Naval Terrorism Headquarters: Difference between revisions

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The Naval Terrorism Headquarters in 11 B.B.

Naval Terrorism Headquarters (Titanic III)

The Naval Terrorism Headquarters (Also known as the Titanic III) was a top-secret Combine facility dedicated solely to committing acts of naval terrorism during the Great META War. The headquarters traversed the oceans of Earth, dispelling Ohioan and Combine soldiers to attack innocent civilians whenever the Combine Advisors saw fit.

Specifications

The Titanic III was 1 KM long and .3 KM wide. It was equipped with massive iron tank treads, which it would use to traverse land and sea. It was also eguipped with cannons which shot meat-substitutes and vegan alternatives. The Combine, for some reason, believed this to be an effective weapon against Americans. Perhaps they believed Americans were scared of healthy food.

The Portland, Oregon 'Tractor Beam from Hell' Incident

Many people in Portland, Oregon (pre-hell state) reported fantasizing about the Titanic III's vegan substitutes. In 21 B.B, shortly after the creation of the Titanic III, the Portlandians began constructing a massive tractor beam on top of their precious Iron Dildo. They used it to attract the Titanic III from across the continent and pulled it towards the city, with the intention of harvesting the precious vegan substitutes. Unfortunately, the Portlandians were unable, or unwilling, to consider that there were also over 12,500 Combine troops on the vessel, as well as 15 striders. The tractor beam dragged the ship across North America, leveling entire towns and cities in its wake. The vessel was moving very slowly, so few casualties were reported. (However, many cornfields were destroyed).

After about a year, the Portlandians had almost succeeded in bringing the Titanic III into their city; however, the city was unfortunately suddenly transformed into Hell On Earth. The Tractor Beam's signal was cut off by the instant Hell wall. The Titanic III was mere inches from the outskirts of the self-contained realm of damnation, and several Combine Officers fell into and were consumed by it. Once the Eye of Sauron spawned, it generously reversed the Tractor Beam, and sent the Titanic III flying around the globe 4 times before eventually landing off the coast of Spain.

Destruction

The ship was sunk in 9 B.B. when the captain failed to detect an iceberg off the coast of Jacksonville Florida, being too preoccupied with planning the next act of naval terorrism. The Naval Terrorism Headquarters crashed into and was destroyed by said iceberg. Ironic.

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 [[File:TitanicIII.png|thumb|The Naval Terrorism Headquarters in 11 B.B.]]
-The Naval Terrorism Headquarters (Also known as the Titanic III) were a top-secret [[Combine]] facility dedicated solely to committing acts of naval terrorism during [[The great META war|the Great META War]]. The headquarters traversed the oceans of Earth, dispelling Ohioan and Combine soldiers to attack innocent civilians whenever the Combine Advisors saw fit.
+== Naval Terrorism Headquarters (Titanic III) ==
+The Naval Terrorism Headquarters (Also known as the Titanic III) was a top-secret [[Combine]] facility dedicated solely to committing acts of naval terrorism during [[The great META war|the Great META War]]. The headquarters traversed the oceans of Earth, dispelling [[Ohio|Ohioan]] and Combine soldiers to attack innocent civilians whenever the Combine Advisors saw fit.
+=== Specifications ===
+The Titanic III was 1 KM long and .3 KM wide. It was equipped with massive iron tank treads, which it would use to traverse land and sea. It was also eguipped with cannons which shot meat-substitutes and vegan alternatives. The Combine, for some reason, believed this to be an effective weapon against Americans. Perhaps they believed Americans were scared of healthy food.
+=== The Portland, Oregon 'Tractor Beam from Hell' Incident ===
+Many people in [[Portland Oregon|Portland, Oregon]] (pre-hell state) reported fantasizing about the Titanic III's vegan substitutes. In 21 B.B, shortly after the creation of the Titanic III, the Portlandians began constructing a massive tractor beam on top of their precious [[The Iron Dildo|Iron Dildo]]. They used it to attract the Titanic III from across the continent and pulled it towards the city, with the intention of harvesting the precious vegan substitutes. Unfortunately, the Portlandians were unable, or unwilling, to consider that there were also over 12,500 Combine troops on the vessel, as well as 15 striders. The tractor beam dragged the ship across North America, leveling entire towns and cities in its wake. The vessel was moving very slowly, so few casualties were reported. (However, many cornfields were destroyed).
+After about a year, the Portlandians had almost succeeded in bringing the Titanic III into their city; however, the city was unfortunately suddenly transformed into [[Portland Oregon|Hell On Earth]]. The Tractor Beam's signal was cut off by the instant Hell wall. The Titanic III was mere inches from the outskirts of the self-contained realm of damnation, and several Combine Officers fell into and were consumed by it. Once the [[Eye of Sauron]] spawned, it generously reversed the Tractor Beam, and sent the Titanic III flying around the globe 4 times before eventually landing off the coast of Spain.
 === Destruction ===
 The ship was sunk in 9 B.B. when the captain failed to detect an iceberg off the coast of [[Jacksonville Florida]], being too preoccupied with planning the next act of naval terorrism. The Naval Terrorism Headquarters crashed into and was destroyed by said iceberg. Ironic.