Great META War 2

The Second Great META War was an intergalactic conflict occurring from 20,010 AB to 20,030 AB. Spanning a mere twenty years, the war was one of the largest scale conflicts in Omniversal History. The Second Great META War encompassed two galaxies (The Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies) and a distance of over 5 million lightyears. There were two major factions involved in this conflict; those being The Combine Empire and the Waifurian Empire.

The Supreme Emperor of the Combine Empire, the near-immortal Xos. More machine than creature, Xos possessed nearly infinite knowledge of the Andromeda Galaxy- and aimed to bend the entire local supercluster to his whims.

Catalyst

The Great META War, which spanned from 200 BB to 1 BB, was one of the most deadly wars in Omniversal History. It had left a permanent scar on the people of Earth; something the Waifurian Empire was keen to never forget. Each July 4, on Empire Day, the sacrifices of the millions of Earthlings lost in this horrible invasion were honored, and citizens and soldiers alike swore an oath of allegiance to the Waifurian Imperial Throne. In the years following their narrow victory over the Combine Invasion Force, the Waifurian Empire had expanded into a galactic federation; they became a union not just for Earth or her solar system, but for the Milky Way in its entirety. By 20,000 AB, 9 Billion civilizations (roughly 95% of the Milky Way's citizens) were either under the jurisdiction, or aligned with, the Waifurian Empire.

The Waifurian Empire had an insatiable thirst for conquest- and their next goal was to expand outward from the Milky Way- into the Combine home galaxy, the Andromeda Galaxy. On January 20, 20,010 AB, exactly twenty-thousand years after the formation of the Waifurian Empire, The Emperor gave a speech in which he announced that the Waifurian Empire was finally ready to take its revenge for the desecration of Earth all those years ago. Below is the transcription of the speech.

"Folks, here's the deal. Twenty Thousand and two hundred years ago, our planet was attacked by space invaders- and for the next two hundred years, we were repeatedly subject to genocide, exploitation, and subjugation from these Combine overlords. Billions of people lost their lives during this terrible War. Today, we remember those lost in all of the terrible attacks of those two centuries- from the Europeans in the Spanish Inquisition, to the Asians in the Sickle Cell Campaign. We remember the Massacre At Ottawa, where the first lives were lost to these monsters- and we remember those soldiers who gave their lives protecting General Hernia at the Battle of Alexandria, where we won our decisive victory.

Folks, we expunged the Combine from the Earth in 1 BB, with- you know- the gigamagnet thing. But- come on man, they got away with it. They went back to their galaxy, to their Empire, and continued to do what they always do- steal, pillage, and destroy. Our calamitous reckoning was a drop in the bucket to the Combine Overlords. These are horrible, horrible creatures. To this day, they are conquering civilizations, looting planets, and murdering trillions. For too long, the Combine has been a plague upon this universe. For too long, the Combine has reaped what they did not sow! This ends now! The people of this galaxy will not stand for it! Folks, it is our duty to speak up for those who can not speak for themselves. We must be a voice to the voiceless. We must extend our hands to the fallen. This empire has protected the people of this galaxy for thousands of years. And now, fellow citizens, it is time for us to stand up for what is right- to fulfill our patriotic duty, and say enough is enough!

Today, I am authorizing a deployment of 40 million Waifurian Troops, Five Million Naval vessels, and Six Million Escort ships, to depart from Waifuria Prime before noon tomorrow. These ships will head directly to the Combine in the Andromeda Galaxy- directly to their homeworld- with many more to follow. We are going to destroy the Combine leadership, and we will lay to ruin their archaic, monstrous government. We will restore peace and justice to the Andromeda Galaxy. And we will avenge our fallen brethren. Folks, today is a date that will live in infamy- the Day the Combine began to fall- and I hope you will join me in celebrating this great leap forward. God Bless Waifuria, and God Bless our Troops. Thank you, and Good Night".

Raxus Milluk was a hyperintelligent being.

The Waifurian Invasion Fleet

Indeed, the next day, a massive fleet of star ships, so large it could be spotted from 2 light years away, left from Waifuria Prime, at the edge of the Milky Way, and raced towards the Andromeda Galaxy. Led by General Raxus Milluk, an esteemed veteran with centuries of experience, the fleet began traveling at uberlight speeds towards the Andromeda galaxy. Unfortunately, they found that even traveling at the fastest speeds possible, these ships would take millions of years to arrive in the Andromeda Galaxy. Raxus ordered a full halt of all military vessels, and convened with his command team about what their next course of action should be.

The command staff all had varying suggestions of what should be done. One commander suggested cryogenically freezing all of the 1.9 Billion Waifurian troops onboard their vessels. Another offered the idea of an invasion through Xen. Captain Gorrin E. Maldives suggested that instead of traveling to the Andromeda Galaxy- they bring the Andromeda Galaxy to them. When pressed on the issue, Maldives explained that he had heard tales of a mythological creature capable of shifting galaxies through spacetime.

Of course, most of the military officers laughed this suggestion off as nonsense, but Raxus asked Maldives to continue. Maldives detailed the whispers he'd heard in the towns of Garraxia, of a cultish people in the Ghetsin-Todd system who worshipped an all-powerful bean of some sort. The ancient War Hero and mythological musician, Rick Hernia, was also rumored to be living among this group.

