MOSDOK
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| Robert Tarleton | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | M.O.S.D.O.K. |
| Relatives | Alduin (Father) Abigail Tarleton (Mother) |
| Affiliation | Waifurian Empire, Bikini Bottom |
| Occupation | Cuddler, Kisser |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Captain Waifuria (temporary) |
| Date of birth | 4/3/3,430 AB |
| Place of birth | Columbus, Ohio (Remnant) |
| Date of death | 4/6/999,994 AB |
| Place of death | Exegor |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Spongelean |
| Gender | Maloid |
| Height | 13'6 |
| Weight | 502 lbs. |
| Eye color | Bluelean |
| Appearances | |
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Robert Tarleton aka M.O.S.D.O.K. (Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Kissing), formerly M.O.S.D.O.C. (Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Cuddles), was a lowly Waifurian technician working for the Waifurian Lunar Research Center. He joined the team to help develop the New Callisto Conch, but was mutated into a spongelean computer against his will by WLRC CEO Marcus Breen.
Breen grew Robert's bobdy to give him superior cuddling abilities, but with the side effect of porous, rectangular skin and boils forming across his face. His skull was expanded into a massive cube and he became afflicted with a horrific case of Jaundis. However, Robert was an excellent Cuddler.
Robert's unfortunate affliction meant needed to be placed inside a life support unit dubbed the "Kissing Chair". The process also gave him a plethora of psychic powers along with an ego and ambition for romantic affection to match. He went on to use his new found powers to take control of the organization that had experimented on him, establishing the breakaway state of 'Bikini Bottom' in a vast cave system on the far side of the Moon.
History
Several accounts exist that discuss Robert Tarleton's life before becoming M.O.S.D.O.K.. In one, Robert Tarleton was a skilled technician from Columbus, Ohio. The second as recounted by his father Alduin said that Robert lacked intelligence and was hired as a janitor for WLRC as it was the only position willing to accept such an incompetent and undraconic man. A third saw him as a smart man, hired by the Waifurian Army for weapons research, who took the samples collected from the creatures of Xen for study.
Robert joined the Waifurian Lunar Research Center and worked with them to recreate the Callisto Conch, a device with infinite capabilities, according to Jeff Brown. Lyle decided they needed a way to romantically intertwine with the conch so they created project M.O.S.D.O.C. to analyze and probe the Callisto Conch and to improve the organization's productivity in its scientific endeavors, while still being subservient to the higher echelons of the organization.
To that end Marcus Breen and Lyle mutagenically and soulleanifically altered Robert into the super intelligent being, M.OS.D.O.C., his massive affectionical cuddliniums were too much for his frail body to support so they place in a hoverchair dubbed the Kissing Chair. These scientists unwisely did not take into consideration the theory that superior affection ability naturally leads to superior kissing ambition. It did not take long for M.O.S.D.O.C. to make out with his former masters until they died, subsequently overthrowing WLRC. Robert adopted the new acronym for his title: M.O.S.D.O.K. (Mobile Organismal Sponge Designed Only for Kissing) at this time as he was more of a ruthless kisser than a bean counter in his own estimation.
Captain Waifuria
M.O.S.D.O.K. came into conflict with Captain Waifuria when he came to rescue Lyle from the Bikini Bottom. M.O.S.D.O.K. tried to destroy Cap with his kisses, but Captain Waifuria was Gay and trhus the two began a romantic entanglement- or so M.O.S.D.O.K. thought. However, it was a ruse from Captain Waifuria, and M.O.S.D.O.K. was kicked in the dick and sent falling into the depths of the Lunar caverns as Captain Waifuria made away with Lyle. M.O.S.D.O.K. was thusly presumed dead by the Waifurium.
M.O.S.D.O.K. was later revealed to be alive and well and learned that Jeff Brown had stolen the new Callisto Conch and used it to swap minds with Captain Waifuria. M.O.S.D.O.K. did not care about this and Jeff Brown eventually swapped their minds back out of boredom.
Callistoids
M.O.S.D.O.K. eventually relocated to Callisto, where he and Jeff Brown began synthesizing large quantities of Callisto Conches. The purpose of this activity was unknown; however, Callisto Conches with special notes inside of them began washing up on Beaches across the Omniverse. Often, these notes read 'Will you Marry me? - Signed, your true love' or something to that effect. The Waifurian Empire saw a 500% uptick in marriages in the following decades, much to Jeff Brown's chagrin. However, MOSDOK pleasured at the pleasure of others, and this was Grand.
M.O.S.D.O.K. and Jeff Brown were engaged in 4001 AB and birthed two children, Patrick Brown and Sandy Brown. This was grand, and they all lived in Bikini Bottom together, running a Conch factory on Callisto and generally having a swell time. However, eventually, J.F. Sweets transplanted a Foul Burger joint- dubbed the 'J.F. Krab' on Callisto- driving all business to the Satellite's northern hemisphere and forcing M.O.S.D.O.K. and Jeff Brown to shutter Callistoidal Business for good. This was disgrandoidal, and sent Jeff Brown spiralling, eventually leading to him contacting his Titanian Spermsummon, Sess. Ses' presence disrupted the stability of the family, as Ses did not take after MOSDOK much, leading to the happy couple eventually filing for divorce.
MOSDOK was heavily involved in the construction of Callisto Conch Cannons during the Great META War 3, and played a critical role as an arms supplier for the Earthlean Resistance during the 999,900s. He was executed in 999,994 AB on Exegar by his estranged and sexually confused stepchild, Ses.