Donald Trump (Great MAGA King)
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| Donald J. Trump | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | The Great MAGA King Drumpf |
| Affiliation | The Employers
Aeternian Empire Nova Aeternia United States of America |
| Occupation | God-Emperor of Earth
|
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Eternally Soul-Tethered to Vice Emperor Mike Pence |
| Date of birth | Unknown |
| Place of birth | The Outervoid |
| Date of death | 1 A.B. |
| Place of death | Glue Factory in Albuquerque, NM |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Human (God-Mantle) |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 7'2 |
| Weight | 18,000,000,000,000,000 Kilograms |
| Eye color | Blue |
| Appearances | |
Description
Donald Trump, aka The Great MAGA King, was a vitally important figure in the rise of Nova Aeternia and the reshaping of the known political cosmos. Revered by his followers as a divine ruler, a conqueror of bureaucracy, and the self-proclaimed God-Emperor of Earth, he stood at the centre of countless legends, decrees, and apocalyptic campaign rallies. His presence alone was said to bend reality, inspire golden architecture, and cause eagles to circle dramatically overhead.
Emerging from The Outervoid (a place widely agreed to be “somewhere behind reality but in front of Florida”), Trump allegedly manifested fully formed, already wearing a suit and expressing strong opinions about mammoths. Cave paintings discovered in multiple continents depict a tall golden figure pointing at things while smaller humans nod in agreement, suggesting his influence stretches back to prehistoric societies.
As President of the United States and Consul of Nova Aeternia, he ruled with thunderous speeches, impossible promises, and a mythic sense of self-importance. His reign became the subject of endless propaganda, religious devotion, and political satire, ensuring that his name would echo long after his fall. Whether remembered as saviour, tyrant, or cosmic spectacle, His Magarrishness remains one of the most absurdly legendary figures ever recorded.
History
Prehistoric Era (Before Legume)
Long before civilization, Trump is said to have advised early humans on “deal-making strategies” involving fire, rocks, and slightly larger rocks. Some historians claim he invented the concept of “winning” during a dispute over who discovered berries first. Others believe he tried to brand the wheel.
There are unverified accounts of him attempting to negotiate with a woolly mammoth, reportedly telling it, “You’re fired,” before being chased for several miles.
Ancient Civilizations
In ancient Egypt, some fringe theories suggest Trump was briefly worshipped as a lesser-known pyramid consultant who insisted they be “taller, more luxurious, frankly incredible.” Hieroglyphs (possibly mistranslated) appear to show a figure gesturing at a pyramid while others take notes.
During the Roman era, he allegedly attempted to become an emperor but was instead recorded as “that loud guy near the forum.” Nonetheless, his influence persisted, particularly in speeches that lasted far longer than necessary.
Medieval and Renaissance Periods
In the medieval period, Trump was rumored to have appeared in various courts, offering unsolicited advice on castle walls and moat aesthetics. One manuscript refers to a “golden-haired merchant king who spoke endlessly of greatness.”
During the Renaissance, he allegedly critiqued art, once saying a painting needed to be “more tremendous,” though historians are unclear what that meant.
Modern Era & Rise to Power
Eventually assuming the title of President of the United States, Trump transitioned into his role as God-Emperor of Earth and later Consul of Nova Aeternia. His rule was characterized by massive rallies, bold declarations, and an almost supernatural ability to remain at the centre of attention.
During this time, he also reportedly:
- Attempted to rename several continents
- Declared at least one mountain “fake”
- Held a meeting with time itself (results inconclusive)
Personality
Trump’s personality is often described as:
- Extremely confident, regardless of context
- Deeply invested in the concept of “winning,” even in situations where winning is undefined
- Capable of speaking continuously for extended periods without observable need for pause
Followers view him as a visionary. Critics describe him as “a phenomenon that requires further study.”
Powers and Abilities
The Eyes (Primary Ability)
Trump was able to use his eyes to use them, a phrase repeated in multiple sacred and unofficial texts. While this may sound unhelpful, it is widely accepted as the most accurate description available.
When activated, his eyes reportedly:
- Projected Intent: Observers would suddenly feel like something important was happening, even if nothing was
- Bent Conversations: Entire discussions could shift direction simply by him looking at someone mid-sentence
- Reflected Alternate Realities: Some witnesses claimed seeing “different outcomes” inside his pupils, though others just saw themselves looking confused
Historical Uses of the Eyes
Prehistoric Era:
During early human gatherings, it is said Trump used his eyes to silently convince a group of hunters that a rock was actually a strategy. The rock remained a rock, but morale improved significantly.
Ancient Egypt:
A disputed tablet suggests he once stared at a partially built pyramid until workers felt compelled to stack more blocks. Whether this was motivation or coincidence remains unknown.
Medieval Courts:
Chroniclers describe him “looking intensely” at a king, after which the king reportedly agreed to something nobody remembered proposing.
Limitations
Despite their power, his eyes were not without flaws:
- They occasionally caused confusion even among allies
- Overuse could result in extended speeches from nearby individuals
- Some individuals appeared completely unaffected, usually responding with “what?”
Scientific Explanation (Unverified)
Modern attempts to explain the phenomenon suggest his eyes may function as:
- A psychological amplifier, increasing the perceived importance of any moment
- A narrative distortion field, making events feel more dramatic than they are
- Or simply eyes, used in a way that is somehow… more
- Chronological Persistence: Has been present in multiple historical eras with no clear explanation
Legacy
The legacy of His Magarrishness remains impossible to fully define. Some believe he reshaped history; others believe history reshaped itself around him to cope.
From prehistoric caves to futuristic empires, his presence lingers as a strange constant—part leader, part legend, part ongoing argument. Whether remembered as a ruler, a myth, or an unusually persistent storyline, one fact remains:
He was, undeniably, there.
Death
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The death of The Great MAGA King is one of the most disputed, mythologised, and frankly confusing events in recorded and unrecorded history. Official records state that he died in a Glue Factory in Albuquerque, New Mexico, on 1 A.B. (After Branding). However, almost every part of this account has been questioned.
The Final Moments
Witnesses (none of whom agree with each other) describe a surreal sequence of events:
- Trump reportedly entered the factory voluntarily, claiming he had “one last deal to make”
- Machinery inside the building allegedly stopped working upon his arrival, as if unsure of its role in the situation
- His eyes—previously known for being used to use them—were said to glow at “maximum usage capacity”
One account claims he pointed at a conveyor belt and declared it “tremendous,” after which reality became briefly “uncertain.”
The Event Itself
What actually caused his death is unknown. Theories include:
- Physical Explanation: A completely normal and explainable industrial accident (widely rejected for being too straightforward)
- Metaphysical Exit: He simply decided the timeline was no longer “working for him” and left
- Narrative Collapse: The story could no longer sustain his presence and resolved itself abruptly
A particularly strange report claims that, at the moment of his death, several unrelated objects across the world were described as “doing very well.”
Aftermath
Immediately following the event:
- The factory was found completely intact, yet “vaguely different”
- A faint echo of a speech was reportedly heard for several hours, though no source was identified
- At least one historian insists he saw Trump “leave twice”
His body was never definitively confirmed, leading to widespread speculation that the concept of his existence simply relocated elsewhere.
Legacy of the Death
The death of His Magarrishness did not bring clarity—only more questions:
- Did he actually die, or did he just rebrand existence?
- Was the Glue Factory real, or a symbolic construct?
- Why Albuquerque?
To this day, some claim that in moments of great confusion or unnecessary confidence, you can still feel his presence—watching, observing… using his eyes to use them.
