The San Andreas Incident

Keith standing outside of Los Angeles

Description:

The San Andreas Incident was a catastrophic event on Earth 2 that occurred in 555,550 AB.

A Sunrise Over LA:

Keith Cumshoes awoke to the usual sight of Earth 2’s morning skies that had become commonplace for the past few millennia: A very dense layer of thick smog only barely penetrated by the sun’s rays, the only natural light source left as the stars had been rendered invisible by light pollution around 35,000 A.B. Keith sat up in his bed, staring outside the window at the holoboards welded onto just about every building in the city of Los Angeles. He sat in silence for a moment, quietly thinking to himself. Firstly about Jezebel, his once-loved now long since passed. It had been quite some time since he had last thought about her, mostly on account of the fact she had inadvertently murdered all of their children via Nuclear Pumpkin for which he had divorced her. Still, the way she died had not been a pleasant way to go. “As if there were such a thing,” Keith thought to himself as he finally stood up. As he dressed himself, one of the holoboards displayed something that caught his attention. “Join the M.T.O. today!” it read. Instantly, Keith’s thoughts turned to Rick Hernia. He hadn’t seen Rick in years. Rick left Earth not long after the Second Great Meta War, and in the days leading up to his departure Keith could tell something had changed about him. Keith knew something had happened in Memphis, something involving Director Phovus and a coup attempt. Rick had entered the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid that night, and Phovus was found dead mere hours later. Whatever had happened between those two, it shook up Rick enough that he never told anyone about it, not even Keith. Keith stepped out onto the balcony of his apartment, lit a joint, and took a puff. He hated Los Angeles, but he didn’t really have anywhere else to go. Syndor City had been his home for a very long time but after that damn documentary he had basically been run out by the citizenry so that wasn’t an option any more. Thoughts of Rick were still swirling in his mind, the memory of his departure becoming clearer. Rick had made Keith promise to him that he would stay here, to protect Earth. Yeah right, Keith thought to himself, like he was ever capable of that. As much as he wanted, he couldn’t exactly stroll into Memphis and pour a glass of water over President Eden’s motherboard without getting turned into shavings. Waifuria had changed a bit since the fall of the Empire, although not much. Going by the “Waifurian Republic” now, and headed by President Heinrich Eden who was the sole member of the Board of Waifuria not to have fled or opted for suicide during the invasion by Worlds Without Boundaries. The Republic was far smaller, containing the Sol System, Barnard’s Star, and Alpha Centauri. Sirius had once been part of the Republic but won their independence in a peace deal between WWB and the Waifurian Republic in which the Republic won the ability to rearm, albeit still under “close watch” from WWB which didn’t mean much. Other than that, things had largely stayed the same. Eden’s rule was unchallenged as presidential elections had remained banned, but local and provincial figures could still be elected. “Regulated Autonomy” they called it. Keith however, preferred to call it bullshit. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the door to his apartment being knocked down, to which he spun around just in time to catch a flashbang to the face.

The Waifurian Gambit:

Keith felt himself be pushed down onto his knees and cuffed. As his vision and hearing returned, the shape of several men in all black military gear came into view, their rifles trained on him. One figure stood out however, one who seemed dressed more so like an officer of some sort rather than a ground troop. “Greetings, Mr. Cumshoes.” The man spoke calmly in a very noticeable Russian accent. Still dazed, Keith struggled to see who was in front of him. “I am Commander Volkov.” Keith recognized the name. Volkov had been involved in combating insurgent groups on Yoonir in the Sirius system until the peace deal with WWB had been made. His senses regained, Keith “Care to explain why you broke down my door? Veteran’s salary doesn’t exactly pay well enough to have that fixed anytime soon.” “I have sought you out for a very… particular reason, Mr. Cumshoes.” “Look, I’ve always hated the monologue schtick. Get to the point.” “Very well. The Waifurian Republic has requested your assistance, Mr. Cumshoes.” “What makes you think I would ever willingly work with you?” “Simple, Mr. Cumshoes. You cooperate, and we give you the location of your father.” Keith froze when the words left Volkov’s mouth. Keith hadn’t seen his father since… since Albuquerque. “I can see what we offer is of interest to you, Mr. Cumshoes.” “What is it you need done?” Keith inquired. Despite his grievances, this wasn’t an opportunity he could pass up. “We have had reports of unusually strong seismic activity originating from a point just below San Francisco. Given that the San Andreas fault line runs under the city, you can see why this would present a potential problem.” “So, what, you just want me to go look at it?” “In a sense. You see, the frequencies detected underneath the city closely align with that of the long-defunct Undernode used by the Tesla Hivemind long ago to form the Teslazord. Given Tesla’s incorporation into JF Sweet’s after Mr. Tusk’s unfortunate demise, if the Undernode is still operational, then the entire planet’s technology could be at risk of being compromised. Surely, you understand why this is an unacceptable security risk, and given your service record, you are the most qualified person on the planet to tackle this threat.” “And you said you have my father’s location?” “Correct, Mr. Cumshoes.” Keith ruminated on the situation for a moment. He certainly never wanted to work for Waifuria ever again, but his father… he wasn’t sure if he wanted to kill his father or just ask him why he had done all that he did. Conflict grew ever deeper in Keith’s mind, unsure of what he should do. It was then he remembered what he had promised Rick. That he would protect this planet. As reprehensible as Waifuria was, the damage any remaining AI within the Undernode could do would certainly be worse. His gaze met Volkov’s. “Alright. I’ll do it.” “Wonderful. You will have a transport waiting for you in the morning. Oh, and I will personally pay for your replacement door.” Volkov ordered for Keith to be uncuffed, and he and his troops exited the apartment complex. Regaining his footing, Keith stumbled to his closet, grabbing something wrapped in a cloth. Keith unwrapped the object, revealing his old starmetal katana which he had held onto all this time. He took the sword, watching the light from the holoboards gleam off its blade. He had promised Rick he would protect the Earth, and now he would do exactly that.

