions placed on him in order to continue his research into the Nexus Core and the further development of the NCRI. Grievous was taken aback by this, everything Amonger said made sense. Although he did not show it, Phovus was terrified. Everything he had worked for could be jeopardized now. It was then that G-3301, in a fit of anxiety and desperation, yelled out “Red Sus!” For whatever reason, this immediately swayed Grievous back towards blaming Amonger. Amonger was sentenced to death on the spot by Grievous, leading to the Admiral’s escape from Polus Base where he would disappear for thousands of years. With Amonger out of the way, Phovus directed the NCRI to begin making preparations for an emergency trip to Ganymede. All but Phovus’ most trusted officials were kept in the dark about the purpose of this trip. He had his most elite troops board his craft headed by his favorite subordinate, Captain Sikalyon. He gave explicit orders to his second in command, Colonel Gestalt, to inflict as much damage as possible to the Combine using what assets the NCRI had left. Finally, he fashioned himself a blade with the power of the Improbability Drive made of a new element he named Unobtanium. Unobtanium was essentially the perfect metal, dense and strong, but light enough to not require a great deal of strength to wield it. Phovus would dub this weapon the Binary Sword. With everything set in motion, Phovus boarded the shuttle set to Ganymede.

== Dissenters Be Damned ==
As Phovus boarded the transport cruiser, every soldier saluted him as he passed them. The Improbability Drive, now outfitted with the Nexus Core, was placed onboard the ship in the most secure container available to the NCRI. Phovus took his seat aboard the cruiser, sitting next to Captain Sikalyon. “You seem worried, sir,” Sikalyon commented. “It’s nothing, Captain,” Phovus replied, hoping his leg would stop bouncing out of anxiety. “I’m confident you will see us through this, sir.” Sikalyon’s words had hardly registered with Phovus initially, but they nonetheless eased him a bit. These men were relying on him. Dissenters they may be, the lot of them likely damned the minute they were to stand trial in one of the Earth people’s courts, but they needed him. He alone was responsible for where their fates would lie, a notion he did not take lightly. The starship sailed calmly through space, passing by the rings of Saturn on its voyage to Ganymede. Phovus stared at the planet’s rings for a moment. He had seen dozens of other planets like it, those with rings twice the size or even dual ring systems, but in that moment, it struck him as the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Phovus took a minute to rest, the sounds of the starships’ engines lulling him to sleep.

== The Polus Insurrection ==
Grievous was staring out the window of his office in Polus Base when a request to access his office came across his personal holopad. “Enter.” Grievous simply commanded. As the doors to his office slid open, a Combine foot soldier stumbled into the room, visibly injured. This immediately grabbed Grievous’ attention who inquired about what was going on. “It’s Colonel Gestalt, sir! He and the NCRI are in open rebellion against our forces! I only just barely got away, we have to-” Grievous angrily slammed his robotic hand against the soldier’s throat and lifted him off the ground, leaning in as close as he could. “Coward! Your failure will be the last mistake you ever make!” Grievous then snapped the soldier’s neck as he made his way towards the exit to his office. Grievous was almost entirely consumed with rage. He should have known Phovus would have organized something like this. The one thing that brought Grievous solace was the knowledge that he could finally strangle the life out of the Khorian as he had so desperately desired to for all these years. He marched his way directly to the NCRI’s sector of Polus, fully intent on obliterating every last one of Phovus’ lackeys. As he made it to the frontline, the Combine troops turned in awe at their general, his figure towering over each and every one of them. He effortlessly stood atop the dozens and dozens of storage crates the Combine troops had piled up as an impromptu cover, and stared across the battlefield, the combat having rendered Triton’s cratered surface even more damaged. A plasma round came flying directly at Grievous’ head, which he caught with minimal effort. He stared at the casing as the energy fizzled from it, and crushed it in the palm of his unfeeling durasteel hand. Turning his attention back to the frontline, Grievous drew two of his lightsabers and ignited them, leaping from the crates and sprinting at a blinding speed towards the NCRI-held trench. His first victim was not even granted the swift mercy of a lightsaber, instead meeting his end at the end of the razor-sharp claws that acted as Grievous’ feet. The fallen soldier’s comrades turned to face Grievous, but before the closest two could even fire, their heads were rendered from their shoulders. The rest of the soldiers stood in abject horror, which Grievous silently relished. Wasting no time, Grievous began to carve through the troops that remained in the trench, savoring the look of terror on the faces of each and every single one that he slaughtered. Grievous’ push had allowed the Combine troops to launch a counteroffensive, no doubt attracting the attention of Colonel Gestalt. Grievous knew of Gestalt, “The Combine’s Black Hand” he was known as, on account of the untold number of assassinations he had committed in the name of Emperor Xos. Grievous always hated the ones that hid, they were typically far more annoying than killing them was worth. As the Combine troops secured the trench, Grievous ordered the bodies of the NCRI troops to be piled upon one another, to which his troops obliged. Grievous scaled the pile, standing at its summit, and he called out to Gestalt. “Gestalt! I know you are the one behind this, and I know Phovus has put you up to it! Surrender now and I may yet spare you if you tell me where the Director has run off to!” “Mercy, General?” a disembodied voice responded. “You seriously expect me to be so foolish as to believe you capable of such a thing? Don’t make me laugh.” Just then a rocket launched, seemingly from thin air, as it crashed into the pile of bodies sending Grievous tumbling to the floor. Grievous quickly caught himself courtesy of his cybernetic appendages, but was unable to foresee Gestalt boosting directly towards him. Gestalt latched himself directly on top of Grievous, attempting to jam a knife into his eye. Grievous grabbed Gestalt and threw him off of himself, sending the assassin into the ground and kicking up a cloud of dust. Grievous immediately went to stomp at where Gestalt had been, being met with an ion mine instead, temporarily disabling his robotics. Grievous struggled with all of his might to move, but could not. Gestalt decloaked directly in front of him, taking an extending spear-like weapon from his homeworld and jamming it between Grievous’ chest plates, separating them and exposing his organ casing. Grievous knew this could very quickly turn against him if he didn’t act right now. Gestalt lined up his shoulder-mounted plasma cannon with Grievous’ chest, and began the firing sequence. Grievous struggled as hard as he could, but still his cybernetics refused to budge. However, just before the plasma cannon could fire, the ionic disruption timed out allowing Grievous to grab Gestalt’s plasma cannon and crush it. Gestalt attempted to slip past Grievous again, only to catch the general’s knee to his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Grievous ignited one of his remaining lightsabers, and impaled Gestalt with it. The fight now certainly over, Grievous lifted Gestalt by his neck. “Phovus! Where is he!? Now!” Gestalt simply smiled and spat in Grievous’ face. This angered the cyborg, who slammed Gestalt into the wall of the trench. “I will not ask again!” “You know, Grievous, I very seriously doubt you can get to him by now, so why not? Ganymede. He’s headed there. Not that you’ll ever see him again, you worm.” Grievous tore Gestalt’s head off in rage at his insult, and, taking a moment to ease his nerves, rounded up his finest troops onto a shuttle on course for Ganymede.

== The Battle of Ganymede ==
Phovus awoke as the shuttle touched down on the surface of Ganymede. His men immediately scurried out from the ship to meet with the MTO troops already present on the moon’s surface. Phovus himself, however, took a moment before exiting to contemplate his circumstances. He glanced at the Improbability Drive, almost second-guessing his decision to betray the Combine for a moment before reality settled back in. It didn’t matter now, he had made his decision. He walked down the ramp of the starship, stepping out onto the freezing, rocky, surface of Ganymede. His gaze met the MTO troops, their rifles raised at the NCRI soldiers meant to safeguard their transaction. “I assure you, gentlemen, those will not be necessary,” Phovus spoke, attempting to deescalate the situation. To the Earth people, there was no way for them to know this wasn’t some form of trap. Phovus was well-known as a very loyal member of the Combine’s invasion force, being responsible for many of their successes against Earth. “Show us the Drive, Phovus. Then we’ll decide if the guns are necessary,” one of the troopers, clearly an officer of some sort, called to him. Phovus took note of the katana sheathed on the soldier's hip. No doubt this was someone of importance to the MTO, only high-ranking individuals were granted them. “Very well,” Phovus replied calmly, as he motioned for Captain Sikalyon to offload the Improbability Drive from the ship. “I assume ''this'' will have earned your trust?” The MTO officer approached the Drive, and crouched down to observe it. After inspecting the device for about a minute, the soldier stood back up and motioned for his troops to lower their rifles and to begin loading the device onto their ship. Phovus approached the officer, and inquired about the transport of his men and himself. “We have another ship incoming to pick up you and your men, both ships will depart at the same time.” “I must object officer..., uh, what is your name?” “Commander Cumshoes, sir.” Phovus found this name odd, almost cringeworthy, but he wasn’t exactly in any position to complain. “Commander, it’s possible the Combine are already aware of my betrayal and are on their way here, no doubt with a significant force. They know they can’t afford for me to join your side.” “My apologies, but it’s standard protocol, sir. I’m no fan of it myself, but I don’t hold the authority to object. We’re just going to have to sit here until the secondary transport arriv-” just then, a massive laser blast crashed into Phovus’ ship, leaving only a crater and smoldering ash. A Combine dropship descended onto the surface of Ganymede, MTO and NCRI troopers alike raised their guns at the ship. “I knew we couldn’t trust him, that bastard was bait for us!” one of the MTO troops complained. Commander Cumshoes ordered the trooper to silence herself, but the idea had already been spouted. Several of the MTO troops turned their aim towards Phovus, and the NCRI troops turned their aim to the MTO. “Lower your weapons! Now!” Cumshoes ordered, but none of his troops obeyed. Phovus took initiative, and ordered his troops to stand down. “But sir, they’ll kill yo-” Sikalyon objected, before Phovus interrupted him. “Our only chance to escape this barren rock is with them. You open fire, and we will all die regardless of it being at their hands or the Combine’s.” Sikalyon was visibly distressed, before he repeated Phovus’ order. The NCRI troops lowered their guns, and the MTO did so in return now understanding that if Phovus were truly still with the Combine, he would not have put himself in a position where his only method of survival lay with those he would need to kill. “How disappointing.” a voice rang out over the intercom of the Combine dropship as it touched down on the surface of Ganymede. The ramp of the ship lowered, the dust from the surface obscuring the ship’s occupants. Faintly, through the dust, Phovus saw two familiar glows, one green and the other blue. If he wasn’t already certain of who’s presence the glows signified, the sound of heavy metal footsteps and a robotic wheezing confirmed it. General Grievous was here. “Hello there, Phovus. Pray tell, what exactly did you think was going to happen the minute the remnants of the NCRI began to attack my troops? Did you think I would not immediately notice your absence? Did you think I would not immediately come to find you?” Phovus remained silent, his heart was nearly beating through his chest. “Silence, as expected of a betrayer.” Dozens of Combine troops began to spill from the dropship, all brandishing the best equipment the Empire had to offer. No doubt, these were Grievous’ personal guard. “I am ensuring my own survival, General. You would be wise to do the same before the Empire deems you ‘no longer valuable’ as well.” “Did your survival necessitate the betrayal of Admiral Amonger, Phovus? And what of the troops you so willingly sacrificed purely to divert my resources?” Phovus’ hand tightened into a fist at his side. Grievous held no position worthy of judging him, he had sacrificed billions of Combine troops in his campaign against Earth alone. “Honorable martyrs, each and every last one of them. Their sacrifice shall enable me to see the filth of both you and the Combine Empire driven from this system and, Gods willing, from this galaxy.” Grievous clearly grew tired of discussion, the rage in his eyes visible from the distance Phovus was from him. “Enough of this drivel about righteousness! I have come to spill the blood of a traitor, and nothing more!” Upon finishing his sentence, Grievous lunged at Phovus who drew the Binary Sword from his back. As their blades locked, both sides opened fire on the other. Grievous was caught off guard by the Binary Sword being capable of resisting his lightsabers, Phovus saw the opportunity before him and sidestepped, allowing Grievous’ blades to slice into the ground. Phovus attempted to jab into Grievous’ side, hoping to slide the Binary Sword between the plates that made up the armor surrounding his organ casing. Grievous proved to be faster, however, and deflected the stab with one of his lightsabers. This sent Phovus stumbling backwards, allowing Grievous to take the upper hand in the fight. The cyborg repeatedly swung his lightsabers at Phovus, who only barely managed to block each attack. Grievous swung downward towards Phovus’ head, an attack the Khorian easily blocked. Unbeknownst to Phovus however, Grievous had allowed one of his lightsabers to slip his grasp, rebounding off the Binary Sword had sent it flying into the air. Almost faster than Phovus could react, Grievous caught the saber with one of his feet and scraped the blade across the surface of Ganymede, sending a cloud of dust flying at Phovus. His vision obscured, Phovus did not have enough time to react to Grievous’ next attack which dismembered his left hand, the dominant one, from the elbow down. Phovus let out a yell of pain, but did not have enough time to tend to his injury as Grievous swung again, this time aimed at his eyes. Phovus brought up the Binary Sword with his remaining hand to defend himself, narrowly avoiding having been blinded. As the adrenaline hit his system, Phovus began to find himself predicting Grievous’ attacks. He had not fought in many years, but found his old skills returning to him. Grievous took notice of this, he could not afford to keep this fight going much longer. Even if Phovus died here, the Earthlings would have the Improbability Drive; a failure not even he would be immune to the consequences of. Grievous’ sabers met the Binary Sword once more, and he decided to end the fight here and now. Letting one of his sabers slip from his hand, he split the lower half of the same limb to catch it and thrust the blade into Phovus’ side, sending him falling to the ground. “I have awaited this moment for so long, Director.” Grievous spoke, as he slammed his foot onto Phovus’ chest, the cyborg’s claws puncturing his flesh and crushing bone. Phovus coughed up blood, a sight Grievous took great pleasure in. Phovus weakly attempted to swing the Binary Sword at Grievous, the blade only softly clinking against the general’s metallic body. Grievous split his arm, and merely batted the sword away. “Pathetic.” Grievous said, as he aligned his lightsabers alongside Phovus’ neck. Expecting death, Phovus was instead met with light of a different kind. An explosion ruptured on Grievous’ back, sending the cyborg flying off of Phovus. His vision and hearing distorted, Phovus caught a glimpse of Captain Sikalyon, a rocket launcher in hand from which emanated smoke. Grievous had clearly seen him, as the cyborg was now rushing towards the Captain, blocking every bolt of laser and plasma sent his way. Phovus struggled to sit up, much less stand. He fell to the ground, and coughed up yet more blood. He could only lay there and watch as Grievous and Sikaylon fought, the Captain somehow holding off Grievous with his fists alone. Phovus could feel the life leaving him, but before his vision faded he saw the hazy visage of a man in a suit. The man brushed his coat, adjusted his tie, and told Phovus to “rise and shine.”

In an instant, Phovus’ strength was inexplicably renewed. He looked around for the man, but he was nowhere to be seen. That didn’t matter, though. He had something far more important to do. Seizing the Binary Sword, Phovus scanned the battle for Grievous. As his gaze finally met the Kaleesh warlord, he witnessed Captain Sikalyon be seized by the throat by Grievous and be impaled by one of his lightsabers. Enraged, Phovus charged toward Grievous. Impossibly, Phovus crossed several dozen feet in mere seconds. The Binary Sword, which had been dragged along the ground for the entire duration of Phovus’ charge, was lit ablaze by the friction. Grievous turned his head just in time for him to witness the loss of his right arm, the one that held Captain Sikalyon, up to the shoulder. Phovus stood before him armless, and his sword burning. Grievous saw in Phovus’ eyes a rage he had not seen in millennia. Phovus the scientist was a meek and quiet man Grievous could easily churn into paste were it not for the will of his superiors, but before him now stood Phovus the warrior, a force the Omniverse had not seen since his recruitment to the CIFC, the scourge of nearly every system in the Northern Belt of the Milky Way, now directed solely at him. For the first time since he could remember, Grievous felt not just fear, but true unadulterated terror. “I am not finished with you, yet. General.” Phovus spoke quietly and calmly, unnaturally so. Grievous stumbled back from Sikalyon, his head on a swivel to search for his ship. Phovus began to slowly approach him, and Grievous began to spin one of his lightsabers as a method of keeping the Khorian at bay while he searched. Phovus caught the blade mid-spin, stopping it. Phovus then moved his blade out from underneath Grievous’ lightsaber, and sliced the General’s upper left hand off from the wrist. Weaponless, Grievous sought to scurry away from the fight. In response, Phovus stabbed downward into one of Grievous’ legs, pinning him to the ground. Phovus walked to where he could face Grievous, and kneeled down to where he could be at eye level with him. Phovus seized Grievous’ face, ensuring he could not look away, and uttered one sentence: “Let yourself remember this moment. Wherever you crawl away to after this war ends, I promise you, if I ever cross paths with you again, I will not hesitate to kill you.” Phovus then released Grievous’ face, removed the Binary Sword from his leg, and moved back towards Sikalyon. Grievous immediately ordered the Combine to retreat back into the ship. An order his troops were more than willing to comply with, as despite their inferior numbers, both the MTO and NCRI troops had inflicted significant casualties to the Combine troops. Phovus knelt beside Sikaylon, who barely clinged to life. “I am sorry, my friend.” Phovus whispered, barely managing to fight back his tears. “No apologies necessary, sir. We all knew what this mission meant.” Phovus remained silent, unable to speak lest he be consumed by emotion. “But, promise me one thing, sir.” “Of course.” “Be sure you stop those Combine scum from ruining this galaxy, too.” “I promise.” Sikalyon smiled as life left him, and Phovus collapsed next to him out of exhaustion.

(Article in progress, soz)
[[Category:Characters]]
__INDEX__

Phovus

2026-04-15T08:55:01Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

File:PhovusPortrait.png

2026-04-15T08:54:39Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Image of Director Phovus (Phovus)

Rick Hernia

2026-04-15T08:50:07Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:1774767593719-019d3863-e089-739f-992f-caf1123f4904.png|thumb|481x481px|Rick Hernia at the battle of Rannjoe, during the 2nd Great META War. ]]
[[File:Rick Hernia Omniversal Incarnate.png|thumb|432x432px|Rick Hernia's Omniversal Incarnate, also known as his 'Super' Form.]]
{{Character|name=Richard Marcus Hernandez Hernia III|imagecaption=Rick Hernia's Omniscent form|aliases=Rick Hernia,

Rick,

Ricky,

Richard,

The Based God,

Guardian Of The Cum Sta$h,|relatives=Unnamed Mother,

Unnamed Father,

Dr. Phil (Possible Uncle),

Riley Reid (Possible Cousin)

Vero Buge|affiliation=M.T.O Cadets (Formerly),

M.T.O Special Combined Forces Unit (Honourably Discharged),

M.T.O Veterans Club ,

Rick Hernia's Cum Cult

Legume|occupation=Commander of M.T.O.

Musician

God of Men|marital=A$AP KIDNEY $TONE: 199 B.B. - Final Moment (Never Anulled)|birthDate=February 10th 200 B.B.|birthPlace=Ghetsin 4|deathDate=Final Moment|deathPlace=Wreckage of Waifuria Prime|species=Tier 3 Metaphysical Being|gender=Male|height=N/A|weight=N/A|eyes=N/A|portrayedby=|appearsin=4 Times,

4 Times Remastered,

BA$EDGOD,

G@NG $H!T,

G@NG $H!T 2,

Half-Life 3 Intro Sequence,

Phonk Free$tyle,

Music Any% Speedrun,

Ode To Alex Mk.2,|debut=4 Times}}
[[Rick Hernia]] was the godlike protagonist of the [[The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki|Rick Hernia Omniverse]]. He was the only being known to ever reach Tier 3 Status. Rick traveled the Omniverse bringing light to darkness and spreading the incredible powers of [[the Force]], and [[Legume]] to those who sought it. Historians theorize that he was the Chosen One.
== Early Childhood ==
Little was known about [[Rick Hernia]] before [[the great META war|the Great META War]]. Rick claimed to have been born on [[Ghetsin 4 Paradox|Ghetsin 4]]. However, no such planet ever existed, according to all known records of the Omniverse. It is theorized that he was formed by the [[Legume]]. Others hypothesize that his heritage was simply unknown due to [[Rick Hernia|Richard]] being orphaned out to [[Honorhall Orphanage]]. [[File:Rick Hernia 2.jpg|alt=Rick Hernia as a tier 1 Metaphysical being.|left|thumb|Rick Hernia in his earliest reported form.|border|185x185px]]
<br />[[Rick Hernia]] transitioned considerably quickly from a Tier 1 to a Tier 2 Metaphysical being. This occurrence is considerably rare, and usually takes upwards of 5000 years to complete. [[Rick Hernia]] had managed to transition in a matter of 4 years.

Rick Transitioned from Tier 1 to Tier 2 in his room in the [[Honorhall Orphanage]], something that terrified his roommate St. Nick and sent Thing 1 and Thing 2 into a frenzy. Rick soon left the Honorhall Orphanage, although he claimed the split was 'amicable'.
== Military Service ==
[[Rick Hernia|Rick]] joined the ranks of the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] cadets some time around 187 B.B, at the ripe old age of thirteen. Rick impressed his superiors and fellow cadets with his impressive knowledge of the Omniverse.

Rick also demonstrated extraordinary competency with almost any skill he was taught, picking it up and rivaling the masters in proficiency in a matter of hours. He was drawing battle maps and planning decisive victories at only fourteen years old.

=== Keith Cumshoes ===
Rick's bunkmate, [[G- Man|G-Man]]'s son [[Keith Cumshoes]], wanted to test Rick's perfect record. Rick excelled at all of the areas of combat- and was one of the most highly skilled soldiers on the planet. But Keith wondered- could he rap?

One night, as Keith and Rick were sitting around the campfire, the two were discussing a myriad of topics. Did [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] think? Was grass green? Why was [[Keith Cumshoes]] made of blue wood?

After a while, the conversation dwindled. The two sat in silence for a while, content with each other's presence. Keith suddenly popped the question.

"Can you rap?"

"What?"

"Can you rap?"

"Of course I can."

"Do it."

Keith began beatboxing, and Rick laid down a spiritual, lyrical masterpiece. This first rap session would later go on to become their hit song 'BA$EDG0D". Rick and Keith began passing notes during boot camp sessions, laughing at lyrics they wrote; these notes were filled to the brim with inside jokes and threats towards government authorities.

=== Ascending Through the Ranks ===
[[Rick Hernia|Rick]] served in the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] Special Combine-Deterrent Forces, after training at Los Angeles School for [[Combine]] Deterrence. Rick was soon promoted to Commander of [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] Forces. Under [[Rick Hernia|Commander Hernia]], the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] made great tactical advancements. Rick taught his fellow footsoldiers in combat, planning, survival, and- perhaps most influencial of all- he told them stories of the Legume.

=== Legume ===
Rick was, at the time, unsure of why or how he knew so much about the [[Legume]]. For as long as he could remember, he had always known everything there was to know about the Legume- not just the hours the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]] spent with it, but how to harness its primordial energy. Rick told his M.T.O soldiers about the Legume, and tried to teach them how to harness it for healing and energy. Rick found none of them were able to connect to the [[Legume]] in the way he could. This was later attributed to his great proficiency with [[the Force]].

== Decapitation ==
Rick was wounded severely in [[the great META war|the great META War]], during the [[Battle of Alexandria]], (Decapitated by the [[General Grievous|Combine General]]). He was honorably discharged with non-life threatening injuries.

<br />

== Music Career ==
After his injury, and the end of [[The great META war|the Great META War]], Rick found himself being bored at home with nothing to do except eating and masturbating (omniscently). He acquired himself an ASUS laptop and installed a cracked version of FL Studio 12. He and [[Keith Cumshoes]] began mixing and mastering rap music together, much to the chagrin of [[Rick Hernia (Omniversal Incarnate)|Rick]]'s upstairs neighbors (they were Christian).

Whilst reconnecting with his lifelong friend, Rick found that the found a common interest in videogames, and they soon began playing Terraria together. This was where [[Steve the Guide]] entered their reality, ejaculating with such force within the videogame that he tore a hole into [[Rick Hernia|Rick]]'s home.

Soon after this, [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]] and [[Rick Hernia|Rick]] began their band, initially creating a two-track EP, 'Noticeable Lump in the Abdomen'.

