Charl Marx
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| Charles Oiffogiette McLaughlin "Smicky" Marx | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | Charl Marx
Charlotte M. Whigg Tar Pit Eight Charlie M. Joberts |
| Relatives | Helen Blunt (Mother) Karl Marx (Father) |
| Affiliation | Communist Party of America
|
| Occupation | Philosopher
Writer Ballsack Inspectionary |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Sarah M. Schumacker (M. 143 BB-133 BB) |
| Date of birth | January 6, 159 BB |
| Place of birth | Atlanta, Georgia |
| Date of death | 121 BB |
| Place of death | Ig, Hawaii |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Human |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 6' 1 |
| Weight | 2 |
| Eye color | Black |
| Appearances | |
Charl Marx was a Georgian philosopher and cryptocurrency influencer. He was best known for his work in writing the 'Combine Manifesto', which decried the evils of the Capitalist Combine Empire, while encouraging the adoption of Socialist and Communist thinking into American society.
Kid Named Charl
Born and raised in the Georgian Territory of West Georgia in 159 BB, Charl adopted a radical leftist ideology early into his life. He was raised by his father, Karl Marx, after his mother perished suddenly in an unfortunate Combine Drone Strike Accident. As a toddler during the American Civil War, Charl was exposed to regular horrendous sights. One of the most gruesome of these was when he opened his front door to find a severed human head on his doorstep.
The constant exposure to bloodshed and violence led to Charl adopting a strict anti-war ideology, something which he brought with him to his first day of preschool at the age of four. His teacher, Mrs. White, a staunch Confederate-supporting Capitalist, was highly disgusted with Charl's political ideology, and he was expelled for 'hate speech'. However, Mrs. White was soon enlisted into the Civil War and killed by a cannonball strike through the stomach.
Charl's new teacher, Frederick Angle, an anti-war activist and strict American Federalist, provided his preschoolers with political compass tests. While his classmates colored on the pretty squares and drew fun, colorful depictions of violent war crimes, Charl instead completed the test perfectly. Mr. Angle was astounded when he saw Charl's political compass test- their results matched almost identically!
I Was Thinking Maybe We Could... Partner Up?
Mr. Angle immediately contacted Charl's father, informing Karl that his son was a prodigy. Karl thanked Mr. Angle for his kind words, but insisted his son was 'perfectly normal', as the young boy drew hammers and sickles in red sidewalk chalk in the driveway.
Mr. Angle became somewhat of a mentor figure to Charl, and the two remained close throughout Charl's high school years. After the Civil War ended, Charl had a fairly normal childhood, up until his sixteenth birthday. In the United States, sixteen or older males were automatically drafted into the Great META War (an even larger war, of which the American Civil War had been an almost insignificant microcosm of).
One and Only Love
In order to avoid the draft, Charl exploited the Georgian Child Wedding Law, by which any man who married a woman as a minor would be exempt from the draft for up to ten years. Charl went to a local restaurant and asked loudly if anyone would marry him, so he could avoid the war. After several hours, a very tall girl approached him. Charl noted her blood-red jacket and identified a fellow communist when he saw one.
The two began a close friendship, and eventually were married after six days of knowing each other (Charl's birthday was coming up).
Sleeper Agent
Their marriage was strictly platonic; however, complications arose several years in when Sarah short-circuited and was revealed to have been a Combine Android Sleeper Agent. Despite this, Charl needed their marriage to continue for the remaining seven years; so, he paraded his cybertronic wife's body around the village Weekend-At-Bernie's style.
Their marriage ended after the ten year period expired, and Charl was taken from his bed in the middle night and forcefully brought to Fort Drum, a large American military base. This would prove to be a classic American mistake.
Draft Dodging
Charl, still a staunch supporter of the Anti-War movement, actually convinced over half of his fellow "recruits" to plan a coup and overthrow the military leadership of Fort Drum. Their plan worked, and they escaped in fighter jets, returning back to Georgia, where Charl, together with his elementary teacher Mr. Angle, started the Communist Party of America.
Government Questioning
Charl went on in public for several years living fairly normally. Together with Mr. Angle, Charl authored the 'Combine Manifesto', a book which would become revolutionary in left-wing politics for the rest of Omniversal History.
In 130 BB, however, Charl was once again kidnapped by authorities in the night, although this time, he was brought to Washington, DC, where he was put on trial for treason and espionage due to his actions at Fort Drum. He was ultimately sentenced to seventy-three consecutive life sentences, thanks to the Supreme Chalupa Court (an antiquated relic of a bygone era). However, Charl was determined not to give up so easily.