Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)

Donald J. Trump
Aliases	The Great MAGA King, Drumpf
Affiliation	The Employers, People of Old Earth, People of New Earth
Occupation	God-Emperor of Earth (Former)
Biographical information
Marital status	Eternally Soul-Tethered to Vice Emperor Mike Pence
Date of birth	Unknown
Place of birth	The Outervoid
Date of death	1 A.B. (Supposed)
Place of death	Glue Factory in Albuquerque, NM
Physical description
Species	Human
Gender	Male
Height	14’6’
Weight	18,000,000,000,000,000 Kilograms
Eye color	Blue
Appearances

Trump, using his eyes

Biography:

Donald Trump, the Great MAGA King, was a demigod under the service of the Employers. Donald was initially an Aeon without any physical form, but was later given a body to act as the enforcer of The Employer’s will.

Birth:

As an Aeon, Donald’s true date of “birth” is entirely unknown to anyone but the Employers.

Spawn into the Omniverse:

When Donald was unleashed upon the Omniverse, his planet of spawn was Earth. Donald’s purpose in spawning was to destroy the $5 Chalupa Box and bring an end to Taco Tuesday. However, Donald’s spawn date was  timed to roughly 5 months after the commencement of Taco Tuesday. Despite being later than the average drunkard father to his kid’s football game, the widespread death and smell of the diarrhea-filled undergarments of the inhabitants enraged Donald. Donald approached one of the survivors, and despite his awful stench, was able to formulate a sentence asking where the $5 Chalupa Box was. The survivor, named Mike Pence, directed Donald to the $5 Chalupa Box which could be seen barely peaking over the horizon. As payment for his services, Donald magically cleaned Pence’s clothing and granted him a portion of his own power (Roughly 15% according to surviving records). Donald ordered Pence to travel across Earth, and cure those suffering from depressingly-shat pantaloons. Pence acknowledged his task and set out into the barren hellscape that Pangea had become.

Slaying of the $5 Chalupa Box and Undoing of Taco Tuesday:

Donald travelled for many months on foot to reach the $5 Chalupa Box, but after a long climb up the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, he finally met face-to-box with the accursed obelisk of Bellian origin, it took him only two words to destroy it.

“You’re fired.” - Donald Trump

After the subatomic seperation of the $5 Chalupa Box, Donald asked of the people of Earth one favor. That being to bring Postal Dude, Duke Boris Zyklon of Breastland, and Richard M. Nixon before him so that they may face punishment. The people happily obliged and within 6 days all three perpetrators had been found. In the Grand Trial, all three had been found guilty and, upon taking three steps outside the makeshift courthouse (Honestly more of a degenerate sex shack than anything else), Postal Dude and Richard M. Nixon were told to speak their last words.

“Damn, here I was minding my own business, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights and you people have to freak out on me.” -

Postal Dude

“I'm innocent. You've got to believe I'm innocent. If you don't, take my life.” - Richard M. Nixon

Duke Boris however, fell to his knees before the God-Emperor, the other two having already met his Border Blade. This pathetic scene caused everyone, Donald included, to laugh at Boris like the dumbass he was. Donald chose to spare his life because he thought knowing Boris shit himself in fear every time Donald’s name was spoken was a suitable punishment for a man responsible for so many soiled undies. Boris later ran off into the forest and he is speculated to have gone mad from the public humiliation endured earlier.

After dealing penance to those responsible for Taco Tuesday, Donald circuited his power into the Bass Pros Pyramid, and promptly un-shit everyone’s pants worldwide. Afterwards, Donald used his power to sink the Bass Pros Shop Pyramid far underground so that no one may cause a Shittening-level event ever again.

Construction of Trump Tower and formation of Americana Aeterna:

Donald soon commissioned a gigantic tower, named Trump Tower, from which he could see all of Pangea. The tower took approximately 140,000,000,000,000,000 years to construct and accidents resulted in the deaths of about 13 billion. In this timeframe, Donald had used part of his power to build a massive civilization known as Americana Aeterna. He had also fathered a child, Barron. (He was named after Baron Zyklon, as it remained one of the Great MAGA King’s fondest memories throughout his entire existence.) After construction of the tower had finished Donald spent most of his time incoherently tweeting about non-existent political issues, which he found funny.

Some of his most notable accomplishments include:

Unifiying humanity under one banner

Slaying the leaders of Poland

Singlehandedly creating Americana Aeterna

Oversaw the end of the Great META War in the United States

Established Diplomatic Ties with Ohio

End of Legume Arrangements (Undone by the Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster in 1 A.B.)