Uranian Rebellion: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 09:46, 5 April 2024

The Uranian Rebellion was a 999,989 AB uprising of the Uranian Gas Corporation and Urano-Neptunian Government, the Commonwealth of Uranian Municipalities, against the dictatorial rule of the OmniStar Corporation Incarnate Corporatus.

Uranian Incursion

The Third Great META War was 30 years in with no signs of stopping. As the Waifurian Enclave wrought rot across the Omniverse, and as stars fizzled out and solar systems crumbled, Supreme Enclavical Overlord Joe Biden, reinvigorated with the wicked energies of the Aubergine, sought to bring about the Waifurian Empire once again. Many forces had aligned against this cause; in fact, nearly the entire Omniverse, apart from corrupt soulless sellouts, united to fight against the resurging rot that once had been.

One aforementioned corporate sellout was the mayor of Ourana, Uranus; Jishi Ravelle, whose tenure in the position was fast approaching 900,000 years, an unprecedented length of time to rule a territory.

Over this period of time, Jishi herself had made many connections across the Omniverse, shaking hands and posing for photo ops with all sorts of rogue capitalist freaks. She sold the Uranian gas to whoeever would buy it- no questions asked- including, with the onset of GMW3, the Enclave. These transfers were tax-exempt under rotten Milky-Andromedan fuel laws.

After the purchasing of the Sol System by OmniStar founder R.R.R.R. in 999,941 AB, Jishi had quite pathetically resigned herself to being a puppet dog of OmniStar; and, following R.R.R.R's unfortunate dissapearance on Exegar, obeyed the sentient incarnation of the intergalactic gigaconglomerate, which had deemed itself Corporatus.

Under new Management

The people of Uranus had, over 40,000 fucking generations, grown somewhat weary of the roten behavior of their matriarch. This all came to a head with the Uranian Decommissioning Announcement of 999,988 AB, in which Corporatus announced all citizens of Uranus would be relocated to the core world Zerrion, and the planet would be used as a massive battery to fuel the Enclave's war efforts. Jishi did not protest this, deeply angering her citizens. The mayor's approval rating hit a dismally low .2%.

Corporatus justified the expatriation of Uranus by citing Zerrion as the ancestral homeland of many Uranians; however, most residents of Ourana had never fucking stepped foot on the Zerri homeworld due to draconian anti-emigration measures instituted by OmniStar upon their purchasing of the system.

And so, in 999,989 AB, for the first time in Omniversal History, Jishi Ravelle faced an opponent in the election- endorsed, humiliatingly to her, by the Uranian Gas Company (still privately owned by a certain 'Leosis Trust Fund', much to the chagrin of Corporatus). The Uranian Gas Company's CEO, one Mr. Hunter Biden, announced his candidacy on June 3, 999,989, and deposed the Mayor in a landslide the following week.

Corporatusian Rage

Corporatus declared this election illegitimate and ordered Hunter Biden surrender to the authorities immediately. Mr. Biden, with the backing of the populations of Uranus and Neptune, declined; in fact, he rebuked Corporatus and declared independence from the OmniStar Union.

