Blade Runner 2049 AB - Revision history

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: 17 revisions imported

2026-04-07T06:53:03Z

17 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 16:53, 7 April 2026
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w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 21:42, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T21:42:14Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:42, 24 May 2023
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	The [[West Valley Central School]] cafeteria crumbled away into nothingness as Keith launched himself at G-Man. He tackled him, catching him in a dive, and as the floor gave out from beneath them, the two engaged in a fierce fistfight midair. They fell through the fog aimlessly, with no sense of direction.		The [[West Valley Central School]] cafeteria crumbled away into nothingness as Keith launched himself at G-Man. He tackled him, catching him in a dive, and as the floor gave out from beneath them, the two engaged in a fierce fistfight midair. They fell through the fog aimlessly, with no sense of direction.

	The G-Man's skin, as they fell, contorted and pressed against his bones, ~~turning~~		The G-Man's skin, as they fell, contorted and pressed against his bones, melting away to reveal a metallic shell within. Keith kept throwing punches; but felt himself weakening with each blow.

			Keith closed his eyes as G-Man's attacks came faster, and faster. He began bludgeoning Keith with his suitcase, attacking his son's face over, and over, and over, until Keith was bleeding sap all over the both of them. Keith felt himself falling out of consciousness, and felt his limbs go limp. Then, suddenly, his feet were... upright. Keith rubbed his eyes and made out the interior of the [[Albuquerque]] Glue Factory. He was standing, and sinking, in a giant vat of Glue. The G-Man stood above him, on an operating platform, his new metallic skin reflecting explosions beneath them. Keith heard furious voices; the screaming of two aeonic beings below them, dueling to the death. The Glue Factory echoed with the screams of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]] and [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)\|Donald J. Trump]], who were locked in a tense duel.

			"Time is up, my little birthling." The [[G- Man\|G-Man]] snickered, pushing a lever forward. Keith felt the glue creeping up his body; it passed his shoulders, now, and he gasped for air over the noxious fumes of the glue brew. Suddenly, a massive silhouette towered over both of them; The Mummy, covered in blue flames, with his skin melting off of the bone, loomed over them, his head touching the factory ceiling.

			"Nothing wrong with a little brawl, now and then, right, jack?" The fire-covered Mummy boomed, staring down as Keith sunk into the Glue vat.

			"Help... me..." Keith gasped, reaching a glue-covered hand up to Joe Biden.

			"No can do, Jack. Your fate is sealed." The Mummy said, somberly, reaching out a finger and pushing Keith further into the glue.

			== Nightcall ==
			Keith's life flashed before his eyes; his childhood, the war, things he hadn't known yet, and things that had already come to pass. Visions of the people he loved; [[6]], [[Gerald H.\|Gerald H]], [[Rick Hernia]], [[Jezebel\|Jezebe]]<nowiki/>l... and then, an empty room, An empty room, with him in the middle of it, and a cloaked figure looming over him-- and then, total darkness.

			Keith awoke to a familar, yet uncomfortable voice... the Mummy... he opened his eyes. He was in a medical ward, covered in bruises and scrapes.

			"... this dude, he's a Waifurian hero, jack! Come on, man. I'll pay for his treatment-- look, just give him the care he needs, okay?" The Mummy said to a medic, winking at Keith. The nurse nodded, and Mummy handed her a hunk of illustrious, strange metal. "I think this should cover it." He whispered, before patting her on the shoulder. Keith stared up at the ceiling, numbly. He looked out at the window, at the Syndor City skyline, and sighed.

			Keith reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a joint, lighting it. The nurse didn't like it, but he didn't care. He was a 'Waifurian Hero'. Whatever that means.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 21:25, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T21:25:33Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:25, 24 May 2023
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	The fog on the ceiling now crept across the floor, towards Keith and The G-Man, and it seeped in through the windows, and the doors. The walls began crumbling in like plaster.		The fog on the ceiling now crept across the floor, towards Keith and The G-Man, and it seeped in through the windows, and the doors. The walls began crumbling in like plaster.

