Hazzorius Blume - Revision history

Doorbell3200Washcloth0957: 7 revisions imported

2026-04-07T06:54:10Z

7 revisions imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 16:54, 7 April 2026
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w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>SlabCorp Quality Review II at 22:28, 30 March 2026

2026-03-30T22:28:03Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 08:28, 31 March 2026
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	[[File:~~Blume~~.~~jpg~~\|thumb\|~~Blume.~~ ]]		[[File:Hazzorius.png\|thumb\|500x500px\|Hazzorius and his wares]]
	Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant.		Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant.

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32 at 20:50, 22 November 2023

2023-11-22T20:50:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:50, 23 November 2023
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	It's speculated that the first bones Hazzorius sold were actually those of his father.		It's speculated that the first bones Hazzorius sold were actually those of his father.

	Bizarrely, Hazzorius found he had quite an eager (albeit, secretive) demographic; his first set of skeleton sold out quickly. And so the bones kept coming. Hazzorius began spiralling into an increasingly unstable state of mental illness and schizophrenia, becoming so disillusioned with reality that he came to believe that he was God.		Bizarrely, Hazzorius found he had quite an eager (albeit, secretive) demographic; his first set of skeleton sold out quickly. And so the bones kept coming. Hazzorius began spiralling into an increasingly unstable state of mental illness and [[Schizophrenia (Disambiguation)\|schizophrenia]], becoming so disillusioned with reality that he came to believe that he was God.

	By 21 BB, however, Hazzorius found he had pretty much spent all of the skeletons in the greater Indianapolis area. There were no more graves to dig up; no more morgues to raid. Hazzorius fell into a deep depression. He began meditating, praying and hoping to "the Eternal" (unclear what that is) for 'more bones to sell'. Suddenly, Hazzorius found himself in a dark, empty room.		By 21 BB, however, Hazzorius found he had pretty much spent all of the skeletons in the greater Indianapolis area. There were no more graves to dig up; no more morgues to raid. Hazzorius fell into a deep depression. He began meditating, praying and hoping to "the Eternal" (unclear what that is) for 'more bones to sell'. Suddenly, Hazzorius found himself in a dark, empty room.
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	== Sales Continue ==		== Sales Continue ==
	Meanwhile, in the real world, Hazzorius continued selling individual Bones and skeletons, and exploited the fallout of the [[Bombing of Columbus\|Bombing of Columbu]]<nowiki/>s to the fullest extent; he raked in billions of dollars in profits. He believed he was living in his childhood home with his father, and was severely delusional, so much so that any attempt to interact with him outside of the storefront was a death sentence.		Meanwhile, in the real world, Hazzorius continued selling individual Bones and skeletons, and exploited the fallout of the [[Bombing of Columbus\|Bombing of Columbu]]<nowiki/>s to the fullest extent; he raked in billions of dollars in profits. He believed he was living in his childhood home with his father, and was severely delusional, so much so that any attempt to interact with him outside of the storefront was a death sentence.

	Hazzorius Blume would continue on in this decrepit state until 2 AB, when he was atomized in the [[Bombing of Columbus 2\|Second Bombing of Columbus]].		Hazzorius Blume would continue on in this decrepit state until 2 AB, when he was atomized in the [[Bombing of Columbus 2\|Second Bombing of Columbus]].

	[[Category:Characters]]		[[Category:Characters]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32 at 21:56, 2 December 2022

