Kathleen Montgomery-Newton IX

Kathleen Montgomery-Newton IX

Kathleen Montgomery-Newton IX, nee Bragorp, was a Vietnamese-American Woman and Percibol Cartel missionary who was the subject of Elon Tusk's Pipevein Experiment, which proved rather consequential for the scientific community as well as the rural farming community of Brisport Falls, Idaho.

Earloids & Fatherly Fate

Kathleen Montgomery-Newton IX was born in 33 BB to a large man, Oip Noip, and a large woman, Bloip Cloip, and despite the impressive size of her parents, was actually rather small, weighing in at around 5 lbs 3 oz when birthed in the Phoenix International Airport, Hospital & Meatpacking Facility. Her father, seeing his daughter's small size, was disgruntled, and thusly threw himself from the window. His life ended with a loud screech and the whirring of meat grindrs<ref>https://www.grindr.com/</ref> against his skin.

Later, he was packaged into batches 3421-1342A, 3421-1344A, 3421-1347T, and 3421-1347U of JF Chickensweet Tenders.

Childoid

Kathleen Montgomery-Newton IX was raised by her mother Bloip in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona, in a small house made of butter crates and cement. This was of course the most affordable and high quality real estate available in Phoenix Arizona, due to the Southwestern Housing Market Boil Order of 34 BB.

As a child, Kathleen was rather facinated by feline animals. Unfortunately, in Phoenix Arizona, these included drug kingpins; namely the nextdoor neighbor cat, Poppa Slop, a 54 lb orange tabby with a marijuana business and too many credit cards to count. Poppa Slop took Kathleen under his wing,.. or rather, his paw.... and killed her mother with a forklift. Next, Poppa Slop took her to a remote ranch in Brisport Falls, Idaho and taught her the ways of blunt rolling and catnip suffocation. By age 9, Kathleen could roll a dubious joint, and by age 10, was a bona fide expert in all of the strains of marijuana. This was grand.

Drug Activites & Higher Education

From 23 BB to 10 BB, in her teenage years, Kathleen was highly active in the Percibol cartel, overseeing huge shipments of marijuana and their proper packagefication. She also ate the mummified remains of 7 out of a fossilized Aeternan ditch. Anyways, Kathleen was Grand, and enjoyed the illegal drug market. However, a small portion, roughly 8.25%, of her brain yearned to return to Phoenix, Arizona. So, Poppa, understanding his adoptive daughter's demands, enrolled her in the Masters of Public Administration Program at the University of Phoenix. This was Grand. Kathleen attended university and recieved her degree, graduating in 6 BB with a Grand Hope for the Future. She remained in Phoenix and was elected to city council, continuing her father's business endeavors on the side.

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (Served 5BB)

Gubernatorial Opposition

Unfortunately for Kathleen, many rotten things were afoot. Arizona Governor Doug Ducey, a Poop Specialist, was displeased with Kathleen's election to the city council. His grievances with her were as follows: 'Kathleen is blatantly running an international drug cartel and using her position as city councilmember to benefit her personal interests'. And while Percibol Cartel did see a 532% increase in sales after Kathleen's election, she almost certainly did not allow her personal life to bleed into her personal life. Indeed, her staunch support of 'Legalize Marijuana' bill A6942, as well as 'Free Milk for All Cats' were strictly political, not at all related to her father's pussycat cartel.

Doug Ducey launched a shitty plan to foil Kathleen's political career. He aimed to do something foul and vile; something unimaginably wicked. He held a press conference on the dangers of marijuana use. The entire city council, as well as many state legislators, were mandated to attend. This was an unfortunate choice.

As 99% of Arizona's elected officials gathered in the Arizona State Capitol, something rotten happened; that being a Combine Missile Strike, expertly timed by General Grievous' Land-Interception Gradient Missile Airbeam (LIGMA) system. This was horrendous for most of Arizona, but temporarily great for Kathleen. She was the highest ranking politician to survive the attack, and was thusly inaugerated as Governor of Arizona. This was grand. She was the first Vietnamese-American Woman to serve in this office in Arizona.

Mummy Displeasures

Mummy, then Board of Waifuria Chairman was displeased. Mummy had quite liked 'Poop' Doug and had quite a bra