Joxef Rabinex Bydon XII

Joxef Rabinex Bydon XII

Joxef Rabinex Bydon XII was an intergalactic warmonger and was appointed ruler of the Saturnian Faction in 30,400,220 AB. A distant descendant of Joe Biden (via Hunter Biden's illegitimate Rat Son) , Joxef warshipped his brainrotten ancestor, and believed that somewhere in the Omniverse, the Mummy still slumbered.

Orbital Bombardment of Garraxia

Siege of Garraxia

in 30,400,223 AB, Joxef led the Saturnian Siege of Garraxia. A battalion 400 strong of Saturnian warships descended on the Garraxian capital city of Brillonia, and Joxef broadcast the customary Saturnian 'Surrender or Die' message. Much to Joxef's surprise, no response came back from the surface. After waiting several minutes, and sending the message again, Joxef ordered the land invasion troops to begin preparing for touchdown.

Joxef was no ordinary military leader; oh no. Joxef was the first one to set foot on the battlefield, before all of his men.

Joxef stepped off of his command ship, and was immediately greeted by a Garraxian photonic warhead, which blasted him with a massive, incalculable quantity of excessive photons in a blinding white flash. Joxef, having inherited the Bidonic family Immortality, was of course, completely unfazed by this. Joxef brushed off the ashes of what had, seconds before, been his two best soldiers, and called for the next ranking officers to flank him.

The True Scourge of The Omniverse

Joxef was ruthless. His immortality had made him fearless and apathetic towards life across the Omniverse. He conquered, enslaved, and slaughtered entire civilizations- but it wasn't for money. It wasn't for power. Joxef did it for fun.

Joxef ordered his ground invasion forces to take Brillonia. He stood and watched as they stormed off of the launch ships, Greenspill guns in hand. Joxef's men held strong at first; they did fairly well against the unarmed civilian population. Soon after though, the Garraxian Ubermilitary arrived, and began putting up a fight. Joxef toyed with them for a while, giving his men bad orders in order to feign progress to the Garraxians. Joxef grew annoyed when the Garraxians began making actual progress, and then ordered a full-scale orbital bombardment (with several thousand troops still on the surface). Joxef's Naval commanders, loyal till the end, immediately began firing away. Joxef's Saturnian men and Garraxians alike became engulfed in the dusty, magenta explosions of the Brillonian city soil. Joxef stood amongst the wreckage, looking up at his fleet with pride.

Death Warrant

Although he would never admit it to himself, Joxef wanted only one thing in life. After being alive for two million years- Joxef wanted to die. Joxef had tried everything- burning, drowning, electrocution, nuclear bombardment- he even blew up a planet while on the surface in an attempt to die. Unfortunately for Joxef, he survived even this.

Joxef hadn't expected the orbital bombardment to kill him; of course. He'd hoped it would have hurt, though.

Joxef pondered the many ways he'd tried to die, as people fell to the ground in agony all around him. He was shocked suddenly, when he saw a small spaceship headed towards the city- not away from it- and ordered his navy officers to cease fire immediately. This could be interesting.