=== Noticable Lump in the Abdomen ===
On this release were two fantastic musical masterpieces; 'BA$EDGOD', and '4 Times'. BA$EDGOD was so critically acclaimed that it's release date influenced the Omniversal measuring system (December 31, 2020 became December 31, 0 A.B. (After BA$EDGOD).) This led to a great musical renaissance between [[Keith Cumshoes|Cumshoes]] and Hernia. While they both worked on original projects, the two formed a band and began producing spiritual lyrical beats at a dubious rate.

== Becoming a Warshipper ==
Rick Hernia ascended to Tier 3 form when he was decapitated by [[General Grievous]]. In his Tier 3 Form, Rick Hernia began playing with reality. His fascination with bending the fabric of spacetime caught the eye of the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]], who summoned him to [[Ghetsin 3]] to study the [[Legume]] with them. In his Tier 3 form, Rick was unable to travel celestial distances, so the Warshippers asked [[G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)]] to escort him, and escort him he did.

Under the Tutelage of Supreme Warshipper [[Francis Merrigold]], Rick began learning the ways of the [[Legume]] and, by proxy, the ways of the [[The Force|Force]]. Hernia's status as a Metaphysical Being helped him quickly surpass his peers, just as he had all those years ago in the [[M.T.O.]] Rick quickly mastered the crucial components of being a [[The Warshippers|Warshipper]]. [[Francis Merrigold|Francis]] told Rick the [[Legume]] was so impressed with Him that it granted him the status of 'God of Men'. This title was basically meaningless; however, over thousands of years studying the Legume and the Force, Rick Hernia became more powerful than any [[G- Man|G-Man]] could ever dream of. He traveled the Omniverse with the [[Gleryate]], spreading [[the Force]] to those deemed worthy.

Rick Hernia was on [[Ghetsin 3]] during the time of [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]]'s traumatic involvement in the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]], and as such was not able to comfort his dear friend. However, Rick did send [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]] an image of a private part on his body, to cheer the poor guy up.

== Space Prophet ==
Rick's [[The Force|Force]] powers were an extraordinary gift, and his adeptness with these abilities was far greater than any other being in the Omniverse. Rick endowed countless creatures in systems across the Omniverse during his time with his knowledge in [[the Force]]. He learned to take a corporal form, as he had all those years ago in [[The great META war|the Great META War]], in his [[Rick Hernia (Omniversal Incarnate)|Omniversal Incarnate]]. During this time, Rick Hernia frequently engaged in bitter spats with the Scourge of the Omniverse, [[Hunter Biden]]. The two became bitter enemies. Hunter wanted to extinguish [[the Force]] from the Omniverse for good, and would stop at nothing to achieve his goal. Hunter had severe daddy issues after being 'raised' by the rotten, wretched [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]. In their [[Liberation of Berrand|first meeting]] on [[Berrand]], Hunter Biden called Rick a 'Space Prophet', a name which Rick eventually grew to adore and adopt.

=== Emperor of Waifuria ===
Rick served as [[Waifurian Empire|Emperor of Waifuria]] for a substantial period in the ninety thousands. He was one of the best-rated emperors in history, and composed the Waifurian Imperial Anthem. <gallery>

</gallery>
[[Category:Events]]

Rick Hernia

2026-04-15T08:48:56Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:1774767593719-019d3863-e089-739f-992f-caf1123f4904.png|thumb|481x481px|Rick Hernia at the battle of Rannjoe, during the 2nd Great META War. ]]
[[File:Rick Hernia Omniversal Incarnate.png|thumb|432x432px|Rick Hernia's Omniversal Incarnate, also known as his 'Super' Form.]]
{{Character|name=Richard Marcus Hernandez Hernia III|imagecaption=Rick Hernia's Omniscent form|aliases=Rick Hernia,

Rick,

Ricky,

Richard,

The Based God,

Guardian Of The Cum Sta$h,|relatives=Unnamed Mother,

Unnamed Father,

Dr. Phil (Possible Uncle),

Riley Reid (Possible Cousin)

Vero Buge|affiliation=M.T.O Cadets (Formerly),

M.T.O Special Combined Forces Unit (Honourably Discharged),

M.T.O Veterans Club ,

Rick Hernia's Cum Cult

Legume|occupation=Commander of M.T.O.

Musician

God of Men|marital=A$AP KIDNEY $TONE: 199 B.B. - Final Moment (Never Anulled)|birthDate=February 10th 200 B.B.|birthPlace=Ghetsin 4|deathDate=Final Moment|deathPlace=Wreckage of Waifuria Prime|species=Tier 3 Metaphysical Being|gender=Male|height=N/A|weight=N/A|eyes=N/A|portrayedby=|appearsin=4 Times,

4 Times Remastered,

BA$EDGOD,

G@NG $H!T,

G@NG $H!T 2,

Half-Life 3 Intro Sequence,

Phonk Free$tyle,

Music Any% Speedrun,

Ode To Alex Mk.2,|debut=4 Times}}
[[Rick Hernia]] was the godlike protagonist of the [[The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki|Rick Hernia Omniverse]]. He was the only being known to ever reach Tier 3 Status. Rick traveled the Omniverse bringing light to darkness and spreading the incredible powers of [[the Force]], and [[Legume]] to those who sought it. Historians theorize that he was the Chosen One.
== Early Childhood ==
Little was known about [[Rick Hernia]] before [[the great META war|the Great META War]]. Rick claimed to have been born on [[Planets: Disambiguation|Ghetsin]] 4. However, no such planet ever existed, according to all known records of the Omniverse. It is theorized that he was formed by the [[Legume]]. Others hypothesize that his heritage was simply unknown due to [[Rick Hernia|Richard]] being orphaned out to [[Honorhall Orphanage]]. [[File:Rick Hernia 2.jpg|alt=Rick Hernia as a tier 1 Metaphysical being.|left|thumb|Rick Hernia in his earliest reported form.|border|185x185px]]
<br />[[Rick Hernia]] transitioned considerably quickly from a Tier 1 to a Tier 2 Metaphysical being. This occurrence is considerably rare, and usually takes upwards of 5000 years to complete. [[Rick Hernia]] had managed to transition in a matter of 4 years.

Rick Transitioned from Tier 1 to Tier 2 in his room in the [[Honorhall Orphanage]], something that terrified his roommate St. Nick and sent Thing 1 and Thing 2 into a frenzy. Rick soon left the Honorhall Orphanage, although he claimed the split was 'amicable'.
== Military Service ==
[[Rick Hernia|Rick]] joined the ranks of the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] cadets some time around 187 B.B, at the ripe old age of thirteen. Rick impressed his superiors and fellow cadets with his impressive knowledge of the Omniverse.

Rick also demonstrated extraordinary competency with almost any skill he was taught, picking it up and rivaling the masters in proficiency in a matter of hours. He was drawing battle maps and planning decisive victories at only fourteen years old.

=== Keith Cumshoes ===
Rick's bunkmate, [[G- Man|G-Man]]'s son [[Keith Cumshoes]], wanted to test Rick's perfect record. Rick excelled at all of the areas of combat- and was one of the most highly skilled soldiers on the planet. But Keith wondered- could he rap?

One night, as Keith and Rick were sitting around the campfire, the two were discussing a myriad of topics. Did [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] think? Was grass green? Why was [[Keith Cumshoes]] made of blue wood?

After a while, the conversation dwindled. The two sat in silence for a while, content with each other's presence. Keith suddenly popped the question.

"Can you rap?"

"What?"

"Can you rap?"

"Of course I can."

"Do it."

Keith began beatboxing, and Rick laid down a spiritual, lyrical masterpiece. This first rap session would later go on to become their hit song 'BA$EDG0D". Rick and Keith began passing notes during boot camp sessions, laughing at lyrics they wrote; these notes were filled to the brim with inside jokes and threats towards government authorities.

=== Ascending Through the Ranks ===
[[Rick Hernia|Rick]] served in the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] Special Combine-Deterrent Forces, after training at Los Angeles School for [[Combine]] Deterrence. Rick was soon promoted to Commander of [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] Forces. Under [[Rick Hernia|Commander Hernia]], the [[M.T.O.|M.T.O]] made great tactical advancements. Rick taught his fellow footsoldiers in combat, planning, survival, and- perhaps most influencial of all- he told them stories of the Legume.

=== Legume ===
Rick was, at the time, unsure of why or how he knew so much about the [[Legume]]. For as long as he could remember, he had always known everything there was to know about the Legume- not just the hours the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]] spent with it, but how to harness its primordial energy. Rick told his M.T.O soldiers about the Legume, and tried to teach them how to harness it for healing and energy. Rick found none of them were able to connect to the [[Legume]] in the way he could. This was later attributed to his great proficiency with [[the Force]].

== Decapitation ==
Rick was wounded severely in [[the great META war|the great META War]], during the [[Battle of Alexandria]], (Decapitated by the [[General Grievous|Combine General]]). He was honorably discharged with non-life threatening injuries.

<br />

== Music Career ==
After his injury, and the end of [[The great META war|the Great META War]], Rick found himself being bored at home with nothing to do except eating and masturbating (omniscently). He acquired himself an ASUS laptop and installed a cracked version of FL Studio 12. He and [[Keith Cumshoes]] began mixing and mastering rap music together, much to the chagrin of [[Rick Hernia (Omniversal Incarnate)|Rick]]'s upstairs neighbors (they were Christian).

Whilst reconnecting with his lifelong friend, Rick found that the found a common interest in videogames, and they soon began playing Terraria together. This was where [[Steve the Guide]] entered their reality, ejaculating with such force within the videogame that he tore a hole into [[Rick Hernia|Rick]]'s home.

Soon after this, [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]] and [[Rick Hernia|Rick]] began their band, initially creating a two-track EP, 'Noticeable Lump in the Abdomen'.

=== Noticable Lump in the Abdomen ===
On this release were two fantastic musical masterpieces; 'BA$EDGOD', and '4 Times'. BA$EDGOD was so critically acclaimed that it's release date influenced the Omniversal measuring system (December 31, 2020 became December 31, 0 A.B. (After BA$EDGOD).) This led to a great musical renaissance between [[Keith Cumshoes|Cumshoes]] and Hernia. While they both worked on original projects, the two formed a band and began producing spiritual lyrical beats at a dubious rate.

== Becoming a Warshipper ==
Rick Hernia ascended to Tier 3 form when he was decapitated by [[General Grievous]]. In his Tier 3 Form, Rick Hernia began playing with reality. His fascination with bending the fabric of spacetime caught the eye of the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]], who summoned him to [[Ghetsin 3]] to study the [[Legume]] with them. In his Tier 3 form, Rick was unable to travel celestial distances, so the Warshippers asked [[G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)]] to escort him, and escort him he did.

Under the Tutelage of Supreme Warshipper [[Francis Merrigold]], Rick began learning the ways of the [[Legume]] and, by proxy, the ways of the [[The Force|Force]]. Hernia's status as a Metaphysical Being helped him quickly surpass his peers, just as he had all those years ago in the [[M.T.O.]] Rick quickly mastered the crucial components of being a [[The Warshippers|Warshipper]]. [[Francis Merrigold|Francis]] told Rick the [[Legume]] was so impressed with Him that it granted him the status of 'God of Men'. This title was basically meaningless; however, over thousands of years studying the Legume and the Force, Rick Hernia became more powerful than any [[G- Man|G-Man]] could ever dream of. He traveled the Omniverse with the [[Gleryate]], spreading [[the Force]] to those deemed worthy.

Rick Hernia was on [[Ghetsin 3]] during the time of [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]]'s traumatic involvement in the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]], and as such was not able to comfort his dear friend. However, Rick did send [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]] an image of a private part on his body, to cheer the poor guy up.

== Space Prophet ==
Rick's [[The Force|Force]] powers were an extraordinary gift, and his adeptness with these abilities was far greater than any other being in the Omniverse. Rick endowed countless creatures in systems across the Omniverse during his time with his knowledge in [[the Force]]. He learned to take a corporal form, as he had all those years ago in [[The great META war|the Great META War]], in his [[Rick Hernia (Omniversal Incarnate)|Omniversal Incarnate]]. During this time, Rick Hernia frequently engaged in bitter spats with the Scourge of the Omniverse, [[Hunter Biden]]. The two became bitter enemies. Hunter wanted to extinguish [[the Force]] from the Omniverse for good, and would stop at nothing to achieve his goal. Hunter had severe daddy issues after being 'raised' by the rotten, wretched [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]. In their [[Liberation of Berrand|first meeting]] on [[Berrand]], Hunter Biden called Rick a 'Space Prophet', a name which Rick eventually grew to adore and adopt.

=== Emperor of Waifuria ===
Rick served as [[Waifurian Empire|Emperor of Waifuria]] for a substantial period in the ninety thousands. He was one of the best-rated emperors in history, and composed the Waifurian Imperial Anthem. <gallery>

</gallery>
[[Category:Events]]

File:Rick Hernia Omniversal Incarnate.png

2026-04-15T08:47:08Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

Rick Hernia Omniversal Incarnate - Ultimate Form

The San Andreas Incident

2026-04-15T08:36:29Z

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[[File:Keithling.png|thumb|380x380px|Keith standing outside of Los Angeles]]

=== Description: ===
The San Andreas Incident was a catastrophic event on [[Earth 2]] that occurred in 555,550 AB.

=== A Sunrise Over LA: ===
[[Keith Cumshoes]] awoke to the usual sight of Earth 2’s morning skies that had become commonplace for the past few millennia: A very dense layer of thick smog only barely penetrated by the sun’s rays, the only natural light source left as the stars had been rendered invisible by light pollution around 35,000 A.B. Keith sat up in his bed, staring outside the window at the holoboards welded onto just about every building in the city of Los Angeles. He sat in silence for a moment, quietly thinking to himself. Firstly about [[Jezebel]], his once-loved now long since passed. It had been quite some time since he had last thought about her, mostly on account of the fact she had inadvertently murdered all of their children via [[Bombing of Columbus|Nuclear Pumpkin]] for which he had divorced her. Still, the way she died had not been a pleasant way to go. “As if there were such a thing,” Keith thought to himself as he finally stood up. As he dressed himself, one of the holoboards displayed something that caught his attention. “Join the M.T.O. today!” it read. Instantly, Keith’s thoughts turned to [[Rick Hernia]]. He hadn’t seen Rick in years. Rick left Earth not long after the [[Great META War 2|Second Great Meta War]], and in the days leading up to his departure Keith could tell something had changed about him. Keith knew something had happened in [[Memphis, Tennessee|Memphis]], something involving [[Phovus|Director Phovus]] and a coup attempt. Rick had entered the [[Bass Pro Shop Pyramid|Bass Pro Shops Pyramid]] that night, and Phovus was found dead mere hours later. Whatever had happened between those two, it shook up Rick enough that he never told anyone about it, not even Keith. Keith stepped out onto the balcony of his apartment, lit a joint, and took a puff. He hated Los Angeles, but he didn’t really have anywhere else to go. [[Syndor City]] had been his home for a very long time but after that damn documentary he had basically been run out by the citizenry so that wasn’t an option any more. Thoughts of Rick were still swirling in his mind, the memory of his departure becoming clearer. Rick had made Keith promise to him that he would stay here, to protect Earth. Yeah right, Keith thought to himself, like he was ever capable of that. As much as he wanted, he couldn’t exactly stroll into Memphis and pour a glass of water over President Eden’s motherboard without getting turned into shavings. Waifuria had changed a bit since the fall of the [[Waifurian Empire|Empire]], although not much. Going by the “Waifurian Republic” now, and headed by [[President Heinrich Eden]] who was the sole member of the [[The Board of Waifuria|Board of Waifuria]] not to have fled or opted for suicide during the invasion by [[Worlds Without Boundaries]]. The Republic was far smaller, containing the [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol System]], Barnard’s Star, and Alpha Centauri. Sirius had once been part of the Republic but won their independence in a peace deal between WWB and the Waifurian Republic in which the Republic won the ability to rearm, albeit still under “close watch” from WWB which didn’t mean much. Other than that, things had largely stayed the same. Eden’s rule was unchallenged as presidential elections had remained banned, but local and provincial figures could still be elected. “Regulated Autonomy” they called it. Keith however, preferred to call it bullshit. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the door to his apartment being knocked down, to which he spun around just in time to catch a flashbang to the face.

=== The Waifurian Gambit: ===
Keith felt himself be pushed down onto his knees and cuffed. As his vision and hearing returned, the shape of several men in all black military gear came into view, their rifles trained on him. One figure stood out however, one who seemed dressed more so like an officer of some sort rather than a ground troop. “Greetings, Mr. Cumshoes.” The man spoke calmly in a very noticeable Russian accent. Still dazed, Keith struggled to see who was in front of him. “I am [[Commander Volkov]].” Keith recognized the name. Volkov had been involved in combating insurgent groups on Yoonir in the Sirius system until the peace deal with WWB had been made. His senses regained, Keith “Care to explain why you broke down my door? Veteran’s salary doesn’t exactly pay well enough to have that fixed anytime soon.” “I have sought you out for a very… particular reason, Mr. Cumshoes.” “Look, I’ve always hated the monologue schtick. Get to the point.” “Very well. The Waifurian Republic has requested your assistance, Mr. Cumshoes.” “What makes you think I would ever willingly work with you?” “Simple, Mr. Cumshoes. You cooperate, and we give you the location of [[G- Man|your father]].” Keith froze when the words left Volkov’s mouth. Keith hadn’t seen his father since… since [[GLue Factory Incident|Albuquerque]]. “I can see what we offer is of interest to you, Mr. Cumshoes.” “What is it you need done?” Keith inquired. Despite his grievances, this wasn’t an opportunity he could pass up. “We have had reports of unusually strong seismic activity originating from a point just below San Francisco. Given that the San Andreas fault line runs under the city, you can see why this would present a potential problem.” “So, what, you just want me to go look at it?” “In a sense. You see, the frequencies detected underneath the city closely align with that of the long-defunct Undernode used by the Tesla Hivemind long ago to form the Teslazord. Given Tesla’s incorporation into JF Sweet’s after Mr. Tusk’s unfortunate demise, if the Undernode is still operational, then the entire planet’s technology could be at risk of being compromised. Surely, you understand why this is an unacceptable security risk, and given your service record, you are the most qualified person on the planet to tackle this threat.” “And you said you have my father’s location?” “Correct, Mr. Cumshoes.” Keith ruminated on the situation for a moment. He certainly never wanted to work for Waifuria ever again, but his father… he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill his father or just ask him why he had done all that he did. Conflict grew ever deeper in Keith’s mind, unsure of what he should do. It was then he remembered what he had promised Rick. That he would protect this planet. As reprehensible as Waifuria was, the damage any remaining AI within the Undernode could do would certainly be worse. His gaze met Volkov’s. “Alright. I’ll do it.” “Wonderful. You will have a transport waiting for you in the morning. Oh, and I will personally pay for your replacement door.” Volkov ordered for Keith to be uncuffed, and he and his troops exited the apartment complex. Regaining his footing, Keith stumbled to his closet, grabbing something wrapped in a cloth. Keith unwrapped the object, revealing his old starmetal katana which he had held onto all this time. He took the sword, watching the light from the holoboards gleam off its blade. He had promised Rick he would protect the Earth, and now he would do exactly that.

=== Beneath the Golden Gates: ===
Keith’s trip to San Francisco did not last a particularly long time, given the advancements in tech made over the past few hundred thousand years. Once he was in the city, he was met by [[M.T.O.|MTO]] troops who gave him a new set of MTO gear. He, along with two other soldiers, made their way to the site of where the Golden Gate Bridge once lay, now replaced with the Golden Gate Memorial commemorating those who lost their lives in the [[Cybetronic Police Department of Northeastern San Francisco|Tesla Takeover of 3 AB]]. “Is this the spot?” Keith asked, turning his attention to one of the soldiers next to him. “Affirmative, sir. This is the source of the tremors. I reckon you’ll be needing this.” The soldier handed him an EMF detection device to help him find the Undernode, as it communicated to each individual Tesla unit that way. Keith stepped onto the railing surrounding the San Francisco Bay, preparing to jump. “Godspeed, sir.” one of the soldiers said to Keith, as he jumped into the bay. The Low-Vis Environment Heavy Lights (commonly shortened as LVEHL and pronounced as “level” by frontline troops) on the MTO suits made underwater navigation incredibly easy for Keith. He scanned the seabed as he walked along it, searching for anything that could hint to a means of accessing the Undernode. Eventually, he came across the ruins of the Golden Gate Bridge itself, both halves of the Teslazord included. Very little was recognizable, the elements had certainly taken their toll. Keith climbed into the wreckage of the Teslazord, figuring Tesla technology might help him locate the Undernode quicker. He tore an entrance into the upper half of the Teslazord, making his way further up the body as he figured the control center was somewhere in the head. After a few hours of tearing his way through the ruins of the mechanical giant, he finally located the control center, damaged, but tucked away in a part of the mech where it was left in an air pocket. Keith examined the scene. All of the electronics had since lost power. Something caught his attention, however. A strange wire extended down from the ceiling but whatever it had been plugged into was gone. Along the floor there was an inky black substance in a trail leading to a set of emergency escape pods. Keith examined them, and using his suit’s built-in jack he bypassed the security lock and entered one of the pods. The escape pod offered several locations to travel to including cities all over the globe. There was one location that intrigued him, though. Listed as “The Tuskcave.” Given the oddity of the name, Keith was certain this was the location of the Undernode. He input the Tuskcave as his selected location and the escape pod jettisoned from the Teslazord and began tunneling into the ground.

=== Elon's Emporium of Exploited Enterprises: ===
The escape pod slammed into the roof of Tuskcave and burrowed through, landing on the floor of the facility. Keith, although a bit motion sick from the landing, exited the pod. He was in some kind of facility, albeit clearly run down from the millenniums of neglect. Moss and vines grew from the ceiling, and the metal of the walls and floor was cracked with plant life even settling in them. Keith pulled out the EMF reader, finding which direction emitted the strongest signal and made his way there. Eventually, he came across a massive room, with a viewing station across from him positioned far above the ground. Below it, a massive metal sphere labeled “Undernode” sat. Keith had finally found it. All he had to do now was destroy it. He raised his starmetal katana above his head, and swung down. Instantly, Keith was thrown far back into the room. The entrance he had come in through was now being sealed by blast doors, and the observation room lowered itself. Two massive screens in the room suddenly lit up, a glass tube filled with some kind of liquid and a head within it was visible. The tube slowly turned around, revealing the disembodied head of [[Elon Tusk]]. Keith was shocked, Tusk had died eons ago, how could he still be alive? “Keith Cumshoes, in the flesh. I have to say I’m surprised you’re doing Waifuria’s dirty work again.” “How- how the hell are you alive?” “Great question. You see, I wasn’t content to just die there in the San Francisco Bay all those years back. I had far greater ambitions than mere revenge.” “What is it you want? And why did you reactivate the Undernode?” “What do I want? Oh no, Keith you’ve got it all wrong. It’s all about what ''he'' wants. Given, I have my own vested interests in the plan, but still. As for the Undernode, I’m afraid that’s going to have to remain my little secret.” “Who is it you’re working for?” “Let’s just say, an old friend of ours.” “You need to shut down the Undernode, Elon. You’re putting the entire Earth at risk!” “Oh, why’s that? Because I could infiltrate every piece of technology those '''bastards''' over at JF Sweet’s stole from me? ''I already have.'' I’ve watched every minute of your life since I got in, as I have with everyone else.” A million thoughts ran through Keith’s mind. Mostly about the Earth, but mainly his promise to Rick. He couldn’t let Tusk, or whoever he was working for, get away with this. “Elon, listen to me. I have to stop this, for the sake of the planet.” “Is it really that, though? Or was it because they offered you ''your father''?” “This isn’t about him, I’ll deal with him when the time calls for it. Where’s the Governor? His body wasn’t on the mech.” “I was hoping you’d ask about that. You see, his energy cores gave me all the power I needed to keep this place functioning for the past however many years it’s been, I lost count ages ago. As for his body, heh, well, I think you’ll like what I cooked up.” Just then, a hatch opened up from the ceiling and down from it dropped a mechanical replica of Keith himself. Keith stared in horror at the machine doppelganger before him. “I had to make a few upgrades here and there, given the explosion. But I think you’ll find him more than a match for you. [[Metal Keith]], engage!” Just then, the robot’s eyes ignited into a crimson red. Its gaze met Keith’s as he drew his katana and readied himself. “[Scanning target lifeform...] [Identity confirmed: Keith Cumshoes.] [Beginning extermination protocol...]”

