Bidonic Ascent

Emperor Joseph Robinette Biden II, on the day of his Imperial Coronation.

The Bidonic Ascent was the historical term for the period of time from roughly 2 BB to 10AB, when Joe Biden maneuvered his way from MTO Veteran cardholder to Supreme Emperor of the Omniverse in just a few short years.

2 BB

As the Great META War raged on across the Earth, tensions were reaching a breaking point. The Combine Army was desperately throwing troops at the major centers of human civilization in North America and Asia. Washington DC faced a growing orbital bombardment problem, despite the best efforts of the administration of president and Magarra incarnate, Donald J. Trump.

Behind the scenes, hidden forces were most displeased with the failures of the MAGA King. The country had lost significant territory, with the Combine annexing large swaths of Oregon and Washington state. The Red Corporate Interests Party and Blue Corporate Interests Party bickered constantly, blaming the ongoing conflict on one another repeatedly, and failing to do anything constructive to help the wartorn republic they lived in.

Congress had become ineffective; a bloated, symbolic machine which served only to stop itself from functioning. The Great MAGA King was an archaic embodiment of the failures of America- a relic of a long bygone era, who some believed to be restrained by his inhumanity (a curse suffered by all pre-humanic peoples on Earth before the gifts of Prometheus).

As the 2020 Election loomed on the horizon, hidden agents sought a return to American normalcy. The Chairman of the Board of Waifuria, The Mummy, was determined to be the prime candidate for this venture- boring, uncontroversial, and completely brainrotten. The CIA had been exploiting and using for fifty years (various reasons, including [MK-REDACT]. They secretly paid off every major Blue Corporate Interests Party candidate to drop out of the race, and propped Joe Biden up as the sole candidate to run against the MAGA King.

MAGAMOON Rally.

1 BB

The two quickly began firing insults at one another on live television, as both of their campaigns began ramping up. The Great MAGA King began holding 'MAGAMOON' Rallies on the surface of Earth's Moon, which drew tens of thousands of intergalactic spectators. Mummy also held several zoom Meetings.

When the Great META War was finally ended, thanks to the help of nobody special and his Gigamagnet, the Great MAGA King, taking all the credit, recieved a significant boost in polling, pitting the two ancient deities against one another. A months-long period of intense campaigning began here.

0 AB

Several mysterious anomalous events occurred during this period of campaigning, not the least of which was the introduction of the Combine-19 Virus into the United States of America. This lethal virus quickly spread across the world, causing significant damage to the global economy and shutting down most facets of every day life (much to the dismay of the Americans, who continued on with business as usual, until they were disabled or killed by the disease they called a 'hoax'.)

Additionally, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) learned how to use a smartphone, and began posting ominous threats towards the United States government on his page @mr.gman.in.the.flesh. His post where he claimed 'you have no idea what is coming in January' would later be used as evidence against him in court, but more on that later.

Joe Biden, still sitting as Chairman of the Board, and Donald Trump, the sitting president, effectively delegated most of their duties to underlings as they fought vigorously and traveled across the Earth-Moon system campaigning. This led to a period of litigious anarchy where laws with horrendous errors were passed, such as

The MAGA King and Mummy had several intense debates during the period of the 2020 Election. Ultimately, Joe Biden won the election, despite the many grievances of the Magarra Incarnate, who contested (to no avail) the election results in all 48 states.

The Glue Form

1 AB

1 AB began rather violently. The Great MAGA King, unwilling, or unable, to accept the results of the 2020 Election, staged an insurrection on the United States Capitol, staffed largely of Dark MAGA and G-Anon conspirators. Using stolen Combine equipment, they invaded the Capitol lawn, and began blasting holes in the walls of congress. Despite the valiant efforts of people inside such as Nancy Baloney, many people perished in this attack, and the Capitol Building was severely damaged.