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Keith Cumshoes was born on July 4th, 200 B.B. (Before BA$EDGOD), in a small farmhouse in New York. He was born to his Mother, [[6]], and his father, The [[G- Man]] (Both were able to reproduce via their own metaphysical terrestrial-acceptable manifestations). The couple raised him with traditional, Christian values, which he went on to disavow. | Keith Cumshoes was born on July 4th, 200 B.B. (Before BA$EDGOD), in a small farmhouse in New York. He was born to his Mother, [[6]], and his father, The [[G- Man]] (Both were able to reproduce via their own metaphysical terrestrial-acceptable manifestations). The couple raised him with traditional, Christian values, which he went on to disavow. | ||
He attended [[West Valley Central School]], and had a close friend, [[Gerald H.|Gerald H]], until a horrendous accident rendered Keith friendless. | He attended [[West Valley Central School]], and had a close friend, [[Gerald H.|Gerald H]], until a horrendous accident rendered Keith friendless. | ||
In his later years at West Valley Central School, Keith was known to preach moderate conservatism, centrism, atheism, and aneurysm. His interests in these subjects are generally assumed to have been based on his kindergarten education, although nobody is quite sure. The archives are incomplete on the subject of Keith Cumshoes' childhood; as whenever he was asked about his past, he screamed supersonically and his ears temporarily detached from his head. | In his later years at West Valley Central School, Keith was known to preach moderate conservatism, centrism, atheism, and aneurysm. His interests in these subjects are generally assumed to have been based on his kindergarten education, although nobody is quite sure. | ||
The archives are incomplete on the subject of Keith Cumshoes' childhood; as whenever he was asked about his past, he screamed supersonically and his ears temporarily detached from his head. This was theorized to have been linked to horrendous trauma sustained during [[G- Man|G-Man]]'s execution of [[Gerald H.]] (Which Keith witnessed firsthand). | |||
== Teen Years == | == Teen Years == | ||
Revision as of 04:44, 6 November 2022
Keith Cumshoes
| Keith Cumshoes | |
|---|---|
| File:Keith Cumshoes | |
| Aliases | Keith,
Sir Cumsalot, Sir Chungus, Chungles Mr. Cumshoes (Referred to by Gman), |
| Relatives | 6 (Mother)
Alduin (Brother) Richard Nixon (Son) |
| Affiliation | M.T.O Cadets
M.T.O Veterans Rick Hernia's Cum Cult |
| Occupation | M.T.O Foot Soldier Musician |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Jezebel (Divorced) |
| Date of birth | July 4th 200 B.B. |
| Place of birth | The North Western Rice Fields (aka. Alaska) |
| Date of death | 44,332 |
| Place of death | Memphis, Tennessee |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Groot |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 12' 3" |
| Weight | 8000 lbs |
| Eye color | Black |
| Appearances | |
| Appears in | 4 Times,
4 Times (Remastered), BA$EDGOD, Click Bitch, G@NG $H!T 2, Joe Biden's Birthing Suite, BA$ED FREESTYLE SYMPHONY NO. 002 IN A MINOR, Shrek 2, Santa Cock's Steamy Festive Freestyle, I Know Joe |
| Debut | 4 Times |
Keith Cumshoes was a bizarre entity comprised of blue wood and with skin that resembled an expensive suit. He was a member of the ancient Scott Morrison clan, as well as a musical artist and major player in the Glue Factory Incident.
Early Life
Keith Cumshoes was born on July 4th, 200 B.B. (Before BA$EDGOD), in a small farmhouse in New York. He was born to his Mother, 6, and his father, The G- Man (Both were able to reproduce via their own metaphysical terrestrial-acceptable manifestations). The couple raised him with traditional, Christian values, which he went on to disavow.
He attended West Valley Central School, and had a close friend, Gerald H, until a horrendous accident rendered Keith friendless.
In his later years at West Valley Central School, Keith was known to preach moderate conservatism, centrism, atheism, and aneurysm. His interests in these subjects are generally assumed to have been based on his kindergarten education, although nobody is quite sure.
The archives are incomplete on the subject of Keith Cumshoes' childhood; as whenever he was asked about his past, he screamed supersonically and his ears temporarily detached from his head. This was theorized to have been linked to horrendous trauma sustained during G-Man's execution of Gerald H. (Which Keith witnessed firsthand).
Teen Years
As a teenager, Keith became slowly aware of his incredible potential for speed and agility. He also discovered his higher-than-normal count of white blood cells, enabling him to be invincible to all viral infections and diseases. He also became fascinated with space travel; he had an affair with a Vortigaunt named Jezebel, with whom he fathered 4,996,543 x 10^4 offspring. All became deceased at Jezebel's residence in Ohio, during the Bombing of Columbus.
Death
Keith Cumshoes was decapitated and killed by Director Phobos in the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid, during an attempt by he and Rick to stop the murder of Joe Biden.
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Artists Depiction Of Keith Cumshoes -
Keith Cumshoes Discharged With Non Life Threatening Injuries -
A Constipated Keith Cumshoes -
Keith Cumshoes School Photo (185 B.B.)
