Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)
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| Donald J. Trump | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | The Great MAGA King
|
| Affiliation | The Employers, People of Old Earth, People of New Earth |
| Occupation | God-Emperor of Earth (Former) |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Eternally Soul-Tethered to Vice Emperor Mike Pence |
| Date of birth | Unknown |
| Place of birth | The Outervoid |
| Date of death | 1 A.B. (Supposed) |
| Place of death | Glue Factory in Albuquerque, NM |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Human |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 14’6’ |
| Weight | 18,000,000,000,000,000 Kilograms |
| Eye color | Blue |
| Appearances | |
Biography
Donald Trump, the Great MAGA King, was an aeonic incarnate of Magarra under the service of the Employers. Magarra was created without any physical form, but was later given a body, The Great MAGA King, to act as the enforcer of The Employer’s will.
Birth
As an Aeon, Donald’s true date of “birth” was entirely unknown to anyone but the Employers.
Spawn into the Omniverse
When Donald was unleashed upon the Omniverse, his planet of spawn was Old Earth. Donald’s mission was to destroy the $5 Chalupa Box and bring an end to Taco Tuesday.
Unfortunately, Donald’s spawn date was roughly 5 months after the commencement of Taco Tuesday. Despite being later than the average drunkard father to his kid’s football game, the widespread death and famine, combined with the wretched odor of the diarrhea-filled undergarments of the inhabitants of Old Earth, enraged Donald. Donald approached one of the survivors, and despite the awful stench, was able to formulate a sentence, asking where the $5 Chalupa Box was.
The survivor, named Mike Pence, directed Donald to the $5 Chalupa Box which could be seen barely peaking over the horizon. As payment for his services, Donald magically cleansed Pence’s clothing and granted him a portion of his own power (Roughly 15% according to surviving records). Donald ordered Pence to travel across Old Earth, curing those suffering from depressingly-shat pantaloons. Pence acknowledged his task and set out into the barren hellscape that Pangea had become.
Slaying of the $5 Chalupa Box and Undoing of Taco Tuesday
Donald travelled for many months on foot to reach the $5 Chalupa Box, but after a long climb up the Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, he finally met face-to-box with the accursed obelisk of Bellian origin, it took him only two words to destroy it.
“You’re fired.” - Donald Trump
After the subatomic seperation of the $5 Chalupa Box, Donald asked of the people of Earth one favor. That favor was to bring Postal Dude, Duke Boris Zyklon of Breastland, and Richard M. Nixon the First before him so that they may face punishment. The people happily obliged and within 6 days all three perpetrators had been found. In the Grand Trial, all three had been found guilty and, upon taking three steps outside the makeshift courthouse (Honestly more of a degenerate sex shack than anything else), Postal Dude and Richard M. Nixon were told to speak their last words.
“Damn, here I was minding my own business, just enjoying my Second Amendment rights and you people have to freak out on me.” -
Postal Dude
“I'm innocent. You've got to believe I'm innocent. If you don't, take my life.” - Richard M. Nixon
Duke Boris however, fell to his knees before the God-Emperor, the other two having already met his Border Blade. This pathetic scene caused everyone, Donald included, to laugh at Boris like the dumbass he was. Donald chose to spare his life because he thought knowing Boris shit himself in fear every time Donald’s name was spoken was a suitable punishment for a man responsible for so many soiled undies. Boris later ran off into the forest and he is speculated to have gone mad from the public humiliation endured earlier.
After dealing penance to those responsible for Taco Tuesday, Donald circuited his power into the Bass Pros Pyramid, and promptly un-shit everyone’s pants worldwide. Afterwards, Donald used his power to sink the Bass Pros Shop Pyramid far underground so that no one may cause a Shittening-level event ever again.
Construction of Trump Tower and formation of Americana Aeterna
Donald used his immense power to build a massive civilization known as Americana Aeterna. He also fathered a child, Barron. (He was named after Baron Zyklon, as it remained one of the Great MAGA King’s fondest memories throughout his entire existence.) After construction of the tower had mostly finished, Donald spent most of his time incoherently tweeting about non-existent political issues, which he found funny.
Donald soon commissioned a gigantic tower, named Trump Tower, from which he could see all of Pangea. The tower took approximately 140,000,000,000,000,000 timefracture years to construct and accidents resulted in the deaths of about 13 billion. It was not completed until quadrillions of years after his 'death', but was fully functional within a year of its inception.
Destruction of Old Earth
Trump was heavily involved in the Destruction of Old Earth, being ordered by the Employers to annihilate the planet. After he destroyed it, he constructed a near identical (albeit 5 times as large) Earth 2. This expended much of Donald Trump's energy, and he entered a deep slumber for many years, awakening in 100 BB.
President
The MAGA King served as the final President of the United States of America from 3 B.B. until his death in 1 A.B.
Alleged Death
Trump was alleged to have died during the Glue Factory Incident in 1 A.B. however his remains were never found.
Notable Accomplishments
Unified humanity under one banner
slayed the leaders of Poland
Singlehandedly created Americana Aeterna
Oversaw the end of the Great META War in the United States
Established Diplomatic Ties with Ohio
End of Legume Arrangements (Undone by the Albuquerque Black Hole Cluster in 1 A.B.)