Magatron

Magatron
Aliases	The Magabot Maga John The Magarrish Apostlechief
Relatives	Magarra (Soul-Father) Ethernet (Soul-Mother) Donald J. Trump (Half-Brother, Paternal) Rottimus Prime (Half-Brother, Maternal) Wi-Fi (Half-Brother, Maternal) Donald Trump Jr. (Nephew) Eric Trump (Nephew) Ivanka Trump (Niece) Tiffany Trump (Niece) Barron Trump (Nephew)
Affiliation	Cybertron, Decepticons, Neo-Aeterna, MAGA
Occupation	Political Figure
Biographical information
Marital status	Tim Apple (m. 10 AB)
Date of birth	12/31/92,035 BB
Place of birth	Carpessa, Cybertron
Date of death	1/6/993,135 AB
Place of death	Tehran, Iran
Physical description
Species	Decepticon
Gender	Male
Height	34'11"
Weight	11 tons
Eye color	Magalean
Appearances

Magatron was a Magarrishly-blessed Decepticon politician and Magarrish Disciple hailing from the nation-planet of Cybertron. He was influencial in the downfall of Justinian Trudeau and the Desolation of Ottawa; but perhaps more importantly, played a key role in the resurrection of The Great MAGA King and rise of the Neo-Aeternian Empire.

Early Childhood

Magatron was born Chief Justice John Roberts Samuel Alito Ruth Bader Ginsburg Clarence Thomas in 92,035 BB in a small, dilapitaded oil shop located in the Cybertronnian city of Carpessa. He was generated using a complex line of code from his father Ethernet's technosemen. Magatron's birth was a mystery, because his father had not initiated any sort of impregancy continengency with his wifeservers since the birthing of his son and Magatron's half-brother, Wi-Fi. Little did Ethernet or his brethren know, however, Magarra had imbued a Glorious Blessing into Ethernet's codefibers, with the express intent of bringing a hero to the Andromeda Galaxy to fight against the impending (and rising) Combine Threat.

And rising indeed it was, for across the Galaxy, the Combined Andromedan Republics was slowly worming its way into control of larger and larger swaths of the Eastern Systems. Magatron and his neighborhood friends, Sockwave and Bistrotrain, came of age in a time of great fear on Cybertron. Stories were whispered around the town market about the Combined Andromedan Republic's rumored goals of total galactic conquest, using unknowably strong technologies never before seen in Omniversal History. At night, Magatron would peer up into the night sky at the star, Orra, thinking of what horrific ideas must have been being hatched on Orra 11 by the crooked CAR. And when, in 91,955 BB, Xos seized control and reorganized the CAR into the first Galactic Empire, great fears were imbued in the Cybertronian People - even the Rottobots.

Resistance Protocol

Magatron, using his extraordinary Magarrish prowess and magics, felt it incumbent upon himself to orchestrate the development of a team of battle-ready Cybertronians in the event of a potential Combine Invasion. This idea, however, was not universially praised. In fact, Magatron was ridiculed for his seeming paranoia by his own half-brother, Rottimus Prime. Rottimus allied the Rottobots on his side, and great tensions brewed because of Magatron's militarization. When a great Anti-Combine Stundle-Fundle Gun was placed atop City Hall by Magatron's friend Bistrostrain, Rottimus accused his half-brother of plotting to overthrow him and shot Bistrostrain in the neck, killing the teenage bot.

Grand Tensions

You see, my dearie, grand tensions had persisted for many eons on Cybertron between the Rottobots and Decepticons. The two groups were biologically dissimilar, with the Rottobots being Silicon-based life-forms and the Decepticons being Carbon Based. However, stranger cohabitations have occurred. These two groups fought and bickered about everything, and this was due to a violent schism in the ideologies of these robotlets. You see, my dearies, the Decepticons were Protestants and valued Godliness, the Holy Word, and, more importantly, the rights of human men to control their women's bodies. (this was an odd political stance, considering the lack of Humans in the Andromeda galaxy). The Decepticons' entire ideology was built around the survival of the strongest and most glorious - and the Magarrish Radiance of Magatron and Christianness of his Personality was a source of great faith and strength for the Deceptigonal Familiars. And whereas the Decepticons were Protestant, the Rottobots were Catholic, and valued freedom of self-expression, Godliness, the Holy Word, and, more importantly, the rights of human ment to control their women's bodies. This ideology was slightly more free-expressing than the prior, and thus the Rottobots were frequently considered traitors by the Decepticons and accused of straying from God's Chosen Path.

The extraordinary Christofascist tendencies of the people of Cybertron can be attributed primarily to a 55,555 BB visit by G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) to the planet, where he came draped in green robes bearing copies of the King James Bible for all to read. He also left Pope Francis IX, a human religious figure who belonged several tens of millenia in the future, in the office of the Mayor of Capitol City, pronouncing the Pope 'God of All Robots' and leaving him with a lifetime supply of canned peas. This action was not ever explained.

