The 60000 lb Diaries with Dr. Now

A somewhat insensitive advertisement used by the program in 6 AB, depicting Dr. Now standing on a ring of disgusting food, and with one of the Dr.'s Patients (Michael Rubescone) depicted as a planet. While several patients did reach nearly 60,000 lbs (with the maximum weight approaching 57,652 lbs), none were ever massive enough to coalesce their own gravitational field nor exit low-Earth orbit, much less gain rings. However, Dr. Now was said to have personally requested the advertisement design, hoping it would discourage unhealthy weight gain and eating habits. it did not.

The 60,000 Pound Diaries with Dr. Now was a sequel series to the critically acclaimed, Emmy, Grammy, and Webby winner series 'My 6000-Life', which Now starred in. The sequel series was commissioned by Now to highlight the growing issue of extremely-super-morbid obesity in the North American Overlorddom. Despite over 80,000 successful surgeries over the 13+ year run of his previous program, Now had identified that new patients first entering the office were becoming heavier and heavier... and heavier.

Origins

An exerpt from Michael and Dr. Now's photoshoot for the final season of 'My 6000-lb Life', illustrating the unsavoury dynamic between the two.

Now's idea for the 60000-lb diaries sprung from an experience with a patient during the last season of 'My 6000-lb Life'. In 5 A.B, Now experienced a mental health crisis after witnessing his first 6,000 lb+ patient - a 6' (10'5" morbidity) humash named 'Michael Rubescone' - who required two construction cranes and a bulldozer in order to be placed onto the scale- weigh in at 7,002 lbs. At this weight, Michael's limbs were incapable of moving because of the swelling and lard pumping through his body. He had acquired lymphedema on every extremity except for his fingers, granting him dangerous rashes and growths across his body. "Do you know you can exist for 4 years without eating another food?" Dr. Now had asked Michael, astonishedly, "That is, if your heart was pumping, which it is not." Michael was informed that because of his advanced weight, he would not qualify for any surgery; Dr. Now placed him on a 0-calorie diet, informing him that just a few thousand more calories could cause Michael to burst like a balloon. He instructed Michael not to eat for 5 months, and to return to the hospital once he had done so for another weigh in.

Sea Gull Diet

Michael did not heed Now's warning. While being transported via tractor trailer 2x away from the Hospital, Michael's fingers grasped at a seagull which had landed on his great nipple. He excised tremendous energy to reach the seagull, and indeed did, shoving the entire bird into his mouth. This caused his wieght to be shifted all the way to the right, causing both tractor trailers to careen off of the road, roll upside down into a ditch, and killed both truck drivers instantly in fire. Michael, however, survived. However, the skin was burned from his arms and he earned serious, debilitating burns. He lay there in the ditch for several days as first responders pondered how to rescue him. Ultimately, they decided, there was no safe way to relocate Michael, without permamently damaging or blocking highway infrastructure, and thusly a temporary structure was constructed around Michael in order to protect him from the elements.

Dr. Now, inspired by the severity of Michael's injury, launched his new program; 'The 60,000-lb diaries with Dr. Now.' This program sought to identify the most morbidly obese individuals on Earth and help them to lose their weight. Dr. Now's first patient on this new program, of course, was Michael Rubescone.

Episode List

Below, an abridged episode list from across the series, with brief summaries of each episode. Unfortunately, the episodes themselves are lost.

Season 1 (5AB-6AB)

S1E1: Returning patient Michael Mattrick Rubescone, despite his immobility and location in a sandy ditch in the desert, seems to be gaining weight. Dr. Now investigates as Rubescone approaches 8000 lbs.

S1E2: Dr. Now visits an Indianapolis man named Greg, whose alien-like mannerisms don't match up with the extraordinary weight gain the 7,500 lb monolith has accumulated.

S1E3: Sheila Bereila is a 9070-lb human who lives in an apartment above a frozen cheeseburger factory. Despite cutting down to 85 cheeseburgers a day- Bereila tells Dr. Now she just can't figure out why she's still gaining weight. Now proposes a unique solution.

