Ed Wool: Difference between revisions

Latest revision as of 16:53, 7 April 2026

Ed Wool was the Omniversal God of Heat and Fire, who roamed the hellish inferno of the surface of Venus. The polar opposite of Father Snow, Ed Wool was a fiend who regularly bent over active volcanoes and guzzled down spewing lava for breakfast.

Daily Routine

Ed Wool's Daily routine lasted longer than an entire Venusian year, as the planet rotated backwards, and very slowly. This was because Ed Wool had constructed a massive starmetal straw which led to the core of Venus. He then drank the entire core of Venus, leaving almost no magnetic material behind to keep the planet's magnetic field intact. Ed Wool was responsible for the destruction of the Venusian magnetic field and calendar (not that anyone was left to use it).

When Ed Wool woke up, he would immediately get out of his magma bed, jack off into a caldera of fire, and set off on his merry way, with no negative thoughts.

Ed Wool would sometimes jump around for fun. This led to massive, planet-destabilizing Earthquakes, and for many years the humans of Earth had simply assumed this to be a natural aspect of Venus' existence. The heretics were afraid to accept the truth of Ed Wool.

Slaughter of Talos

Talos, the hero-god of mankind, who had watched over America Aeterna for centuries, was sniped by Ed Wool from Venus and killed. Ed Wool then forced his way onto the council of the Nine Divines, becoming a bit of an oddball in this group.

Trolling

Ed Wool appeared before mortals and warned them of impending doom, even when there wasn't anything to worry about. He frequently appeared in the nightmares of children, screaming to them about the 'evils of capitalism', which would send the poor doomed children crying to their overworked and exploited parents (who were only present if they had a rare two hour break between their typical six or seven jobs, as was Waifurian Custom).

Ed Wool also ran several subreddits, including r/feet, r/toes, r/sexyfeet, and r/vore. He had a public twitter account which was suspended after just six hours, due to a phallic image he posted depicted the Mummy fucking the Omniverse (Grand Predictions).

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-[[File:Ed Wool.png|thumb|When Ed Wool gets angry, the Devil Shivers...]]
+[[File:Ed Woole.jpg|thumb|When Ed Wool gets angry, the devil shivers...]]
 Ed Wool was the Omniversal God of Heat and Fire, who roamed the hellish inferno of the surface of [[Venus]]. The polar opposite of [[Father Snow]], Ed Wool was a fiend who regularly bent over active volcanoes and guzzled down spewing lava for breakfast.
 == Daily Routine ==
-Ed Wool's Daily routine lasted longer than an entire Venusian year, as the planet was rotated backwards and very slowly. This was because Ed Wool had constructed a massive starmetal straw which led to the core of Venus. He then drank the entire core of Venus, leaving almost no magnetic material behind to keep the planet's magnetic field intact. Ed Wool was responsible for the destruction of the Venusian magnetic field and calendar (not that anyone was left to use it).
+Ed Wool's Daily routine lasted longer than an entire Venusian year, as the planet rotated backwards, and very slowly. This was because Ed Wool had constructed a massive starmetal straw which led to the core of Venus. He then drank the entire core of Venus, leaving almost no magnetic material behind to keep the planet's magnetic field intact. Ed Wool was responsible for the destruction of the Venusian magnetic field and calendar (not that anyone was left to use it).
 When Ed Wool woke up, he would immediately get out of his magma bed, jack off into a caldera of fire, and set off on his merry way, with no negative thoughts.