	"Now, come and give your...' G-Man paused, unsure of the right word to use, "...Daddy, hmm?" he faintly smiled to himself, "a hug." Keith shook his head and clambered out from beneath the table. Every muscle in his body was telling him to run, to hide, to get out of that place. But something inside of him ~~told~~ him ~~otherwise~~.		"Now, come and give your...' G-Man paused, unsure of the right word to use, "...Daddy, hmm?" he faintly smiled to himself, "a hug." Keith shook his head and clambered out from beneath the table. Every muscle in his body was telling him to run, to hide, to get out of that place. But there was something inside of him... something hard to explain. Something that stopped him from running. This time, he would face his father. This time, justice would be served.

	== But You're Still The Same ==		== But You're Still The Same ==
			[[File:!!!!.jpg\|thumb\|G-Man and his son, Keith, when Keith was just a young boy. ]]
			The [[West Valley Central School]] cafeteria crumbled away into nothingness as Keith launched himself at G-Man. He tackled him, catching him in a dive, and as the floor gave out from beneath them, the two engaged in a fierce fistfight midair. They fell through the fog aimlessly, with no sense of direction.

			The G-Man's skin, as they fell, contorted and pressed against his bones, turning

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 21:21, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T21:21:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:21, 24 May 2023
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	"There's chicken in the pot, beans in the bowl, and salad in the cup." 6 said, soullessly. Keith watched in terror as his mother's flesh began rotting off of her bones, and she slowly crumpled to the cafeteria floor, rotting until all that was left was a skeleton.		"There's chicken in the pot, beans in the bowl, and salad in the cup." 6 said, soullessly. Keith watched in terror as his mother's flesh began rotting off of her bones, and she slowly crumpled to the cafeteria floor, rotting until all that was left was a skeleton.

			"I am impartial to a nicely roasted chicken, dear..." G-Man muttered, disregarding his wife's death, "However, there are some things in life I prefer to be..."

			he glared at Gerald with malice, "unnudged, hmm?"

			Keith, at this, jumped up from beneath the table and shielded Gerald from his father.

			"Leave him alone, Dad! Leave him alone!" Keith screamed, falling to his hands as knees and begging his father for mercy. G-Man stared down at him, neutrally, and then looked to Gerald.

			"What do you think, Gerald. Would you like to be vaporized?"

			"No! No! No!" Keith screamed, banging his fists on the tile floor.

			"Yes, please, Mr. G-Man, sir!" Gerald responded happily, before exploding into a cloud of dust.

			The fog on the ceiling now crept across the floor, towards Keith and The G-Man, and it seeped in through the windows, and the doors. The walls began crumbling in like plaster.

			"Now, come and give your...' G-Man paused, unsure of the right word to use, "...Daddy, hmm?" he faintly smiled to himself, "a hug." Keith shook his head and clambered out from beneath the table. Every muscle in his body was telling him to run, to hide, to get out of that place. But something inside of him told him otherwise.

			== But You're Still The Same ==

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 21:15, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T21:15:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:15, 24 May 2023
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	"No... no... I don't want to see him! I don't want to see Dad!" Keith shrieked, crawling under the table. "No! No! No! Tell him to go away!"		"No... no... I don't want to see him! I don't want to see Dad!" Keith shrieked, crawling under the table. "No! No! No! Tell him to go away!"

	[[6]] shook her head, laughing. "Oh, Keith. You're so silly! Come on, get back in your seat!"		[[6]] shook her head, laughing. "Oh, Keith. You're so silly! Come on, get back in your seat!" She opened the door revealing a blinding white rectangle of light; out of which a silhouette of a man with a briefcase emerged. The overhead lights flickered in the cafeteria and a low rumbling filled the air.

			"Hello, my dear." A stilted, unnatural voice filled the cafeteria; surrounding Keith, trapping him in its vortex.

			"Hi, love. How was work today?" 6 asked the figure, wrapping him in her cold embrace. Keith's father stood rigid, staring straight ahead, before cocking his neck and fixating on the table-fixating directly on Keith. The [[G- Man\|G-Man]] straightened his tie and hugged his wife back.