S1E4: Raymond the beagle has broached 4000 lbs, much to the confusion of his food-insecure parents. However, when the neighborhood cat goes looking for her kittens, Dr. Now accompanies her, only to discover an unsettling truth...

S1E5: Chadrick Bugs is addicted to soda. The only problem - soda is addicted to him.

S1E6: Dr. Now returns to Michael Rubescone's makeshift tent, only to discover his patient has gained another 500 lbs, and his weight has begun cracking the foundations of the highway around him.

Following Season 1's six-episode run, a second season was ordered, bumping the episode count up to 10. Dr. Now was instructed to focus more on Rubescone, and was encouraged to avoid taking on clients with weights below 6000 lbs.

Season 2 (6AB-7AB)

Best of Michael Rubescone Compilation DVD

S2E1: Elizabeth Barnes is a 10,000 lb former librarian and current permanent couch potato. In fact, her husband has started farming root vegetables in the crook of her shoulder. Dr. Now is here to break down the barn doors, and get to the bottom of Elizabeth's food addiction.

S2E2: Dr. Now returns to Rubescone's pit; which authorities have now dubbed, 'the Rubescone Crater'. The highway has been rerouted around Rubescone, and federal authorities are swarming the scene. Dr. Now, however, won't take no for an answer.

During the filming of S2E2, Dr. Now was arrested for trespassing on 'Rubescone's Crater' by the FBI and sent to Federal prison for 2 weeks. He was unable to make contact with Rubescone; however, the camera crew saw that the patient was expanding exponentially.

S2E3: While in county jail, Dr. Now meets failed athlete and current food-binger Thick-O McSickPea, whose 6,050 lb weight is a cause for concern for his family. Dr. Now gives him some tips, and in return, McSickPea offers to do him a favor.

S2E4: Dr. Now advises the Federal Enforcement Authority officers that they have gained significant weight; and encourages them to take permanent 0-calorie diets.

S2E5: Dr. Now, back in Houston, visits an elderly woman who has outgrown her house, and at 20,000lbs, now lives in the forest among the toads.

S2E6: The manager of a local fast food restaurant is so massive that he can no longer fit in his kitchen. Dr. Now helps him lose weight, and works to straighten out the diets of the maligned kitchen staff, as well.

S2E7: Dr. Now's ex-wife, Delores McGreenmond, visits him at the hospital, hoping to reconcile their marriage. Meanwhile, the camera crew attempts to gain footage of Michael Rubescone; one crew member is shot by police.

S2E8: Dr. Now confronts Houston police about the shooting of his crew member. He hires a extremely-super-morbidly obese lawyer, Sue-Haw McFindley, and attempts to build a working relationship with her and bring her weight down.

S2E9: Sue-Haw McFindley brings Dr. Now's crew shooting case to court; however, she cannot fit into the courtroom, and is declared in contempt of court. Dr. Now advises the judge take on a 0-calorie diet, as well as the bailiff and several nearby police officers.

Screengrab from S2E10 of the series.

S2E10: Dr. Now hijacks a police car and uses it to smash through police barricades and enter the Rubescone Crater; finally able to speak to Rubescone, Now discovers that even with a 0-calorie diet, Michael's weight gain is not slowing down.

Following Season 2's completion, network executives approached Dr. Now with several questions; namely, why there was no police evidence or news reporting about any of the chaos that ensued in the second season, or whether Dr. Now had actually succeeded in helping anyone's weight drop below 1,000 lbs in the entire year. The show was reclassified into 'Action-Adventure' and 'Fantasy' by the Network for the renewal of its 3rd season.

Season 3 (7AB-8AB)

S3E1: Dr. Now embarks across the world to Switzerland, where he meets Svetlana Wimbeldon, a 25,000lb oil heiress and airplanehangar-bound being, whose mass was such that she could not leave the airplane hanger under any circumstances.