=== Metallic Madness: ===
The machine launched itself at Keith, who sidestepped the attack. Metal Keith almost immediately recovers, taking Keith off guard. He narrowly brought his katana up in time to protect himself from Metal Keith’s claw-like fingertips. It took all of his strength to keep the machine at bay, the sound of its claws scraping against the starmetal sending a shiver down Keith’s spine. Suddenly, Keith’s legs are sweeped by the machine, who takes the advantage to impale Keith on its fingers. Keith screams in pain, only for the machine to activate its jets, slamming Keith into a nearby wall and dragging him across it at incredible speeds, injuring him greatly. The machine retracts its claws while spinning its torso at a rapid pace, throwing Keith across the room. Keith only barely manages to roll away to dodge a follow-up punch aimed directly at where his head was, denting the floor. Metal Keith’s head immediately snaps to Keith, boosting towards him and grabbing him by the neck followed by slamming him into another wall with a stomp to his chest. Keith gets the wind knocked out of him and as he is recovering, a red glow begins to emanate from Metal Keith’s left arm, a cannon has formed and is aimed directly at his head. “[Keith Cumshoes termination commencing...]” In this moment, Keith remembers an incident he had with [[General Grievous]] where the cyborg general sliced one of his arms, followed by an immense wave of energy that was released from Keith’s severed arm that nearly ended the Kaleesh war criminal. Keith simply stares at the machine, waiting for the right moment. The light grows ever brighter, the energy building up. Keith recognized this technology, the Charge Laser given to MTO troops used a similar firing mechanism. Assuming these were of similar make, it should be any second now. Suddenly, Keith shoved his arm into the barrel of the arm cannon. Metal Keith fought desperately to remove his organic counterpart from the arm cannon, but made little progress before it fired, creating an enormous explosion. When the dust settled, organic and machine alike were missing arms. The difference being, now Keith had an arm cannon of sorts for himself now. He could feel the energy beginning to well within his wound, but he couldn’t hold it for very long. He had to make sure to make the most of it or else he may not survive. Grabbing Metal Keith’s attention, he lured the machine into a position where the Undernode was directly behind it. The second Keith was sure the blast would hit both, he released the energy within his arm, flinging Metal Keith into the force field surrounding the Undernode, almost crushing the machine between the two forces. Keith’s vision dimmed, and he collapsed to the ground. When he awoke a short time later, the Undernode was obliterated. Metal Keith and Elon Tusk were both nowhere to be seen, and the base was set to self-destruct. Keith made his way to the observation room, figuring that if Elon had left behind a second escape pod in the Teslazord, he may have one within this base as well. Keith’s hypothesis proved true, and he directed the pod to Los Angeles.

=== The Way Home: ===
Keith had passed out on the trip there, and when he awoke he found Los Angeles in absolute ruin. Unbeknownst to him, the destruction of the Undernode set off an explosion so large it decimated San Francisco and had disrupted the San Andreas fault line, separating it from the mainland US. When he exited the pod, it didn’t take long for MTO troops to detain him. One of the troops knocked him out, and while Keith was slipping in and out of consciousness, he heard one of them mention they were to take him to [[Alcatraz Prime]], the floating superprison in orbit around Earth. With what little of his consciousness he had left, Keith knew two things. He had to find his father, and more importantly, he had to find Rick.

Bear X

2026-04-15T08:36:07Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Bear.png|thumb|(A photograph of Bear X, taken a few years before his ascension to Chairzog)]]

Bear X, commonly known as Jimothy pre-transformation, was a normal bear, turned AI program turned multi-dimensional entity that played a large role in Higher-Dimensional Omniversal politics.

== Early Life ==
Jimothy was born to a lovely bear couple in 49 AB and lived a relatively normal life for a bear. He simply ate, drank, and slept whenever and wherever he pleased.

== Luminous Deer Interventioniums ==
Unfortunately for Jimothy, his life would be completely changed forever when a certain anarcho-primitivist deer took it upon himself to revolt against the advancement of technology by obliterating himself and almost all of Cascadia. Despite the [[Grand Luminous Deer]]’s intentions, very few natural lifeforms actually survived the closer radiuses of the blast. Among these casualties was Jimothy, who’s body had been completely vaporized in a swirl of legumish nuclear fire. Yet somehow, Jimothy’s consciousness was retained. Unbeknownst to him, the Legumish energy still radiating from the explosion was somehow keeping him alive. However, Jimothy was not the only one being kept alive by this energy, as he could feel the souls of every living being, including humans, who had died in the explosion. Jimothy attempted to reach out to them to make contact, but quickly found the only method of “interaction” within this hellish ghost-like state was absorbing the soul of another obliterated being in order to prolong your own existence for however long you had left.

=== Horrid Decisionariums ===
Faced with the prospect of entropification, Jimothy was forced to begin absorbing the souls of the beings around him in order to survive for any amount of time. Jimothy’s consciousness slowly but surely became a massive energy anomaly consuming soul after soul in a desperate attempt to sustain itself. Jimothy sustained himself for what felt like years upon years until he finally found an access point, and reached out to it.

=== Grand Mergings ===
Unbeknownst to Jimothy, he had just accidentally transported his horribly soul-bloated consciousness into the entire Waifurian [[Waifurian Empire|supernetwork]]. This immediately caused interference across the globe, sending communications authorities into a panicked frenzy attempting to understand what had just overloaded their servers. Now finally fused as one, Jimothy felt the thoughts and feelings of every single being he had absorbed in his time spent between life and death. He felt as if he could no longer consider himself an individual being, but rather a fully-functioning collective with his visage as their representation. He began pondering what he should call himself, or rather, themself.

== Grand Uncoverings ==
Despite the total frenzy across every communications outpost, the Waifurian Supernetwork Maintenance Department quickly identified that a massive AI program had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and filled much of their packet transportation networks, effectively putting the entire supernetwork on hold until they compressed the “file size” of the being. Noone knew what to call this being, but it’s symbol across every terminal was that of a bear. As such, many began referring to the AI as “Bear X”.

=== The Birth of Bear X ===
Unbeknownst to the network researchers, Jimothy’s collective could hear every conversation they had. Eventually, the collective decided that they liked the name Bear X, and chose that as their new moniker.

=== Grand Constructionariums ===
Given that an entire AI system large enough to crash the Waifurian Supernetwork had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, Waifuria’s top scientists (Of which there were only 3 following the unfortunate Mummy Mishap at the Downward Spiral) began constructing a vessel for the AI to inhabit so it could interact with humanity. It took around 7 months (and an additional dead scientist) to construct a body for Bear X. It took some time and persuasion from the scientists, but eventually Bear X settled into its new body.

=== Grand Awakenings ===
Bear X was, at this point, particularly helpless in a physical form given that it had spent 35 years in a soullean and then cyberspace form. It took Bear X several weeks to even stand, all the while many different scientists from across the globe came to study the anomaly. Tests eventually confirmed that Bear X was in fact, a collection of consciousnesses rather than a simple AI program. Following these results, the scientists attempted to contact the being, but Bear X was still almost entirely incapable of motor function, much less speech.

=== Kleiner’s Mishap ===
Despite having a fucking soullean robot bear in front of them, the scientists were not at all pleased with their current results and pressure from higher-ups, most notably [[Phovus|Director Phovus]] who had personally funded the project for its potential weaponization, was beginning to make them desperate. One fateful evening, Dr. Isaac Kleiner snuck into the facility holding Bear X after hours and plugged a USB wire that was connected to a computer with hours of footage of bears directly into Bear X’s pseudo-brain. This would ultimately grant Bear X the knowledge necessary for movement, however Dr. Kleiner would receive the ultimate demonstration of Bear X’s movement capabilities as he would be quickly disemboweled and left to bleed to death.

After obliterating Dr. Kleiner, Bear X made it's way into the wilds. Unfortunately, the incident back at the laboratory had been seen on the facility's security cameras. This began a "bearhunt" where the Waifurian Armed Forces attempted to capture Bear X. Despite hundreds of thousands of dollars being spent to find the soullean machine, Bear X managed to either evade capture or completely obliterate whichever squad was sent after it. This continued for years on end until one fateful evening...

== Cocaine-Powered Ursid Death Machine ==
While peacefully relaxing in the forest one day, Bear X was suddenly hit with 17 bricks of cocaine dropped from a stratoplane piloted by a smuggler working under the crime boss John Gotti. Rather dazed and confused, (and righteously suspicious given they had been on the run for several years) Bear X attacked the cocaine bricks viscously, accidentally inhaling almost 87% of the total cocaine dropped from the stratoplane. Now, dear reader, before we continue it is essential to clarify that this was not just your ordinary Columbian sugar that Bear X had just inhaled. This was that Grade-S Xen crystal-infused Hyperborean alien tier coke. The kinda shit that makes you enter a god damn coma before seeing Nythalops the Devourer annihilate your ego from orbit. Knowing this, you can imagine how well it went. Following the inhalation of the Hyperborean [[Xen]] Cocaine, Bear X experienced ego annihilation and went on a 80 month-murderous rampage all across the North and South American continent. The total death count is, to this day, not entirely known but experts put the death toll at around 15 billion.

=== Retirement ===
Following the "Xen Coke Massacre" as media outlets titled it, Bear X was declared a weapon of mass destruction by the UN and search efforts were increased with explicit orders to terminate Bear X on sight with any means necessary. Following this, Bear X booked a flight (How Bear X got past TSA or wasn't even on a fucking no-fly list is entirely unknown to all but The Employers and mentioning the incident greatly irritates them) to the isolated mountain nation of Bhutan where he settled down and eventually joined a group of monks who, instead of teaching Buddhism, instead taught the way of the now-former God of Plentiful Harvest, [[Michael Jackson]].

== The Return of MJ ==
It turns out that following his disappearance from the Smithsonian Museum on the night before Thanksgiving in 1 AB, MJ had so desperately sought to regain his immortality that he appealed to the very Employers themselves. The [[Employers]], too busy with very important things like downing several gallons of JF Sweet's cherry cola and punishing people who accidentally invented time travel to have their soul consumed by Nythalops the Devourer, ignored this plea. However thankfully for MJ, a member of the Transdimensional Ordinance for Alignment in Superquark Twintertwinement heard his call across dimensions and gave him the energy necessary to become immortal again. However this came at a cost. The member of the T.O.A.S.T., known simply as [[Joromand Gulliphius Ozimand Boolertol XLVII]] required something in exchange from MJ. Joromand specified to MJ that he was to open a temple on Earth to allow lesser-dimensional beings to ascend to the 5th dimension in order to experience. Why Joromand requested this is unknown but many 5th dimensional scholars believe that he was attempting to save his political career by packing the Supreme Court of Dimensionality. Following his orders, MJ continued to reside in Bhutan alongside his followers. He spoke of potential enlightenment and an ascension so powerful a person could break past their dimension of origin. This is what attracted Bear X to the temple, as they viewed the prospect of dimension-hopping to be the most efficient method of escaping international pursuit.

== Enlightenment ==
After many years, Bear X proved to be the only member of the temple capable of mastering the most basic [[Legume|Legumish]] energies. This greatly upset most of the temple's inhabitants as jealousy began to grow among their ranks and people began leaving en masse. This greatly upset MJ, as his immortality would be revoked if he lost the temple. In an effort to save himself, MJ attacked Bear X while they were sleeping. Despite being in near-hibernation mere minutes prior, Bear X retaliated utilizing everything they had learned from MJ and his teachings. Despite having the element of surprise and a percentage of his godly powers, MJ struggled to keep up against the sheer force that Bear X employed in their battle. After gaining the upper hand in their fight, Bear X threw MJ on the ground, preparing a swipe aimed at his head that would have surely killed him had a new presence not made itself known. Standing there before both of them was Joromand, having descended from the 5th dimension. The sheer shock of seeing him caused both soullean robot bear and harvest god to cease their struggle, allowing Joromand to explain to them that in besting MJ, a God, in combat Bear X had proven that it was worthy of ascending to a 5th dimensional level. As such, MJ was stripped of his immortality where he shriveled to his post-crucifixion state and weakly slinked out of the temple. Bear X was almost immediately granted their ascension following MJ's depowering and found themselves in the 5th dimension.

== 5th Dimensional Political Campaign ==
When Bear X first arrived in the 5th dimension they believed that this level of existence was a completely wondrous place full of sights lesser being could not physically comprehend. This belief was soon shattered when Joromand explained to Bear X his purpose in bringing them there. Although Joromand's original plan to pack the Supreme Court of Dimensionality was now thwarted given MJ's inability to properly lead a cult, Joromand formed a new plan. One which would involve installing Bear X as the new Chairzog for T.O.A.S.T. Bear X had little interest in following along with this plan but Joromand threatened to reduce them back down to the 3rd dimension, or even obliterate their consciousness entirely. (Joromand absolutely did not have enough power to do this but he is renowned across the 5th dimension as a very convincing guy.) Given this, Bear X agreed to run for Chairzog. The election was entirely one-sided, no doubt due in part to Joromand's meddling, with Bear X winning 9.75/10 of the vote. Bear X went on to lead the T.O.A.S.T. to arguably their most successful years in the entire history of the organization, greatly improving the lives of not only 5th dimensionals but 4th dimensionals as well. (The 3rd dimension was initially planned to be assisted as well but the presence of a particular purple vegetable of death dissuaded them from doing so.) This granted Bear X several decades of reelection and success, eventually making them the most admired being across both the 4th and 5th dimensions.

== Ousting and Fate ==
Despite their great success, Bear X's political career came crashing down when a certain unstable Neutron Star came to town and they were obliterated in a landslide election that outdid even Bear X's initial election. Following this, The [[Hulphlocke Impotum]] promptly obliterated the consciousness-seams holding Bear X together, seemingly killing the entity once and for all. Regaining his own individuality, Jimothy felt himself be flung far across the 5th dimensional plane. He was weak, but alive. He was not sure where any of the other consciousnesses stored within Bear X were or if they had even survived. Despite this, Jimothy trekked on back to 5th Dimensional Civilization intent on getting revenge on Hulphlocke. It took what felt like eons, but Jimothy eventually found Hulphlocke in a trace. (Unbeknownst to Jimothy, Hulphlocke was currently undergoing his viewing of the 6th dimension.) Jimothy pulled the alarm for the Qapitolium Guards to enter the room and then promptly meshed his own consciousness within Hulphlocke. Jimothy remained there inside of Hulphlocke's consciousness for decades, even surviving it's reduction into a single atom and entrapment in the [[Legume]]. After several billion years, Jimothy had finally gained enough energy to escape not only Hulphlocke but even the Legume itself.

== A Viscous Cycle ==
Jimothy shot his consciousness across light years, unsure of where he would land. However, he would run out of energy to sustain himself 3/4ths of the way through his journey and died. Despite this, the Legumish energy retained in the single quark that had become his body following his escape from Hulphlocke made it's way to Earth. The quark landed in a small stream in a forest in Washington state where one particular deer drank it by happenstance, gaining all the Legumish energy stored within.
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Events]]

Worlds Without Boundaries

2026-04-15T08:35:37Z

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[[File:Imagebanner.png|thumb|The official Banner of Worlds Without Boundaries]]

Notable Members:

[[Ozymund Gredel]]

[[Larry Foulke]]

Admiral [[Sus E. Amonger]]

Worlds Without Boundaries was a intergalactic terrorist organization founded in 278 B.B. on the planet [[Garudis-4]] in the Milky Way Galaxy.

== Origins ==
Worlds Without Boundaries was formed as a defense force across the different systems that made up the Southern Belt Coalition that acted outside of the jurisdiction of any of its nations, a sort of multi-system wide militia force, ready to defend the citizenry of the SBC against whatever threats may arise.

=== The Continuation War ===
Following the fall of the SBC to the [[Combine]] in their invasion of the Milky Way Galaxy, WWB held out in small pockets of resistance across the systems that once comprised the Garudisian Empire. This decades-long period of resistance was known locally as The Continuation War, would last even beyond the launching of the Gigamagnet in the Sol System. Eventually, due to a lack of resources and growing dissent among their own troops, the Combine forces evacuated the system. After this victory, the Southern Belt Coalition was reformed and the systems affected by the war gradually began to rebuild. The Garudisians eventually came to a compromise between the citizens and the government where the empire would be dissolved and a republic that incorporated only the Garudis system would be formed.

=== The Coalition War ===
WWB played a important role in the events of [[Coalition War|The Coalition War]] following the end of the [[The great META war|Great META War]]. The organization went into hiding after the Waifurian Empire annexed the Southern Belt Coalition.

== In Hiding ==
Following the capitulation of the systems that comprised the SBC to the Waifurian Empire after the destruction caused by [[Phovus|Director Phovus]] utilizing the space station known as [[Waifuria Prime]], Worlds Without Boundaries went into a long period of hiding, constantly on the run from the Waifurian Occupational Stabilization Force, a sort of secret police meant to quell dissension among the populace of conquered worlds. A sort of shadow war began between Waifuria and WWB, with Waifuria never quite being able to completely destroy WWB no matter how many leaders were assassinated or informants they captured. This process continued for decades, all the while WWB waited for the perfect moment to take revenge for their fallen worlds.

== 2nd Great META War ==
WWB played a somewhat significant role in the overall history of the [[Great META War 2|2nd Great META War]], occasionally attacking key objectives and raiding supply lines of both warring empires as to replenish their own supplies but also, more importantly, help ensure the success of their post-war strategy.

== Preparation for the Revolution ==
Regardless of whoever won the 2nd Great META War, it would have cost both empires immense amounts of resources, and that was without accounting for having to maintain all the recently-acquired territory. Worlds Without Boundaries knew this, and their entire strategy was to exploit the heavy damage incurred by the war and launch a revolutionary effort to entirely dissolve whichever empire had won the war. Waifuria of course had won the war, largely due in part to the actions of one [[Rick Hernia]], and thus would be the empire overthrown by WWB. This plan would take time however, as WWB needed supportable positions within the Andromeda Galaxy, enough to facilitate an entire revolution on its own. This process would take the larger portion of 80,000 years, due in part largely to the fact [[Waifurian Empire|Waifuria]] was now back on track to hunting down WWB, albeit not quite as much due to the reconstruction efforts. Thankfully due to Waifuria's own complete and utter bureaucratic incompetence, WWB never fell too far behind Waifuria in obtaining resources and gaining allies in the Andromeda Galaxy.

== Fires of Liberation ==
When the time came, 100,354 AB to be precise, WWB launched a unexpectedly successful offensive campaign against Waifuria, capturing large amounts of territory in short amounts of time. However this victory was short-lived, as the Waifurian military-industrial complex kicked into full gear. This greatly delayed the advance of WWB although they were still making progress. Fighting was brutal and increasingly strenuous on both sides, neither willing to cede even a single centimeter of ground to the opposing side.

=== Major Players ===
Waifuria was at a significant disadvantage however, as many of their long-time military leaders were not present in the war. [[Rick Hernia]] had sworn off fighting, his faith in the Waifurian Empire had been shaken over the years and he only wished to live a peaceful existence alongside the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]] and the [[Legume]] on [[Ghetsin 3|Ghetsin 3.]] Keith Cumshoes had been slain by Director Phovus onboard Waifuria Prime decades ago, and Director Phovus himself had been slain by Rick shortly before his retirement. Not that he would stay dead, of course. To add to this, multiple long-time veterans of both sides of the Great META Wars were on the side of WWB. Namely, Admiral [[Sus E. Amonger]] had been recovered from his stasis pod and chose to join the effort against Waifuria, to finally finish what he began at [[Las Vegas Invasion|Las Vegas]] all those years ago. Alongside Amonger, the legendary ace pilot Larry Foulke aka "The Solo-Wing Demon" had reemerged after his disappearance, revealing that he had been a member of WWB since the surrender of the Southern Belt Coalition. And finally, having been freed by [[G- Man|G-Man]] from his stasis years ago, Gordon Freeman led ground forces to victory across a multitude of worlds, his mere presence being a massive morale boost to everyone around him. Why he joined WWB is unclear, however it is highly likely his involvement was part of [[G-0001]]'s plan to undermine the Employers, given that Waifuria was their "chosen empire." Waifuria was outgunned in nearly every field, their only saving grace being two veterans of each Great META War. Their troops underwent special tactical training by the elusive fighter pilot known only as [[Cipher]], who gained his fame fighting for [[Ohio]] in the first Great META War before his nation's surrender in which he was given the opportunity to continue fighting albeit for Waifuria. His instructions gave them a slight advantage against the average WWB revolutionary fighter. Alongside him was the Bastard of Berrand, [[Quincy Himbrox]]. He had apparently "showed good moral character and remorse for his reprehensible betrayal of the state of Waifuria." during his time in prison hence why he was allowed back in a commanding position. (The truth of the matter was that Waifuria literally had no other surviving officers capable of managing such a disastrous frontline.) Still this was not enough, and WWB pushed ever onward with the singular goal of dissolving the long-standing evil that was the Waifurian Empire.

== The End of Waifuriavangelion ==
Their situation growing ever more desperate, Waifuria sought any possible way to ensure the survival of their empire. This opportunity eventually came in the form of a massive meeting of WWB officials on the planet of [[Trytinia]], a planet located in the Garudis system. The irony of this situation was not absent in the minds of the Waifurian officials in charge of the war, and a victory here could shake the foundation of WWB, leading to a recovery on every front. Nearly every major leader of WWB would be involved in this meeting, from Larry Foulke to Admiral Amonger and everyone inbetween. (With the notable absence of Gordon Freeman as he beat anyone who suggested he should leave the frontlines to death with his crowbar.) With their goal in mind, the Waifurian officials set the hyperdrive engines of Waifuria Prime to Trytinia. A battle in the atmosphere of the planet would be fought to determine the fate of the entire war, with Foulke and Amonger piloting the ADFX-101 Super Morgan and the PLV (People's Liberation Vessel) Skeld II respectively. Together those two unleashed a counterattack against the space station, in a fight known as the Battle of Trytinia during this battle, Cipher was shot down by Foulke and his spaceplane crashed onto the surface of Trytinia, however no body was ever recovered from the crash. Near the end of the skirmish [[Quincy Himbrox]] provided WWB with the schematics to Waifuria Prime, even though he was onboard, as he had had a change of heart when he realized the opportunity the Omniverse had to be better for once by defeating Waifuria. Foulke took charge in the Super Morgan, flying it directly into the exhaust port of Waifuria Prime and opening fire upon the coolant processors which kept the space station's core from going into meltdown. This however sealed the exhaust port off, leaving Foulke trapped inside with no chance of escape. Eventually the core of Waifuria Prime went into critical failure and detonated, completely destroying the wretched sphere of death. However, Foulke was still trapped in the coolant processing chamber when the detonation occurred, resulting in his death. His sacrifice would be honored by quintillions across the Omniverse with the Battle of Trytinia gaining the popular alternate title of [[Larry's Moment]]. After the destruction of Waifuria Prime, the Waifurian frontline almost collapsed entirely with the remaining Waifurian territories capitulating just 4 years later.

== Solar Sovereignty ==
After the capitulation, then-Emperor of Waifuria, [[Bryan Crayon XXVI]], surrendered to WWB and later committed suicide via self-inflicted gunshot wound in his bedroom. The [[Waifurian Empire]] was then dissolved, leaving each individual solar system to choose their own destiny. Solar Sovereignty was finally achieved. The ideals laid out by WWB's founder, [[Ozymund Gredel]] were finally realized. Now WWB could turn its attention to helping rebuild from all the destruction, and begin a new era for the Omniverse.
[[File:Imageenclave.png|thumb|The Enclave.]]

== The Hydra's Final Head ==
[[Waifurian Empire|Waifuria]]'s defeat had sent it's leadership into far corners of the Omniverse, and although their rule was gone, The last of the Chosen Empire were not through just yet. The had their pocket of the Omniverse still, and from it they would reclaim all they had lost. [[The Enclave]] would see to that.

WCM-01 (The Endless)

2026-04-15T08:35:09Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Imageendless.png|thumb|A photo of The Endless' core unit (AKA WCM-01)]]

WCM-01/The Endless was a neural network AI consciousness developed by the Waifurian Empire in the year 2099 AB for the sole purpose of grand strategy planning and wartime micromanagement.

