Savant Nosedive

Savant Nosedive was a chronically online video game enthusiast, animal rights activist, and, more importantly, drug mule for the Colorado Drug Cartel (an acolyte of Cucumber Joe's) residing in Nebraska City, Kansas. Following the explosion of Cucumber Joe under suspicious circumstances in 17 AB, Savant, as the primary Land Operations Executive, was the highest ranking Colorado Drug Cartel Member alive. He thusly assumed responsibility of managing both maritime and land-based Drug Cartel operations.

Seeking Advice from the Source

Savant, upon assuming the position, immediately went on a nature excursion with his wife and children to former Colorado Drug Cartel Boss Pando (the predecessor of Cucumber Joe). Savant had always secretly sought the knowledge of Pando. However, Cucumber Joe had strictly forbade Savant, and indeed all employees, from ever contacting the former Boss.

Now, With Joe out of the way, Savant made a beeline for the most knowledgeable and wisest drug lord west of the Mississippi - The family set up a campsite with a tent, grill, picnic table, and snackies along the shores of a beautiful river inside of Pando. When his family went to sleep, however, Savant Nosedive wandered out into the forest, took off his shoes, and got down on all fours, his fingers and toes sinking into the loamy soil of Pando. He slowed his breathing as much as he could, thinking of various forms of soaps and showerheads (something which made him feel faint). The mycellium network soon wrapped itself around his foot fungus, linking him up to the great roots of Pando. Here, the many lessons of narcotics manufacturing and distrubution, as well as rackateering expertise, of the great tree Pando, flowed their way into the mind of Savant Nosedive, whose expertise on these matters suddenly ballooned with thousands of years of knowledge.

Possession

Savant had not foreseen the true wickedness and cunning of this great tree, for Pando did not stop at simply sharing knowledge. Pando began pumping Savant full of tree sap, filling him with the essence of his twisted arborious mind. Soon, Savant's personality and interests were overridden by Pando, and he was effectively a drone of Pando the Quaking Aspen. This was a fact never discovered by anyone.

Gang Affiliations

Savant (under the control of Pando the Quaking Aspen) jumped into the family SUV and drove off into the night, leaving his wife and kids in the tent 100 miles from the nearest civilization. This family was never seen or heard from again. Savant drove far and wide, until the Sun shone high in the sky, driving to all the way to the great mountain city of Aspen, Colorado (aptly and deliberately named many years ago by Pando). Here, Savant tore off of the highway and towards a crumbling, condemned warehouse which had become overgrown with shrubs and bushes. The SUV smashed into the brick wall; Savant, unfazed departed his vehicle and entered the warehouse. He knocked on the door 3 times - thrice, as some might say, and it creaked open.

The Ancient Secret

Within this warehouse were mountains and mountains of narcotics; crates and boxes of cocaine, heroine, reveal candy, fentanyl, - even crystal meth was stored here. At the center of the room, a large, upside down cardboard box- big enough to fit a body into - sat bottom up. The lights in this room flickered auspiciously, yet Savant continued forward, his eyes aglow with Pando's sap and power.

Savant lifted up the box and discovered a disturbing sight. A frail, blackened body lay frozen in midair. Gnarled, deep red vines and roots climbed their way up and through this body. The eyes were pale and white, the mouth wide, the teeth orange and rotted. A voice emenated from the figure, beckoning Savant to come closer. He obliged. The figure outstretched its arms, grasping for Savant's shoulders. Under Pando's coersion, he grew closer, until the figures gnarled, skeletal hands wrapped all the way around him.

"It has been long so, since last I touched Young Flesh," the figure voiced, so weakly, and so slowly, a mortal might not have heard it, "I have toiled long in this box, in this body..." it gestured around with surprising vitality, "In this decommissioned warehouse."

"Lord..." Pando's voice, the rushing wind of 40000 trees, filled the room, leaves billowing from the mouth of Savant Nosedive, "Lord. Our Work May Continue."

The gnarled figure dragged its hand up to the top of Savant's head, cupping his skull like a ball. The figure was twice as tall as a human, yet lighter, and thinner. Now, it pressed its thumb and forefinger into Savant's skull, imbueing him with ancient, ancient, mysterious magicks - deep red energy throbbing through Savant's body and heart and soul. Now, Savant began to emit a faint glow.

"TO SERVE ME, SAVANT NOSEDIVE..." the figure's head snapped up, its voice screaming a deafening, booming roar, "YOU MUST SACRIFICE THE FRAILTY WITHIN YOU. YOU MUST SACRIFICE... YOUR HUMANITY."

Savant, mouth agape, stare blank.

"DO YOU ACCEPT THE END OF YOUR MORTALITY?" The body asked. Savant (or, more accurately, Pando) nodded.

The Sole Heir

A furious, red blaze took hold of Savant, singing his body hair, his skin. A tugging began from above, a tugging which threatened to tear the light - his soul - right out of him. And soon, it did, in one go, ripping the soul out and channelling it upwards in an arc, before it fell, back down, into the gaping mouth of the mysterious figure.

"VERY WELL, SAVANT..." the figure said, swallowing the soul and digesting it instantly, "YOU ARE STRONGER, NOW. I HAVE TAKEN YOUR WEAKNESS AND REPLACED IT WITH CONFIDENT. TAKEN YOUR TEMPTATION AND REPLACED IT WITH RESOLVE. TAKEN YOUR HUMANITY AND REPLACED IT WITH... WELL..." The figure paused, drumming a gnarled, frail finger on its chin (or trying its best to, with its limited mobility), "HUMASHITY."

"I exist to serve you, Lord," Declared Savant, eyes soullean, body dim, "We will bring this world back to its knees."

The figure, for the first time in many, many, many, many years, felt its gnarled, mummified, accursed dried lips bend upwards - if ever so slightly - into a smile.