S3E2: Now continues his work with Svetlana, believing the cure to her condition may come with exercise. But the airliner has different ideas.

S3E3: Svetlana is packed into a passenger plane and flown back to Houston, where Dr. Now examines her condition. Meanwhile, the camera crew checks in on the Rubescone Crater, which is now patrolled by government drones daily and nightly.

S3E4: Saddened by Svetlana's sudden passing, Dr. Now finds a newfound urgency to uncover the reason for accelerating massiveness in extremely-super-obese people around the world. He starts in Amish country, where a lard-fed child, only 7, is already weighing in at 1,000 lbs.

S3E5: The Lard-fed child passes away, suddenly, leaving Dr. Now without a lead. When the crew's vehicle is vandalized by Amish thugs, they are forced to walk through the Pennsylvania mountains all alone. Dr. Now gets an idea.

S3E6: The crew begins preperations for the Pennsylvania Roll-Off.

Dr. Now Grieving the loss of Svetlana in S3E7.

S3E7: Dr. Now attends Svetlana's funeral in Czechia; there, he uncovers a bone-shattering secret.

S3E8: Armed with the knowledge of this newfound secret, Now plots to return once more to the Rubescone Crater, hoping once and for all to ameliorate Michael's condition. However, he is arrested upon returning to the U.S. on charges of 'Domestic Terrorism'.

At this point in production, TLC (The Lettuce Channel), who was carrying the program, intended to pull the plug and cancel the series mid-season. However, the crew was able to convince them that Now's arrest was all some elaborate plot for the new 'Action-Adventure' tag on the show; TLC allowed the production of the final 2 episodes, but demanded Now contact them as soon as possible.

S3E9: Unable to locate or contact Dr. Now, the crew hatches an elaborate scheme to break him out of prison. Things don't go to plan.

S3E10: Microphone Pete is killed in the line of duty. Dr. Now faces treason charges, and is brought before the Overlord himself.

Dr. Now's treason charges were dropped after a plea deal was reached with the Memphis Tennessee Overlordwide Attorney. As per the demands of the North American Overlorddom, Dr. Now would no longer be paid by the program, and forbidden from speaking a word of what he had witnessed that led to his 'discovery' in Czechia. However, as part of the agreement, the government agreed to provide TLC and Now's crew with access to the Rubescone Crater, and Indeed, to Michael Rubescone himself.

Although he would not be paid, Dr. Now continued leading the program, preferring to volunteer rather than surrender his career to the authorities. After a hiatus, the 4th season began filming in 10 AB.

Season 4 (10AB-11AB)

S4E1: Dr. Now meets with Michael Rubescone, whose weight now sits around 40,000 lbs. The highway has become his only source of food. Dr. Now confides in Rubescone; a deal is made.

S4E2: Dr. Now and team begin delivering massive quantities of food to the Rubescone Crater, much to the chagrin of the Federal Enforcement Authority officers. Michael expands.

S4E3: Michael Rubescone breaches 50,000 lbs. Dr. Now takes on an apprentice.

S4E4: Nurse Marjorie clashes with Dr. Now's crew. Michael's condition worsens.

S4E5: Michael's heart collapses; the team rushes to excavate and resucitate him. They uncover a secret that will change weight loss forever.

S4E6: Armed with newfound knowledge about Singularity Disease, Now sets to work improvising a cure. Sheriff Maxwell plots to kill.

S4E7: Michael's weight goes down. Marjorie faces a crisis.

S4E8: Nurse Marjorie reveals herself. The team is fractured. Sheriff Maxwell declares his intent to arrest Rubescone.

S4E9: Sheriff Maxwell attempts to blow up the shelter. Michael's condition becomes unpredictable. Dr. Now hunts for offices outside of Waifuria.

S4E10: A giant bubble descends from the sky and traps Now, the crew, and the police inside of it. They are unable to make contact with the outside world.

While season 4 was originally envisioned as a 10-episode run, after the crew was trapped inside of the bubble, they found it appropriate to continue filming.

