Restaurant at the end of the Omniverse

A view from one of the many balconies which dotted the exterior of the Restaurant at the End of the Omniverse.

A table in the T Section.

The Restaurant at the end of the Omniverse was a massive diner secured to the Omniversal wall. It was founded by the celestial deity Leosis. It was a common tourist attraction, and was renowned around the Omniverse for its award winning steaks and burgers.

Omniversal Circumference

The restaurant was the largest structure in Omniversal history, wrapping around the entirety of the Omniversal Wall laterally. It was often referred to as the Omniversal Equator.

Clean Cock Policy

Because of unfortunate incidents that were kept private, visitors were required to undergo a rigorous penis inspection before entering the restaurant. Leosis emphasized that this was simply a necessity in the modern restaurant scene, and encouraged others to do the same. They did not.

Section B

The building was divided into 26 sections, each several hundred light years long. Section B was totally and completely off limits (apart from windowless shuttles through the area). This was speculated to have been due to a large-scale massacre and subsequent coverup that many believed had occurred by Leosis’ hand, although Leosis fervently denied these allegations.

Nirn Pinball Near-Factorium

In 297 AB, The rogue planet Nirn almost collided with the Restaurant, however it was quelled when Leosis entered his Celestial form and flicked it away like a child’s plaything. For the rest of Omniversal History, Nirn shot back and forth across the Omniverse, occasionally getting too close to the Restaurant. This was the largest Omniversal Pinball game, by some expert’s calculations.

Alduin developed severe motion sickness due to this.

Combine Ban

Combine troops and Advisors were highly unwelcome at the Restaurant, and were frequently shot on sight. Leosis banned Combine forces after a Combine Gunship urinated on several hundred patrons, vaporizing them.

Outervoid Tours

with the permissions of his father, Leosis led highly exclusive Outervoid tours for select patrons. Patrons often returned from these tours completely brainrotten, with glazed eyes and white faces. They would recover in 7-10 business days.

Relax. Stay a while.

Huddigar Comptroller Hate Assocation

the staff of The Restaurant had a deep disdain for the Huddigar Comptroller, creating and burning a new effigy every time a new Huddigar Comptroller was elected (every two weeks). This was thought to be due to the fact that Huddigar Kroasis had a staunch pro-dirty cock stance.

Waifuria Prime

Waifuria Prime often docked at the Restaurant, while on long, intergalactic Star Tours. G-Man (Timefracture Alpha), the governor of Waifuria Prime, fostered a healthy business partnership with Leosis.

Plutonian Zombie Ban

While damned souls were welcome to visit the Restaurant at the End of The Omniverse, Plutonian Zombies were unwelcome and were often immediately sent to Section B (unknown reasons).

Mummyrot Gift Shop

Leosis ran a profitable Mummyrot Gift shop, auctioning off memorabilia from ancient Bidenese civilizations (Byzantium and the Waifurian Empire). The highest-value item ever sold here was a clump of Joe Biden’s leg hair, which turned blonde in the sun.

Gigamagnet Collision Factorium

The Gigamagnet Collision Factorium occurred when the American Gigamagnet, traveling at supercosmic speeds, collided with Section K of the Restaurant. This was quickly dealt with, but destabilized this section, leaving it airless for several years.

Saturn Grand Collision Factorium

after the Destruction of Earth 2, and the annihilation of Earth’s Solar system at the hands of the Downward Spiral, Saturn was sent hurtling out into the cosmos. Saturn eventually collided with Section Y of the Restaurant, permanently shutting this section down and creating an enduring air-leak problem for the entire complex.

Final Moment Factorium

The Restaurant at the end of the Omniverse was the final structure remaining during the Final Moment. Much of the complex slipped into the Outervoid when the Omniverse ended, leaving quite a nasty piece of work for the Employers to clean up.