			"Much a-do without nothing, my dear. Or however that saying goes." G-Man stated coldly, before stepping towards Keith and [[Gerald H.\|Gerald]] at the table. Keith backed further and further back against the table legs, cowering with each of G-Man's steps.

			6 followed behind G-Man, expressionlessly.

			"What's the matter, Keith?" Gerald asked, looking from G-Man to Keith.

			"Yes, Keith," G-Man added, his skin reflecting the cafeteria lighting erroneously, "whatever seems to be the... matter?"

			"There's chicken in the pot, beans in the bowl, and salad in the cup." 6 said, soullessly. Keith watched in terror as his mother's flesh began rotting off of her bones, and she slowly crumpled to the cafeteria floor, rotting until all that was left was a skeleton.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 21:02, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T21:02:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:02, 24 May 2023
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	"Mom!" Keith exclaimed, jumping for joy. The heavy wooden doors of [[West Valley Central School]] appeared in front of the duo, and Gerald approached them, holding the doors open for Keith to enter. Keith bowed and ran into the building.		"Mom!" Keith exclaimed, jumping for joy. The heavy wooden doors of [[West Valley Central School]] appeared in front of the duo, and Gerald approached them, holding the doors open for Keith to enter. Keith bowed and ran into the building.

	The school was just as Keith had remembered it; with it's purple chipped paint and strange, soup-like odor.		The school was just as Keith had remembered it; with it's purple chipped paint and strange, soup-like odor. Keith danced through the halls, skipping up and down past his old classrooms.

			"Come on, Keith! This way!" Gerald shouted, hopping down the handicapped ramp to the cafeteria. Keith followed him. Something was nagging at him in the back of his head; but he put it to rest. ''Enjoy this, Keith,'' a voice told him inside of his head.

			When the boys entered the cafeteria, Keith felt his stomach lurch. The walls were high... impossibly high. The ceiling was that strange pink mist. "Don't look up, Keith!" Gerald growled, cheerfully, before hopping further into the cafeteria. Around the dining hall were strange sconces of various sizes and qualities; they were lit with an ominous blue flame. But this, Keith hardly noticed, because in front of him, now, stood his beloved mother, [[6]], with a full dinner prepared for them. She waved warmly to the boys, and beckoned them over to her table.

			She had set the table for four; covered it with a green tablecloth and set out ornate silverware and plates. This was the only occupied table in the entire vast cafeteria.

			"How was school today, boys?" [[6]] asked, removing lids from the food and beverages and pouring the boys each a glass of orange juice.

			"Real good, Mrs. 6. Thanks for asking." Gerald answered, downing his glass of orange juice.

			"And how about you, Keith? How was your day?" 6 inquired. Keith opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a loud knocking outside the cafeteria.

			"Sorry, honey, one second." 6 said, jumping up from her seat, "Let me go get this quick. Your father's home."

			== They're Talking About You, Boy ==
			[[File:Gerring.jpg\|thumb\|Time?]]
			The cafeteria began rumbling around them. The fog on the ceiling crept down the tall walls, growing ever closer to the floor.

			"No... no... I don't want to see him! I don't want to see Dad!" Keith shrieked, crawling under the table. "No! No! No! Tell him to go away!"

			[[6]] shook her head, laughing. "Oh, Keith. You're so silly! Come on, get back in your seat!"

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 20:50, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T20:50:37Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:50, 24 May 2023
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	== It's Hard To Explain ==		== It's Hard To Explain ==
	Keith awoke in a gloomy, misty fog. For as far as he could see, there was nothing but hazy pink mist; the ground beneath him was an ancient, decaying pavement. He stretched his wooden limbs and stood up. There were no traces of the bridge, or the tentacles, or the police. In fact, it was still eerily silent; eerily silent, that is, except for someone's shallow breathing. Keith couldn't see anyone around him; but he closed his eyes and tried to follow the breathing. It was slow and succinct; familiar, indeed.		Keith awoke in a gloomy, misty fog. For as far as he could see, there was nothing but hazy pink mist; the ground beneath him was an ancient, decaying pavement. He stretched his wooden limbs and stood up. There were no traces of the bridge, or the tentacles, or the police. In fact, it was still eerily silent; eerily silent, that is, except for someone's shallow breathing. Keith couldn't see anyone around him; but he closed his eyes and tried to follow the breathing. It was slow and succinct; familiar, indeed.