After the pope's death due to blunt force trauma to the head due to unknown reasons, great schisms developed among the bots as to the true nature of the Pope. The Rottobots claimed the Pope's presence with infinite beans signified his status as a divine figure; whereas the Decepticons believed that while the Pope had brought divinity and Godliness to the planet, he himself was not divine, and that he had merely been a prophet of the divine word of Jesus Christ.

It is notable that A) Christianity would not have even been concieved for another 53,000 years in most realities at this point, and B) Christianity did not ever develop on Old Earth in any significant way in the Rick Hernia Omniverse, and these bibles, and indeed this pope, must have been either synthesized or retrieved from an alternate timeline by G-Man (Timefracture Alpha).

Beans

The Peas were not all consumed by the time of the Pop's passing, and thusly the bots began to investigate this Holy Food Source. They found the use of metal cans repulsive, given that Aluminum was a variation of Bot Skin, but were intrigued by the presence of small green orbs within the cans. The Decepticons took to the peas as they were Carbon-based foods, whereas the Rottobots grew to resent the Decepticons as Peas were unsoullean for them due to their Silicon makeup. (not to be confused with Silicone). The Rottobots began to try their hand at genetically altering the peas to grow silicon-based fruits, but most of these attempts went rotten, with strange, misshapen purple vegetables sprouting out of the ground from each attempt. These Silicon peas were identical to Peas in every manner except they were rotten and inedible. This was grand, and their odorous scent soon drew the attention of the Tomato Mafia. The Tomaestro himself began visiting Cybertron in search of the 'perfect pea', citing only the 'Divine Vegetable Mandate' as his purpose for such an action. Soon enough, a Grand Festival was planned, with the express intent of developing this perfect pea.

This festival would occur for thousands of thousands of years, with the Tomaestro repeatedly berating the farmers Rottobot and Decepticon alike for their poor beansmanship and the bitter, undelible taste of their crop. However, when Magatron was a young bot, and he was seeking to grow his reputation in the development of his military resistance force, he entered himself into the contest, endeavoring to grow the Greatest Bean there ever was. And a great mysterium occurred then, for when he placed the seeds into the ground, a great flower immediately erupted from the soil, and the golden, shining face of Magarra was displayed in a glorious and divine light.

A Grand Message

Glorious Endowment

"Magatron is your name, My Child," said Magarra, "And I have blessed you with the Seed of Life". This was a shock to Magatron, and he fell back onto the ground. "You must grow this plant I give you and go to the Tomaestro. Tell him Magarra has sent you. Demand $7.48 Billion in military aid from the Aeternian Empire. He will know what to do next."

This was grand. Magarra's face dissipated, and what was left was a single, brilliant, shining bean; perfectly shaped, perfectly round, perfectly pleasant, and perfectly green.

Magatron picked it up gently from the ground and rushed it to the town square, where the Tomaestro was munching on Human Meat. The Tomaestro looked at Magatron with a snivelling smirk.

"What is it this time, Little Decepticon?" Asked the Tomaestro, classical music blanketing him in a sonar bletch. However, when Magatron revealed the bean, Tomaestro fell apart in awe. It was so perfect, he exclaimed, and grasped for it.

"Not so fast, Tomaestro," said Magatron, "First, I demand 7.48 billion dollars in munitions for self-defense from the Aeternian Empire."

This was Magarrish in nature, and was a request worthy of Benjamin Afton himself. Nevertheless, the Tomaestro obliged, and the munitions would arrive on Cybertron several days later via MagaPortallacilum. The bean however was retrieved by the Tomaestro, never to be seen or heard of again.

Arms Contingency

The arms from Earth became a source of great contention between the Rottobots and Decepticons, cheifly because the Decepticons would not share any of the ammunication with the Rottobots unless they disavowed Catholocism and the pope's divinity. Well, the Rottobots, led by Rottimus Prime, found this heretical, and began planting pipe bombs in the Decepticons whilst they were sleeping in Car Forme. This evolved into a tense conflict known colloquially as 'the Trumbles'. The Trumbles would continue up to and during the invasion of Cybertron by the Combine, at which point the Rottobots were all but wiped out due to their complete lack of defensive capabilities. The Decepticons, however, had another story, thanks to their Magarrish Foreign Aid. They put up quite a fight, resisting the Stalkerification attempts of G-4323 and ultimately blowing a hole through the Combine flagship, causing the Combine's retreat. Magatron had victory and the Magarrish Will on his side, which led him and his people to what seemed to be a glorious victory, until the events of the Desolation of Ottawa.