United States 2020 Election

The United States 2020 Election (Often referred to as the 2020 Election) was the final election cycle in the United States of America before the ascension of the Mummy to North American Overlord and later, Emperor. It took place from 1 BB to 0 AB.

Overview

There were two political parties involved in this election, as there had been (astoundingly) for the past 230 years, with the Mummy and Kamala Harris on the Blue Corporate Interests ticket, and incumbent The Great Maga King and Mike Pence on the Red Corporate Interests ticket.

Corporate Interests

There was very little ideological difference between the Blue Corporate Interests Party and the Red Corporate Interests Party. The Red Party typically worked to dismantle the American Government and strip rights from citizens, while the Blue Party fought hard to do absolutely nothing about it.

Presidential Debates

There were two presidential debates held during this election cycle, the First Presidential Debate and the Third Presidential Debate. As was custom and American Tradition, third-party candidates such as G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) and the Yonise were not invited to the debate stage (only the two corrupt corporate interest parties were allowed to actually govern or even have a chance at governance).

Presidential Quotes

Below are some incredible quotes from the two most competent and stable-minded individuals in America during the 2020 Election.

March 22, 1 BB- Blue Corporate Interests Campaign Event in Delaware

Joe Biden: One point two billion. So you go ahead and stack spaghetti sauce at a store in-in-in a supermarket. You control the guy or the woman that runs the rub...run-brings out the carts on-on-or-on a forklift. What happened?

March 23, 1 BB- Biden campaign event in Memphis, Tennessee

Joe Biden (to Audience member): But look, fat, look. Here's the deal...

April 1, 1 BB- Presidential Visit at Chicago Central Preschool

Trump (speaking to preschoolers): So, we got our great American gigamagnet, made right here in the USA, by the way, and we- we fucking magnet the hell out of em. ‘Get those Combine fucks outta here’, I told him. 'Grab 'em by that sweet alien pussy', I said.

July 4th, 1 BB- Trump Rally/ Dark MAGA Assemblage in Albuquerque

Trump: I’ll walk into that audience, I’ll walk in there, kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys... and the beautiful women.

July 17th, 1 BB- Biden Campaign Event in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Joe Biden (speaking about prepubescent children): And I want to see these beautiful young ladies- I want to see them dancing when they're four years older too.

July 20th, 1 BB- Red Corporate Interests Campaign Event in Atlanta, Georgia

Trump: Israel has hypnotized the world. May Allah Awaken the people and help them to see the evil doings of Israel, and the United States.

October 6, 0 AB (Debate 1)

Trump: Don’t ever use the word smart with me, Joe.

Biden: P-Pomegranate. Folks, this is what he does.

Trump: I do what, Joe? What’s the matter? Am I hurting your rotten brain?

Biden: Will you shut up, man?

Trump: I’ve fucked a lot of folks, Joe. I’ll fuck you too.

[CROWD GASPS]

October 18, 0 AB (Debate 3)

Debate Moderator: Are you at all concerned your Xen creature ban is going to cause more anger among vortigaunts around the world?

Trump: Anger? There’s plenty of anger right now. How can you have more?

Debate Moderator: You don’t think it will exacerbate the problem?

Trump: David, David—I mean, I know you’re a sophisticated guy. The world is a mess. The world is as angry as it gets. What you think this is going to cause a little more anger? The world is an angry place. All of this has happened. We went into Ohio. We shouldn’t have gone into Ohio. We shouldn’t have gotten out the way we got out- nuclear pumpkin and all. The world is a total mess. The world is a mess, David.

Election Results

Ultimately, the Mummy won the election by 3 votes. The MAGA King was infuriated by this, and began claiming the election had been stolen. This greatly displeased James Fargo, a Benefactor of Joe Biden. James Fargo drafted a statement that he then released from Joe Biden's official twitter account, which claimed that the Great MAGA King had purposely spread the Combine-19 Virus across the country. He also hired several hitmen to take out the incumbent president, all of whom were stopped and consumed by various Dark MAGA cultists outside of Trump's residence.

January 6 Insurrection

With his reputation in ruins, Trump furiously called on his Great American Patriots to "do what is right". On January 6, 1 AB, Trump and several thousand Dark MAGA G-Anon truthers arrived at the United States Capitol Building with an army of stolen and repurposed Combine weaponry leftover from the Great META War. Before they began their assault, Trump ranted for several minutes about how G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) would be the new vice president and would help them overtake the U.S. Government. The crowd entered the United States Capitol grounds. Several Combine Striders began firing at the Capitol dome, and the building's ceiling soon collapsed. The crowd stormed into the Capitol halls, as the MAGA King stood on a Combine artillery tank, shouting "Turn those lights off. Turn them off NOW." By January 8th, the entire building was in shambles and many U.S. Government authorities were missing or presumed dead.

The Glue Factory Incident

Joe Biden, then Chairman of the Union of North American nations known as the Board of Waifuria, faced mounting pressure from his fellow world leaders to condemn the massacre and destruction of his country's capital. The Mummy failed to condemn the riot, but he knew that something had to be done. If only someone could do something!

A representative from the Chairman's office contacted the offices of the Great MAGA King, and a meeting was planned to discuss how to move forward with the transition of power. They met at the Albuquerque Glue Factory. After this fateful and pivotal meeting, Joe Biden's political power only seemed to grow, and the MAGA King was never seen again.

End of Democracy

On his Presidential Inauguration day on January 20, 1 AB, Joe Biden announced he would not be stepping down as Chairman of the Board of Waifuria, as was custom to do. Instead, he declared in a bizarre and incoherent speech that he would be uniting the nations of North America under the banner of 'Waifuria' and creating a new, united North American nation. He had not previously consulted Mexico, Canada, or Jacksonville Florida on this matter, but the United States military soon saw to it that they were 'convinced' to join this union. (The United States staged military coups in the governments of all of its closest allied nations). Several years later, this North American Overlorddom would become the Waifurian Empire when Joe Biden held and performed his own coronation ceremony in 10 AB.