Operation Warp Speed

Looking groovy, Mister Pence!

Operation Warp Speed was an initiative launched by United States President Donald John Trump's Space Force in 0 AB. The initiative aimed to harness Combine Technologies in order to develop warp speed travel for Earthlings, as fast as possible.

A Rocky Start

Operation Warp Speed was launched on January 6, 0 AB. The operation was headed by Magarrish Reincarnate, former Alduinian Sacrifice, and Vice President of the United States of America, Mike Pence.

In a public address, Pence claimed that the research facility that would be used to conduct tests was the Michael Jackson Center For Learning, in Cummings, Indiana. However, this was far from the case. In reality, Pence vetted a group of elite scientists from across the world, and, after a rigorous interrogation process, brought the five most qualified with him onto Airforce Two, his private airplane. He didn't tell the scientists where they were headed. They never could have guessed, either.

Ancient Pangean Sacrifice

When the plane landed, the humid, Memphisian air filled the nostrils of Pence's scientists. The Vice President directed several MTO footsoldiers to unload various pieces of Combine equipment from the luggage compartment of his plane. The Scientists were blindfolded and led away from the runway with dog leashes, with Pence charging ahead.

Pence suddenly stopped at a seemingly innocuous area of the runway. For a moment, everyone was still, with the wind blowing softly around this strange group. Suddenly, Pence raised his arms to the sky, whispering softly the names of those who had been sacrificed before him. The MTO soldiers were unfazed by this.

"By the glory of MAGA, Magarra, and all that is good and holy- oh, lord, please be with us on this glorious day. We offer you five of Earth's finest minds; we hope their immense knowledge brings you great satisfaction."

At the sound of this, the Scientists began screaming, attempting to run from the increasingly-warm pavement of the landing strip. The MTO soldiers held them tightly by their dog collars, and began pushing them into a Magarrish pentagram which had begun glowing on the ground underneath Pence. The Scientists' bodies began slowly heating up; starting at their fingers, they were slowly incinerated by the pure energy being radiated upon them. it was so hot, that the air boiled and their screams were heard by none.

After the sacrifice had been completed, the fiery glow faded from Pence's eyes, and he held his hands together in prayer.

Secret of the Prehumanists

The ground split open below Pence and the MTO soldiers and dark, narrow crevice was revealed, and Pence beckoned the soldiers to follow him. As they walked, the temperature decreased drastically, to the point where the MTO soldiers, in padded combat gear, were shivering. Pence showed no signs of discomfort. He stopped at a large, wrought-iron door, which had been coated with millenia of ice and snow.

He held his hand onto the door, and then, channeling the Legumish Quintessence, in a move that surprised even the Employers- Pence thrust the door open. The Employers had never seen, nor known, of a being capable of wielding both Magarrish and Legumish energies; the Auditor spit out his Cherry Cola when he was informed of this.

Pence motioned for the MTO soldiers to follow him into the large, ancient antechamber. Ornate, marble carvings of Donald Trump, Chraunor, Ed Wool, and various other deities adorned the walls. At this point in Omniversal History, this was the oldest structure of All Time. Built duirng the dawn of mankind of Earth, The Divine Sanctum had been untouched for billions of years. As the MTO soldiers unloaded the equipment, Pence began explaining;

"I'm sure all of you know a little bit about American history. You know about the Founding Father, the Civil War, and all of that. But I know you've heard other stories, haven't you?"

The footsoldiers offered no response. Pence chuckled soullessly.

"Oh, come on. Don't be a monkey's uncle! I know you've heard tales of the ancient times- haven't you?"

One soldier bravely responded. "No-No sir."

Pence chuckled even more soullessly. When he opened his mouth this time, his eyed rolled back in his head and his teeth were visibly rotting.