Book of MAGA - Revision history

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957 at 04:03, 12 April 2026

2026-04-12T04:03:45Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:03, 12 April 2026
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	Of course, nobody who entered this hellscape could ever return; (This Fact was Grand). However, [[United States of America\|United States]] Military Drones, launched by President [[Bill Clinton]] determined that in fact the city had been transformed into a self-contained, gigatemperaturium Hell. Bill Clinton consulted with his dear friend, Pope Scrotum-Lord, about this development. Pope Scrotum-Lord answered the phone, laughing maniacally, and shrieking that 'the Rapture has Finally Come' and that Bill had 'Better Repent, for the Good of All That is Glorium!"		Of course, nobody who entered this hellscape could ever return; (This Fact was Grand). However, [[United States of America\|United States]] Military Drones, launched by President [[Bill Clinton]] determined that in fact the city had been transformed into a self-contained, gigatemperaturium Hell. Bill Clinton consulted with his dear friend, Pope Scrotum-Lord, about this development. Pope Scrotum-Lord answered the phone, laughing maniacally, and shrieking that 'the Rapture has Finally Come' and that Bill had 'Better Repent, for the Good of All That is Glorium!"
	[[File:Bill ~~clinton~~.png\|thumb\|Bill Clinton's Goblin Forme. ]]		[[File:Bill Clinton.png\|thumb\|Bill Clinton's Goblin Forme.]]

	== Poor Choice Of Words ==		== Poor Choice Of Words ==
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	About a million years later, the Omniverse was destroyed by [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s [[Aubergine\|Auberginic]] Activites. He never would have had access to [[Daniel Sproule]]'s [[Aubergine]] had the Aeternian Explorers never harvested the "Maga Plant' from the West Coast. Keith Cumshoes never realized, or at least, never publicly acknowledged, the fact that he was responsible for the entire Magaist Religion. Soon after Trump's 'death' in 1 AB, people began to deconvert from Magaism, with most becoming either Agnostic, Brandonianist, or, if they were feeling really brave, [[Dark MAGA]]. When the Waifurian Empire rolled around, all Books of MAGA were gathered up and torched in town squares, with roughly 7 remaining scattered across the Omniverse.		About a million years later, the Omniverse was destroyed by [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s [[Aubergine\|Auberginic]] Activites. He never would have had access to [[Daniel Sproule]]'s [[Aubergine]] had the Aeternian Explorers never harvested the "Maga Plant' from the West Coast. Keith Cumshoes never realized, or at least, never publicly acknowledged, the fact that he was responsible for the entire Magaist Religion. Soon after Trump's 'death' in 1 AB, people began to deconvert from Magaism, with most becoming either Agnostic, Brandonianist, or, if they were feeling really brave, [[Dark MAGA]]. When the Waifurian Empire rolled around, all Books of MAGA were gathered up and torched in town squares, with roughly 7 remaining scattered across the Omniverse.

	the Original Book Of MAGA was in [[G- Man\|G-Man’]]<nowiki/>s Pocket at the Glue Factory Incident, and was sucked into an [[Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster\|Albuquerque Black Hole]] upon the latter’s creation. This was Not Grand, as this Book contained the Blood of an Employerspawn within it. The Consequences of this action would finally come home to roost for The G-Man during the [[Final Battle at Exegar]] in the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)\|Great META War 3]].		the Original Book Of MAGA was in [[G- Man\|G-Man’]]<nowiki/>s Pocket at the Glue Factory Incident, and was sucked into an [[Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster\|Albuquerque Black Hole]] upon the latter’s creation. This was Not Grand, as this Book contained the Blood of an Employerspawn within it. The Consequences of this action would finally come home to roost for The G-Man during the [[Final Battle at Exegar]] in the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)\|Great META War 3]].
	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: 15 revisions imported

2026-04-07T06:53:06Z

15 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 16:53, 7 April 2026
(No difference)

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Gregory Billhyde at 01:12, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T01:12:44Z

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	That's right. We're going to have a big, beautiful, magnificent rapture. Like nobody has ever seen.		That's right. We're going to have a big, beautiful, magnificent rapture. Like nobody has ever seen.

			But you know what they say about Obamna? Crooked Obamna, they call him. [[Barack Obamna\|Obamna]]! What kind of a name is that? Anyways, they say he is very tough on raptures. Very tough. Very, very tough. And people come up to me- I know they will, and they do- and they say sir? How will we have a rapture with Obamna in charge? How will we have a rapture with that old Sot on the Board? Well, folks, that’s why I’m here. Today, I am announcing, and this is- this is big league, so listen up- I am officially running for President of the United States.