This intrigued Raxus, and he ordered the deployment a small squadron of 10,000, under the leadership of Gorrin E. Maldives, to the Ghetsin system in search of the 'Hero of Waifuria'. The rest of the Waifurian Invasion Fleet remained stationary approximately 10 lightyears away from the Red Giant Star Betelgeuse. The light from this star would obscure their fleet from even the most high-powered Combine Intergalactic telescopes- or so they hoped...

The Combine Offices Complex Knot (C.O.C.K.), was a massive synthetic planetoid that was roughly twice the volume of Jupiter.

The Emperor's New Groove

Meanwhile, in the Andromeda Galaxy, the Waifurian Invasion Fleet had not gone unnoticed by the Combine Empire. The Emperor's Chief Security Consultant, Arcus, had been alerted to the Waifurian maneuver from a double agent within the billions-strong Waifurian army. He immediately informed the Emperor's Majordomo and head of the Imperial Bureau of Security, G-4323, and a full blockade was erected in a Dyson Sphere around the C.O.C.K. within days.

Additionally, fifty Combine motherships were deployed the Rimworld of Ferinah, which laid at the outermost edge of the Combine's sphere of influence. The Emperor summoned his Advisors to his quarters, and the group conferred about how best to defend their Empire. Xos knew of the power the Waifurian Empire held; over the twenty-thousand years since their devastating loss to Donald J. Trump's Gigamagnet, the two galactic forces had engaged in the odd skirmish over territory; however, nothing could have prepared the Combine for an invasion force of this scale. The group deliberated about sending ships through their old portal in Mexico's City 9; however, it was determined that the Albuquerque Black Holes were at too close of a distance to safely allow spacecraft to pass through here. Ultimately, they decided their best offense would be a strong, ready defense- which stood alert and prepared for invasion at any moment.

The Temple of Rannjoe housed the Omniversal Energy Anchor, the Legume.

Francis and the Warshippers

When Captain Maldives arrived on the surface of Ghetsin 3, he landed his ships a few miles away from the Temple of Rannjoe, having sensed large quantities of life-forms residing inside of this structure. However, as his troops began unboarding their ships, they were met with a delegation of Warshippers, brandishing Legumish Weapons.

The delegation was led by Supreme Warshipper Francis Merrigold, who inquired as to the group's intentions in being 'so near to our sacred One', as he put it. Captain Maldives explained to Francis the stories he had heard of the Legume's immense power, and that the Waifurian Empire needed a way to travel to another galaxy quickly and efficiently- or to bring it to them.

"The Legume is not to be used to make war. It is a tool of peace and justice. No... I can't help you, son", Francis had said, before turning away.

"But I know someone who can."

Francis and the Warshippers invited Gorrin and his bodyguards back to the Temple of Rannjoe, where Millings, the pathetic, despicable oaf of a janitor in the residence, was made to prepare a grand feast for the guests. The Waifurians and the Warshippers exchanged pleasantries for several minutes, before Francis stood up abruptly and said, "We Must Attend to our Sacred One. We will return in eleven hours. He should be with you shortly."

"He? Who's he?", asked a junior officer, Quincy Himbrox.

"Well, If the legends are true, Quincy... then we're about to meet Rick Hernia."

Rick Hernia's Humanish Incarnate, which he took whenever he was in the presence of humans.

And sure enough, in through the door strode Rick Hernia himself, in a human incarnate. He smiled and greeted the group, and they exchanged pleasantries. Quincy Himbrox bowed to Rick Hernia, and began babbling on about how he was his role model- and Rick Hernia smiled and patted him on the shoulder, before turning to Captain Maldives.

"I know what you want, Captain. And I can do it. I'd happily join your ranks in the fight against the Combine Empire."

Maldives was startled by this, but Rick Hernia continued-

"Captain, I was drafted into the MTO at a young age- and I spent two centuries fighting these monsters. And although I lost my head- and nearly my life, too, I would gladly do it ten thousand times over to protect the people of Earth. Earth is a very, very special place. You know that, Captain?"

"Well, I mean, yes, sir-"

"Please, call me Rick. Richard. Marcus. Whatever you want. Earth is special because humans have something that no other species has- does anyone know what?"

The soldiers stood silent for a moment, and then young Quincy raised his hand.

"Souls, Mister Hernia, sir?"

Rick smiled. "Yes, Quincy, souls. Bequeathed upon them from the very beginning, from Prometheus and The Great MAGA King. Souls are what set humans apart from every other species in the Omni-I mean, universe. Sure, there are a few exceptions, myself- the gods, and my good friend Keith-", Rick now motioned to Keith Cumshoes, who was lounging back in the corner, smoking a blunt. Keith waved at them, and then looked back up at the ceiling.

Rick smiled once again. "So, in conclusion, yes, I'll help you fight against the Combine. And I suggest you ready your ships for the Galactic Upheaval; it happens quickly and you don't want to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time."

And so, Rick packed his things, and said his goodbyes to Keith, before departing with the Waifurian Delegation. The group boarded the command ship and quickly set off from Ghetsin 3, back towards the main fleet near Betelgeuse.

Quincy Himbrox

The Grand Galactic Upheaval

"Hey, that Sacred One thing they were talking about- on Ghetsin 3- that seemed pretty powerful, huh, Captain?", Asked Quincy in a whisper to Captain Maldives. Maldives nodded and shushed him, and the two directed their attention to the starboard command center, where they were watching Rick Hernia and General Raxus quietly discussing something.