Drown Paul Initiative

The drown Paul Initiative, a horrible initiative, was an initiative put forth by the Reagan Administration in 39 BB, with the sole mission of, as the name suggests, drowning Paul.

Mission Status

Paul was drowned.

Post-Drowning

Paul's lifeless corpse was discovered on Playalinda Beach on the western coast of Florida on June 4, 39 BB. A group of evangelical Christians discovered his body, and brought this unknown man to the holy church, where he was lathered in balm and prepared for a funeral. However, this ceremony was abruptly halted with the arrival of the Witch Doctress, Granny Twoface.

Granny Twoface attacked and ate the evangelicals, before approaching Paul. She gently rested her gnarled, purple hand on the young man's forehead, infusing him with strange balloon juice which inflated his skin with massive boils and bubbles. Paul, miraculously, awoke from his death, his soul being wrenched violently back to Earth from the Nowhere, and he began screaming at the horrendous state of his body. Granny Twoface shushed him, and carefully placed an apple in his jaw, before jamming her fingers into his eye sockets (destroying his eyes) and infusing his brain with Ancient Magicks.

Paul suddenly stopped screaming, and thrust his fist up at Granny Twoface's left head with inhumane speeds. This head was obliterated, infuriating Granny Twoface (who was now Granny Oneface). Although his eyes had been destroyed, Paul began seeing everything with a newfound clarity, and was privy to the Fifth-Dimensionals milling about the church. This infuriated Paul, and he ran, screaming, towards, them, and began attacking the Fifth-Dimensionals with an insane speed and power that was impossible to achieve for mere mortals.

Great Tribulation

Now, Granny Twoface began laughing wickedly, for her mission was a success. Ig Serroid arrived and retrieved her from the room, leaving Paul alone amongst the dead bodies of fifty-thousand fifth-dimensionals.