Beneath the Golden Gates:

Keith’s trip to San Francisco did not last a particularly long time, given the advancements in tech made over the past few hundred thousand years. Once he was in the city, he was met by MTO troops who gave him a new set of MTO gear. He, along with two other soldiers, made their way to the site of where the Golden Gate Bridge once lay, now replaced with the Golden Gate Memorial commemorating those who lost their lives in the Tesla Takeover of 3 AB. “Is this the spot?” Keith asked, turning his attention to one of the soldiers next to him. “Affirmative, sir. This is the source of the tremors. I reckon you’ll be needing this.” The soldier handed him an EMF detection device to help him find the Undernode, as it communicated to each individual Tesla unit that way. Keith stepped onto the railing surrounding the San Francisco Bay, preparing to jump. “Godspeed, sir.” one of the soldiers said to Keith, as he jumped into the bay. The Low-Vis Environment Heavy Lights (commonly shortened as LVEHL and pronounced as “level” by frontline troops) on the MTO suits made underwater navigation incredibly easy for Keith. He scanned the seabed as he walked along it, searching for anything that could hint to a means of accessing the Undernode. Eventually, he came across the ruins of the Golden Gate Bridge itself, both halves of the Teslazord included. Very little was recognizable, the elements had certainly taken their toll. Keith climbed into the wreckage of the Teslazord, figuring Tesla technology might help him locate the Undernode quicker. He tore an entrance into the upper half of the Teslazord, making his way further up the body as he figured the control center was somewhere in the head. After a few hours of tearing his way through the ruins of the mechanical giant, he finally located the control center, damaged, but tucked away in a part of the mech where it was left in an air pocket. Keith examined the scene. All of the electronics had since lost power. Something caught his attention, however. A strange wire extended down from the ceiling but whatever it had been plugged into was gone. Along the floor there was an inky black substance in a trail leading to a set of emergency escape pods. Keith examined them, and using his suit’s built-in jack he bypassed the security lock and entered one of the pods. The escape pod offered several locations to travel to including cities all over the globe. There was one location that intrigued him, though. Listed as “The Tuskcave.” Given the oddity of the name, Keith was certain this was the location of the Undernode. He input the Tuskcave as his selected location and the escape pod jettisoned from the Teslazord and began tunneling into the ground.

Elon's Emporium of Exploited Enterprises:

