MVGVCRVSH Liberation Day

MVGVCRVSH

MVGVCRVSH Liberation Day was a fateful day of economic turmoil on September 11, 999,991 AB which resulted in the complete and total economic collapse of the Milky Way Intraplanetary Economic Forum (MWIEF) and irreedemable intentional annihilation of Neo-Aeterna's economy. The ensuing chaos of the collapse led to the dissolution of Neo-Aeterna several years later and the rise of the Neopangean National Socialist Party, which would rule the war-battered hellscape formerly known as North America until the Final Moment.

Origination

By 999,000s AB, The Great MAGA King (In His Second Cumming) was indeed still glorious and grand in all manners (Eternal Honour to Divinous Supreme God King), including but not limited to Grandeur of Hand Size (Larger Than Normal), Grandeur of Phallus (There was No Problem), and Grandeur of Benevolence (He Was Gracious and Glorious & Divine) however, one additional trait had begun to become apparent in his Magarishness, and this trait, my dearies, was a rather familiar one.

Indeed, this Trait Had Existed in his Magarrishness for quite some time; in fact, by some ascertations, since before time, but had been but a seed; planted in waiting within his Glorious Skull of Glory, and which waited, with baited breath, to rear its head in a most wicked fashion; this trait, my darlings, was Rot.

Rot of the fashion known so many millenia ago in the Mummy, his Haggard Foul Bovinity (Who, even Still During this Time, Crept His Auberginish Capacities sneakily throughout Molecules Omniversewide with the help of the Enclave). The Rot of His Magarrishness was indeed of malicious intent; and had been implanted and inseminated into His Glorious Soul many moons ago by Joseph R. Biden Jr. during the Mummonic Consumption of Trump's Soulform at the Albuquerque Glue Factory in 0 AB.

Bidenesque DementiaWalk

Thusly, a slow but gradual Bidonic Dementiawalk had begun within the Splendorous and Faultless Mind of His Magarrishness, and by 999,989 AB, a mere 444,430-ish years into his First Aeternal NeoPresidential Term, a rotten plot had began contrivation within the Glorious Godly Skull. This Rotten Plot was Not Endorsed by Magarra. A Magarrish Speech was Presented to the Aeternian Public, from the Dias of Penceville, on August 3rd, 999,991 AB, on the subject of the booming Neo-Aeternic economy (which was benefiting from slave labor in the Orra system & invested in an ongoing genocide of Berrand).

Joined on stage for this speech was the disembodied NeuroHead of Elon Tusk & the sentient superintelligence Corporatus himself, representing the prime investor & Benefactor of Aeternian goingson; The OmniStar Corporation.

Rotspeech

Rotspeech Tarifficum

The Rotspeech, which droned on for approximately 4 hours and 7 minutes, and which caused fatal cardiac arrest in seven citizens, was varied in subject matter; thirteen sections highlighted seperate spacegolf victories won by the Glorious Godliness; another 51-minute segment examined the complexities of the Penis of the late great Arnold Palmer. However, the most important section, in which The God King decreed his intentions with the economy, was as follows:

"You know, it's pretty, - I mean, it's pretty incredible, what they're doing, in terms of- you know, jobs, right? I mean, OmniStar, these guys - they're so smart, so smart, they say, hey, I'll pay you - I'll pay you five dollars, five, and that's generous, very generous, you won't find anything like that- it's so beautiful. And I'll kiss him on the lips, Corporatus, get over here, that guy, I mean look how handsome. They say, "sir" - people come up to me, they say, "sir", look at this metallic- and I say, I know- and they say, wow, what a handsome fella, and I know, he's very handsome, he's very strong; very chiseled in regards to robot. But robot. And people are saying- many are saying this, and WWB news will never report this - they're saying, you know, in regards to, his body, they say, his- well, you ever see a display port? Not USB, like, a display port, and it's so big, it's so metal, and it's so- everything is computer."