			Finally, Keith could make out a shadow in the distance; the breathing grew louder, and he felt himself instantly becoming at ease. As he approaching the figure, his expression softened a bit. A small, blue gourd-like figure was hunched on a rock, facing away from him.

			"Gerald?" Keith asked, cautiously, fixated on the figure. [[Gerald H.]] turned around, a smile plastered on his face.

			"K, old buddy!" Gerald exclaimed, hopping towards him. Keith ran up to his grade school friend and wrapped him in a warm embrace.

			"How are you?" Keith asked, in shock. He couldn't believe his childhood best friend was standing before him again.

			Gerald smiled, even wider. "Better, now that you're here. Come on, K! You're mom's making dinner. Best not be late!"

			"Mom!" Keith exclaimed, jumping for joy. The heavy wooden doors of [[West Valley Central School]] appeared in front of the duo, and Gerald approached them, holding the doors open for Keith to enter. Keith bowed and ran into the building.

			The school was just as Keith had remembered it; with it's purple chipped paint and strange, soup-like odor.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 20:44, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T20:44:05Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:44, 24 May 2023
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	== It's Hard To Explain ==		== It's Hard To Explain ==
			Keith awoke in a gloomy, misty fog. For as far as he could see, there was nothing but hazy pink mist; the ground beneath him was an ancient, decaying pavement. He stretched his wooden limbs and stood up. There were no traces of the bridge, or the tentacles, or the police. In fact, it was still eerily silent; eerily silent, that is, except for someone's shallow breathing. Keith couldn't see anyone around him; but he closed his eyes and tried to follow the breathing. It was slow and succinct; familiar, indeed.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 20:39, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T20:39:34Z

@@ Line 2: / Line 2: @@
 'Blade Runner 2049 AB', often shortened to 'Blade Runner' or '2049' was a grim documentary film set in the [[Waifurian Empire|Waifurian]] cybertropolis of [[Syndor City]]. The documentary followed lyricist and war veteran [[Keith Cumshoes]] as he navigated life within the overcrowded dystopia while tripping on Venusian Shroomlava.
-== Synopsis ==
+== The Trip ==
 The documentary begins with [[Keith Cumshoes]] sitting in an empty bullet train cabin alone, staring out the window at the acid-rain drenched Syndor skyline. He looks somber. The bullet train stops and a Waifurian Service Droid approaches him.
@@ Line 52: / Line 52: @@
 == There's Something Inside You ==
 [[File:Diane.png|thumb|500x500px|"You look lonely. I can fix that." -- Cyberwarden Dianne Feinstein of the [[Glop Bulb]] Memorial Parkway. ]]
-Kieth's fit of terorr was rudely
+Keith's fit of terror was rudely interrupted by the local police authorities, who had caught up to him in their hovercars. They began shouting at him, waving handcuffs around in the air and jeering at him, calling him names. Keith, panicking (it looked to him like the [[Combine]] had returned) scrambled off into the crowd of passerby, ducking and lunging between egregiously extravagant men, women, and vortigaunts. He turned a corner into an alley and found himself standing in a dense haze. In front of him was a rickety metal bridge over a deep canyon. This was the [[Glop Bulb]] Memorial Parkway, and beneath it was what had once been the Chesepeake Bay. Keith, hearing the sirens approaching from behind him, stepped cautiously onto the bridge. It was eerily silent, almost too silent. Pink xenonic fog wafted up around him, curling in alien tendrils over the bridge's railings. He relaxed and took a deep breath, as the SCP sirens faded out into the distance. Suddenly, he heard a voice whispering to him.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 20:21, 23 May 2023

2023-05-23T20:21:21Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:21, 24 May 2023
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	== There's Something Inside You ==		== There's Something Inside You ==
			[[File:Diane.png\|thumb\|500x500px\|"You look lonely. I can fix that." -- Cyberwarden Dianne Feinstein of the [[Glop Bulb]] Memorial Parkway. ]]
			Kieth's fit of terorr was rudely