			<nowiki></nowiki>CHEERING

			Thank you very much. Magarra bless our troops. have fun.

	_SPEECH END_		_SPEECH END_

	== Rapture Edging Spectacle ==		== Rapture Edging Spectacle ==
	~~Sorry~~ to burst your ~~bubbles~~, but ~~this~~ so-called 'Rapture' just ended up being one of a million promises made by the MAGA King that never came true. Granted, he might have had a bit more luck with his aspirations had he not been consumed inside of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s soullean [[Glue Form]] in 1 AB. But Alas...		The Editors are very sorry to burst your bubble, (especially after you’ve come All This Way) but the so-called 'Rapture' just ended up being one of a million promises made by the MAGA King that never came true. Granted, he might have had a bit more luck with his aspirations had he not been consumed inside of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s soullean [[Glue Form]] in 1 AB. But Alas...

			About a million years later, the Omniverse was destroyed by [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s [[Aubergine\|Auberginic]] Activites. He never would have had access to [[Daniel Sproule]]'s [[Aubergine]] had the Aeternian Explorers never harvested the "Maga Plant' from the West Coast. Keith Cumshoes never realized, or at least, never publicly acknowledged, the fact that he was responsible for the entire Magaist Religion. Soon after Trump's 'death' in 1 AB, people began to deconvert from Magaism, with most becoming either Agnostic, Brandonianist, or, if they were feeling really brave, [[Dark MAGA]]. When the Waifurian Empire rolled around, all Books of MAGA were gathered up and torched in town squares, with roughly 7 remaining scattered across the Omniverse.

	~~About a million years later,~~ the ~~Omniverse~~ was ~~destroyed by~~ [[~~Joe Biden (Disambigaution)~~\|~~Joe Biden~~]]'s [[~~Aubergine~~\|~~Auberginic~~]] ~~Activites~~. ~~He never~~ would ~~have had access~~ to [[~~Daniel Sproule~~]]'s [[Aubergine]] had the Aeternian Explorers never harvested the "Maga Plant' from the West Coast. Keith Cumshoes never realized, or at least, never publicly acknowledged, the fact that he was responsible for the ~~entire Magaist Religion. Soon after Trump's 'death' in 1 AB, people began to deconvert from Magaism, with most becoming either Agnostic, Brandonianist, or, if they were feeling really brave,~~ [[~~Dark MAGA~~]].		the Original Book Of MAGA was in [[G- Man\|G-Man’]]<nowiki/>s Pocket at the Glue Factory Incident, and was sucked into an [[Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster\|Albuquerque Black Hole]] upon the latter’s creation. This was Not Grand, as this Book contained the Blood of an Employerspawn within it. The Consequences of this action would finally come home to roost for The G-Man during the [[Final Battle at Exegar]] in the [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)\|Great META War 3]].
	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 00:21, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T00:21:19Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 10:21, 10 August 2023
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	So at the end... Mr. Balls here, look at my big scrotum friend-- Mr. Balls tells me that this book has quite an ending. A remarkable ending, that book? What do we think?"		So at the end... Mr. Balls here, look at my big scrotum friend-- Mr. Balls tells me that this book has quite an ending. A remarkable ending, that book? What do we think?"

	''Crowd starts chanting 'Rapture, Rapture, Rapture, Rapture'.''		''Crowd starts chanting 'Rapture, Rapture, Rapture, Rapture'.''




			That's right. We're going to have a big, beautiful, magnificent rapture. Like nobody has ever seen.

			_SPEECH END_

			== Rapture Edging Spectacle ==
			Sorry to burst your bubbles, but this so-called 'Rapture' just ended up being one of a million promises made by the MAGA King that never came true. Granted, he might have had a bit more luck with his aspirations had he not been consumed inside of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s soullean [[Glue Form]] in 1 AB. But Alas...