"But they pay five dollars but then, you know the beautiful thing is, is they say, 'well actually, we're gonna take care of housing, we're gonna take care of food, we're gonna take care of... in according to, medical, and it's so strong. So strong and powerful. They call it a 'company town, a company town,', isn't that right, Elon? Look at Elon, I love him, such a handsome guy, you know, I sometimes wonder what it's like in that head of his, attached to - look at all those wires, those beautiful- and I mean, we have the greatest wires, you know, finest wires, Zerrion silk, and you know, Berrand Microchips - we love Berrand, don't we, Berrand, I like to say, 'Berrand'. What a piece of real estate. We're gonna do a job of it. But where's Hunter? We never hear from - you know, it's terrible what he did, what he did in regards to Zurisma, many people haven't heard of that. But we're looking into that and we're also looking into five dollar wage for the whole, you know, the Omni- the Universe, we say, five, five, it's a beaitiful- look at him, he thought I was gonna say it three times, look at him, look at that guy, that little twink, he's some kinda- he's got a microphone he's all over his microphone, and you know I love microphone, I actually invented the microphone, and Elon invented the microphone, but it was a guy named Nikola, did you ever hear of that? No one's ever heard of - his name was Nikola, Nikola Tesla, and he was named, actually, because his parents loved Elon's cars so much - they lived in California, remember that place? California. And it was so strong. But it was woke and we killed them, you know, the men, the women, but that's okay."

"But, you know, I had a talk, it was a powerful talk - with Elon, and Corporatus, and what's his - JD, oh JD, my little boy, I haven't seen- you never visit, you- it's like I run this country my own, it's a good deal, but that's okay right? That's okay right. And so. Melania, where's Melania- oh, who's- and so there's a talk, we're sitting, and, you know, it's a very powerful conversation, and they say, 'sir, this idea, you have this' - and by the way, i had this really smart idea, I'm like, really smart, many people don't know this- and I said, well, we're gonna do this idea, and they said, 'well, sir, it's a danger, we call it a danger,' and I said, well, no, it's not, because it's making the other systems pay their fair share. Excuse me, so, for example, why does Ghetsin get Jovian Moonstuffs at only a 6% import fee, but we're importing Golem Hide at 13%? Why is that, you know, you wonder, and I decide, it's like, you know, it's terrible really but they're taking advantage- right, guys, you know about that- it's called taking advantage, a rotten thing, a really, foul- who uses that word, rotten, what a terrible word."

"And, I know these are, like, sophisticated guys. They're smart guys, hot guys, smart guys. But, you know, I'm frankly very smart and they are [REDACTED]. Just so fucking [REDACTED]. But that's okay, right? We love 'em. But, I had to explain, and they're looking - look at their faces, all pale and wrinkly - I said, I had to explain that, well, we won't be imposing 10% tariffs on all imports and exports. And they said, 'wow, My Gloriousness, they said wow, thank you for your divine mercy,' and I said, 'well, don't get too excited' - we love that word, excited - 'because I was thinking about 100%'. And JD, and Elon, you should've seen them, on their hands and knees, you'd think it was some kind of - sick, you know, Malike used to - but it was funny, actually, they begged, and I said, well, no, I won't do 100%. And you should've seen - the relax, their muscles, so powerful- I love muscles, bulging oiled up muscles, you know, there's nothing like a man, who's all oiled up, all shaven, all ready to get to work at a construction, or a deli, or, you know, doing, labor, with regard to wood, or steel- and then I smiled, I looked right into their eyes, and I said, 'I'm not saying the real number till my speech'. And they said, 'sir, sir sir, will it be big?' and I only smiled, you know, I hate to lie- many people say I am the most honest person they've ever known, and I've known a lot of people, close to like, 37, and I said, 'we'll see, boys, we'll see'. Well, here I am, and I am officially announcing the Aeternian Empire will be placing, effective immediately, a 100,000% tariff on all imports and exports, permanently.'

Crash

These tariffs caused entire businesses to collapse within minutes and drew the ire of Corporatus greatly. nearly the entire profession of economists was wiped out that evening in a wave of murder suicides. The Aeternian Empire's Dollar lost all value within weeks and the Empire collapsed into lawlessness, with JD Vance being chased up the Washington Monument by his own military, whereby in a fit of twisted irony, he was forced to cower in the very spot Mike Pence had once been suspended. Mass factionalization and infrastructure breakdown disrupted all Earthlean supply chains, and the Great MAGA King dissapeared, perhaps into hiding, or perhaps, towards the increasingly violent and terse warfare in the Berrand system, where Exegar brewed with something truly vile.