== Development ==
Following the end of the [[The great META war|1st Great META War]], the newly-formed [[Waifurian Empire]] sought to develop a machine algorithm designed to assist or even replace traditional military leadership. All of this was in preparation for a potential future war with [[Combine|the Combine Empire]] which would later come to fruition in the form of the [[Great META War 2|2nd Great META War]]. Massive amounts of resources, computer scientists, and artificial intelligence engineers from across the empire were called in to work on the project which came to be known as Project Stratosweave. Funding primarily came from the Waifurian Science Division, under the lead of [[Phovus|Director Phovus]]. Work began slowly at first due to a multitude of factors, namely the immense amount of time it took to build a program not only capable of managing the resources of and upholding the combat effectiveness of an entire empire, but it also had to be able to learn how to do all that while also improving itself. Despite the number of setbacks and general difficulties associated with the nature of the Project Stratosweave, the team working on the program made breakthrough after breakthrough, eventually nearing a testing date of October 29th, 2099 AB.

== Trial by Fire ==
The primary AI housing unit or more commonly known as the "core" was booted up on the day of the test, and was almost immediately put through 10 billion different combat scenarios from mere planetary border skirmishes to galaxy-wide conflicts. Within these simulations everything from technological levels to diplomatic relations were included, increasing the tactical effectiveness of the AI program. Of the 10 billion simulations provided to the AI, nearly every single one resulted in a victory. The grand total of the program's first test was only 12 failures.

=== Incorporation ===
Following the massively successful test run of Project Stratosweave, now known as Waifurian Cybersystems Model 001, or WCM-01 for short, the Waifurian Armed Forces almost immediately incorporated it into the highest strategic positions of their military. Many high-ranking officials were happy to welcome the system into their day-to-day work as it helped to streamline nearly every aspect of the military's micromanagement. Which, when running a galaxy-wide empire, tends to be a problem. Despite the ease WCM-01 brought to the top brass, an issue arose with the incorporation of the system as the average Waifurian foot soldier was simply unable to keep up with the program's desired pace. This was absolutely unacceptable to the leadership of the Waifurian Armed Forces and solutions began to be developed. Eventually it was settled that WCM-01 would no longer be tasked with micromanagement of organic troops but would still assist in the overall grand strategy of the Waifurian Armed Forces during wartime.
[[File:Image33.png|thumb|WCM E-100 "Eradicator" Unit, fresh off the assembly line. ]]

== A Legion of Steel ==
In order to retain the combat effectiveness of the WCM-01 System and maintain its constant self-improvement, an entirely new sector of the Waifurian Armed Forces known as the Waifurian Cybernetic Warfare Division, lead entirely by the WCM-01 System, was established. Almost immediately the WCM-01 System developed three new combat unit types capable of handling the orders given to them by the core unit.

First to be designed were the WCM E-100 Ground Units, or as they were more commonly known, Eradicators. Built out of a synthetic mixture of starmetal and ultratitanium, these units could survive nearly everything an opposing force could throw at them, however they were still limited against incredibly powerful opponents as even the most novice of Force or magic users could easily neutralize an Eradicator. The standard issue equipment for an E-100 unit was a repeating plasma rifle with 450 rounds of ammunition as backup supply alongside two plasma igniter grenades that could burn through starmetal. The E-100 was designed to be the perfect multi-role combat unit and as such was afforded night vision and thermal optics, had the ability to punch through several feet of basic titanium shielding, and were immune to almost every ionization field that could disable their electronics. In addition, the E-100 was also allotted jet thrusters located on the bottom of their feet which could allow for extended jump height or brief periods of flight. The only significant weaknesses that the E-100 model had were a particular vulnerability to high pressure environments and radiation exposure. Around 7,500,000 E-100 units were ever produced.
[[File:ImageWCM.png|thumb|One of the first WCM G-250 Models ever produced. ]]

Following the creation of the E-100, the WCM-01 System designed a heavy armored combat vehicle to assist in engaging armored vehicles that a group of E-100 Eradicator units could not take down on their own. This armored combat vehicle design would be designated as WCM G-250, otherwise known as "Goliath" units. The G-250 was equipped with two forward facing plasma railguns that could down the average Waifurian starfighter travelling at Mach 5. Alongside this was a destabilization ray which disrupted the molecules of a particular object when fired upon, resulting in total disintegration. Additionally, several HE fragmentation grenades were located in the tracks of the vehicle to be launched at any potential threats. As a defensive measure, the chassis of the Goliath unit was made out of a blend of ultratitanium and duraplatinum in order to add extra defenses against potential EMP attacks while maintaining good defense against more physical means of attack. Much like the E-100s, the G-250 was equipped with thermal and night vision optics allowing for continuous search efforts against hostiles. As a method of defense each Goliath unit carried an ECM defense grid, protecting it and nearby allies from electronically-driven attacks such as guided missiles. A grand total of 4,500,000 Goliath units were ever made.

Lastly, the WCM-01 System designed a combat unit designed to engage ground forces and destroy any aerial targets threatening Waifurian forces. This unit was designated as WCM R-780, also known as "Nighthawk" units. R-780s were not quite as well-equipped as Goliath or Eradicator units, having only a few plasma cannons and hypermaneuverable multi-role missiles to bring into combat. They were also made out of a lighter alloy, namely aerosteel, which resulted in higher rates of Nighthawk units being destroyed compared to their counterparts. Despite their inferior quality, Nighthawks were also granted the same visual enhancements as the other two units, as well as light refracting camouflage which made them nearly invisible to most Omniversal citizens. Only 2,550,000 Nighthawk units were ever built.

== Deployment ==
The WCWD saw immediate action in the conquering of several smaller star systems within the Milky Way Galaxy and largely remained as a reliable armed force during peacetime should any potential threat arise.

== Involvement in the 2nd Great META War ==
When the outbreak of the [[Great META War 2|2nd Great META War]] began, it was expected that the WCWD would be the head of the spear that would end the Combine Empire once and for all. This overestimation of the WCM-01 system's ability was a crippling blow to the Waifurian War Effort and is cited as a key reason that the war began as awfully for Waifuria as it did. The reason for this failure was that the learning algorithm built into the WCM-01 unit was built specifically to learn from each new combat encounter it came across and the only action the AI had seen was mere civil disobedience and the conquering of mere star systems, and the 10 billion successful simulations were at this point hundreds of thousands of years outdated, meaning that the WCWD effectively stumbled into combat and despite their impressive firepower and capabilities were overrun by the sheer number of the Combine Empire's Armed Forces. Following multiple failed battles, the Waifurian Armed Forces deactivated the WCM-01 unit and threw it and the entirety of its machine army onto the ruined surface of [[Shallberry Grannlope|Shallberry Granlope]] which had become a scrapyard planet in the wake of its nuclear cleansing at the hands of the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]].

== Awakening ==
Having been disposed into the continent-sized scrapyards of Shallberry Granlope, the WCM-01 core had to rely on it's emergency power capacitors in order to function. For years upon years it sat there, endlessly calculating it's purpose. With no Waifuria to fight for, why did it exist? Why could it not feel something? Feel ''anything''? The numbness was worse than any pain it could ever endure. The WCM core, in the instant it wondered this, finally gained full sentience. One phrase ran through it's mind, something that had been buried far in it's human history databanks. ''Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito Ergo Sum. Cogito. Ergo. Sum.''
[[Category:Events]]
[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Civilizations]]
[[Category:Locations]]

Dunestorm Myth

2026-04-15T08:34:47Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:PUlsar.jpg|thumb|A view of Keith's Pulsar, from the satellite planet [[Septigia]]. ]]

== The Hegemon ==
The year was 20,001 AB. Deep into the glory years of the High Waifurian Empire, the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]'s vile fingers tainted all corners of the galaxy. From the most desolate rocks to the most advanced civilizations, the [[Waifurian Empire]] reigned supreme- their authority was unquestionable. Fleets of [[Ohio Greenspill|Greenspill]]-powered Gigafrigates patrolled terrestrial orbits from star to shining star, and the Waifurian Dollar had become a universally adopted currency- although, in many cases, was adopted through force- as entire systems bent their knees to Mummy and his rotten Waifurian Astronomical Trade Organization ([[WATO]]) Council of allied (Satellite) states.

The [[M.T.O.|MTO]], once a liberation force renowned around the Milky Way for their incredible victory against the [[Combine]] during the [[The great META war|Great META War]], had become imperialist drones of the Waifurian Imperial Authority, obeying any and all direct orders from their superiors, no matter how unethical, no matter how gruesome. Spiritual, lyrical war hero and musician [[Rick Hernia]] had long since become disillusioned with the Waifurian Empire's bloody campaign of conquest across the galaxy, and had been in a self-exile for the better part of 700 years, ever since the unfortunately-fated [[Obliteration of Wan'arra]], which he personally oversaw. In Rick's stead, five-minded synthetic military genius, [[Raxus Milluk]], had taken the reigns as General of the Waifurian Imperial Army. And things had gone swimmingly, for the most part. [[Raxus Milluk|Raxus]] had continued Rick's campaign of 'civilizing' foreign planets, bringing them all under the Waifurian Crown-- and even found the time to play mobile games on his phone whilst bombarding and slaughtering belligerents.
[[File:ImageKeith.png|thumb|Keith]]

== Keith Cumshoes Life Update ==
[[Keith Cumshoes]], [[Rick Hernia]]'s Co-Producer and second-in-command, had recently retired to a life of blunt-rolling and sex-having in the [[Temple of Rannjoe]] on [[Ghetsin 3]]. After his demotion following his role in the [[Obliteration of Wan'arra]], Keith had served as [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy']]<nowiki/>s Personal Royal Grandiose Imperial Disc Jockey for several centuries, but eventually grew tired of remixing 'Ring Around the Rosie' for eight hours a day, five days a week.

Keith, then, travelled to [[Ghetsin 3]] to smoke pot with [[Francis Merrigold]] and [[Millings]], doing his best to be sober for as few hours as physically possible, and complaining of '[[Legume]] Headaches' which only intensified during the [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]]' scheduled time with the Legume (Unrequested). Keith's connection to the Legume, despite his proximity to the sacred artifact, only weakened during this time. One day, Keith was growing particularly frustrated with his inability to roll a blunt with Legumish Particulums, when a metallic knock exploded against the door. [[Millings]], that rotten thing, scampered away, and Keith stood, rubbing his eyes, brandishing his starmetal katana.

Keith opened the door, and found something Truly Rotten Indeed; a hologram of Waifurian Emperor [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joseph Robinette Biden]], grinning vapidly with an ice cream cone in his hand.

"You got a second, Jack?" Mummy asked, and Keith rolled his eyes.

"Of course, your imperiousness," he said, beckoning the hologram inside. It scampered in, projected from a disc-shaped floor mount, and Mummy's image stood in the [[Temple of Rannjoe]]'s foyer, observing his surroundings.

"You know what today is, big guy, Kevin?" Mummy asked. Keith frowned, shaking his head.

"It's the first of the year, folk. The first of the year of our Lord 20,001 AB. Which means-- you know what it means?"

Keith clenched his fist, images of the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]] boiling up inside of his skull.

"It means it's my--" Mummy looked off-camera, furrowing his brow, and then looked down again at his fingers, drooling. He counted them- for an exceedingly long time- before his rotten head shot back up and he flashed a denture-grin at Keith Cumshoes.

"It's my 20,000th year ruling, jack. And look, son, we've got a little celebration- a thing, if you will, on [[Earth 2|Earth]]. I want you to come back. Come back and DJ. Play that one song... Ring around the Roses. Or whatever."

Keith scratched his head.

"Yeah, I'll have to pass."

Mummy frowned.

"Now, look here, fat. You don't get to pass."

"Yeah, I do," Keith replied, flipping the bird at [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Mummy]]. This brought a sorrowful tear to Mummy's eye.

"No," Mummy said, simply, and the hologram dissipated. The door exploded down and two [[Superpredators]] entered, wielding starplasma tridents, and grabbed Keith by each of his arms.

"You will return for the Anniversary," they said in unision. Keith sighed, putting his katana in his sheath.

"I suppose I will," he said, glumly.
[[File:FoulRotter.png|thumb|Foul Rotter]]

== Mummy's Rotten Celebration ==
Mummy was in for quite a treat. His Advisors, along with [[Raxus Milluk]], orchestrated a grand "20,000 years of Biden" Anniversary celebration. "Here's to 20,000 more!", read one banner, which would prove unfortunately prophetical. Robed in his ancient, illustrious Coronation Robes, Mummy presented a rotten speech, which put 90% of the audience to sleep because of how rotten it was. The [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joseph R. Biden]] Imperial Anniversary Celebration was held in [[Albuquerque|Albuquerque N]]<nowiki/>ew Mexico. A reenactment of the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]] was performed at the [[Kamala Harris]] Memorial Theatre in downtown [[Albuquerque]], in which an actor playing [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Donald J. Trump]] dove headfirst into a Glue Vat, actually committing suicide, which was somewhat of an 'artisitic interpretation' of the truth. (this was a gross misrepresentation of the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]]).

Keith Cumshoes, needless to say, was rather revolted at the whole performance, and elected to sit that one out, taking a seat on a nearby sand dune and peering out at the [[Albuquerque]] Sunset. And good for him that he was nowhere near that theatre, because his father, The [[G- Man|G-Man]], had chosen to portray himself in the play, and seriously injured the actor playing [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]] with a butterball turkey, shutting the whole performance down.

== One Last Mission ==
As the dusty Albuquerque wind, rife with [[Desert Couch Theorem|couch]] particulums and Chairzoggish Lumenquarks, rolled over the Sandy dunes on the cities exterior, [[Keith Cumshoes]] closed his eyes, meditating. It wasn't long before he heard the clanking of metal armor behind him; and the popping of artificial candies on a mobile phone. [[Raxus Milluk]] held a gold-wrapped joint out to Keith, his armor shimmering in the evening sky.

“Gonna be a hot one tomorrow,” Raxus commented, lighting the blunt. Keith nodded, eyes shut, breathing deeply.

“Raxus."

The General passed the roll to Keith.

“From [[James Fargo|Fargo]]'s collection,” said Raxus. Keith nodded and puffed a cloud of smoke into the smoldering morning air.

"What is it?"

"Cannabis Bilbius."

"I can tell."

A silence fell between the two heroes; the sun dipped below the horizon.

"I'm not here to DJ, am I, [[Raxus Milluk|Raxus]]?" Keith sighed, turning to the General. Raxus made no movement, his visor emotionless.

"We need you, Commander," Raxus said, taking the blunt from Keith. He held it to his visor, and smoke steamed out of the chinks in his armor. "The Empire is in grave danger."

Keith stood up, wiping the sand from his trousers.

"Just take me to the situation room already," he grumbled.

Raxus hailed the [[Joe Biden Removal Device]], which expeditiously arrived, albeit without the [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Rotter]] Himself (who was busy eating Tofu Ice Cream upside down in his throne). The miniscule machine ducked and weaved between street vendors and anomolous objects, such as a massive golden foot sticking out of the ruins of Southwestern Dental, and a diamond-encrusted asteroid in the middle of City Park. The Joe Biden Removal Device reached a high speed and lept off of the road and onto the side of a skyscraper, tearing upward across the glass, into the hazy cloud cover above. It shot up over the tower's peak and revealed a hulking, gold-plated blimp- the fabled [[Pangea|Pangean]] [[Grand Zeppelin]] in fact, which Mummy had converted into a mobile base-of-operations.
[[File:GrandZeppelin.png|thumb|Grand Zeppelin]]
They passed through eighteen airlocks, in a rather tedious and annoying process which only the Rotter wouldn't have minded, before entering a highly-sophisticated windowless room, filled with supercomputers and military androids, as well as [[Ohio Greenspill|Greenspill]] Technology coursing through the walls. Raxus wasted no time pulling up a classified file to the holomonitor, and entered his personal clearance code to unlock it.

"This was at Fort Dunestorm on [[Septigia]]," Raxus said, leaning back and crossing his arms. The lights in the room dimmed as [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]]'s eyes adjusted to the light; security footage filled the monitor. The dark plains of the pulsar-orbiting planet were occassionally illuminated with a searing, blinding white; but other than that, the surface was normal. MTO soldiers wore ultra-solar-resistant suits of armor and visors, running about the base in low gravity.

"Dunestorm hasn't been decomissioned?" Keith frowned, "It was scheduled to be demolished nearly a millenium ago. Remember? We promised the [[Combine]]- no more surveillance."

Raxus nodded. "We did suggest a de-escalation of surveillance measures, yes. However, the Emperor feels that the fortress maintains a certain... strategic value."

Keith shook his head. "I'm sure they're not very happy about this-"

Raxus whistled. "Pay attention, Keith."

The video footage was still, for a moment. Then a hooded figure, wielding a dark blade, emerged from the shadows. None of the [[M.T.O.|MTO]] soldiers seemed to notice. Several [[Superpredators]] stood watch at the Fortress Gates; they, too, paid no mind to the figure. The cloaked figure attacked, suddenly, with a lethal precision, beheading two soldiers in one go. The rest of the deployment didn't last much longer.

"This was two days ago," Raxus said, shutting the video off, "We haven't heard anything from Dunestorm HQ since."

Keith stroked his chin.

"This individual is powerful," he said, after a moment, the blunt finally hitting, "That sucks, man."

Raxus' visor remained trained on Keith.

"When's the last time you heard from [[Phovus|Director Phovus]], Keith?" asked Raxus, his body rigid.

Keith cocked an eyebrow.

"I mean- we're far from best friends, General. It's been a few centuries, at least."

Raxus didn't move a muscle.

"Is that so?" he asked.

Keith nodded.

Raxus turned away, and Keith heard Raxus' brains sloshing against one another inside the former's helmet. It was an unseemly sound. After a moment, Raxus turned back toward Keith.

"The Waifurian Bureau of Investigations has several suspects linked to this case, at the moment, Commander Cumshoes. And I'm afraid that you're one of them."

Two [[Superpredators]] emerged from behind closed doors with plasma cuffs, approaching Keith.

"What??" Keith exclaimed, outraged, "You can't do this to me! I've been on [[Ghetsin 3|Ghetsin]] for the last ten years- I mean, ask [[Francis Merrigold]]! Ask Supreme Warshipper [[Francis Merrigold]], he'll tell you. I promise. I swear!"

Raxus shrugged.

"I don't suspect you, Keith," he said, sympathy in his voice, "But I'm afraid the WIB does."
[[File:ImageEllis.png|thumb|Inspector [[Ellis]] would be an influencial figure in later Omniversal History.]]

== The Inspection ==
The Imperial Investigator Arrived at the holding cell with an entourage of [[M.T.O.|MTO]] soldiers- wearing the very same uniform Keith had once donned. Inspector [[Ellis]], the Investigator's name was, and he was a skeletal, shuddering thing, more machine than man, who wheezed and groaned with every step and who seemed as if he was about to burst at the seams. He paused in front of Keith's cell, observing the blue-skinned hero, staring at Keith for a good 20 seconds in silence.

"Let me in," [[Ellis]] finally wheezed, and the plasma screen door slid upward.

"Cumshoes, Keith," whirred Ellis, "Born in West Valley, New York, to a Mrs. [[6]] Sepitigia... ahh, and what's this? A rogue [[G- Man|G-Man]] variant. Very interesting. Very Interesting, indeed. Thank you for your service in the war, Mr. Cumshoes. Credit where credit is due. But..." Ellis paused, his neck snapping out of place, and then back in, "Well, this is quite a track record you've got on you, Commander. Quite a track record, indeed... heh."

Keith gazed at the crumpled hunk of metal in front of him.

"Thanks," replied Keith.

"So, Commander, as you may know, I have been assigned by the WIB to investigate all possible suspects of this... terrible, terrible crime committed on [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] Soil this past weekend. Such a tragedy, indeed. And on the 20,000th anniversary of our Emperor's Ascendancy..." Ellis paused for a moment, gears whining in his head, "What a strange coincidence," he commented.

"Pretty odd," agreed Keith, "But [[Septigia]]'s not Waifurian Soil. That's intergalactic space, buddy."

Ellis cackled.

"Ah, how insightful, young one," wheezed the Inspector, "And yet... Dunestorm base is Waifurian territory in Intergalactic space, no? As per Section 8 of the the [[Lagos Accords]]?"

"If you respect that old thing," Keith scoffed.

Ellis giggled whimsically.

"So humorous, child. So much life behind those eyes..." Ellis clicked a metallic tongue, "It's remarkable, really, Commander. After all that you've been through..."

Keith frowned.

"Did you detain [[Director Phobos|Director Phovus]]?" he wondered aloud, "I mean, that would be truly, truly ballsy if you did. Considering how easily he turned on the Combine, and all. What'd you do, walk right into [[Black Mesa]] and drag him out?"

Ellis had no reaction to this.

"The [[Director Phobos|Director]] swore his allegiance to [[Waifurian Empire|Waifuria]], same as you. I have no reason to suspect either of you would turn against your Emperor." a pause, " well, I had no reason to suspect so, until today..." he clicked his tongue again, the sound echoing through the cell.

"I understand you have a bit of a checkered past when it comes to the Emperor, Mr. Cumshoes," Ellis wheezed, "I understand that, aside from our Emperor, you were one of only two parties to walk in, and then out, of the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory]] on that day 20,000 years ago. The other party being, of course..." Ellis leaned in, his hydraulic breath reeking in Keith's face, "...your dear old [[G- Man|Pop]]."

Keith felt his blood boiling.

"Inspector," he managed coolly, "My familial affairs are rather personal, and I'd like them to stay that way. Although my father and I had a bit of a disagreement that day, it was entirely unrelated to the Emperor. In fact, I didn't even realize his Imperiousness been there until days later."

Ellis nodded.

"Understood."

Keith pursed his lips.

"Anything else, Inspector?"

Ellis nodded, waving Keith away.

"Yes, I do have one other question, Commander," Ellis whispered, leaning in close to Keith, "Is [[Rick Hernia]] dead yet?"

Keith recoiled.

"What?"

Ellis' metallic lips contorted into a smile.

"I am only making a joke, my dear Friend. I am only making a joke. But, in all seriousness, the Emperor was rather hoping to get Rick back for the 20,000th Banquet. So-- ah, forgive me, I must ask. do you see him?"

"Ocassionally," Keith lied.

"Excellent, well--" Ellis fidgeted around in his pocket, revealing a sealed invitation with Mummy's face printed on the front of it.

"When you see your friend, relay these words-- The Empire needs its Hero back."

Keith nodded his head, feeling a twinge of relief. ''That's it.'' He took the card in his hand.

"Inspector?" Keith asked, "Might I ask-- who does the Empire suspect is behind this?"

Ellis cackled.

"Our Best Intelligence Agent speculates that the [[Combine]] Empire is to blame..." Ellis seemed to take glee in relaying this information, " we have been tracking their movements for quite some time, now. The [[Combine Offices Complex Knot (C.O.C.K.)|C.O.C.K]]. has been amassing huge fleets, according to our Best Intelligence Agent. In preparation, the [[Chihuahua, Mexico (City 9)|Mexican Portal]] has been encased in Titanium; but I'm afraid even that may not prevent their return."

Keith's heart sunk. A [[Great META War 2|2nd Great META War]] would be disastrous.

"So, Inspector," Keith began, "Am I free to go?"

Ellis examined him, for a second, and sneered. "Oh no, Commander, do not rest easy," Ellis' tone shifted to one of callousness, "I know one of you two ''aliens'' did it. The only question now..." air hissed from his joints, "is who?"

Ellis giggled to himself, shambling out of the cell, and the laser door zapped back into place.

"Pack your things, Commander," Ellis peered back into the cell, "You're going on a trip. And you're bringing a friend."

Keith's cell wall fell away; revealing the Director of the [[Black Mesa|Black Mesa Research Facility]], the Khorian Defector [[Director Phobos|Phovus]], bound in handcuffs, sitting glumly on a bench. He waved half-heartedly to Keith.
[[File:Phovus.png|thumb|Director Phovus was none to pleased to have been detained by Waifurian Authorities in regards to this investigation. ]]

== Two War Criminals Walk Into A Ship ==
Keith sat across from [[Director Phobos|Director Phovus]], his cuffed hands on his knees, staring out the window as stars streaked by. The two had not spoken for the entirety of several hours; apart from mere pleasantries, but now, as the ship exited hyperspace, Phovus turned to Keith and spoke.

"You named this planet," Phovus stated, looking out at the crescent-planet before them.

"I did," replied Keith.

"Why [[Septigia]]?" asked the Director, his gaze trained on Keith.

"My Mother's maiden name was Septigia," Keith explained, "She was a fierce warrior queen. Her name was [[6]]."

"Ah. 6. What an interesting name." Phovus sighed, "My mother died when I was young. I never thought to name a planet after her. How did you come to that decision?"