The escape pod slammed into the roof of Tuskcave and burrowed through, landing on the floor of the facility. Keith, although a bit motion sick from the landing, exited the pod. He was in some kind of facility, albeit clearly run down from the millenniums of neglect. Moss and vines grew from the ceiling, and the metal of the walls and floor was cracked with plant life even settling in them. Keith pulled out the EMF reader, finding which direction emitted the strongest signal and made his way there. Eventually, he came across a massive room, with a viewing station across from him positioned far above the ground. Below it, a massive metal sphere labeled “Undernode” sat. Keith had finally found it. All he had to do now was destroy it. He raised his starmetal katana above his head, and swung down. Instantly, Keith was thrown far back into the room. The entrance he had come in through was now being sealed by blast doors, and the observation room lowered itself. Two massive screens in the room suddenly lit up, a glass tube filled with some kind of liquid and a head within it was visible. The tube slowly turned around, revealing the disembodied head of Elon Tusk. Keith was shocked, Tusk had died eons ago, how could he still be alive? “Keith Cumshoes, in the flesh. I have to say I’m surprised you’re doing Waifuria’s dirty work again.” “How- how the hell are you alive?” “Great question. You see, I wasn’t content to just die there in the San Francisco Bay all those years back. I had far greater ambitions than mere revenge.” “What is it you want? And why did you reactivate the Undernode?” “What do I want? Oh no, Keith you’ve got it all wrong. It’s all about what he wants. Given, I have my own vested interests in the plan, but still. As for the Undernode, I’m afraid that’s going to have to remain my little secret.” “Who is it you’re working for?” “Let’s just say, an old friend of ours.” “You need to shut down the Undernode, Elon. You’re putting the entire Earth at risk!” “Oh, why’s that? Because I could infiltrate every piece of technology those bastards over at JF Sweet’s stole from me? I already have. I’ve watched every minute of your life since I got in, as I have with everyone else.” A million thoughts ran through Keith’s mind. Mostly about the Earth, but mainly his promise to Rick. He couldn’t let Tusk, or whoever he was working for, get away with this. “Elon, listen to me. I have to stop this, for the sake of the planet.” “Is it really that, though? Or was it because they offered you your father?” “This isn’t about him, I’ll deal with him when the time calls for it. Where’s the Governor? His body wasn’t on the mech.” “I was hoping you’d ask about that. You see, his energy cores gave me all the power I needed to keep this place functioning for the past however many years it’s been, I lost count ages ago. As for his body, heh, well, I think you’ll like what I cooked up.” Just then, a hatch opened up from the ceiling and down from it dropped a mechanical replica of Keith himself. Keith stared in horror at the machine doppelganger before him. “I had to make a few upgrades here and there, given the explosion. But I think you’ll find him more than a match for you. Metal Keith, engage!” Just then, the robot’s eyes ignited into a crimson red. Its gaze met Keith’s as he drew his katana and readied himself. “[Scanning target lifeform...] [Identity confirmed: Keith Cumshoes.] [Beginning extermination protocol...]”

Metallic Madness:

The machine launched itself at Keith, who sidestepped the attack. Metal Keith almost immediately recovers, taking Keith off guard. He narrowly brought his katana up in time to protect himself from Metal Keith’s claw-like fingertips. It took all of his strength to keep the machine at bay, the sound of its claws scraping against the starmetal sending a shiver down Keith’s spine. Suddenly, Keith’s legs are sweeped by the machine, who takes the advantage to impale Keith on its fingers. Keith screams in pain, only for the machine to activate its jets, slamming Keith into a nearby wall and dragging him across it at incredible speeds, injuring him greatly. The machine retracts its claws while spinning its torso at a rapid pace, throwing Keith across the room. Keith only barely manages to roll away to dodge a follow-up punch aimed directly at where his head was, denting the floor. Metal Keith’s head immediately snaps to Keith, boosting towards him and grabbing him by the neck followed by slamming him into another wall with a stomp to his chest. Keith gets the wind knocked out of him and as he is recovering, a red glow begins to emanate from Metal Keith’s left arm, a cannon has formed and is aimed directly at his head. “[Keith Cumshoes termination commencing...]” In this moment, Keith remembers an incident he had with General Grievous where the cyborg general sliced one of his arms, followed by an immense wave of energy that was released from Keith’s severed arm that nearly ended the Kaleesh war criminal. Keith simply stares at the machine, waiting for the right moment. The light grows ever brighter, the energy building up. Keith recognized this technology, the Charge Laser given to MTO troops used a similar firing mechanism. Assuming these were of similar make, it should be any second now. Suddenly, Keith shoved his arm into the barrel of the arm cannon. Metal Keith fought desperately to remove his organic counterpart from the arm cannon, but made little progress before it fired, creating an enormous explosion. When the dust settled, organic and machine alike were missing arms. The difference being, now Keith had an arm cannon of sorts for himself now. He could feel the energy beginning to well within his wound, but he couldn’t hold it for very long. He had to make sure to make the most of it or else he may not survive. Grabbing Metal Keith’s attention, he lured the machine into a position where the Undernode was directly behind it. The second Keith was sure the blast would hit both, he released the energy within his arm, flinging Metal Keith into the force field surrounding the Undernode, almost crushing the machine between the two forces. Keith’s vision dimmed, and he collapsed to the ground. When he awoke a short time later, the Undernode was obliterated. Metal Keith and Elon Tusk were both nowhere to be seen, and the base was set to self-destruct. Keith made his way to the observation room, figuring that if Elon had left behind a second escape pod in the Teslazord, he may have one within this base as well. Keith’s hypothesis proved true, and he directed the pod to Los Angeles.

The Way Home:

Keith had passed out on the trip there, and when he awoke he found Los Angeles in absolute ruin. Unbeknownst to him, the destruction of the Undernode set off an explosion so large it decimated San Francisco and had disrupted the San Andreas fault line, separating it from the mainland US. When he exited the pod, it didn’t take long for MTO troops to detain him. One of the troops knocked him out, and while Keith was slipping in and out of consciousness, he heard one of them mention they were to take him to Alcatraz Prime, the floating superprison in orbit around the Sun. With what little of his consciousness he had left, Keith knew two things. He had to find his father, and more importantly, he had to find Rick.