			About a million years later, the Omniverse was destroyed by [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Joe Biden]]'s [[Aubergine\|Auberginic]] Activites. He never would have had access to [[Daniel Sproule]]'s [[Aubergine]] had the Aeternian Explorers never harvested the "Maga Plant' from the West Coast. Keith Cumshoes never realized, or at least, never publicly acknowledged, the fact that he was responsible for the entire Magaist Religion. Soon after Trump's 'death' in 1 AB, people began to deconvert from Magaism, with most becoming either Agnostic, Brandonianist, or, if they were feeling really brave, [[Dark MAGA]].
	[[Category:Events]]		[[Category:Events]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 00:16, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T00:16:39Z

@@ Line 82: / Line 82: @@
 Wow. Whoa. This is some group of people. Thousands.
-So nice, thank you very much. That’s really nice. Thank you. It’s great to be in West Valley. It’s great to be in a wonderful place, New York. And it’s an honor to have everybody here. This is beyond anybody’s expectations. There’s been no crowd like this.
+So nice, thank you very much. That’s really nice. Thank you. It’s great to be in West Valley. It’s great to be in a wonderful place, [[New York City|New York]]. And it’s an honor to have everybody here. This is beyond anybody’s expectations. There’s been no crowd like this.
 [[Category:Events]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 00:12, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T00:12:41Z

@@ Line 77: / Line 77: @@
 == Rapture ==
-Despite the half-baked Rapture (Portland created, sinners did not go there, Trump did not return) Magaism continued to expand exponentially in followers over the next 15 years. Public interest in the religion came to a head when, miraculously, [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Donald J. Trump]] emerged from the Rocky Mountains, having hibernated for 235 years. He was soon arrested by the United States Government and interrogated by the Board of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Waifuria Chairman (Joe Biden)]],
+Despite the half-baked Rapture (Portland created, sinners did not go there, Trump did not return) Magaism continued to expand exponentially in followers over the next 15 years. Public interest in the religion came to a head when, in 5 BB, miraculously, [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)|Donald J. Trump]] emerged from the Rocky Mountains, having hibernated for 235 years. He was soon arrested by the United States Government and interrogated by the Board of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)|Waifuria Chairman (Joe Biden)]]. After his release, the MAGA King, having seen the decrepit and broken state of what had once been his glorious nation, visited the Scrotum-Lord at West Valley, and gave the following rousing speech:
 [[Category:Events]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 00:08, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T00:08:15Z

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	== Rapture ==		== Rapture ==
	Despite the half-baked Rapture (Portland created, sinners did not go there, Trump did not return) Magaism continued to expand exponentially in followers over the next 15 years. Public interest in the religion came to a head when, miraculously, [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)\|Donald J. Trump]] emerged from the Rocky Mountains, having hibernated for 235 years. He was soon arrested by the United States Government and interrogated by the Board of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Waifuria Chairman (Joe Biden)]],		Despite the half-baked Rapture (Portland created, sinners did not go there, Trump did not return) Magaism continued to expand exponentially in followers over the next 15 years. Public interest in the religion came to a head when, miraculously, [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)\|Donald J. Trump]] emerged from the Rocky Mountains, having hibernated for 235 years. He was soon arrested by the United States Government and interrogated by the Board of [[Joe Biden (Disambigaution)\|Waifuria Chairman (Joe Biden)]],
			[[Category:Events]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 00:07, 10 August 2023

2023-08-10T00:07:45Z

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 [[File:Imagerrrr.png|thumb]]
-== Portland Oregon ==
+== Portland, Oregon ==
-At this time, Portland Oregon was a fairly uneventful settlement.
+At this time, [[Portland Oregon]] was a fairly uneventful settlement. Nothing particularly odd happened there. Many Aeternians thought this was a bit of an odd place to be 'damned' to, with one person remarking, "What the hell is wrong with Portland, Oregon? Seems like as nice a place as any. I pray to Magarra I can be there someday."

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 23:40, 9 August 2023

2023-08-09T23:40:03Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:40, 10 August 2023
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	He stepped back and admired his work. Overtop of Aeterna, the G-Man had written '[[Portland Oregon]]'. This was, without a doubt, Grand. He slammed the book shut, tucked it under his elbow, and walked through a nonexistent doorway into a white void.		He stepped back and admired his work. Overtop of Aeterna, the G-Man had written '[[Portland Oregon]]'. This was, without a doubt, Grand. He slammed the book shut, tucked it under his elbow, and walked through a nonexistent doorway into a white void.

			== Scrotum Torsion ==
			The [[Aeternian Scrotum-Lord]] awoke the next morning to find a red, leather-bound book pressed into his hands. Its title read 'MAGA: Holy Bible' and it reeked of blood. The Scrotum-Lord jumped backward, his gargantuan ballsack dangling in his bathrobe. He examined the book with displeasure, before mustering up the courage to open it. His eyes darted across its pages; his face melted from shock, to fear, to denial, to anguish, to displeasure, and finally, to a wicked, sadistic grin. The Scrotum-Lord brought the book down to the Imperial Paper Mill, where he demanded it be replicated and distributed to the entirety of the Aeternian Public.