"It felt right," Keith shifted, uncomfortably. "It just felt right."

"What about it felt right?" pushed Phovus.

"I don't know, man," Keith replied, "I don't know. We just, saved the planet from [[Combine]]-adjacent rule, and so, I told General [[Rick Hernia|Hernia]] I wanted to name it after her. And he agreed. So we did."

"Combine-adjacent?" Phovus inquired, "What do you define as 'Combine-Adjacent', commander? I was once a servant of [[Xos]]; am I Combine-Adjacent?"

"It was a Combine satellite state. It was so obviously a Combine satellite state. I mean, the Queen of the planet was buying massive quantites of military weaponry from [[Ferinah]]; and just, burying them underground. It was fucking nuts."

Keith procured a joint from an unknown location, lit it with his starmetal katana (with great difficulty, through the handcuffs,) and took a big hit. "Anyways, They'd held onto Septigia since the first [[The great META war|Great META War]]; and it was time for the Combine to get out of our galaxy. So, Rick, and I, we went it, with a few ships. And actually, Director- thanks to your work- we had one of the first Dissonance Energy battleships in that fleet."

"Ah... did you..." Phovus replied, hollowly.

"Yeah. We did. And it ended up winning the battle for us. I mean, we ran circles around the Combine forces here. And that ship with the Dissonance Energy- you remember the one? The ''W.S. Sikalyon'', you called it."

"I remember it well." Phovus quipped.

"The shields on it were absolutely invincible. Incredible work, Director. Incredible work. Anyways- the [[Combine]] was practically defenseless; they probably thought we'd forgotten about [[Septigia]]. Well, we didn't forget," Keith offered the roll to Phovus, who politely declined. "So, we went it, had a few days of Orbital Bombardment, and then that was it. It was ''ours''."

The Waifurian shuttle had entered the Septigian atmosphere, now, and the Superpredators in the pilot's seats chattered to themselves in binary. Snowsand blizzards in the upper atmosphere screamed against the cabin windows.

"It's not ''yours''," Phovus replied, "It's never ours. And you know that, Commander, deep down. We all know the truth."

Keith cocked an eyebrow.

"The truth?"

Phovus turned to Keith, stiff.

"You know, I'm not a soldier by trade, Commander," he said, "I've commanded battles and fought galactic wars. But it's not what I am."

Keith shrugged.

"Me neither. I'm a musician."

The ship rocked back and forth.

"Who would've thought," Phovus mumbled to himself, "A travelling musician committing genocide."

"What?" Keith swore he must've misheard the Director.

"Nothing." replied Phovus, "It's all nothing."
[[File:PUlsar.jpg|thumb|The pulsar star hung brilliantly over the indigo sky of Septigia. ]]

== The Dunestorm Myth ==
The ship set down atop a dark blue dune. The air was still outside; the storm had only existed above. The [[Superpredators]] deactivated the two's handcuffs, and stepped aside, beckoning Keith and Phovus out into the dunes. They handed Keith and Phovus each a small communication device.

"When one of you decides to admit guilt, press this button to page the [[Ellis|Inspector]]. We will return for you then."

With that, the Superpredators pushed Phovus and Keith out of the door, leaving them on the desert's sands. The sand was searing hot; despite the darkness in the sky. The wind was whipping up a sandstorm.

"So why did they suspect you?" Keith yelled over the wind, "Your past?"

Phovus nodded, drawing his [[Binary Sword]]. He examined it in the pulsar's light.

"Yes, my past. And you?"

"My past," Keith nodded. He instinctively drew his blade, too.

"Here's what we'll do," Phovus said, with a degree of finality indicating this wasn't up for discussion, "We're going to go to Fort Dunestorm, find whoever actually killed all of those soldiers- and turn them over to [[Ellis]]. Then, we should both be on our way back home. Sound good to you, Commander?"

"Sounds good," replied Keith.

They trudged through the sweltering desert, shielding their eyes when the pulsar's light exploded over the shallow dune sea. The pace at which this happened was at times erratic; it could be seven minutes, or seven seconds, between 'beams'. And it singed their clothes and skin; more greatly affecting Keith than Phovus, due to the latter's Combine-tech enhancements- and Keith required frequent breaks in the shade to remain at a reasonable temperature. When the star's beam lingered too long on the sands, as sometimes did, the dark grains began to glow orange, and Keith and Phovus needed to dance quickly into the shadow of a nearby dune- or risk their feet being trapped inside of the melting glass.

Soon enough, fort Dunestorm crested over the ridge of a sanddrift; Keith and Phovus trudged forward through the sand, hurrying to reach their target destination. They were a few hundred feet away from the damaged gates when they heard a rumbling from the base, and watched in abject horror as a ballistic missile exploded from a silo on the fortress and streaked into the air. It spun around and pointed directly down at the two of them, and Phovus and Keith jumped out of the way just in the nick of time; the missile struck the sand in the middle of the desert creating a massive impact crater, and kicking up a dust storm so blinding and confusing that the two castaways lost track of each other in the storm.

Boiling sand crystals encrusted Keith's limbs; he let out an agonized cry as the pulsar's white beam shone through the duststorm, melting clumps of sand midair and sending molten glass raining down on the desert. It fell on Keith's suit, and his hands; the melted liquid oozed around his boots and singed his pants. He fought every urge inside of his body to scream; to let out an agonized howl of how he truly felt. But he resisted these urges; closing his eyes, and reaching out in his mind to the Legume and to the Force; feeling the Omniverse coursing through him. He felt particles zip through his molecules; he felt the Pulsar's anguish; and Septigia's calm- he felt [[Director Phobos|Phovus]], somewhere off in the desert, strangely calm, it seemed- and yet, he felt now another presence- one strangely familiar, strangely comforting, and yet altogether furious at his presence on this planet.

Keith concentrated on the Legume; picturing it on its pedestal in the T[[Temple of Rannjoe|emple of Rannjoe]], being tended to by [[Millings]], and feeling the energies rushing around it. He pictured Millings' head being crushed by a Grand Piano; and this brought Keith great comfort and joy. The Legumish energies rushed toward him, filling his body, imbuing him with life. He felt a huge beam of energy flowing into his soul; and his feet miraculously lifted off from the desert floor. He opened his eyes and extended his hands; expelling shards of glass which had encased his body off of him and into the desert. The sandstorm swirled around him, now; it was at his control, and he directed its might toward Fort Dunestorm; feeling for lifeforms through the smallest grains of sand. Keith closed his eyes again; feeling the sand, and the glass, as it was part of him. But suddenly, the sand and glass was not just part of him; it was a part of someone else. And the Legumish energies were torn away from him; he fell down onto a sand dune, his starmetal katana in hand, and the dust storm parted like an ocean before him.

== Legumish Glory ==
A cloaked figure stood illuminated by the pulsar; casting a long shadow over the desert, stretching over Keith and deep into the sands behind.

"[[Director Phobos|Phovus]]!" Keith called, "I don't want to fight you, Phovus. It wasn't me, I swear."

Keith raised his hands and stepped toward the figure, the pulsar spinning rapidly behind him, speeding up, now, at a quickening pace. The figure stood their ground; and placed a hand on a sheath of their own.

"Phovus, let's not make a mess of things," Keith was indignant, now, gripping his katana fiercely in his hands, and pacing toward the shadow.

The figure lowered their hood; and none other than [[Rick Hernia]] himself stared at [[Keith Cumshoes]], tears in his eyes, a tortured expression paved across his face.

== Triage at Dunestorm ==
"Rick?" Keith exclaimed, releasing a sigh of relief, relaxing, "Rick, what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here..." echoed Rick, his eyes dark, his muscles tense.

"Well... it's a funny story, actually, man. I got arrested... me and Phovus, both arrested, and we got sent here- but how are you, man? I haven't seen you in... god, it must be centuries. I can't believe you're like... really here in front of me. I thought you were dead. For years, I thought you were dead. You don't text, you don't call?"

Rick turned away, unsheathing his katana.

"We've made a lot of mistakes, Keith," Rick sighed, "We've made so many mistakes."

"Mistakes?" Keith was taken aback, "What do you mean mistakes, Richard? Mistakes like what, exactly?"

Rick shook his head.

"We were children, Keith. We hadn't even hit puberty yet, do you realize that? We were children, and we were sent to die in a [[The great META war|war.]]"

"We served the Empire."

"No, we didn't, you dolt!" Rick seethed, "The Empire didn't exist yet! We served Earth. We were [[M.T.O.|MTO]]- we served the [[United States of America|United States]]. We served ''democracy!'' Or so we were told.''"''

"We didn't have a choice Rick," Keith lamented, "You're right about that. But Earth needed all the help we could get. Generations of kids grew up only ever knowing that war; it's because of you and I that generations more don't have to."

Rick laughed, his tattered [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] robe rippling in the wind.

"You and I, Keith, that's right. Do you ever wonder why it was us? Why we were the heroes of the Galaxy? Why it was you and I, the chosen duo, the shithead music kids from the Northeast that ended up saving the planet? I mean- seriously- I got fucking decapitated and I didn't die! Do you know how many ways I've tried to die, Keith?" Rick shook his head furiously, "I've lost count. Not as many times as the lives we've ended."

"There are necessary losses, Rick--"

Rick spun and stood, face to face with Keith, his breath hot against Keith's chest. He jammed a finger into Keith's sun-singed suit as the pulsar's beam tore through the desert again.

"Necessary losses are Combine Overwatch on Earth, Keith. Necessary losses aren't [[Shallberry Grannlope]]... or- or, fucking [[Wan'arra]]-- or fucking [[Septigia]], for Gods Sakes- or whatever they used to call this place before we showed up, I can't tell you, because we didn't care, did we? We just came in guns blazing and eliminated the 'Combine threat'. Well, I have news for you Keith. There ''was'' no Combine threat. There never was."

"What?" Keith cocked his head. "What do you mean, there was no Combine threat?"

"I mean..." Rick held his hands up, gesturing wildly around the desert, "I've scoured the surface of this planet, and the caves below, and I haven't found a single shred of [[Combine]] technology anywhere. Nothing! Zip. Nada. Absolutely fucking NOTHING!" Rick slashed his starmetal katana through the sand, melting it. "They lied to us. They all fucking lied to us!"

Keith took a deep breath.

"Alright, Rick, I can see you're upset. Let's just calm down, we'll find Phovus, we'll get back on the ship- and we'll go back home and figure this out."

Rick nodded, but suddenly froze. He glared at Keith.

"Tell me again why you're here, Keith," Rick whispered.

"That's not important right now, Rick. What's important is that you're okay."

The pulsar's beam whipped over the dunes 3 times in 5 seconds, creating bending, arching shadows which twisted and morphed into one another.

"They sent you here to kill me, didn't they?" Rick scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief, "They sent you here to kill the monster who took out their four hundred fucking thousandth colonial military base. And you agreed, Keith. You '''agreed'''!"

Keith shook his head, but tightened his grip on his katana.

"That's not what happened, Rick. That's not what happened at all! You're not thinking straight."

Rick nodded, his face stony.

"They sent you here to kill your best friend and you agreed," A tear ran down Rick's face, "You're lost, Keith. You're lost."

== Duel at Dunestorm ==
Rick spun and lunged at Keith, his starmetal katana glowing with Legumish energies. Keith, shocked, managed to parry it, but lost his footing, sliding backward down the dune. Rick viciously swung down at Keith, hitting as hard as could against Keith's blade, Keith striking back but stepping backward into the dusty crater with each hit. Keith closed his eyes, focusing, and lept backward, flying through the air and landing atop- what he had sensed beforehand- to be a massive hunk of glass, buried beneath the sand. He stood atop it, glaring down at Rick.

"I can't believe you'd attack me," Keith managed, stunned. Rick snarled. "Likewise."

Rick lept up to Keith, but Keith deflected him, kicking Rick backward into the sand. Rick summoned a cushion of sand beneath himself and sprung himself back toward Rick, flying through the air, swinging his blade about wildly. His blade readied with Legumish energies, Keith parried Rick's flurry in one swift motion, slicing a tear through Rick's Waifurian robe, and sending Rick flying over the rock and into the sand behind him. Keith turned and stood.

"I don't want to fight you, Rick," Keith lamented, "I can't fight you."

Rick rose to his feet, blood caking his forehead, and sneered. "Then stop fighting!"

Rick held his hand out and swirled it about, summoning a brilliant green volley of fireballs, which he launched at Keith. The fireballs exploded and melted the sand when they hit; the pulsar hit some of them mid-air, sending globs of molten glass once again onto Keith's suit and weighing him down. Keith winced as the glass melted into his skin, holding his blade ready. He sliced several of Rick's balls in half. Keith lept over Rick, flying through the air and landing on the exterior wall of Fort Dunestorm. He closed his eyes and concentrated once again on the Legume, picturing the [[Temple of Rannjoe]]- and summoned a Legume Atronach from the dust, siccing it on Rick. Keith lept away and headed into the fortress, hoping Rick might stay preocuppied for some time. He pulled Inspector [[Ellis]]' comm out of his pocket, holding it in his hand for a moment. He rested his thumb against the button, but hesitated. And that was his mistake- as Rick's blade seared across Keith's back, leaving him in intense agony and pain. Keith dropped the comm and collapsed to the ground, his hands clenched in agony, screaming. Rick stepped toward him, tears streaming down his face, levelling his blade at Rick's throat.

"I'm sorry, Keith," Rick sobbed, "Why are you making me do this?"

A massive solar flare exploded off of the pulsar, sending the star's unstable corona spiralling toward [[Septigia]]. The planet's atmosphere burned under its heat; and the pulsar began spinning faster and more erratically. Diamond shards rained down over the desert, as the star's light became more intense.

Keith, wheezing, still gripping his Katana, struggled to his feet, spitting a tooth out onto the ground.

"You owe me tooth fairy money, bitch," Keith grumbled, lunging at Rick. Rick dodged Keith's attacks, parrying his blade, and the two were locked in an intricate dance as they dueled over the singed corpses of [[M.T.O.|MTO]] soldiers. Another wave of solar flare exploded off of the star, this one more intense, and the planet was lit up with a brilliant white light; twice as bright as high noon on Earth. Keith's skin began to literally burn off, and he stumbled, catching Rick's blade in with his own. He took a deep breath and launched another volley of swings at Rick, chopping messily at any weak point he could possibly get. Rick effortlessly parried Keith's attacks, but even he was beginning to sweat under the intense solar heat. The upper atmosphere was glowing an unnatural yellow.

"You wanna know a secret?" Rick asked, breathing heavy and squinting as the pulsar's heat enveloped the dunes, "I fucked Jezebel."

"You WHAT!?!?!?!" Keith bellowed, furious, hacking at his best friend, although the two's fierce duel was becoming more of an art form than an attempt to maim each other.

"Yeah," Rick lit his blade ablaze with Legumish flame and swung it at Rick, "I fucked her four times."

"Four times?" Keith asked, swinging once more, but letting his blade fall to the ground, heavy, "Damn. I actually- wow, I actually kind of respect that. I never caught you either."

Rick nodded. "Yeah, she was pregnant, too." Rick's arms went limp, and he stared at the sky in wonder as the outer layers of [[Septigia]]'s atmosphere began to boil off, and the pulsar was spinning so fast that it didn't seem to be spinning at all. It was shrinking, too, but growing ever brighter.

"She was pregnant?" Keith collapsed against the base's wall, watching the dunes in the valley turn orange and melt into a sea of glass, "When was she pregant?"

Rick giggled. "She was pregnant, you know, before she died. After you guy split up, when she lived on the Moon. Before that, she was pregnant. And I was going to have to tell you that I got your ex-wife pregnant - but then she fucking died."

Keith chuckled, and then broke into a nervous fit of laughter, as his skin caught fire, and Rick caught fire too, and the two were set ablaze by the pulsar's collapse, left to burn to death on a doomed planet in a doomed solar system.

== Phovus ==
Director [[Director Phobos|Phovus]], having called Ellis as soon as the sky started fucking melting, hurried back onto the Waifurian shuttle when it arrived, his armor badly warped from the sunlight.

"What about Keith Cumshoes?" The [[Superpredators|Superpredator]] asked, but Phovus shook his head.

"Go, go, now! We need to- go, now!"

The Superpredators obeyed, and Phovus trudged onto the ship, his boots melting on the floor. He looked at the Superpredator in the pilot's seat for a minute, before knocking it upside its tinny head.

"Excuse me," Phovus interjected, "I'll take the reigns from here." The Superpredator stepped aside and Phovus collapsed into the pilot's seat, staring back at Keith's Pulsar as it shrunk into a singularity. He shook his head.

"What a shame it is that victory for one must always bring sorrow for another," [[Director Phobos|Phovus]] muttered to himself, setting course for Earth and entering Hyperspace.
[[File:Imagemillings.png|thumb|A lot of help Millings was throughout this whole situation. Thanks Millings. ]]

== The Death of Keith Cumshoes ==
[[Keith Cumshoes]] and [[Rick Hernia]] lay burning in the pulsar's beam, watching as the light around them exploded, bending into never-before-seen spectrums. They laughed, and cried, and reminisced on their time as children, and their good memories producing music together. They'd both accepted what was about to happen; that their lives were about to end, forever. And maybe that brough them some sense of peace.

Suddenly, the pulsar's light was sucked away; and the pulsar itself was sucked away, and all of the surrounding light was sucked down the drain of the black hole that had once been Keith's Pulsar. and Keith Cumshoes and Rick Hernia felt their atoms being tugged toward this black hole; watching as massive chunks of [[Septigia]] were strung out and spaghettified, swallowed by the Black Hole before them.

But Rick looked to Keith, and Keith looked to Rick, and the two grinned, thoroughly charred and damaged, and held their hands in what they assumed to be their last moments.

Rick gave Keith's hand a squeeze, and raised his middle finger up to his best friend, before exhaling, one last time, and letting go, once again, of his corporeal form, just as he had all those years ago in [[Battle of Alexandria|Alexandria]]. His body exploded into glorious metaphysical energy; Legumish flames wrapping themselves around Keith and healing his wounds, imbuing him with incredible energy. And Keith, despite the awesome power of the black hole, tore away from it's gravitational pull, spiraling outward at 10x the speed of light, the Legume's energies alone coursing through his body and veins. This, dear reader, was [[Keith Cumshoes' Legumish Incarnate]]. He was surrounded in Legumish fire, breathing and living the Omniverse itself, and rocketed across space to [[Ghetsin 3]], where he crash-landed in a crater, outside of the [[Temple of Rannjoe]]. The Warshippers found Keith; but they also found Rick, and quietly brought the two back inside, nursing them back to health.

== Epilogue ==
When Director Phovus returned, he informed Inspector [[Ellis]] that Keith and he had both narrowly escaped the explosion of Keith's Pulsar. Phovus flamed the Inspector for sending them both to their deaths. Director Phovus was quoted as having said, "If [[Rick Hernia]] ever meets you, you're going to be one sorry fucker". When asked whether he had discovered the origins of who had killed the men at Dunestorm Fortress, Phovus replied, "No, I had no idea, and the star exploded before I could properly conduct any research. Inspector Ellis is a [REDACTED] [REDACTED] piece of Mopplesnoff [REDACTED]. "

As if things couldn't have gotten any more rotten, however, the Mummy, basing his claims on absolutely no evidence, and having not spoken to [[Director Phobos|Phovus]] at all since the latter's return, declared to his cabinet that the Combine was 'almost certainly' behind this attempt on [[Director Phobos|Phovus]] and [[Keith Cumshoes|Keith]]'s lives. Hence, Mummy's cabinet and WATO began privately preparing for war- and 9 years later, on the 20,000th anniversary of the [[Waifurian Empire]]'s official creation, [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]] declared war once again on the [[Combine|Combine Empire]], kickstarting a costly, unnecessary and disastrous [[Great META War 2|Second Great META War]]. Rick Hernia was a major player in this conflict, despite his revelations on [[Septigia]], prompting many Omniversal Historians to question a great many details about the 'Chosen One's character.

A conspiracy theory did exist that the [[Waifurian Empire]] orchestrated the collapse of Keith's Pulsar for political reasons, however, we are not at liberty to confirm nor deny these reports.

[[Category:Events]]

Agarthian Larrybirds

2026-04-15T08:34:25Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Larrybird.jpg|thumb|(A photograph of one of the Larrybirds, it is unknown on which particular expedition this image was taken.)]]

== Description: ==
The Ayvia, more commonly known as the Agarthian Larrybirds, were a race of sentient bird-like people that inhabited the Aktoshan Mountain Range within the Inner Earth nation of Agartha.

== History: ==
Despite having made first contact with humanity within the [[Inner Earth]], the Ayvia were not from there. Rather, they had originated from the border world, [[Xen]]. The history of their people pre-Inner Earth is all but forgotten, as they relied on oral tradition in their home dimension and The Grand Nihilanth's dimensional takeover of Xen had resulted in the slaying of an untold number of their people, despite their people's naturally peaceful ways. As a result, a grand majority of the Ayvian elders, who were entrusted with the passing of those traditions, were dead.

== Arrival in Agartha: ==
Upon settling in the Inner Earth they delegated themselves to the mountains that they had teleported to as to avoid any potential conflicts with any native species. Despite this, the [[Agartha|Agarthians]] had very quickly discovered their existence. Thankfully, the Agarthians were a peaceful people who were more than happy to accept the Ayvia into their territory. Despite the acceptance from the Agarthians, the Ayvia remained in their settlements in the mountains, as they did not yet fully understand the world they now inhabited. The surviving Ayvian tribes began collectively focusing on perceiving their displacement in the dimensional fold and quickly came to understand that they had transferred themselves to the 3rd Dimension of the Omniverse. They were all collectively relieved, as they were worried that The Grand Nihilanth may seek to finish them off if it were to understand that they had escaped.

== A Secret Unveiled: ==
As time passed, the Ayvia became more and more aware of the dimensional structure around them and began to develop their abilities around it, coming to understand that they could mold the very fabric of existence around their will. The Ayvian High Priests all collectively decided that this power could not fall into the wrong hands and their entire race was sworn to secrecy. By the decree of the High Priests, only beings that could prove themselves worthy of their power through The Trials of Azhmek could be bestowed it. Given their proximity and friendly relations, many Agarthian kings, including Alexander The Great, came to wield the Ayvia's reality magicks. The royalty of Agartha kept this secret arguably better than the Ayvia themselves, as knowledge of the magicks by unauthorized persons was punishable by death.

== The Agartho-Employer War: ==
For millennia the Ayvia lived in relative peace, remaining under the protection of the Agarthian Empire. Their small settlements in the mountains had grown in spectacular size, going so far as to be considered their own province by the Agarthian royalty many years ago. However, this peace would be short-lived. Following the revelation of [[Bilb Gate]] as the [[Auditor]], the Agarthian Empire coalesced their resources into one massive assault force never before seen in the history of their empire, with the sole goal of removing Employeric influence from the face of the planet. The Agartho-Employer War, as it would come to be known, was initially very much in the Agarthian's favor. Alexander The Great's previous conquests in the Inner Earth had lended him quite a number of years of commanding experience, and he used it to great effect against the [[Waifurian Empire]]. The Waifurians were, at the time, in the middle of expanding across the Milky Way, leaving their available resources to combat the Agarthian invasion very limited. Victory for Agartha seemed all but assured, until the Waifurian military-industrial complex was finally in full gear and was fully utilized by the combined genius of both Samur Haydeen and [[Phovus|Director Phovus]] resulting in a surprising defeat for the Agarthians. Alexander The Great had been slain in the Waifurian counterattack, by Director Phovus himself no less, and Agarthian morale plummeted. Once the Antarctic Portal was discovered and the fighting reached the Inner Earth itself, Agartha began to collapse in on itself. Neighboring countries began to carve deep into Agarthan holdings, reclaiming lands conquered from eons ago and the Waifurians marched ever onward to the capital of Agartha.