2022-12-02T21:56:41Z

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 "Uh... Okay... the ghost of Ohio Present...", came the disembodied voice, rather perturbed with what had just occurred.
-A hulking, slimy, ugly Combine Advisor entered the room, reaching a disgusting appendage out towards Hazzorius.
+A hulking, slimy, Combine Advisor entered the room, reaching a disgusting appendage out towards Hazzorius.
 "Earth will be Ours. We have won the battle, and we will win the war. We have infinite resources; infinite soldier; infinite money, infinite power. Earth is small and it is getting smaller. You are running out of time. Join ''Ohio,'' Hazzorius Blume. Join the Combine Liberation Force."
@@ Line 72: / Line 72: @@
 "What do I desire?"
-"My Employers have authorized me to... nudge things from time... to time. I feel that  the situation in Ohio has grown oh so dire... and something simply must be done of it..."
+"My [[Employers]] have authorized me to... nudge things from time... to time. I feel that  the situation in Ohio has grown oh so dire... and something simply must be done of it..."
 "Yeah?"
@@ Line 80: / Line 80: @@
 "What?"
-"Oh, never mind.  The point is, Mister Blume... this highly potent nuclear device is just sitting in the backyard of one [[Jezebel|Jezebel Cumshoes]]... with a small nudge, I could move it to the hands of the U.S. Government.... and... expedite the... end.... of [[The great META war|the Great META War]]. "
+"Oh, never mind.  The point is, Mister Blume... this highly potent nuclear device is just ''sitting'' in the backyard of one [[Jezebel|Jezebel Cumshoes]]... with a small nudge, I could move it to the hands of the U.S. Government.... and... expedite the... end.... of [[The great META war|the Great META War]]. "
 "Okay... and what do I get out of this?"
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 The G-Man frowned down at Hazzorius.
 [[Category:Characters]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32 at 21:34, 2 December 2022

2022-12-02T21:34:54Z

@@ Line 36: / Line 36: @@
 Bizarrely, Hazzorius found he had quite an eager (albeit, secretive) demographic; his first set of skeleton sold out quickly. And so the bones kept coming. Hazzorius began spiralling into an increasingly unstable state of mental illness and schizophrenia, becoming so disillusioned with reality that he came to believe that he was God.
-By 21
+By 21 BB, however, Hazzorius found he had pretty much spent all of the skeletons in the greater Indianapolis area. There were no more graves to dig up; no more morgues to raid. Hazzorius fell into a deep depression. He began meditating, praying and hoping to "the Eternal" (unclear what that is)  for 'more bones to sell'. Suddenly, Hazzorius found himself in a dark, empty room.
 [[Category:Characters]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32 at 21:20, 2 December 2022

2022-12-02T21:20:01Z

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 == Beginning of Business ==
-Born in 74 BB, Hazzorius never knew a world without [[The great META war|the Great META War]] raging across the eastern front of his state. Hazzorius had humble beginnings; he started his first job working in a candy shop in southern Indiana. Hazzorius was raised on the idea that Ohioans were soulless, bloodthirsty creatures- and far from human, at that. He was taught that they were as bad, or even worse than the [[Combine]].  As a result of this, Hazzorius invented a new candy bar- designed like the [[Ohio]] flag with human shit (chocolate) on top. He was promoted to store manager immediately due to this invention. H
+Born in 76 BB, Hazzorius entered this world on the same exact day, at the same exact time, at the same exact second as the [[Ohio Greenspill]] Quandry. Coincidence?
 [[Category:Characters]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32 at 20:53, 2 December 2022

2022-12-02T20:53:44Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:53, 3 December 2022
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	[[File:Blume.jpg\|thumb\|Blume. ]]		[[File:Blume.jpg\|thumb\|Blume. ]]
	Hazzorius Blume.		Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant.

			== Beginning of Business ==
			Born in 74 BB, Hazzorius never knew a world without [[The great META war\|the Great META War]] raging across the eastern front of his state. Hazzorius had humble beginnings; he started his first job working in a candy shop in southern Indiana. Hazzorius was raised on the idea that Ohioans were soulless, bloodthirsty creatures- and far from human, at that. He was taught that they were as bad, or even worse than the [[Combine]]. As a result of this, Hazzorius invented a new candy bar- designed like the [[Ohio]] flag with human shit (chocolate) on top. He was promoted to store manager immediately due to this invention. H


			At the age of 18, Hazzorius left home to attend Indianapolis State University.
	[[Category:Characters]]		[[Category:Characters]]

w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32: Created page with "Blume. Hazzorius Blume. Category:Characters"

2022-10-26T19:45:17Z

Created page with "thumb|Blume. Hazzorius Blume. Category:Characters"

New page

[[File:Blume.jpg|thumb|Blume. ]]
Hazzorius Blume.
[[Category:Characters]]