The 60000 lb Diaries with Dr. Now

A somewhat insensitive advertisement used by the program in 6 AB, depicting Dr. Now standing on a ring of disgusting food, and with one of the Dr.'s Patients (Michael Rubescone) depicted as a planet. While several patients did reach nearly 60,000 lbs (with the maximum weight approaching 57,652 lbs), none were ever massive enough to coalesce their own gravitational field nor exit low-Earth orbit, much less gain rings. However, Dr. Now was said to have personally requested the advertisement design, hoping it would discourage unhealthy weight gain and eating habits. it did not.

The 60,000 Pound Diaries with Dr. Now was a sequel series to the critically acclaimed, Emmy, Grammy, and Webby winner series 'My 6000-Life', which Now starred in. The sequel series was commissioned by Now to highlight the growing issue of extremely-super-morbid obesity in the North American Overlorddom. Despite over 80,000 successful surgeries over the 13+ year run of his previous program, Now had identified that new patients first entering the office were becoming heavier and heavier... and heavier.

Origins

Now's idea for the 60000-lb diaries sprung from an experience with a patient during the last season of 'My 6000-lb Life'. In 5 A.B, Now experienced a mental health crisis after witnessing his first 6,000 lb+ patient - a 10'5" humash named 'Michael Rubescone' - who required two construction cranes and a bulldozer in order to be placed onto the scale- weigh in at 17,002 lbs. At this weight, Michael's limbs were incapable of moving because of the swelling and lard pumping through his body. He had acquired lymphedema on every extremity except for his fingers, granting him dangerous rashes and growths across his body. "Do you know you can exist for 4 years without eating another food?" Dr. Now had asked Michael, astonishedly, "That is, if your heart was not rotted, which it is." Michael was informed that because of his advanced weight, he would not qualify for any surgery; Dr. Now placed him on a 0-calorie diet, informing him that just a few thousand more calories could cause Michael to burst like a balloon. He instructed Michael not to eat for 5 months, and to return to the hospital once he had done so for another weigh in.

Sea Gull Diet

Michael did not heed Now's warning. While being transported via tractor trailer 2x away from the Hospital, Michael's fingers grasped at a seagull which had landed on his great nipple. He excised tremendous energy to reach the seagull, and indeed did, shoving the entire bird into his mouth. This caused his wieght to be shifted all the way to the right, causing both tractor trailers to careen off of the road, roll upside down into a ditch, and killed both truck drivers instantly in fire. Michael, however, survived. However, the skin was burned from his arms and he earned serious, debilitating burns. He lay there in the ditch for several days as first responders pondered how to rescue him. Ultimately, they decided, there was no safe way to relocate Michael, without permamently damaging or blocking highway infrastructure, and thusly a temporary structure was constructed around Michael in order to protect him from the elements.

Dr. Now, inspired by the severity of Michael's injury, launched his new program; 'The 60,000-lb diaries with Dr. Now.' This program sought to identify the most morbidly obese individuals on Earth (and eventually, across the Milky Way) and help them to lose their weight. Dr. Now's first patient on this new program, of course, was Michael Rubescone.

Episode List

Below, an abridged episode list from across the series, with brief summaries of each episode. Unfortunately, the episodes themselves are lost.

S1E1

Rubescone, despite his immobility and location in a sandy ditch in the desert, seems to be gaining weight. Dr. Now investigates as Rubescone approaches 8000 lbs.