S4E11: Dr. Now and the police investigate the bubble.

S4E12: The bubble is investigated further.

S4E13: Michael assists in discussing the bubble.

S4E14: The bubble is the subject of further scrutiny.

The show's ratings dipped catastrophically at this point, as this string of episodes consisted entirely of Dr. Now and the police walking around and pressing against, feeling, punching, or yelling at the opaque white bubble around them.

S4E15: Snow falls inside of the bubble. It's becoming very cold. Sheriff Maxwell makes a catastrophic mistake.

In promotional artwork staged ahead of Season 4's commercial release, Dr. Now, Michael Rubescone, two crew members, and a stand-in for Sheriff Maxwell (who was at the time still missing) reenact the interior of the death bubble in which they became trapped.

S4E16: 1 by 1, officers dissapear. The crew remains unharmed. Tensions flare inside the bubble. Michael's skin begins to freeze. Now accuses Maxwell of disrespecting the scale.

S4E17: Michael Rubescone experiences tremendous weight loss. The dissapearances continue. Noise is heard outside the bubble. Marjorie's health deteriorates.

S4E18: Marjorie and Sheriff Maxwell both go missing. The bubble grows dim. Now and the crew huddle together for warmth.

S4E19: Rubescone begins retching violently. His fat excises off of him in lumps that freeze on the ground. The crew is forced to eat it.

S4E20: Dr. Now develops a makeshift scale. Four people and Michael remain alive.

S4E21: Michael's true nature is finally revealed. Dr. Now is forced to reckon with his patient's destructive nature.

S4E22: Having seperated Rubescone from the black hole inside of him, Dr. Now considers their escape. Marjorie's body is discovered.

S4E23: The black hole grows more voracious. Winds kick up inside the dome. The walls begin to shake.

S4E24: With the bubble destroyed, Dr. Now, Michael, and the crew are rescued by firefighters and brought back to the hospital for testing. The black hole is contained.

Following the end of this especially long (and at times, horrendously reviewed) season, TLC again attempted to cancel the program, citing the trauma inflicted on viewers by the uncensored depictions of starvation, hypothermia, death, and cannibalism. Dr. Now responded to them via a public statement, in which he commended the strength of his surviving crew, demanded an investigation into the origins and purpose of the bubble, and claimed that TLC was using 'wishful thinking' in failing to appreciate the importance of the scale. He also demanded a fifth season, promising a run of 10 episodes. TLC agreed, but negotiated down to 9.

"The Bubble", Dr. Now was quoted as saying, "Was a distraction, from the fact, we discover, that the scale does not lie. And more importantly, we realize, that the cause of this giga-extremely-super-morbid-obesity, is in fact the black hole, forming inside of the body, because of the concentrated mass. And so we must cure, this giga-extremely-super-morbid-obesity, in order to preserve the stability, of our world, for generations to come."

Season 5 (11AB-12AB)

S5E1: Dr. Now begins his quest to locate every giga-extremely-super-morbid-obese person on Earth, and use his special patented technique to remove the black hole from their body. The hospital prepares for large visitors.

S5E2: A Florida man, Big Rambo, is delivered via helicopter 8x to the hospital. His weight has approached 50,000 lbs; fearing a repeat of the Bubble, Now moves him to the basement to undergo testing.

S5E3: Lonqa Tell from Louisiana is nearly 45,000 lbs, and miraculously, they can still walk. Now measures the vibrations of their footprints in order to determine the resonance of the morbidity-black holes.

S5E4: Fully recovered, Michael moves to California to start a new life. (This would come to be the highest rated episode on the show, with viewers praising Michael's weight loss journey and enjoying the personal touch of this episode). Dr. Now locks down the black hole frequency.

S5E5: NASA scientists arrive, and insist on joining Now's operation - whether he likes it or not. Tensions grow in the hospital.

S5E6: Big Rambo's black hole is excised. Dr. Now begins to study it.