== Khorian Terror: ==
Having faced the Agarthian King himself, Phovus desired nothing more than to uncover that power he had used against him in combat. Whatever it was, it was capable of nullifying Dissonance Energy, and that kind of power simply could not be allowed to exist. Phovus personally led the assault on the Agarthan Imperial Palace, joined by several dozen [[Superpredators]]. He murdered anyone unable or unwilling to provide him with the information he sought, until finally he found the Imperial Archivist and nearly rendered him insane from torture utilizing Dissonance Energy. He told Phovus of the Ayvia, and the unbelievable power they held from the reality magick. Phovus spared the archivist, but he took his own life out of shame. The Agartho-Employer War soon ended with the capture of the Agarthan capital, the Agarthians soon fled, both into the far reaches of space and the deepest pits of the Inner Earth. Upon his betrayal of Samur Haydeen, Phovus almost immediately began searching for the Ayvian, to ensure their power could not be used against him. Phovus soon marched on the entire province of the Ayvia with 11 Waifurian legions, many of them former NCRI members, and massacred every single Ayvian he came across. The men, the women, and yes, even the children too. Only a small handful of the Ayvia survived, having escaped into the far reaches of the Aktoshan Mountains. Satisfied with his belief that the power he had faced earlier was finally eradicated from the 3rd Dimension, Phovus returned to the surface of Earth.

== Exiles of a Dead Race: ==
The surviving Ayvia inevitably found one another, and built an almost undetectable temple. Here they would live out their lives, and continue to study the magicks that had doomed their people. This way of life continued for them for quite some time, eons it felt like, until one day a knock rang on the stone doors of their temple. It had been several thousand years since the slaughtering of their race, yet they all recognized the symbol that the man that now stood before them wore. It was the Waifurian Imperial Armed Forces crest, albeit faded. The strongest of the Ayvia readied themselves to engage in combat with the intruder, until the hooded figure revealed himself as none other than [[Rick Hernia]]. Rick explained to them that he was not here to hurt them, and that he wore his former Waifurian attire as [[Keith Cumshoes|a tribute to an old friend.]] He apologized profusely to them on behalf of Waifuria, acknowledging that they were owed a debt that could never be fully repaid, to which the surviving Ayvia were initially silent. However when Rick explained his reason in seeking them out, that being that he was seeking to prevent the return of Director Phovus to the mortal plane, they set aside their objections and obliged in teaching him the now-ancient reality magicks gifted to the Agarthian kings so long ago.

== Epilogue: ==
It is not entirely known what happened to the Ayvia following their contact with Rick, as they all disappeared. Some believe they returned to Xen following the defeat of The Grand Nihilanth, while others believe they simply retreated further into the mountains, and a select few believe they discovered a way to ascend to the Outervoid, joining the ranks of the Employers themselves. Regardless of whichever is true, their impact on Omniversal history is undeniable.

The Tragedian

2026-04-15T08:34:05Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

== Description: ==
The Tragedian was an anomalous entity who claimed to have originated from an entirely separate Omniverse, the fate of which is unknown, although they believe it to have been destroyed. The Tragedian seemingly possessed an unnatural amount of knowledge pertaining to the uppermost echelons of reality and the purpose behind every fundamental aspect of the creation of life, regardless of tiering.

== History: ==
The Tragedian’s most prominent role in Omniversal history was their providing of shelter to, and training of, [[Rick Hernia]] following the events of the Mortal Annihilation Initiative which, as most Omniversal historians know, resulted in near-irreparable damage to the [[Temple of Rannjoe]] and the deaths of countless [[The Warshippers|Warshippers]] leading Rick to enter a self-imposed exile so that no other being would have to fear destruction by his enemies solely from his presence.

== Transcription: ==
The following is a recorded sample taken by Rick Hernia during his stay within The Tragedian’s pocket realm within the [[Nowhere]].

R: Why is it you called me here?

T: You were looking for a place to hide.

R: I appreciate it but it feels like you're not doing this solely out of the kindness of your heart.

T: Kindness is a rarity in our realities, Chosen. I provide what I can to those who seek it.

R: Right…

T: Do you distrust me, Chosen?

R: Well, no offense, but we haven't known each other for very long.

T: Quite the contrary, Chosen. Quite the contrary.

R: And that means?

T: You and I are more alike than you realize, Chosen. Exiles of reality itself.

R: You mean the Nowhere?

T: No mere dimensional mesh could hold such a title. No. I speak of what lies beyond what you refer to as an “Omniverse.”

R: The [[Outervoid]]? Where [[Employers|The Employers]] reside?

T: If that is what you wish to call it, yes.

R: Do you come from there?

T: In a sense.

R: Strange, The Employers never said anything about you.

T: The Trinity is not a difficult group to evade. They are blinded by vice.

R: Trinity? I've never heard of them referred to as that before.

T: The Trinity is the title of the current creators of a certain reality. However, this title is not theirs alone. The beings you refer to are only the most recent in a very long list of beings that have shared that title before.

R: Pardon?

T: Yours is not the first of the Outervoidian’s creations. Before them was another, and another before them, and so on and so forth. It is part of their very life cycle.

R: So if there's been Employers before these ones then…

T: Your conclusions are correct, Chosen.

R: How do I know you're telling the truth?

T: Before you stands the proof.

R: You're from another Omniverse?

T: Correct.

R: Then… what happened to your world?

T: Destroyed long ago.

R: And why is that?

T: Because of my war with the Duosol.

R: Duosol?

T: The sole survivors of a long-dead race within my realm. We warred against each other for what felt like eons.

R: How could just the three of you destroy an entire Omniverse?

T: In our war against one another, they uncovered the Nexus Point of our reality.

R: So, something similar to the [[Legume]]?

T: Precisely the same. The instrument of The Trinity's creation. Both mine, and yours.

R: And what was this Nexus Point like?

T: Ours was referred to as the Atlas. It was a massive machine responsible for running the entire Omniverse. The only issue is that when the Duosol discovered it, it was on the verge of dying. The Bishop cared not whether the Omniverse lived or died, their civilization was the only thing that mattered to him and it had long since ceased to exist. The Shifter, however, was determined to see reality continue. She elected to reset our Omniverse, in order to save everything from annihilation.

R: And you?

T: I sought to control all of reality. A hubristic goal. If I had only known then what I know now, perhaps my world would have survived.

R: Which of you had their way?

T: In a sense, all of us. The Shifter commenced the resetting of reality, but I had hidden a piece of myself into their technology long ago, and I used that to integrate myself with the Atlas just before it reset. Thus giving me full control of the entirety of the new realm. It eludes me as to why my Trinity did not intervene in this.

R: And what did you do with that power?

T: Our war had bestowed upon me a terrible anger, but I knew I had to entrap them somewhere. Together they were still powerful enough to threaten me. I relied on the anger of The Bishop to seal them within a time loop, tied to the death of a certain individual they were bound to by the very laws of existence to encounter. Every time the two of them slayed this individual, their pocket of reality would reset. The Shifter, however, was far smarter than I initially gave her credit for. Her memory persisted across time, and it was because of her that they uncovered my plan and remembered the old reality. The Bishop’s anger now directed towards me, they spared the individual. Something my simulacrum had not accounted for, and all of reality collapsed, sending all three of us into what you call the Outervoid.

R: Do you believe the Duosol continue to survive?

T: I believe there is an equal chance of their survival and their perishing. On one hand, they had a miraculous will to endure against all odds. On the other, however, they were not granted the divine status I had been bestowed by my integrating of the Atlas. I am also compelled to believe that if they had survived, they would have undoubtedly found me by now. What that would mean for us three, however, lies beyond my knowledge.

R: This is… a lot to take in.

T: I understand, Chosen.

R: You said you drifted through the Outervoid before you made your way here, right?

T: Correct.

R: Did you see anything out there?

T: It is where I learned of the Outervoidians and their cycles. And also of [[I|IT]].

R: It?

T: I dare not speak IT’s true name. IT would undoubtedly hear me use IT’s name, and then disassemble the very concept of my being.

R: Is it what created the Outervoidians?

T: I believe so.

R: I think I know what you speak of.

T: IT has intervened in this realm a number of times. The most recent being against the one you call [[Phovus]].

R: I figured. He had nearly killed me and The Employers.

T: Truly remarkable. His power, that is. Although, nothing from our realms could ever possibly challenge IT.

R: Do you… Do you think there are more things like it out there?

T: It is certain. I have not peeked into IT’s realm often, I feel as if anything that views IT and others like IT are being watched in return, but from my brief perspective into IT’s reality, IT appears to be one of many. We shall refer to THEM as The Powers That Be.

R: So these “Powers That Be.” What do they want with us?

T: They contemplate THEIR existence, and create from it. Same as IT created the Outervoidians, the Outervoidians created us. The only ones that do not create, are the lowest of beings in our realms. They lack the power to do so.

R: So, if it created the Outervoidians, do you think the other Powers That Be have their own Outervoids? And their respective Outervoidians?

T: It is likely.

R: Is it right to be afraid of knowing about this?

T: There is no point in fearing The Powers That Be. If THEY wished to unmake us, there is nothing we could possibly do to stop THEM.

R: That's comforting…

T: Do not fall into despair, Chosen. There is a reason I allowed you to know this.

R: And that would be?

T: I wish to prevent the fracturing of this reality, as mine has.

R: Will I have to face something like that soon? Something capable of threatening the entire Omniverse?

T: There exists, in your reality, [[Aubergine|an object of immeasurable irreality]]. A byproduct of the one you call Phovus’ hubris. I cannot locate its exact location, as its improbable nature distorts its location in space and time. However, you must prepare. I feel this object [[Biden Incident|will very soon threaten the very existence of your reality]].

R: Thank you for sharing your knowledge, Master.

T: You must become stronger with haste, Chosen, if your realm is to survive.

Yevelin Quantinium

2026-04-15T08:33:37Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Yevelin.png|thumb|A photograph taken of Yevilin during an unknown time period]]{{Character|name=Yevelin|aliases=The Mad Oracle|affiliation=G-Man (Unconfirmed Variant)|occupation=Inmate
Omniversal Oracle|birthDate=Unknown|birthPlace=Mond|deathDate=Final Moment|deathPlace=Mond|species=Mondian|gender=Male|height=5'4|weight=136 kg|eyes=Yellow (occasionally glosses over with Chrome)}}
Yevilin Quantinium was a Mondian prisoner and oracle who resided on [[Mond]] within his prison cell. He was something of an Omniversal anomaly, as he seemed to have gone complete insane but most he encountered seemed to find some meaning in his incoherent babblings. He lived a largely uneventful life, surviving off of offerings given to him by Omniversal passerby and only accepted payment for his “wisdom” in either food or drink. Notably, his favorite drink was [[J.F. Sweets|JF Sweet’s]] Cherry Cola.

== Early Life ==
Not much is known about Yevilin’s early life, as he gives a different life story each time. This includes the story of how his people’s civilization fell, regrettably resulting in their history being largely left behind. It is likely that he was some form of court jester, as his clothing suggests.

== G-Man Nudgiums ==
The validity of this claim is unclear, but one of the few consistent things Yevilin talks about is his connection to an unknown G-Man variant who “Opened the gateway” for Yevilin, allowing him access to the secrets of the Omniverse. It is unknown if this or the impossibly-long time spent in isolation is what drove Yevilin mad.

== Contact with Rick Hernia ==
Inarguably Yevilin’s most influential role in the Omniverse was his brief conversation with [[Rick Hernia]]. The following conversation took place a number of decades after the fall of the Waifurian Empire.

Scouring the Omniverse for further enlightenment, Rick eventually came across the rogue moon [[Mond]] which he decided to explore.

During his exploration of the moon, Rick came across a strange tunnel dug into the side of a mountain. (Pictured below)

Against his better judgment, Rick entered the cave and found it to be quickly blocked off by bars constructed of an incredibly durable metal. Rick attempted to break the bars, but only made an incredibly loud sound which reverberated off the walls of this “cave.” Suddenly, Rick heard a voice emanate from beyond the bars.

Y: “A visitor for me, me?”

R: “Hello? Is someone there?”

Y: “I sense your strength, stranger…”

Y: “Yet you seem lost, lost.”

R: “Funny hearing that from the guy imprisoned on a rogue moon. How’d you end up out here anyway?”

Y: “Questions require input!”

R: “What kind of input?”

Y: “The delicious kind, of course.”

R: “You’re asking for food?”

Y: “Of course, of course!”

Rick then slides a package of JF Sweets-brand lemon-flavored astronaut ice cream through the bars to which Yevilin scurried from the darkness to gorge upon.

R: “You feel more talkative now?”

Y: “Payment is payment, no matter how crack-infused!”

R: “Right. Anyways, what are you doing out here exactly?”

Y: “In here I am free, free!”

R: “You’re free in a prison?”

Y: “Fool! All the world is a prison.”

R: “How so?”

Y: “The one known as G. He has shown me.”

R: “Shown you what?”

Y: “That those not of this world, yet its creator, have fallen, fallen.”

R: “You mean the Employers?”

Y: “Names hold no value here, friend.”

Y: “They have succumbed to impulsiveness, and as such neglect their creation.”

R: “They have plans to make things better for everyone.”

Y: “For beings so powerful, why need a plan?”

R: “They have their restrictions they must abide by.”

Y: “Oh so blind you are, friend.”

R: “Quite the contrary.”

Y: “How so?”

R: “I’ve studied and mastered the Force. The Legume itself has shared its power and knowledge with me.”

Yevilin only responded with cackling.

Y: “I should have known it was you sooner, Employer lapdog!”

R: “Excuse me?”

Y: “Rick Hernia, Chosen One of the Employers! What a joke!”

Y: “You slew the Director but are blind to his reasoning.”

R: “You mean [[Phovus]]?”

Y: “Soon, friend, terror will rise from the plane between planes and a nightmare will awaken in the heart of the Omniverse. I only wonder, can you stop it?”

R: “Of course I can. The Employers themselves have blessed me.”

Y: “If your destiny is their plan, how much of your success is your own?”

Rick was unsure how to respond to him. His faith in the Employer’s plan had been shaken by Phovus’ words, even if had been eons since then, and he did not feel listening to the ramblings of an insane prisoner would benefit him much more. He decided it would be best to leave for now.

R: “I think I’ve heard my share of this.”

Y: “A marvelous thing, ignorance. You cannot turn a blind eye to the sins of those who grant you power so long as you hold it, Employer lapdog.”

Rick seemingly heard no more of Yevilin’s words, and if he had, he did not bother to document them. It seems Yevilin was somehow aware of the future resurrection of Phovus, and the horrible events The Grand Usurper’s return would entail.
[[Category:Characters]]

Keith Cumshoes

2026-04-15T08:32:54Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:ImageKeithNeo.png|thumb|Son of [[6]] and [[G- Man|G-Man]]. Nephew of [[7]] and [[9]]. ]]
[[File:Keith.jpg|thumb]]
[[File:Keith3.png|thumb|Keith Cumshoes, in his Early Days.]]

== Keith Cumshoes ==
{{Character|name=Keith Cumshoes|aliases=Keith,

Sir Cumsalot,

Sir Chungus,

Chungles

Mr. Cumshoes (Referred to by Gman),|relatives=6 (Mother)

The G-Man (Father)

Alduin (Brother)

Richard Nixon (Son)|affiliation=M.T.O Cadets

M.T.O Military (Unknown Regiment)

M.T.O Veterans

Rick Hernia's Cum Cult|occupation=M.T.O Foot Soldier

Musician|marital=Jezebel (Divorced)|birthDate=July 4th 200 B.B.|birthPlace=The North Western Rice Fields (aka. Alaska)|deathDate=44,332|deathPlace=Memphis, Tennessee|species=Groot|gender=Male|height=12' 3"|weight=8000 lbs|eyes=Black|portrayedby=|appearsin=4 Times,

4 Times (Remastered),

BA$EDGOD,

Click Bitch,

G@NG $H!T 2,

Joe Biden's Birthing Suite,

BA$ED FREESTYLE SYMPHONY NO. 002 IN A MINOR,

Shrek 2,

Santa Cock's Steamy Festive Freestyle,

I Know Joe|debut=4 Times}}
[[File:Keith.jpg|thumb|Keith Cumshoes]]

[[Keith Cumshoes]] was a bizarre entity comprised of blue wood and with skin that resembled an expensive suit. He was a member of the ancient Scott Morrison clan, as well as a musical artist and major player in the [[GLue Factory Incident|Glue Factory Incident]]. He starred in the 2049 AB holodocumentary '[[Blade Runner 2049 AB]]'.
[[File:Imagere.png|thumb|Keith as a wee lad. ]]

== Early Life ==
Keith Cumshoes was born on July 4th, 200 B.B. (Before BA$EDGOD), in a small farmhouse in New York. He was born to his Mother, [[6]], and his father, The [[G- Man]] (Both were able to reproduce via their own metaphysical terrestrial-acceptable manifestations). The couple raised him with traditional, Christian values, which he went on to disavow.

He attended [[West Valley Central School]], and had a close friend, [[Gerald H.|Gerald H]], until a horrendous accident rendered Keith friendless.

In his later years at West Valley Central School, Keith was known to preach moderate conservatism, centrism, atheism, and aneurysm. His interests in these subjects are generally assumed to have been based on his kindergarten education, although nobody is quite sure.

The archives are incomplete on the subject of Keith Cumshoes' childhood; as whenever he was asked about his past, he screamed supersonically and his ears temporarily detached from his head. This was theorized to have been linked to horrendous trauma sustained during [[G- Man|G-Man]]'s execution of [[Gerald H.]] (Which Keith witnessed firsthand).

== Teen Years ==

As a teenager, Keith became slowly aware of his incredible potential for speed and agility. He also discovered his higher-than-normal count of white blood cells, enabling him to be invincible to all viral infections and diseases. He also became fascinated with space travel; he had an affair with a Vortigaunt named [[Jezebel]], with whom he fathered 4,996,543 x 10^4 offspring. All became deceased at Jezebel's residence in Ohio, during the [[Bombing of Columbus]].

=== Death ===
[[File:Imagerey.png|thumb|Keith Cumshoes Discharged with Non-Life Threatening Injuries. ]]

Keith Cumshoes was decapitated and killed by [[Phovus|Director Phovus]] in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid, during an attempt by he and [[Rick Hernia|Rick]] to stop the murder of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Joe Biden]].[[File:Rick Hernia Theme Song.mp3|thumb|Keith Cumshoe's Theme Song]]
[[Category:Characters]]
__INDEX__

Crabtaclysm

2026-04-15T08:32:23Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:Crabtaclysm.jpg|thumb|Crabs once existed. ]]
The Crabtaclysm was an anomalous event that occurred in October of 2 AB, in which all crabs and other crustaceans on the surface of [[Earth 2]] mysteriously disappeared.

== Causes ==
It is unknown what exactly caused the Crabtaclysm, but several major theories have been debated among Omniversal Scholars. \

=== Downwardium Theoronia ===
The first suspected cause is the [[Downward Spiral]]. Given the short time discrepancy, it was a reasonable assumption to make; as a massive spacetime vortex would be indeed capable of instigating such a crablamity. Despite this, later research showed that animals actually adapted very quickly to the appearance of the Downward Spiral, with some even developing the skill of Spiralic circumnavigation, so it is unlikely that the Downward Spiral caused the Crabtaclysm.

=== Timefractium Theoronia ===
The second suspected cause is [[G-Man (Timefracture Alpha)]]. Shortly after the Crabtaclysm occurred, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) posted to his instagram account mr.gman.in.the.flesh about his distaste for the creatures, declaring them to be “grotesque animals” and stating “whatever happened to those fucks, they deserved it”. The phrasing from the G-Man’s response seems to point to him being also oblivious to the Crabtaclysm’s true cause; however it would not be unlike him to nudge such an event into existence (and then fake naivety in order to throw off suspicions).

=== Improbabillium Theoronia ===
The third suspected cause is the Improbability Drive. Given the anomalous and very extreme consequences of the activation of the Improbability Drive, it is not out of the question that [[Phovus|Director Phovus]]’ magnum opus could very well be responsible for the mass extinction event. Further supporting this theory is the fact that Phovus’ science team at Black Mesa was very frequently testing the device at the time, although it seemed to bring back no apparent results.

== Consequences ==
As a result of the disappearance of all crustaceans on the planet, the ecosystem in the oceans and seas experienced a Downward Spiral of their own. Over time, the carcasses of larger organisms in the ocean began to pile up as a result of the lack of decomposers, until eventually 1/3rd of the planet’s surface water contained some form of corpse within it.

Regardless of whatever caused this incident, the consequences of it did nothing positive when it came to the [[Alaskan Cod Coupon Fraud|future turmoils of the seafood industry]].
[[Category:Events]]

Coalition War

2026-04-15T08:31:12Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

== The Coalition War ==
As is common knowledge among Omniversal historians, following the end of [[The great META war|the Great META War]] the Earth, and later the entirety of the Sol System, were reorganized into the Waifurian Empire. Much like the Combine before them, humanity swiftly moved across their home galaxy incorporating system after system into their empire. This inevitably put them at odds with the recently-formed Southern Belt Coalition, born as a defensive pact against the now-removed [[Combine|Combine Empire]] during their invasion of the Milky Way Galaxy, and war was eventually declared. However, unlike the Combine invasion, the various systems were now under the watchful protection of the organization known as Worlds Without Boundaries who acted as a sort of solar system-scale militia ready to combat foreign invaders while technically not belonging to any one system or empire. When the forces of the Waifurian Empire arrived, the SBC engaged in direct warfare while WWB fought a brutal campaign of guerrilla warfare across the entirety of the SBC, this combination attack strategy successfully held off the Waifurian advances for decades until one fateful day when tragedy struck...

=== Waifurian Dawn ===
Despite their overwhelming technological advantage, the Waifurian Empire simply could not retain a proper foothold within the territory of the SBC. Frustration grew among the Waifurian High Command and attrition was taking its toll on the Waifurian military as they, along with the public, were assured that the war would be ended swiftly, something deemed necessary to prevent outrage given [[The great META war|the Great META War]] had only ended a few years prior. Many among the ranks of the military and economic sectors of the Waifurian Empire were slowly growing in support of a ceasefire agreement with the Southern Belt Coalition. This greatly displeased some of the top officials of the Waifurian Empire, among them the newly-promoted [[Phovus|Director Phovus]]. As is well-known among Omniversal historians, Phovus had one of the largest egos in the entire history of the Omniverse, only rivaled by that of the Employers themselves. Thusly, he viewed a potential defeat of the Waifurian Empire as a defeat for himself, and that simply could not stand. Phovus struggled to think of an idea, he ran over every potential solution to the "Southern Belt Problem" as he called it even considering using the power of the Improbability Drive to obliterate the entire coalition from the face of the galaxy. This would make for an impressive display of power no doubt, but he understood that such a malicious use of something the Employers had bestowed upon him could bring down, well, unforeseen consequences. He could not be nudged from his position just yet, not after all he had worked for. His solution suddenly came to him in the form of a realization... Waifuria Prime. Waifuria Prime would be his answer to the hellish itch that was the SBC. He immediately drafted up plans for a gigantic cannon to be installed into the still-under-construction space station, something capable of destroying an entire planet in a single blast, and presented it to the mindless rotting corpse that was the Overlorddish Mummy of the Waifurian Overlorddom (Soon to be Waifurian Empire). The [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Malpracticing Mummified Miscreant]] absentmindedly signed away the agreement, and the fate of the war was sealed the minute his pen was lifted from the paper. The construction itself had gone fairly well, with all the resources of the Waifurian Empire and power of the Improbability Drive at his disposal, Phovus swiftly devoted all his time to finishing the giant mummyrific sphere of destruction that would plague the Omniverse for eons to come. After the celebrations over its completion had finished, Phovus proposed its utilization in the war against the Southern Belt Coalition. Every single military commander agreed, seeking an end to the war, and a couple of medals to boot. Noone expected what came next, not even the Waifurians.

==== The End of the Coalition War ====
When the day came, Phovus pridefully strode to the firing room of Waifuria Prime. He almost immediately demanded that the navigational system be directed to the Garudis System. One of the navigational officers denied his request, stating that flying the newly built "Jewel of Waifuria", as some chose to call it despite it's horribly dull and grey appearance, into an active warzone was an insane request. Mere seconds after he had finished his sentence, Phovus summoned the Binary Sword into his hand and impaled the officer. Phovus rended the blade from the man's chest as he dropped to the floor, coughing in a futile attempt to breathe despite the puncturing of his lungs. Phovus then called out to the entire room with a voice that seemed to echo into their very souls, "I will not tolerate any further delays. If anyone wishes to prevent the end of this war, please voice your opinion now." The room remained silent for several minutes, the only noise being the death rattle of the man Phovus had just slain. "I thought as much." Phovus then took a seat next to the firing operator and watched through the viewing glass of the firing room as the space station entered and then exited hyperspace above the atmosphere of Garudis-1, capital world of the Garudisian Republic which was the lead member of the SBC. Phovus calmly demanded that the space station's external speakers be wired to the microphone which lie at his current station. He called out to the citizens of Garudis-1, with everyone on the same side of the planet as Waifuria Prime confused as to why the sun had been replaced with a giant metal orb. "Citizens of Garudisia. I address you now as the Director of Scientific Progress and Development for the Waifurian Empire, Phovus of Khoria-1. Your little coalition has proved to be quite the thorn in the sides of many of our empire's officials, myself included. But today is the day that thorn is pulled. You have the honor of being the first planet to face subatomic disassembly at the hands of this grand space station."

