Pandajerker (Scourge of China)

The Pandajerker was a Class VB cryptoid which prowled the forests of China, disguising itself as a panda to unsuspecting travelers. Then, when they least expected it, the Pandajerker would launch into a politically misinformed tirade, belittling the travelers and calling them 'lesbians'. (It's thought the Pandajerker was so homophobic because it was actually closeted, and was jealous of individuals who lived their truths).

When the travelers argued with the Pandajerker, they would usually win the argument, as the Pandajerker was very politically misinformed. The Pandajerker would then enter Breeding Mode. It would begin to 'jerk' its seven reproductive stalks in front of the travelers. It would often find an actual panda bear to mount and, unfortunately, disembowel during this time. The Pandajerker would then turn to the travelers, and try to argue again, before running away like the fragile misinformed political brainlet that it was.