S5E7: NASA brings Dr. Now to the outskirts of nearby Albuquerque, where black holes run rampant. Dr. Now's patience is tested. Longa Tell loses the ability to walk.

Dr. Now seen in a clip from S5E8, in a special, hyperionized suit, designed to withstand the gravitational pull of microsingularities. Behind him is Big Rambo's black hole.

S5E8: With newfound knowledge, Now & NASA study Rambo's black hole. Big Rambo's weight drops. Longa Tell grows jealous. Calls flood the hospital, but space is short.

S5E9: Reality begins to rupture in the Hospital basement. Longa Tell's weight continues to climb. Dr. Now discovers a health diagnosis of his own.

The series finished Season 5 on a cliffhanger, with fans outraged at being left guessing on what would happen to Longa Tell and Dr. Now, who both had just discovered undisclosed medical issues - much less the reality rupture underneath Houston hospital.

"The thing is, dear fans," announced Dr. Now in an online message to the community, "We were originally having, 10 episodes, as usual; however, TLC, the business there, cut our season to 9, so now you must know nothing."

The fans unleashed their rage at the Lettuce Company, with hate mail flooding the production studio's doors and Demands for a full, 24-episode season, like season 4, flooding the offices of executives. They attempted to negotiate down to 10, but Dr. Now refused, citing the importance of his work; after negotiations, Season 6 was ultimately set to run as a 20-episode season.

Season 6 (12AB-13AB)

S6E1: With NASA's help, Dr. Now Contacts Spatial Anomaly 21-AAXB, seeking to better understand the Singularity anatomy. Longa grows seriously ill.

S6E2: The Black Holes begin moving on their own. The basement stairwell collapses. Longa Tell is placed on a ventilator.

S6E3: The Waifurian Bureau of Investigations begins patrolling the hospital, insisting on interviewing Dr. Now and other crew members about the bubble. Dr. Now grows frustrated as his time is split between patients, black hole research, "bubble talk", and scale review.

S6E4: Dr. Now snaps at the WBI, barring them from entering the hospital. Longa requires emergency surgery.

S6E5: Longa's illness rocks the hospital. The WBI bug hospital phones and computers. NASA warns hospital staff that they will soon need to evacuate the hospital as reality continues to break down.

S6E6: Dr. Now is interrogated by the WBI about the Bubble and Sherriff Maxwell. Longa, had their black hole erupt out of them, and it is more massive than scales anticipated. This information is kept from Dr. Now, with hospital staff fearing a breakdown if he learned the scale had been incorrect. The hospital tilts.

S6E7: NASA & hospital staff struggle to rescue Longa. More patients are calling from all over the world, but there's no room in the hospital to house them.

S6E8: Michael recieves a mysterious voicemail, bringing him back to Houston. Dr. Now's radiation sickness progresses. Longa passes away.

S6E9: The hospital is temporarily shut down by the Emperor. NASA and WBI fund a 6-month paid vacation for hospital staff, and mass layoffs ensue.

S6E10: Dr. Now's radiation sickness becomes serious; he is transported to Walter Reed Medical center. The Emperor orders preperations of a funeral for Dr. Now preemptively, raising eyebrows among Dr. Now, Michael and the crew. Now fears for his life.

S6E11: Michael befriends a WBI investigator, and takes him out for a drink. The investigator's knowledge about the bubble raises Michael's suspicions.

S6E12: Across Earth, giga-extremely-super-morbidly-obese people begin dissapearing in the dead of night. The Waifurian Empire tightens security around the Houston Hospital.

S6E13: Dr. Now begins the long process of recovery. Sheriff Maxwell emerges from hiding and reveals the truth.

S6E14: The WBI publicly claims ownership for the original bubble, and declare weights above 40,000 lbs to be 'so excessive, it is punishable by death'. More bubbles appear across Waifuria.

S6E15: Big Rambo is shot dead, despite having returned to a normal weight. The Sun flickers. Dr. Now attempts to reason with the WBI.