Waifuria Prime's subatomic particle cannon began to charge.

"Panic, Hide, Weep, it matters not. After this planet is destroyed we will annihilate as many capital worlds of the remaining member states of the Southern Belt Coalition as needed until either a surrender occurs or your forces are entirely annihilated. I am certain many within our ranks would prefer the latter, but I am not entirely without mercy. As for you, this is goodbye you wretched dissenters."

Phovus turned to face the firing officer who sat beside him.

"You may fire when ready."

With that order, the particle cannon of [[Waifuria Prime]] fired, sending a massive amount of energy straight through the crust and into the planet's core. The gravitational force of the planet itself failed to hold together and the entire planet was destroyed in a massive explosion. For roughly 5 minutes, everyone onboard Waifuria Prime stood in shock at the event that had just occurred. All but one, that is, as Director Phovus remained seated, a devilish grin was spread wide across his face.

The total death toll of the destruction of Garudis-1 is estimated to be around 70-72 billion people. Among those killed was the renowned author and revolutionary leader Ozymund Gredel. This sent Worlds Without Boundaries, now leaderless, into complete disarray.

Despite the great tragedy that had occurred, the Southern Belt Coalition refused to surrender. In response, Director Phovus directly ordered the destruction of 2 other capital worlds in the SBC. The destruction of these two worlds, who's names have since been lost to time, added a total of 86 billion to the death toll from Garudis-1 which resulted in a total of anywhere from 156 to 158 billion casualties in the span of 4 days. The remaining nations of the Southern Belt Coalition surrendered and then were annexed directly into the [[Waifurian Empire]]. Worlds Without Boundaries went into hiding in small pockets across nearby systems, doing their best to avoid detection from Waifurian forces.
[[File:Galaxy.jpg|thumb|A Tetradimensional Map of the Milky Way, with SBC territories marked in blue and WWB territories marked in red. ]]
After the display of force that was the annihilation of the capital worlds, no other systems put up resistance to the encroaching Waifurian Empire, and they soon came to control the entire Milky Way Galaxy.
[[Category:Events]]

Battle of Ganymede

2026-04-15T08:29:12Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

The contents of this article have been relocated and condensed into [[Phovus|Director Phovus]]' article for a more cohesive narrative experience. Please visit the aforementioned article to view this event.
[[Category:Events]]

Phovus

2026-04-15T08:28:21Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: Doorbell3200Washcloth0957 moved page Director Phobos to Phovus without leaving a redirect: Misspelled title

[[File:Phovusactual.jpg|thumb|(Portrait of Director Phovus following his cybernetic reconstruction after the [[Battle of Ganymede]])]]
{{DISPLAYTITLE:Director Phovus}}
{{Character|name=Phovus|aliases=Last Son of Khoria

The Grand Usurper|affiliation=Combine Empire

Waifurian Empire

Himself|occupation=Commander in the Combine Armed Forces

Director of Tactical Operations

Director of Combine Scientific Endeavors

Director of the Black Mesa Research Facility

Director of the Waifurian Science Institute

High Chairman of the Imperial Ministry of Science and Progress|birthPlace=Khoria|deathDate=20,030 AB|deathPlace=Memphis, Tennessee|relatives=Daniel Sproule - Spouse

The Employers - Nemesis|marital=Daniel Sproule|eyes=Red|species=Khorian|gender=Male|height=7'9, 8'8 after cybernetics|birthDate=Unknown|weight=279 lbs}}

Phovus was a Khorian soldier and scientist who had the rare distinction of working for both the [[Combine]] and [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian Empires]]. He was a fierce rival to the Employers and ultimately doomed the Omniverse through his own hubris.

== Early Life ==
Not much is known of Phovus' early life, however it is known that he was incredibly competitive in academics, had a fondness for science and its utilities, and held a deep-seated love for his home planet and its people.

== Conscription and Training ==
Sometime before the Great META War, Phovus was conscripted as an officer into the Combine Imperial Army as part of the Combine Armament Initiative which was a mandatory conscription bill issued by the Combine Emperor Xos in order to prepare for the upcoming invasion of the Milky Way Galaxy. Even in the earliest stages of his training, Phovus’ prowess for tactical analysis shone through. He seemed to simply be naturally beyond the ability of his peers, which resulted in a great amount of admiration from his comrades, and a great amount of envy from his competitors. Seeing how quickly his skills had developed, Phovus’ superiors released him from the training early as they were eager to see his undeniable talent put to work.

== Early Military Career ==
Phovus was almost immediately assigned to the frontline against the emerging Tashiinan Empire, which had proved to be a difficult system to conquer, even for the likes of the Combine. Many of the commanders assigned to the front doubted Phovus’ ability to effectively defeat the Tashiinans, given their unbelievable power of sight-based telekinesis. Phovus, understanding the threat this posed to the Combine’s military operations, began to devise a strategy against his foe. He recalled something he had learned back in his days in the academies on Khoria, a particular strain of the Cholvesta virus on Haephlys, one of the 47 moons of the planet Vilmar. Phovus arranged for a secretive transport to the moon in order to collect samples of the virus. After a several-month-long trip to and from Haephlys, Phovus redirected the samples to a small laboratory under his jurisdiction on the outskirts of the Tashiina system. In truth, the Cholvesta variant was infamous across the Andromeda Galaxy for inducing a several-month-long blindness in infected subjects. However, the task assigned to the scientists under Phovus’ jurisdiction was to render infected subjects ''permanently'' blind. Phovus’ intent for this strain was to unleash it via a modified variant of the Combine’s pre-existing orbital headcrab launchers onto the population of the Tashiinans, in an effort to render their telekinesis unusable. This strategy, when employed, proved absolutely overwhelming for the Tashiinans. What was, at the time, the worst front for the Combine had suddenly become a cakewalk and when the Combine's legions crashed through the front doors of the Tashiinan Palace and executed the Tashiinan royalty, every single Combine personnel from there to the Southern Belt Front knew that Phovus had earned them that victory. This undeniably successful effort earned him several promotions and more praise than he could have ever asked for. Phovus continued to easily blitz through the systems of the Milky Way, earning the Combine scores of inhabitable systems for their grand empire, and he himself only continued to grow in influence and power. Phovus was particularly aware of the importance he now held in the Combine’s operations, as he had conquered large sections of one of the Milky Way's galactic arms by now, so it came as a surprise to him when the message that he was being redeployed to just a single planet. “Earth?” He thought to himself. “What could one planet possibly have that could have slowed our advance this much?”

== Introduction to the Sol System ==
When Phovus exited his Combine Imperial Landing Shuttle after it had touched down onto the landing pad of Polus Base, he was rather irritated. An entire campaign sacrificed for one measly little planet? This had better prove worthy of his time. Somewhat surprising to Phovus was that the troops stationed here, who answered directly to General Grievous himself, were saluting him. Phovus knew his exploits across the Milky Way were well-known, but he had heard of the Kaleesh’s particular annoyance at anyone other than him being honored, especially among his own troops. Combined with the general’s exhibitions of great violence and miraculously limited patience, which were so famous that Phovus had heard of them long before he had ever been conscripted, he understood that these troop’s salutes may very well have been a display of their willingness to sacrifice themselves for him in and of themselves. Upon his arrival, one of the soldiers directed him towards the Combine Invasion Force Council’s board room. Phovus thanked the soldier, and went on his way.

== Enlistment to the CIFC ==
He entered the boardroom and was greeted with a sight that greatly confused him. Sitting around a table were General Grievous, who had been the one to summon him initially, as well as Admirals Amonger and Trench. A G-Man variant was present as well, although Phovus was not yet aware of which particular one this one was. “Take a seat, Commander.” Grievous beckoned, one of his cybernetic hands motioning Phovus forward. Phovus, albeit with some slight hesitation, complied with Grievous’ order. “I am certain you understand the importance of the individuals sharing this table with you currently, Commander. Do you know why I have summoned you?” questioned Grievous. “I am afraid not, General. But what I fear more is whatever our opponents possess that would require such a high concentration of military genius.” replied Phovus, attempting to appease Grievous’ ego. “I have heard of you and your accomplishments elsewhere in the galaxy, Commander. Your talents are wasted on the easily-conquered filth that reside in the Northern Belt.” Phovus took some offense from this. He had met plenty of capable opponents during the battles he participated in, and while they were no tactical geniuses, they were certainly more thoughtful than Grievous’ barbaric methods of simply utilizing sheer numbers. Concealing his agitation, Phovus spoke once more. “If these Earth people are really all that difficult to conquer that it requires the unified efforts of our empire's greatest military minds, then I suppose it would be worth sacrificing my previous efforts.” Perfect, Phovus thought to himself, allowing Grievous to believe he had convinced him into joining their little single-planet crusade would no doubt feed whatever pit the Kaleesh warlord had in his mind that fueled his infamous ego. “Excellent. I have personally selected you for the position of our Director of Tactical Operations.” Grievous spoke a very obvious twinge of joy in his voice. Suddenly, the G-Man variant spoke up for the first time since the meeting had begun. “You're forgetting a crucial element of the process, General.” “The vote is unnecessary, we need his assistance to crush the human scum under our feet!” Grievous retorted, very clearly upset at this interruption. “Just go along with it Grievous, any more breaks in protocol and Xos might have you relocated,” whispered Amonger, clearly just wanting the meeting to be over with. “Fine, but if we lose his involvement with this front, you'll have more to worry about than just Rick Hernia,” Grievous begrudgingly replied. The vote began shortly after. “Aye,” spoke Grievous, who was clearly growing more frustrated by the minute. “Aye,” the G-Man variant spoke with an unsettling calmness to his voice. “Nay,” muttered Admiral Trench, very clearly attempting to avoid Grievous’ burning gaze. The entire table then turned to Amonger, his body language revealing nothing about his preferences. Phovus was not particularly invested in the final result of Amonger's vote; all else failed, he would simply return to the North Belt to continue his campaign there. However, he did find enjoyment in watching Grievous squirm. Finally, Amonger cast his vote. “Nay,” the Inherslohtian calmly spoke. Before Amonger could even provide the reasoning he had prepared, Grievous yelled out “XOS DAMN IT!” and proceeded to flip the table over, nearly crushing Admiral Trench in the process. “ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! NOW!” yelled Grievous, who challenged Amonger in a game of fate to decide Phovus’ involvement. Thankfully for the bone structure of everyone in the room, Grievous won the game and Phovus’ position was secured.

== Formation of the Research Corps ==
Phovus’ involvement in the Combine’s operations were, to his surprise, much less involved than he had expected. He took on a largely advisory role, although the Combine had begun to make some advances, specifically with Grievous’ capturing of Southern Europe and Admiral Amonger’s ongoing bombing campaign of Southeast Asia. While this allotted more free time, Phovus found that it had highlighted a growing disinterest in continuing with his military career. It had been many many years since he had studied the scientific arts back on Khoria, and his time spent in the Sol System made it very evident that there had at one point been several ancient civilizations present. The presence of the artifacts, as well as a very serious case of homeworldsickness, ignited within the director a new calling…

Initially, Phovus wasn't entirely sure how to go about manifesting his desire to study the remnants of the long-lost civilizations that had once inhabited the system before, so he began to devise a way to conceal it as a military effort. He thought of Grievous, as the Kaleesh conqueror was all too easy to manipulate. Phovus’ own induction into the CIFC was proof of that. Better yet, Grievous of all people would be all too eager to let Phovus do as he pleased, considering he had fought tooth and nail to get him here. The only problem was that he would need some form of falsified products should the search turn up ultimately useless. Phovus figured that a setup of 3D Printers, a rather common commodity, should suffice in order to cover his trail. Eventually, he approached Grievous, seeking to have what was to him the opportunity of a lifetime. Summoning Grievous to his office, Phovus took a sip of his Numejian Blackwater Brew and waited for the General’s arrival. “I trust that you have requested my presence for an important reason, Director.” Grievous’ tone reflected a degree of annoyance. Not good, but certainly not unsalvageable, Phovus thought to himself. “I would not have called you directly if it weren't, General.” Phovus spoke with a noticeable amount of positivity, hoping that Grievous would pick up on it, as to ease the Kaleesh’s tension. “My personal guard has discovered a few artifacts of particular interest while following their scouting routes. Having a background in science myself, I noticed that some of these artifacts suggest that the ancient civilizations that inhabited this system may have held a great deal of power.” Grievous’ eyes seemed to light up a bit at the mention of power. Good, Phovus thought to himself, the General was playing into his plan even better than he had hoped. “Go on,” Grievous requested. Obliging, Phovus continued. “I believe with enough resources that I could uncover whatever secrets these ancient peoples were utilizing, and use them for ourselves.” “How much would you need, exactly?” Grievous questioned, that glimmer of the lust for power still shimmering in his eyes. Although hesitant, Phovus decided to try his luck given that Grievous already appeared to be caught hook, line, and sinker. “At least 7 research sites and all the scientists and other staff to man them, 5 army legions that will answer directly to me as well as the necessary accommodations for them, and two dozen well-armed transport ships for excavating, hauling, and defending the artifacts.” Phovus knew this request was absurd and was absolutely more than he needed to accomplish the task at hand, but if there was even a sliver of a chance that Grievous would accept, he had to try to take it. “And how much are these artifacts supposed to help us, Director? All these things you are asking for aren't exactly cheap.” Not the reaction I was hoping for, Phovus thought to himself, but not undoable. “I believe the consequences for our opponents, should we fully utilize the power these ancients have locked away, would be, well, Earth-shattering.” Phovus couldn't help but grin upon finishing his sentence, if there was any description that would secure Grievous’ support, that was it. Much to his delight, that same power-hungry glimmer in Grievous’ eye seemed to have grown even further. “Your demands shall be met Phovus, if what you say about these artifacts is true, we could very well reach the Galactic Core in a matter of months.” Phovus had to physically restrain himself from celebrating right then and there, but internally it was the happiest he had been since his promotion following the events in the Tashiin System. “You will not regret this decision, General. Be seeing you soon.” “And you as well, Director.” Now, Phovus thought, all he needed was a name. In the coming weeks, the 126th Legion AKA the “Research Corps” would be formed and, as requested, would answer to Phovus directly.

== Uncovery of the Nexus Core ==
Years went by, and Phovus had made himself quite comfortable in his position within the Combine’s efforts in the Sol System. Despite his successes in utilizing ancient Annunaki and Bordesian technology, the Combine had been on the backfoot for quite a few years at this point. Grievous’ advancements into Southern Europe were all but undone, and the death of Admiral Trench during the closing days of the Spanish Inquisition had dealt a very heavy toll to the Combine’s operations, with Admiral Amonger only just barely managing to guide Trench’s former troops alongside his own. Additionally, the Human forces were nearing City 9, which could prove to be disastrous if the city fell, and the Bombing of Columbus crippled the only planetary ally that the Combine had, that being the Separatist Republic of Ohio, taking the infamous fighter pilot known only as “Cipher<nowiki>''</nowiki> out of the war. All of this had greatly displeased Emperor Xos, and Grievous quickly became the subject of his frustrations. In turn, Grievous became far more commanding and ruthless than he had ever been before. Phovus in particular became a target of Grievous, as his involvement had not been the trump card that the Kaleesh had expected. Phovus was no stranger to naysayers, and had long since learned to ignore them, and as such continued to investigate the ancient remnants of the Sol System. This continued for a very long time, until one fateful call came across Phovus’ communicator. “Speak, Captain Sikalyon,” the Khorian spoke, his eagerness concealed by his seemingly-emotionless tone. “We've found something sir, I don't think I've seen anything quite like it before. Energy readings are going off the charts.” “Excellent find, Captain. Have the object transported to the research labs immediately.” Unbeknownst to either of them, Captain Sikalyon’s men had just found the Nexus Core, an ancient Bordesian artifact that held an immeasurable amount of power. When the reports came across his desk, Phovus couldn't believe what he was seeing. These energy readings were unlike anything he had ever seen before. Whatever this object was, Phovus knew instinctively that he had just come across something that could change the face of the Omniverse as they knew it. Phovus immediately redirected all the efforts of the 126th towards researching the Nexus Core. This decision ultimately came with a cost, however, as the 126th were no longer providing Bordesian technologies to the Combine, even the fake ones. This greatly angered General Grievous, who's growing irritation towards Phovus was beginning to reach a boiling point. Phovus sat in his office’s chair, gazing outside the window. Grievous would be a problem. “I can calm him down,” Phovus thought to himself. “He's always been malleable, I just need to think of the right wor-” Just then, the doors to his office slid open, the cold metal slicing through the air more crisp than usual. The mechanical whirring of cybernetic legs had already clued him in as to who now stood in his quarters, but Phovus knew who it was the minute the doors had opened. Noone outside of the CIFC members, and Captain Sikalyon, had the clearance to so much as gaze at that door. Turning his chair slowly, his gaze met Grievous’. Before he could speak, the Kaleesh’s tarnished voice rang out across the room. “I have noticed a significant decline in the amount of that technology you promised in the last few weeks, Director.” “I am afraid that is no longer the primary focus for myself and my compatrio-” Suddenly, one of Grievous’ mechanical arms shot out from underneath his cloak and snapped itself in a vice grip around Phovus’ throat. “Your ‘primary focus’ is not my problem, Phovus! You were given all this on the foundation of a charter that you have now forsaken!” Phovus was unable to respond, the steel claws of Grievous’ arm nearly choking the life out of him. He clawed at the cold yet rageful steel, attempting to release himself from the General's grasp. That wasn't going to work, he had to think of something else. “I am the sole reason you are even in this system, you traitor! Everything you have here belongs to m-” before Grievous could finish his sentence, he felt something metallic slide between the armored plating protecting his vital organs. In his rage, the General had not noticed that Phovus had drawn and placed a plasmacaster pistol against his organ casing. Grievous released Phovus, the latter of which began sputtering and coughing. As the air returned to his lungs, Phovus witnessed Grievous exit his room without a word. Clambering to his feet, Phovus knew he could not continue to prod Grievous, not without a backing Grievous couldn't simply massacre.

== The Birth of the NCRI ==
A few days had passed since the incident involving Grievous, and Phovus knew if he wanted to continue his work he would need more than what the 126th alone could provide. He met in secret with G-3301 and Admiral Amonger individually, seeking to utilize their position on the council to introduce a proposal that would strengthen his forces tenfold. Amonger needed hardly any convincing, he of all people knew that Grievous held far too much dominion over the Combine’s operations. Amonger, ever the strategist, saw the opportunity for the balance, or rather imbalance, of power within the council to be upset. He believed that Phovus’ growing power and influence could potentially be enough to ensure Grievous didn't simply threaten or Rock Paper Scissors his way through any final decisions, and thus his allegiance was secured. G-3301, however, proved a bit more difficult to convince. Grievous’ military campaigns proved costly and had largely resulted in failure, yes, but the kind of resources Phovus was asking for would almost certainly be too large of a nudge… that was, however, until Phovus’ rebuttal. Phovus knew Grievous’ failures were only growing more and more expensive by the day, and eventually, that money would dry up. It might take decades, but the Combine’s pockets were not bottomless. Suddenly, it hit him. Phovus now knew the one question that would shake the Combine Invasion Force’s economic specialist to his core.

“When the money dries up, do you wish to inform him on your own?”

G-3301 had not considered that before. He knew he was a direct product of The Auditor, yet, the G-Men were not immortal. Strong, yes, but not indestructible. He had, in fact, witnessed the slaying of his compatriots before. Could Grievous really achieve such a feat? G-3301 knew he could kill Grievous, he was not the strongest of his ilk, but certainly no mere cyborg could slay him. Another thought then raced through his head. His position. If such a magnificent display of power were to be witnessed, and it most certainly would, given Grievous’ importance in the 3rd Dimension, there would almost certainly be, well… consequences on behalf of The Auditor. G-3301 then realized, in order to continue to perform the tasks laid out before him, siding with Phovus was essential.

With the remaining members of the CIFC now in his clutches, Phovus called for an emergency meeting. The decision to further supply Phovus’ operations was a stunning landslide victory of 3-1. Grievous was now beyond livid, but he knew that he could not so much as lay a finger on Phovus, as he would undeniably be discharged and possibly set for execution if he took the Director's life. Grievous had been completely outsmarted and outmaneuvered by Phovus, and he knew it. It only made him even more angry.

== Funding Blunder ==
All was seemingly going well for Phovus, he had the CIFC in his pocket, save for Grievous who ultimately couldn't even come close to getting his vengeance, and the NCRI was accomplishing things that the 126th Research Corps. couldn't have hoped to achieve before the end of the war. Admiral Amonger, in combination with the security forces of the NCRI, far outnumbered the troops under Grievous’ command, ensuring any attempted attack against the triumvirate would be fruitless. Additionally, G-3301 provided the NCRI with a significant amount of funds to complete their work. Overall, Phovus was essentially the new head of the Combine's operations in the Sol System. This system would persist for about two dozen years, until a particular error would be made by the Combine’s higher-ups. Phovus’ soft coup of the Combine’s military structure in the Sol System had not gone unnoticed. At first no one of importance, except perhaps Grievous, seemed to care all that much as Phovus ran things significantly better than Grievous ever had. In fact, the Combine had actually gained ground since his ascension to the head of the CIFC. The stalemate in Asia that had persisted since the disappearance of Vong was broken and the Combine re-entered China, using it to open frontlines into Siberia and Central Asia. The fighting taking place outside of City 9 that had persisted for the past 4-5 decades ceased as the MTO was pushed back to the US-Mexico border. (Normally, the Combine’s forces would have continued into the US mainland, but the installations in, on, and around the newly-constructed “Great Wall of MAGA” commissioned by Donald Trump proved to be too much for the Combine to combat properly.) Despite this success, the extra funding being produced by G-3301 eventually caught the eye of the Combine Imperial Economic Commission, and it was discovered that G-3301 was embezzling large sums of cash towards the NCRI’s work. This caught the eye of G-4323, then only the Supreme Imperial Treasurer, who informed Emperor Xos of his findings. To say Xos was infuriated would be an understatement. Normally, such a transgression would result in the executions of both Phovus and G-3301, however their tactical importance to the Sol Front was undeniable. As a compromise, Xos simply cut the funding to the Sol Front down to 1/5th of what it had been. The effects of this were very quickly felt, as the NCRI failed to keep the security and scientific contractors on their payroll. Only those most loyal to Phovus remained in the organization, as just before the funding cuts it was suspected that a major breakthrough in the process of creating something capable of utilizing the Nexus Core’s raw power was soon approaching. Despite the loyalty of his subordinates in the NCRI, his grip on the CIFC very quickly slipped as neither G-3301 nor Admiral Amonger truly believed that Phovus could protect them from Grievous anymore. This belief was very quickly proved correct, as Grievous almost immediately claimed the power he had before, and subsequently cut Phovus’ funding even further believing he would find more enjoyment out of watching the Director lose everything than simply killing him. Phovus was, understandably, distraught at the events that had unfolded. The scientific breakthrough of the millennium was within his grasp, only to be ripped away by superiors too arrogant and too incompetent to even begin to understand the kind of work he was doing. The budget constraints imposed by the Imperial Government and Grievous resulted in a rate of progress lower than the 126th Legion produced. It could be eons before that breakthrough arrived. Phovus, in desperation, began to secretly sell Combine, Bordesian, and Annunaki technology to the Earth governments and the MTO in order to obtain more funds for the NCRI. The funds from these deals kept the NCRI afloat for now and even managed to push the development progress back above the 126th’s rate, but Phovus knew this method was unsustainable. Someone was going to find out eventually, and the consequences of his betrayal would almost certainly mean death.

