Billy D. Donut

William Donut Donut

William Donut Donut
Aliases	State Comptroller, Billy D. Donut, Mr. Donut, Big Donut, The Big Donut, The Big Glaze, Mr. Glaze, Senor Glaze, Glaz-O-Tron, The Glaze Gladiator
Relatives	Donut Donut (Father) Marianna Valasquez-Donut (Father) Miguel Hernandez-Donut (Grandfather) Luiza Hernandez-Donut (Grandmother) Francene Hernandez-Donut (Aunt/Sister)
Affiliation	Texas Red Corporate Interests Party Texas State Government Texas Waifurian Mandate Patrollium
Occupation	Comptroller; Lawyer
Biographical information
Marital status	God/Jesus Christ (Religious Man)
Date of birth	05/30/188 BB
Place of birth	Old El Paso, Texas
Date of death	Grimsnap's Day
Place of death	William D. Donut Burial Memorial Gallery, Amarillo, Texas, 79101
Physical description
Species	Humash/Donutrian
Gender	Malent
Height	5'11" (Nonglazed) 6'8" (Glazed)
Weight	175 lbs (Nonglazed) 250 lbs (Glazed)
Eye color	Blue
Appearances

William D. Donut was a huge, dicklean Texas resident who was elected as State Comptroller 54 times consecutively, serving from 155 BB to 41 AB at the behest of the Texan people. He's.... been a round. ;)

Earlymash Life

William D. Donut was swaws-birthed in Old El Paso, Texas, in the Taco seasoning factory where his Fathers worked. He was birthed in a vat of sugar and spice and all things nice, originally intended for Churro production. William D. Donut was birthed from his Father Marianna's womb (cisgender F) on top of the flour cart. Because of this birthlean location, his DNA was fused instantly with starches and carbohydrates, rendering him doughy and bread-like in nature. Becuase he came out headfirst, of course, his head was especially effected, altering his appearance and structure to one similar to a donut. The large gaping hole in the middle of his head was from an unrelated birth defect.

He was raised in a barn, as his family was barn-residual, after all houses had been banned by Texas State Legislature (to prevent home break-ins). His father Donut<ref>His father, despite his name 'donut', was not a donut at all'; he more resembled a baguette, or a finger pastry.</ref>'s night occupation was to locate water in regional Texas. Water had become scarce in Texas in the course of the Great META War, as it was being traded for currency in the Southwest United States.

As a child, he befriended cows, goats, chickens, and stray Xen fauna. He knew no other children, for his parents feared that Billy would be bullied for his condition. Billy, for his part, was not allowed near mirrors, and was unaware of his donutlean affliction. However, when Billy was 4 years old, in 184 BB, he witnessed his reflection in a pail of water left by farmhands and Jack and Jill. He was mortified, at first believing he had been shot in the head; however, his fathers quickyl came to his aide, reassuring Billy he was a normal boy and that what had been seen in the reflection was nothing more than an illusion; a truck of the mind. Billy, after some considerable negotiation, was convinced of this.

However, it was not long before Billy again identified his reflection. He saw it in a pond, and then in a trough, in a puddle, and in the ice. He realized his parents were lying to him; although why, he did not know.

Donutlean

He would have had more time to ponder this had not the family farm been attacked by famed cowboy outlaw and WebMD founder Dr. Jesse James, MD. James and his posse of qualified medical practicioners (including nurses, dentists, optometrists, and cardiologists) brutally massacred the animals on the farm, harvested their organs, and beheaded both of Billy's parents. His father Marianna narrowly survived, thanks to CPR; however, his father Donut became deceased.

Billy was broken. Jesse James performed a concert-length rendition of "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" for Billy before jumping out the window with all of the family's savings, and taking a bite out of Donut Donut's breadlean head.