S6E16: Dr. Now is enlisted to serve under supervision of NASA and the WBI, going to bubbles containing giga-extremely-super-morbidly-obese people and their black holes, and "neutralizing" them. Dr. Now refuses.

S6E17: Dr. Now defiantly returns to the Houston Hospital, against the orders of the government, to find it totally abandoned - including from black holes. Dr. Now makes a public announcement that the hospital will be a safe place for any person seeking to lose weight to come receive a consulation - and, significantly, protection.

S6E18: Dozens of giga-extremely-super-morbidly-obese people gather inside of the hospital. Dr. Now is in a race against time to complete their surgeries, as the WBI closes in.

S6E19: The WBI attempts to force their way in, threatening lethal force. The crew uses the black holes to their advantage. Dr. Now's radiation sickness returns. Half of all giga-extremely-super-morbidly-obese people are returned to morbidly or super morbidly obese status.

Dr. Now and several returning Nurses, as well as recovered patients, pose for a photo as WBI gunfire echoes outside. This photo was used to promote season 6. The medical equipment they're holding, not a minute later, would be used to attack the agents and defend those undergoing procedures in the hospital.

S6E20: WBI begins breaching sections of the hospital. Now's crew, as well as the recovered giga-extremely-super-morbidly obese, band together to protect themselves from the government. Dr. Now begins hallucinating. The fate of the hospital and its patients remains uncertain.

Despite the 20 episode season, the show again ended on a cliffhanger, further enraging fans. The show's ratings had also begun to dip, as anti-Waifurian sentiments were not generally approved of. The show was cancelled once and for all in 13 AB after 6 seasons.

At Dr. Now's direction, the camera crew continued filming and releasing the episodes online anyway. An abridged seventh season began filming a few seconds after filming for season 6 ended.

Season 7 (13 AB)

S7E1: Dr. Now, Michael Rubescone, a few nurses, and the victims of Waifurian (then-Overlorddish) Singularity-seed poison (which had caused all of them to develop black holes in their stomachs) launch a violent uprising against the WBI in Houston Hospital. Alliances are tested. Blood is spilled.

S7E2: Spatial Anomaly 21-AAXB instructs all available microsingularities to ravage the WBI in Houston, ripping and warping through them like bullets. Dr. Now gains an upper hand.

S7E3: Sheriff Maxwell appears, appearing to rat Now and his crew out to the WBI. The WBI prepare to enter Now's weight loss suite. Maxwell seals his fate.

S7E4: The hospital staff leap quickly out of the window, landing softly onto the stomach of Longa Tell's corpse. Her sacrifice was not in vain. The crew must hide from the authorities, or face charges of treason and almost certain death. Now discovers a WBI badge in Longa's pocket - then learning she had been a spy.

S7E5: The black holes destroy Houston hospital and all of the WBI agents inside of it. A message is delivered to the Waifurian Empire from the office of TON-618, the supreme Black Hole, demanding a cessation to hostilities against the weight loss doctor and his allies, and the end to the continued abuse and exploitation of microsingularities by the Waifurian government. Under threat of solar system annihilation, The Mummy meekly agrees.

Dr. Now and a significantly-slimmed down Michael Rubescone, enjoying a tender moment in S7E6.

S7E6: Michael and Dr. Now enjoy a day on the beach in California. Dr. Now opens a new solo practice in Houston, called Dr. Now's Weight Loss NOW!

The series concluded permanently after this. Fans largely found the finale adequate, but lingering questions remained. Why would the government have seeded small black holes inside of people? Where did they learn to do that? How did they choose their victims? And why, all of a sudden, in 13 AB, did they want them all dead?

These questions would not be answered for over a hundred thousand years, until after the Waifurian Empire collapsed, and the bindings of Dr. Now's plea deal were no longer valid. He would reveal everything in the first episode of his third and final series, '600,000 Leagues Fatter Than Me', which premiered on Milkomeda Spacewave on October 4, 101,005 AB - a full 101,000 years after the premier of this show.