Book of MAGA

MAGA!

Not to Be Confused with the MAGAZYNE, on which the Book of MAGA was not based.

The Book of MAGA was a religious text which was not based on the mystical Mercurian Magarrish-Soul-Fregmentation known as the MAGAZYNE. During the latter years of Aeterna, the Book of MAGA developed a grand religious following which eventually led to the founding of a new religion; this being Magaism.

Pre-Book Days

In 244 BB, the United States of America declared a Grand Secessionarium from their colonial Overlords; the then-significant Grand British Empire. The colonies, under the direction of Founding Father Benjamin Frunklin, began operating as their own independent entity, finally free from the tyranniums of King George XLMMMDCLIII. The United States developed a prosperous trade network with the all-powerful Aeternian Empire to the west and north.

This trade relation was Grand for approximately four years. However, in 240 BB, an Unknown Event led to the voluntary hibernation and exodus of Great Grand MAGA Overlord Donald J. Trump into of a large mountain in the Rockies. This mountain would later be known as the Supervolcanic Waifurium.

Genesis

Donald J. Trump's dissapearance was of great concern to the people and humash of North America, especially following the gruesome sundering of his Vice Emperor Mike Pence. With both leaders deposed, the line of succession fell now to the Aeternian Scrotum-Lord. The loss of Aeterna's billeniums-long ruler Trump was a great factorium indeed. The Americans were displeased with the loss of this valuable trading partner, as this greatly disrupted their horse-and-buggy supply chains. Without his Great Godly Gloriousness at the helm, many people in Aeterna became severely depressed and mentally ill in their heads, due to the lack of Magarrishnessosity in their lives.

After the public impalement of Vice Emperor Mike Pence on the Washington Monument, the Aeternian Scrotum-Lord felt it appropriate to hold a state funeral in his honer. This funeral consisted of a single, half-melted candle, a rotted wooden coffin, and a miniature toy goose. These items were all burned publicly outside of Trump Tower, with the Aeternian Scrotum-Lord humming a Pangean chant as they dissipated. This funeral was poorly reviewed by the public, only receiving an average rating of 2.4 stars out of five. Morale reached an all-time low, with Aeternian faith in their government reaching a pathetic 92% approval rating (The usual 100%, it's safe to say, could never return without his Magarrishness himself).

The Aeternian Imperial Army, seeing the horrific state of their... well, state, frantically searched their countryside for Donald J. Trump. The searched from the far-north of what would become Canada to the far south of what would later become Combine-Occupied City 9. However, their many searches turned up nothing. Nothing, that is, except

Thus, crop output reached an all-time low, and relations between the two nations soured, deeply.