Charlie Balls

Charles "Chuck" Balls at age eighty.

Charlie Balls was an Australian man residing in the Lismore, New South Wales area. He lived inside of the local Bunnings General Store, where his entire diet was comprised of woodchips and Bunnings Hot Dogs.

Charlie Balls was born and raised by his mother, May, and grandfather, Bluck. The three lived in the walls of the store, coming out at night to feast on the garbage left out by cleaners. Charlie Balls' diet was one of the most sustainable of all time, with him naturally living to the ripe old age of one hundred and thirty.

Charles "Chuck" Balls was infected with hideous disease which rendered him constantly defecating, which ultimately led to him being apprehended by the New South Wales Police force, when they followed a trail of shit into the northwestern wall. The Police also arrested Charles' mother and grandfather, the latter of whom died instantly when exposed to the harsh Australian sunlight.

Charles and May were let go with a warning, and were told that they could go anywhere they wanted, as long as it was not a Bunnings store.

The two agreed to this deal. Can you guess where they immediately went after being let go by the police?

Charlie Balls escaped police capture. His mother was much less fortunate. She suffered the death sentence for her crimes. Charlie was now on the run across Australia.

Dear reader, the year was 1 AB. Do you know what happened in Australia in 1 AB?

He died in it.