			Later that day, the Scrotum-Lord prepared a Grand Speech. The waning Aeternian Empire, enveloped in rampant inflation, overpopulation, political strife, lack of national identity, far-right uprisings, and of course, the recent intergalactic invasion, was desperately in need of a morale boost. The Scrotum-Lord approached the podium, the Paper Mill's Director at his side.

			"My Fellow Aeternians! Rejoice, and read now the holy book of our lord! See now where the righteous path of Maga leads!" He held a replication of Keith's Rapture picture up to the square, displaying it for all to see.

			"We must have faith, my fellow countrymen!" He exclaimed (Women were considered property at this time, so they were not allowed to speak). "Our Glorious Magarrishness will return to us, in time. We do not know when, we do not know where. But we do know this-- that when he returns, those who have been loyal to him and Magarra will be rewarded nicely. And those who haven't been loyal will be cast to the damned inferno of..."

			He squinted his eyes and read the G-Man's blood writing.

			"Portland Oregon!"
			[[File:Imagerrrr.png\|thumb]]

			== Portland Oregon ==
			At this time, Portland Oregon was a fairly uneventful settlement.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 23:30, 9 August 2023

2023-08-09T23:30:56Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:30, 10 August 2023
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	"Oh great Magarra," Keith began a somber prayer, "powerful lord of Magicks and Glory; hear my prayer. Please deliver us from this alien invasion; bring peace and justice back to this world. Oh Lord, please deliver to us his Magarrishness once again; let us bask in his divine light and see all that is good and holy. Amen." With that, Keith collapsed onto his bed, his pen ink dribbling across his notebook. That would've been the end of this story, my Dearies, but fortunately (or Unfortunately, depending on how you see it), Keith had lost a tooth the previous night.		"Oh great Magarra," Keith began a somber prayer, "powerful lord of Magicks and Glory; hear my prayer. Please deliver us from this alien invasion; bring peace and justice back to this world. Oh Lord, please deliver to us his Magarrishness once again; let us bask in his divine light and see all that is good and holy. Amen." With that, Keith collapsed onto his bed, his pen ink dribbling across his notebook. That would've been the end of this story, my Dearies, but fortunately (or Unfortunately, depending on how you see it), Keith had lost a tooth the previous night.

	Keith's Father, the [[G- Man\|G-Man]], cracked his son's bedroom door open with a penny in his hand. He approached his son's bed and carefully lifted his pillow up, placing the corroded copper disk underneath Keith's pillow. He began to leave, but noticed the open notebook on Keith's lap. The G-Man smiled softly to himself and picked it up. Using his night-vision, he read the strange and intricate notes of his son, scratching his head as the Magarrish insanity intensified. He gasped when he saw the final page; a glorious illustration of the [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)\|Great MAGA King]], hovering over a city. A crowd of good Magaists floated peacefully upward toward their glorious leader. However, on the other side of the painting, were a bunch of burning, twisted, contorted corpses and bodies, labeled ~~in what appeared to be blood~~ as 'Aeterna'. This greatly concerned the G-Man, and he took his son's notebook and stepped out of the room.		Keith's Father, the [[G- Man\|G-Man]], cracked his son's bedroom door open with a penny in his hand. He approached his son's bed and carefully lifted his pillow up, placing the corroded copper disk underneath Keith's pillow. He began to leave, but noticed the open notebook on Keith's lap. The G-Man smiled softly to himself and picked it up. Using his night-vision, he read the strange and intricate notes of his son, scratching his head as the Magarrish insanity intensified. He gasped when he saw the final page; a glorious illustration of the [[Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)\|Great MAGA King]], hovering over a city. A crowd of good Magaists floated peacefully upward toward their glorious leader. However, on the other side of the painting, were a bunch of burning, twisted, contorted corpses and bodies, labeled as 'Aeterna'. This greatly concerned the G-Man, and he took his son's notebook and stepped out of the room.

			=== Strange Strangeness ===
			What happened next is very hard to explain. However, as far as we can determine, the following was in fact a total coincidence. At least, that's what the [[Auditor]] told us, in between generous sips of [[J.F. Sweets\|JF Sweets]] Cherry Cola.

			Inexplicably, the G-Man pricked his own finger and dragged it across the notebook's page. He began tracing over the 'Aeterna' label, licking his lips in concentration. He drew a 'P', then an 'O', then an 'R', then a 'T'...

			He stepped back and admired his work. Overtop of Aeterna, the G-Man had written '[[Portland Oregon]]'. This was, without a doubt, Grand. He slammed the book shut, tucked it under his elbow, and walked through a nonexistent doorway into a white void.