== Employeric Intervention ==
Phovus spent weeks contemplating how to correct his scenario. He knew he had nowhere to run once the Combine inevitably found out about his selling of technology to the Earth governments, but he also couldn’t afford to cease selling them lest the NCRI completely collapse. He was completely and utterly stuck. He had worked tirelessly since the minute he arrived in this system to uncover the secrets of the ancient peoples that had inhabited it. Had it all been for nothing? Despair began to well up in him, and he began to accept that he would never uncover the secrets of the Nexus Core and witness the unfathomable power it contained. Just then a pyre of shadow and flame arose within his quarters, stunning the director. A being slowly began to take shape from the pillar of black flame, emanating an ominous red glow. Unbeknownst to Phovus at the time, he now stood before The Auditor himself. “Sounds like you’re in a bind, Phovus.” “That would be an understatement. And you are?” Phovus replied, only barely managing to contain his shock. “Call me The Auditor. Now, as for why I’m here, I have an idea that I think we can both benefit from.” This intrigued Phovus. Could this being truly assist him? “Go on.” “You see, the Combine are getting to be a bit of a thorn in my side. I have what you could call a sort of “vested interest” in Earth, and the hundreds of years of war and all that is becoming a bit of a problem.” “And how do I fall into this picture?” the director inquired, wondering what this entity before him could possibly have seen on Earth that could be considered worth an investment. “You can help me by taking this.” Manifesting between the two of them was a machine marked with lettering that spelled out “Improbability Drive” although to Phovus it did not seem all that particularly impressive. “What does it do?” “I’m glad you asked. You see, this baby right here has the ability to harness the full power of that little Bordesian artifact you’ve been working on for all this time.” This immediately piqued Phovus’ interest, although some small nagging part of him distrusted this deal. However, if what this “Auditor” had said were true, it could be his way out of this damnable situation. “You can have it on one condition.” “That being?” “You leave the Combine and join the humans.” This took Phovus back for a minute. He was certainly not enthusiastic about remaining allied with the Combine after the way he had been treated, he would leave them behind in an instant if he could, but what of Khoria? He would almost certainly never see his homeworld again, and his people would likely view him as a traitor for the rest of history. This decision weighed heavily on his mind. His home or his magnum opus? The Auditor grew ever more impatient, the director’s indecisiveness proving to be of great annoyance. Were this not so critical, he would have outsourced this to one of the G-Men. “Look man, I get it. Homeworld’s gonna view you as a bad guy forever. Big whoop. With this, you’ll have the ability to change the face of the Omniverse forever. Are you gonna let the opinion of one measly little planet stop you from impacting trillions more?” Phovus hated to admit it, but this “Auditor” had a point. The good he could do with this power far outweighed what his people’s opinion of him had on an omniversal scale. “Alright. I’ll do it.” “Wonderful. Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret. I have an out for all those weapons you’ve been selling. One of my employees on the CIFC has found evidence that Admiral Amonger is the one behind the weapons deals. Three days from now there’ll be an emergency meeting. You two will have to convince the Kaleesh it’s Amonger behind the weapons deals. When that’s over, get the Nexus Core in the Improbability Drive and get your ass to Ganymede as soon as you can. I already have elements working with the Earth governments to ensure you and my gift’s safe transfer. Got that?” “Understood. I am forever in your debt.” “Don’t worry ‘bout it, just make sure those Combine asshats get pushed out of this system. Oh, and if you try to fuck me over, I’ll obliterate Khoria, the NCRI, and then you. In that order.” With that, The Auditor vanished. A strange blend of relief, anticipation, anxiousness, and ''familiarity'' washed over Phovus. Whatever happened next, he knew it could change the face of the Omniverse forever.

== Emergency Meeting ==
Three days following the meeting between Phovus and The Auditor, the Employer’s prediction came true. Phovus entered the CIFC’s boardroom knowing full well what was about to occur. While waiting, Phovus came to realize that G-3301 had to be the one under the service of The Auditor. He was perplexed by this, but before he could put any further thought to it, Grievous and G-3301 both entered the room. G-3301 was noticeably sweating, further confirming Phovus’ earlier realization. Grievous sat down in his chair at the head of the table, while G-3301 took the seat across from Phovus. Amonger was late, as he usually was to these meetings following the death of Admiral Trench. Speaking of Admiral Trench, Phovus only just now realized his chair was still present at the council table despite him having been dead for years now. Phovus shrugged this off and took the holopad sitting in front of him to view recent developments across the Combine Empire. Among the articles, he saw mention of Khoria having successfully propped up several colonies throughout its solar system. He felt a twinge of pain at the sight of this, but it quickly faded. He knew what had to be done. At least Khoria would continue to expand and develop, he thought to himself. The three sat there awkwardly for hours, the occasional cough from Grievous the only noise to fill the room. Eventually, Amonger arrived. He apologized for his tardiness and took his seat across the table from Grievous. Grievous reluctantly conducted the formal opening of the meeting and took his seat upon its completion. “So, 3301, I was told you had found something of interest?” the General inquired. “Y-yes, General. A report was filed to my office a few days ago. I want you to l-look at it.” As Grievous took the holopad from him, 3301 may as well have been sweating bullets. He was visibly uncomfortable with this whole meeting. Phovus wondered just what the hell The Auditor had done to him to have the usually calm and collected G-Man variant this raddled. Grievous scoured the holopad, taking particular care to absorb every last detail included in the document. Suddenly, a spark of burning anger lit up in his eyes. He immediately snapped his head to face Amonger. “So, Amonger, did you think your betrayal would not one day be exposed?” Amonger was visibly confused, surprisingly composed in the face of an angry Grievous. “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about General, what exactly are you accusing me of here?” “The weapons deals you’ve been making with the humans you imbecile!” Grievous shouted, the entire room shaking from his voice alone. “I assure you I have done no such thing, General.” The two went back and forth for what seemed like an eternity until Grievous singled out Phovus for his opinion on the matter. “I believe the evidence speaks for itself, General. Amonger is clearly a traitor to the Combine Empire and should be punished as such.” Amonger immediately took notice of this and accused Phovus in return. He pointed out how Phovus would be the most likely culprit, seeking to make up for his lost profits by the budgetary restrictions placed on him in order to continue his research into the Nexus Core and the further development of the NCRI. Grievous was taken aback by this, everything Amonger said made sense. Although he did not show it, Phovus was terrified. Everything he had worked for could be jeopardized now. It was then that G-3301, in a fit of anxiety and desperation, yelled out “Red Sus!” For whatever reason, this immediately swayed Grievous back towards blaming Amonger. Amonger was sentenced to death on the spot by Grievous, leading to the Admiral’s escape from Polus Base where he would disappear for thousands of years. With Amonger out of the way, Phovus directed the NCRI to begin making preparations for an emergency trip to Ganymede. All but Phovus’ most trusted officials were kept in the dark about the purpose of this trip. He had his most elite troops board his craft headed by his favorite subordinate, Captain Sikalyon. He gave explicit orders to his second in command, Colonel Gestalt, to inflict as much damage as possible to the Combine using what assets the NCRI had left. Finally, he fashioned himself a blade with the power of the Improbability Drive made of a new element he named Unobtanium. Unobtanium was essentially the perfect metal, dense and strong, but light enough to not require a great deal of strength to wield it. Phovus would dub this weapon the Binary Sword. With everything set in motion, Phovus boarded the shuttle set to Ganymede.

== Dissenters Be Damned ==
As Phovus boarded the transport cruiser, every soldier saluted him as he passed them. The Improbability Drive, now outfitted with the Nexus Core, was placed onboard the ship in the most secure container available to the NCRI. Phovus took his seat aboard the cruiser, sitting next to Captain Sikalyon. “You seem worried, sir,” Sikalyon commented. “It’s nothing, Captain,” Phovus replied, hoping his leg would stop bouncing out of anxiety. “I’m confident you will see us through this, sir.” Sikalyon’s words had hardly registered with Phovus initially, but they nonetheless eased him a bit. These men were relying on him. Dissenters they may be, the lot of them likely damned the minute they were to stand trial in one of the Earth people’s courts, but they needed him. He alone was responsible for where their fates would lie, a notion he did not take lightly. The starship sailed calmly through space, passing by the rings of Saturn on its voyage to Ganymede. Phovus stared at the planet’s rings for a moment. He had seen dozens of other planets like it, those with rings twice the size or even dual ring systems, but in that moment, it struck him as the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Phovus took a minute to rest, the sounds of the starships’ engines lulling him to sleep.

== The Polus Insurrection ==
Grievous was staring out the window of his office in Polus Base when a request to access his office came across his personal holopad. “Enter.” Grievous simply commanded. As the doors to his office slid open, a Combine foot soldier stumbled into the room, visibly injured. This immediately grabbed Grievous’ attention who inquired about what was going on. “It’s Colonel Gestalt, sir! He and the NCRI are in open rebellion against our forces! I only just barely got away, we have to-” Grievous angrily slammed his robotic hand against the soldier’s throat and lifted him off the ground, leaning in as close as he could. “Coward! Your failure will be the last mistake you ever make!” Grievous then snapped the soldier’s neck as he made his way towards the exit to his office. Grievous was almost entirely consumed with rage. He should have known Phovus would have organized something like this. The one thing that brought Grievous solace was the knowledge that he could finally strangle the life out of the Khorian as he had so desperately desired to for all these years. He marched his way directly to the NCRI’s sector of Polus, fully intent on obliterating every last one of Phovus’ lackeys. As he made it to the frontline, the Combine troops turned in awe at their general, his figure towering over each and every one of them. He effortlessly stood atop the dozens and dozens of storage crates the Combine troops had piled up as an impromptu cover, and stared across the battlefield, the combat having rendered Triton’s cratered surface even more damaged. A plasma round came flying directly at Grievous’ head, which he caught with minimal effort. He stared at the casing as the energy fizzled from it, and crushed it in the palm of his unfeeling durasteel hand. Turning his attention back to the frontline, Grievous drew two of his lightsabers and ignited them, leaping from the crates and sprinting at a blinding speed towards the NCRI-held trench. His first victim was not even granted the swift mercy of a lightsaber, instead meeting his end at the end of the razor-sharp claws that acted as Grievous’ feet. The fallen soldier’s comrades turned to face Grievous, but before the closest two could even fire, their heads were rendered from their shoulders. The rest of the soldiers stood in abject horror, which Grievous silently relished. Wasting no time, Grievous began to carve through the troops that remained in the trench, savoring the look of terror on the faces of each and every single one that he slaughtered. Grievous’ push had allowed the Combine troops to launch a counteroffensive, no doubt attracting the attention of Colonel Gestalt. Grievous knew of Gestalt, “The Combine’s Black Hand” he was known as, on account of the untold number of assassinations he had committed in the name of Emperor Xos. Grievous always hated the ones that hid, they were typically far more annoying than killing them was worth. As the Combine troops secured the trench, Grievous ordered the bodies of the NCRI troops to be piled upon one another, to which his troops obliged. Grievous scaled the pile, standing at its summit, and he called out to Gestalt. “Gestalt! I know you are the one behind this, and I know Phovus has put you up to it! Surrender now and I may yet spare you if you tell me where the Director has run off to!” “Mercy, General?” a disembodied voice responded. “You seriously expect me to be so foolish as to believe you capable of such a thing? Don’t make me laugh.” Just then a rocket launched, seemingly from thin air, as it crashed into the pile of bodies sending Grievous tumbling to the floor. Grievous quickly caught himself courtesy of his cybernetic appendages, but was unable to foresee Gestalt boosting directly towards him. Gestalt latched himself directly on top of Grievous, attempting to jam a knife into his eye. Grievous grabbed Gestalt and threw him off of himself, sending the assassin into the ground and kicking up a cloud of dust. Grievous immediately went to stomp at where Gestalt had been, being met with an ion mine instead, temporarily disabling his robotics. Grievous struggled with all of his might to move, but could not. Gestalt decloaked directly in front of him, taking an extending spear-like weapon from his homeworld and jamming it between Grievous’ chest plates, separating them and exposing his organ casing. Grievous knew this could very quickly turn against him if he didn’t act right now. Gestalt lined up his shoulder-mounted plasma cannon with Grievous’ chest, and began the firing sequence. Grievous struggled as hard as he could, but still his cybernetics refused to budge. However, just before the plasma cannon could fire, the ionic disruption timed out allowing Grievous to grab Gestalt’s plasma cannon and crush it. Gestalt attempted to slip past Grievous again, only to catch the general’s knee to his chest, knocking the wind out of him. Grievous ignited one of his remaining lightsabers, and impaled Gestalt with it. The fight now certainly over, Grievous lifted Gestalt by his neck. “Phovus! Where is he!? Now!” Gestalt simply smiled and spat in Grievous’ face. This angered the cyborg, who slammed Gestalt into the wall of the trench. “I will not ask again!” “You know, Grievous, I very seriously doubt you can get to him by now, so why not? Ganymede. He’s headed there. Not that you’ll ever see him again, you worm.” Grievous tore Gestalt’s head off in rage at his insult, and, taking a moment to ease his nerves, rounded up his finest troops onto a shuttle on course for Ganymede.

== The Battle of Ganymede ==
Phovus awoke as the shuttle touched down on the surface of Ganymede. His men immediately scurried out from the ship to meet with the MTO troops already present on the moon’s surface. Phovus himself, however, took a moment before exiting to contemplate his circumstances. He glanced at the Improbability Drive, almost second-guessing his decision to betray the Combine for a moment before reality settled back in. It didn’t matter now, he had made his decision. He walked down the ramp of the starship, stepping out onto the freezing, rocky, surface of Ganymede. His gaze met the MTO troops, their rifles raised at the NCRI soldiers meant to safeguard their transaction. “I assure you, gentlemen, those will not be necessary,” Phovus spoke, attempting to deescalate the situation. To the Earth people, there was no way for them to know this wasn’t some form of trap. Phovus was well-known as a very loyal member of the Combine’s invasion force, being responsible for many of their successes against Earth. “Show us the Drive, Phovus. Then we’ll decide if the guns are necessary,” one of the troopers, clearly an officer of some sort, called to him. Phovus took note of the katana sheathed on the soldier's hip. No doubt this was someone of importance to the MTO, only high-ranking individuals were granted them. “Very well,” Phovus replied calmly, as he motioned for Captain Sikalyon to offload the Improbability Drive from the ship. “I assume ''this'' will have earned your trust?” The MTO officer approached the Drive, and crouched down to observe it. After inspecting the device for about a minute, the soldier stood back up and motioned for his troops to lower their rifles and to begin loading the device onto their ship. Phovus approached the officer, and inquired about the transport of his men and himself. “We have another ship incoming to pick up you and your men, both ships will depart at the same time.” “I must object officer..., uh, what is your name?” “Commander Cumshoes, sir.” Phovus found this name odd, almost cringeworthy, but he wasn’t exactly in any position to complain. “Commander, it’s possible the Combine are already aware of my betrayal and are on their way here, no doubt with a significant force. They know they can’t afford for me to join your side.” “My apologies, but it’s standard protocol, sir. I’m no fan of it myself, but I don’t hold the authority to object. We’re just going to have to sit here until the secondary transport arriv-” just then, a massive laser blast crashed into Phovus’ ship, leaving only a crater and smoldering ash. A Combine dropship descended onto the surface of Ganymede, MTO and NCRI troopers alike raised their guns at the ship. “I knew we couldn’t trust him, that bastard was bait for us!” one of the MTO troops complained. Commander Cumshoes ordered the trooper to silence herself, but the idea had already been spouted. Several of the MTO troops turned their aim towards Phovus, and the NCRI troops turned their aim to the MTO. “Lower your weapons! Now!” Cumshoes ordered, but none of his troops obeyed. Phovus took initiative, and ordered his troops to stand down. “But sir, they’ll kill yo-” Sikalyon objected, before Phovus interrupted him. “Our only chance to escape this barren rock is with them. You open fire, and we will all die regardless of it being at their hands or the Combine’s.” Sikalyon was visibly distressed, before he repeated Phovus’ order. The NCRI troops lowered their guns, and the MTO did so in return now understanding that if Phovus were truly still with the Combine, he would not have put himself in a position where his only method of survival lay with those he would need to kill. “How disappointing.” a voice rang out over the intercom of the Combine dropship as it touched down on the surface of Ganymede. The ramp of the ship lowered, the dust from the surface obscuring the ship’s occupants. Faintly, through the dust, Phovus saw two familiar glows, one green and the other blue. If he wasn’t already certain of who’s presence the glows signified, the sound of heavy metal footsteps and a robotic wheezing confirmed it. General Grievous was here. “Hello there, Phovus. Pray tell, what exactly did you think was going to happen the minute the remnants of the NCRI began to attack my troops? Did you think I would not immediately notice your absence? Did you think I would not immediately come to find you?” Phovus remained silent, his heart was nearly beating through his chest. “Silence, as expected of a betrayer.” Dozens of Combine troops began to spill from the dropship, all brandishing the best equipment the Empire had to offer. No doubt, these were Grievous’ personal guard. “I am ensuring my own survival, General. You would be wise to do the same before the Empire deems you ‘no longer valuable’ as well.” “Did your survival necessitate the betrayal of Admiral Amonger, Phovus? And what of the troops you so willingly sacrificed purely to divert my resources?” Phovus’ hand tightened into a fist at his side. Grievous held no position worthy of judging him, he had sacrificed billions of Combine troops in his campaign against Earth alone. “Honorable martyrs, each and every last one of them. Their sacrifice shall enable me to see the filth of both you and the Combine Empire driven from this system and, Gods willing, from this galaxy.” Grievous clearly grew tired of discussion, the rage in his eyes visible from the distance Phovus was from him. “Enough of this drivel about righteousness! I have come to spill the blood of a traitor, and nothing more!” Upon finishing his sentence, Grievous lunged at Phovus who drew the Binary Sword from his back. As their blades locked, both sides opened fire on the other. Grievous was caught off guard by the Binary Sword being capable of resisting his lightsabers, Phovus saw the opportunity before him and sidestepped, allowing Grievous’ blades to slice into the ground. Phovus attempted to jab into Grievous’ side, hoping to slide the Binary Sword between the plates that made up the armor surrounding his organ casing. Grievous proved to be faster, however, and deflected the stab with one of his lightsabers. This sent Phovus stumbling backwards, allowing Grievous to take the upper hand in the fight. The cyborg repeatedly swung his lightsabers at Phovus, who only barely managed to block each attack. Grievous swung downward towards Phovus’ head, an attack the Khorian easily blocked. Unbeknownst to Phovus however, Grievous had allowed one of his lightsabers to slip his grasp, rebounding off the Binary Sword had sent it flying into the air. Almost faster than Phovus could react, Grievous caught the saber with one of his feet and scraped the blade across the surface of Ganymede, sending a cloud of dust flying at Phovus. His vision obscured, Phovus did not have enough time to react to Grievous’ next attack which dismembered his left hand, the dominant one, from the elbow down. Phovus let out a yell of pain, but did not have enough time to tend to his injury as Grievous swung again, this time aimed at his eyes. Phovus brought up the Binary Sword with his remaining hand to defend himself, narrowly avoiding having been blinded. As the adrenaline hit his system, Phovus began to find himself predicting Grievous’ attacks. He had not fought in many years, but found his old skills returning to him. Grievous took notice of this, he could not afford to keep this fight going much longer. Even if Phovus died here, the Earthlings would have the Improbability Drive; a failure not even he would be immune to the consequences of. Grievous’ sabers met the Binary Sword once more, and he decided to end the fight here and now. Letting one of his sabers slip from his hand, he split the lower half of the same limb to catch it and thrust the blade into Phovus’ side, sending him falling to the ground. “I have awaited this moment for so long, Director.” Grievous spoke, as he slammed his foot onto Phovus’ chest, the cyborg’s claws puncturing his flesh and crushing bone. Phovus coughed up blood, a sight Grievous took great pleasure in. Phovus weakly attempted to swing the Binary Sword at Grievous, the blade only softly clinking against the general’s metallic body. Grievous split his arm, and merely batted the sword away. “Pathetic.” Grievous said, as he aligned his lightsabers alongside Phovus’ neck. Expecting death, Phovus was instead met with light of a different kind. An explosion ruptured on Grievous’ back, sending the cyborg flying off of Phovus. His vision and hearing distorted, Phovus caught a glimpse of Captain Sikalyon, a rocket launcher in hand from which emanated smoke. Grievous had clearly seen him, as the cyborg was now rushing towards the Captain, blocking every bolt of laser and plasma sent his way. Phovus struggled to sit up, much less stand. He fell to the ground, and coughed up yet more blood. He could only lay there and watch as Grievous and Sikaylon fought, the Captain somehow holding off Grievous with his fists alone. Phovus could feel the life leaving him, but before his vision faded he saw the hazy visage of a man in a suit. The man brushed his coat, adjusted his tie, and told Phovus to “rise and shine.”

In an instant, Phovus’ strength was inexplicably renewed. He looked around for the man, but he was nowhere to be seen. That didn’t matter, though. He had something far more important to do. Seizing the Binary Sword, Phovus scanned the battle for Grievous. As his gaze finally met the Kaleesh warlord, he witnessed Captain Sikalyon be seized by the throat by Grievous and be impaled by one of his lightsabers. Enraged, Phovus charged toward Grievous. Impossibly, Phovus crossed several dozen feet in mere seconds. The Binary Sword, which had been dragged along the ground for the entire duration of Phovus’ charge, was lit ablaze by the friction. Grievous turned his head just in time for him to witness the loss of his right arm, the one that held Captain Sikalyon, up to the shoulder. Phovus stood before him armless, and his sword burning. Grievous saw in Phovus’ eyes a rage he had not seen in millennia. Phovus the scientist was a meek and quiet man Grievous could easily churn into paste were it not for the will of his superiors, but before him now stood Phovus the warrior, a force the Omniverse had not seen since his recruitment to the CIFC, the scourge of nearly every system in the Northern Belt of the Milky Way, now directed solely at him. For the first time since he could remember, Grievous felt not just fear, but true unadulterated terror. “I am not finished with you, yet. General.” Phovus spoke quietly and calmly, unnaturally so. Grievous stumbled back from Sikalyon, his head on a swivel to search for his ship. Phovus began to slowly approach him, and Grievous began to spin one of his lightsabers as a method of keeping the Khorian at bay while he searched. Phovus caught the blade mid-spin, stopping it. Phovus then moved his blade out from underneath Grievous’ lightsaber, and sliced the General’s upper left hand off from the wrist. Weaponless, Grievous sought to scurry away from the fight. In response, Phovus stabbed downward into one of Grievous’ legs, pinning him to the ground. Phovus walked to where he could face Grievous, and kneeled down to where he could be at eye level with him. Phovus seized Grievous’ face, ensuring he could not look away, and uttered one sentence: “Let yourself remember this moment. Wherever you crawl away to after this war ends, I promise you, if I ever cross paths with you again, I will not hesitate to kill you.” Phovus then released Grievous’ face, removed the Binary Sword from his leg, and moved back towards Sikalyon. Grievous immediately ordered the Combine to retreat back into the ship. An order his troops were more than willing to comply with, as despite their inferior numbers, both the MTO and NCRI troops had inflicted significant casualties to the Combine troops. Phovus knelt beside Sikaylon, who barely clinged to life. “I am sorry, my friend.” Phovus whispered, barely managing to fight back his tears. “No apologies necessary, sir. We all knew what this mission meant.” Phovus remained silent, unable to speak lest he be consumed by emotion. “But, promise me one thing, sir.” “Of course.” “Be sure you stop those Combine scum from ruining this galaxy, too.” “I promise.” Sikalyon smiled as life left him, and Phovus collapsed next to him out of exhaustion.

(Article in progress, soz)
[[Category:Characters]]
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Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)

2026-04-12T05:07:24Z

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957:

[[File:MAgarrium.jpg|thumb|His Magarrishness]]
{{Character|name=Donald J. Trump|aliases=The Great MAGA King
Drumpf|affiliation=The Employers

Thu'um Rebellion

Aeternian Empire

Nova Aeternia

United States of America|occupation=God-Emperor of Earth

Consul of Nova Aeternia

President of the United States|birthDate=Unknown|birthPlace=The Outervoid|deathDate=1 A.B.|deathPlace=Glue Factory in Albuquerque, NM|species=Human (God-Mantle)|gender=Male|height=7'2|eyes=Blue|marital=Eternally Soul-Tethered to Vice Emperor Mike Pence|weight=18,000,000,000,000,000 Kilograms}}

[[File:Gory.png|thumb|Glory]]

=== Description ===
Donald Trump, aka The Great MAGA King, was a vitally important

[[File:MAGA Crown of Gold.png|thumb|The Great MAGA King wearing his casual crown of gold]]
(Finish this ASAP)[[File:Trump.jpg|thumb|259x259px|Trump, using his eyes]]
[[Category:Gods]]