Saul Badman

Saul Badman. Better Brawl Saul.

Saul Badman was a cryptoid of horrendous origin who appeared suddenly and violently on Nex Kroasis late in the lifespan of the Omniverse. It inhabited the Plutonian Soullean corpse of long-dead attorney and love interest to G-Man, Saul Goodman.

Appearance Theorem

Saul Badman's appearance was somewhat violent. An explosion occurred at 66:73 XM local time in the city of Xannis'sia a DD-3 HYPNUS, killing hundreds of civilians instantly. A cloud of noxious yellow fog consumed the city, and for the next several days, nobody could see outside of their windows. When the fog cleared, Saul Badman was towering over the city, standing at roughly 400 feet tall. Saul Badman began screaming violently and keeled over, gagging until it produced a small crystalline egg from its mouth. Saul Badman's massive body then disintegrated (which seemed to cause it great anguish), and the egg was left in the Xannis'sian town square.

Egg Mysteriums

The Kroasian authorities quickly swept in to collect the crystalline egg, which was roughly the size of a human skull. The DD-3 VOIDBALM Precinct's Sherriff, who went by the designation '0X_6Hartag_Sherriff9_XO', attempted to pick up the egg, but, despite his grand fervor and ability, found himself unable to do so.

A grand Kroasian forklift was brought to the egg site, which had been engineered with specialized ultra-pure Dutt Kroasian Bismuth (not harvested by children). This forklift lifted the egg approximately two centimeters off the ground before buckling under the egg's intense weight and exploding into three billion, four hundred million, sixty two thousand, eight hundred and ninety one pieces. Eventually, the egg was simply caged by 0X_6Hartag_Sherriff9_XO, who didn't want to mess with the stubborn thing anymore. This proved to be a grandiose blunder on his part, as the Garraxium cage which was fitted around the egg began to act as an extrasolar incubator.

The Egg

Egg Hatcherium Theorem

The egg began to shake roughly eighty-one Nex Kroasian days later (two earth hours). This led to massive earthquakes all across Nex Kroasis. Kroasian scientists quickly realized, too late, that the egg was twice as massive as their planet. The immense gravitational pull had not been physically noticed by the Kroasians, who were used to the violently high windspeeds and massive surface pressure of their neurocity.

The egg, after several moments, cracked open, and an explosive yellow cloud ensued. This was horrendously grand. Several minutes later, the shadow of Saul Badman towered over the city once again. Saul Badman began screaming violently and keeled over, gagging until it produced a small crystalline egg from its mouth. Saul Badman's massive body then disintegrated (which seemed to cause it great anguish), and the egg was left in the Xannis'sian town square.

Egg Mysteriums

The Kroasian authorities quickly swept in to collect the crystalline egg, which was roughly the size of a human skull. The DD-3 VOIDBALM Precinct's Sherriff, who went by the designation '0X_6Hartag_Sherriff9_XO', attempted to pick up the egg, but, despite his grand fervor and ability, he once again found himself unable to do so.

A grand Kroasian forklift was brought to the egg site, which had been engineered with specialized ultra-pure Dutt Kroasian Bismuth (not harvested by children). This forklift lifted the egg approximately one centimeter off the ground before buckling under the egg's intense weight and exploding into three billion, four hundred and one million, sixty three thousand, eight hundred and blorety four pieces. Eventually, the egg was simply caged by 0X_6Hartag_Sherriff9_XO, who didn't want to mess with the stubborn thing anymore. This proved to be a grandiose blunder on his part, as the Garraxium cage which was fitted around the egg began to act as an extrasolar incubator.

Egg Hatcherium Theorem

The egg began to shake roughly eighty-one Nex Kroasian days later (two earth hours). This led to massive earthquakes all across Nex Kroasis. Kroasian scientists quickly realized, too late, that the egg was thrice as massive as their planet. The immense gravitational pull had not been physically noticed by the Kroasians, who were used to the violently high windspeeds and massive surface pressure of their neurocity.

The egg, after several moments, cracked open, and an explosive yellow cloud ensued. This was horrendously grand. Several minutes later, the shadow of Saul Badman towered over the city once again. Saul Badman began screaming violently and keeled over, gagging until it produced a small crystalline egg from its mouth. Saul Badman's massive body then disintegrated (which seemed to cause it great anguish), and the egg was left in the Xannis'sian town square.

Time Loop Prevention Force

All matter on Nex Kroasis was suddenly frozen in place. A collection of green-cloaked figures descended on the city, pouring out of glimmering golden UFO's. Saul Badman's egg was obliterated with an outrinium bullet. The green clad individuals then boarded their ships and hit the city with a massive Reverso-laser, reverting time to roughly seven minutes before the first Saul Badman appearance. This time loop factorium was caught and nipped in the bud.

Epilogue

However, as the Time Loop Prevention Force would soon find out, this was the first of many Time Loops to begin appearing across the Omniverse in 800,500,000 AB. The fabric of reality was beginning to fizzle. A mysterious source was draining energy from protons and neutrons in atoms across the Ominverse. Stars were burning slower. Everything was moving with a little less energy. The night sky grew dimmer, and the clock was ticking... time was running out.