Mysteriously, several Enclave Planetscourge starships just happened to find their way into the Sol System soon after Hunter's declaration.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 [[File:A fire spreads.jpg|thumb|A fire spreads across the lower levels of [[Ourana]]'s South Precinct. ]]
-The Uranian Rebellion was a 999,989 AB uprising of the [[Uranian Gas Corporation]] and [[Uranus|Urano]]-[[Neptune|Neptunian]] Government, the [[Commonwealth of Uranian Municipalities]], against the rule of the [[OmniStar Corporation]] Incarnate [[Corporatus]].
+The Uranian Rebellion was a 999,989 AB uprising of the [[Uranian Gas Corporation]] and [[Uranus|Urano]]-[[Neptune|Neptunian]] Government, the [[Commonwealth of Uranian Municipalities]], against the dictatorial rule of the [[OmniStar Corporation]] Incarnate [[Corporatus]].
 [[File:Biden incident.jpg|thumb|The Rotter was haggard and foul. ]]
@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 The [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|Third Great META War]] was 30 years in with no signs of stopping. As the Waifurian [[The Enclave|Enclave]] wrought rot across the Omniverse, and as stars fizzled out and solar systems crumbled,  Supreme Enclavical Overlord [[Joe Biden]], reinvigorated with the wicked energies of the [[Aubergine]],  sought to bring about the [[Waifurian Empire]] once again. Many forces had aligned against this cause; in fact, nearly the entire Omniverse, apart from corrupt soulless sellouts, united to fight against the resurging rot that once had been.
-One aforementioned corporate sellout was the mayor of [[Ourana]], Uranus; [[Jishi Ravelle]], whose tenure in the position was fast approaching 900,000 years, an unprecedented length of time to rule a colony.
+One aforementioned corporate sellout was the mayor of [[Ourana]], Uranus; [[Jishi Ravelle]], whose tenure in the position was fast approaching 900,000 years, an unprecedented length of time to rule a territory.
-Over this period of time, Jishi herself had made many connections across the Omniverse, shaking hands and posing for photo ops with all sorts of rogue capitalist freaks.
+Over this period of time, Jishi herself had made many connections across the Omniverse, shaking hands and posing for photo ops with all sorts of rogue capitalist freaks. She sold the Uranian gas to whoeever would buy it- no questions asked- including, with the onset of [[Great META War 3 (The Grand War)|GMW3]], the [[The Enclave|Enclave]].  These transfers were tax-exempt under rotten Milky-Andromedan fuel laws.
 After the purchasing of the [[Sol (The Sun)|Sol]] System by OmniStar founder [[R. R. R. R.|R.R.R.R.]] in 999,941 AB, [[Jishi Ravelle|Jishi]] had quite pathetically resigned herself to being a puppet dog of OmniStar; and, following R.R.R.R's unfortunate dissapearance on [[Exegol|Exegar]], obeyed the sentient incarnation of the intergalactic gigaconglomerate, which had deemed itself [[Corporatus]].
+== Under new Management ==
+The people of Uranus had, over 40,000 fucking generations, grown somewhat weary of the roten behavior of their matriarch. This all came to a head with the Uranian Decommissioning Announcement of 999,988 AB, in which [[Corporatus]] announced all citizens of [[Uranus]] would be relocated to the core world [[Zerrion]], and the planet would be used as a massive battery to fuel the Enclave's war efforts.  Jishi did not protest this, deeply angering her citizens. The mayor's approval rating hit a dismally low .2%.
+[[Corporatus]] justified the expatriation of Uranus by citing [[Zerrion]] as the ancestral homeland of many Uranians; however, most residents of [[Ourana]] had never fucking stepped foot on the Zerri homeworld due to draconian anti-emigration measures instituted by OmniStar upon their purchasing of the system.
+And so, in 999,989 AB, for the first time in Omniversal History, Jishi Ravelle faced an opponent in the election- endorsed, humiliatingly to her, by the [[Uranian Gas Corporation|Uranian Gas Company]] (still privately owned by a certain '[[Leosis]] Trust Fund', much to the chagrin of [[Corporatus]]). The Uranian Gas Company's CEO, one Mr. [[Hunter Biden]], announced his candidacy on June 3, 999,989, and deposed the Mayor in a landslide the following week.
+== Corporatusian Rage ==
+Corporatus declared this election illegitimate and ordered Hunter Biden surrender to the authorities immediately. Mr. Biden, with the backing of the populations of [[Uranus]] and [[Neptune]], declined; in fact, he rebuked Corporatus and declared independence from the OmniStar Union.
+Mysteriously, several Enclave Planetscourge starships just happened to find their way into the Sol System soon after Hunter's declaration.
 [[Category:Events]]