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Babylon

From The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki
Revision as of 01:21, 20 September 2023 by w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Fabafaba32
Babel

Babylon was an ancient city ruled by the Immortal Hammurabi nestled quaintly in the province of Shinar, within Mesopotamia. Located entirely in a towering, monstrous building (known colloquially as the Stiff of Arabia) the city housed over 200,000,000,000 individuals at its height and was a major global hegemon in the East from roughly 8,000 BB to 2,000 BB.

Origin

Babylon was first constructed by real estate tycoon Hammurabi, whose blood ran thick by the pond of Legume. The earliest records detailing Babylon hail from 7,991 BB, in which Mesopotamian scholar Mah Ra Huck detailed the construction of a 'long circle' in the middle of the Earth's most fertile plain. Writes Mah Ra Huck;

"First, came the laymen; o, pitied filth were they-- the sun beat red upon their backs and their muscles bulged in anguish. Soon, though, came Hammurabi; their ruler and magistrate-- who bequeathed upon these workers a generous wage of $7.25 an hour-- and next, he gave unto them machines and tools with which to assist construction; not out of the goodness of his heart, no - but for the expedition of his personal interests. Hammurabi lent upon these laymen great yellow beasts of machine and steel (cranes), and instructed them n the magicks of rolling demons (steamrollers). And finally, when the first four stories of Babylon had been constructed, Hammurabi called unto his workforce and said this now- "Drink, ye slaves of Pangea- drink now from this special pond! For ye may be blessed then with the souls of the world, and ye may finally rest in peace." "

As Mah Ra Huck writes, the 'water' provided by Hammurabi was below the Mesopotamian Health Bureau's reccomended standard; as such, 95% of the workforce soon died of dysentery on the job. Their bodies were buried in the walls of Babylon, and construction continued swimmingly.

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