Geoffrey Eckstein

Geoffrey

Eckstein and the Grand God Emperor, his close friend and confidante. The two were rather suspicious, although their actions were never investigated; that is, until the Waifurian Purge.

Jeffrey Edward Eckstein (January 20, 67 BB – August 10, 1 BB) was an American NFT connoisseur and convicted arsonist. Geoffrey Eckstein was an award winning philanthropist who won the Nobel Peace Prize 45 times in his lifetime. He was close friends with many prominent figures including Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and James Fargo. Eckstein was incredibly wealthy and nobody ever questioned how he amassed all of his wealth.

Early Life and Shenanigans

Eckstein grew up in New York City. He was born into an incredibly rich family and attended primary school with James Fargo. The two were inseperable as children, however, they frequently engaged in mischievous antics, such as committing arson and destroying their school. Additionally, they killed their teacher in the blaze. James Fargo's wealthy parents were able to get the two out of going to the Jacksonville Florida juvenile detention facility (which the state strongly suggested they do). Instead, the boys were reprimanded with a paddle over the rump and an early bedtime for the next two weeks.

At age 11, Eckstein was convicted of arson, setting him up for a rough future.

MTO Conscription

Eckstein was drafted into the Great META War in 54 B.B, when he reached the customary age of maturity, 13. He was sent to the ranks of General John Jacob Jingle Heimer-Schmidt, where he was bullied by the other soldiers for being so little. Eckstein said something about [REDACTED-NOT APPROVED BY AUDITOR'S OFFICE] one of the soldiers in the night, and his peers mysteriously stopped bullying him.

Eckstein then began mysteriously rising through the ranks, eventually becoming a commander in the 2,432,446th battalion of the United States Military. He had sex with his superior to achieve this role.