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Hazzorius Blume. | Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant. | ||
== Beginning of Business == | |||
Born in 74 BB, Hazzorius never knew a world without [[The great META war|the Great META War]] raging across the eastern front of his state. Hazzorius had humble beginnings; he started his first job working in a candy shop in southern Indiana. Hazzorius was raised on the idea that Ohioans were soulless, bloodthirsty creatures- and far from human, at that. He was taught that they were as bad, or even worse than the [[Combine]]. As a result of this, Hazzorius invented a new candy bar- designed like the [[Ohio]] flag with human shit (chocolate) on top. He was promoted to store manager immediately due to this invention. H | |||
At the age of 18, Hazzorius left home to attend Indianapolis State University. | |||
[[Category:Characters]] | [[Category:Characters]] | ||
Revision as of 06:53, 3 December 2022

Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant.
Beginning of Business
Born in 74 BB, Hazzorius never knew a world without the Great META War raging across the eastern front of his state. Hazzorius had humble beginnings; he started his first job working in a candy shop in southern Indiana. Hazzorius was raised on the idea that Ohioans were soulless, bloodthirsty creatures- and far from human, at that. He was taught that they were as bad, or even worse than the Combine. As a result of this, Hazzorius invented a new candy bar- designed like the Ohio flag with human shit (chocolate) on top. He was promoted to store manager immediately due to this invention. H
At the age of 18, Hazzorius left home to attend Indianapolis State University.