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Ecoria

From The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki
Revision as of 16:53, 7 April 2026 by Doorbell3200Washcloth0957 (talk | contribs) (5 revisions imported)
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Ecoria was thorouhly colarotted.

Ecoria was the imperial capital city of Kragdrysil, and, for a time, was habitable.

In the distant past of Kragdrysil, six years before the dawn of Man on Earth, the Kragdryse were still a nomadic people, travelling through the moon's lush caverns and underground oceans. They began as an exclusively cave-dwelling people, although, over time, they slowly developed an immunity to solar radiation. They were not, however, completely invincible, and long periods of exposure could prove harmful to their sensitive skin.

The Kragdryse learned that when the large planet around which Kragdryse orbited, which they named 'Polis', passed in front of the system's Sun, they could spend as much time as they liked on the surface. The planet almost completely blocked the solar radiation. These planetary eclipses occurred frequently, and would last for several hours.

The Kragdryse worked to begin constructing above-ground 'caves' on the surface, which they built in large, boxy shapes in order to further encourage the growth of the planet's invaluable naturally occurring sugar crystals (which the Kragdrin derived much of their diet from). They also resided inside of these large caves. In just ten years, Ecoria had over fifty thousand Kragdryse living in it, and was expanding rapidly across the moon's surface. The above ground civilization eventually became so complex that the previous system of rank-choice leadership voting was deemed ineffective. A final election was held to determine who would become the first Kragdryse Emperor. The winner, a Kragdryse with no name (as they were a nameless race) was elected, and immediately became absolute monarch over Ecoria.

Every Kragdryse appeared exactly identical, until the ecoystemic cataclysm.

The Imperial City

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The Kragdryse Empire began expanding into other reaches of Kragdrysil. They conquered large swaths of the surface, building outposts both above and below ground. For millions of years, the Kragdryse Empire ruled over the planet with an iron fist. No other governmental body was formed.

The Inherslohtians attempted to contact the Kragdryse numerous times. Records are unclear as to how exactly the Kragdryse responded, although no intact evidence indicates the Kragdryse ever even acknowledged or responded to attempts at communication. The 16th Emperor, Emperor Kragdryse XVI, constructed a massive sugar-crystal dome around Ecoria, with no entry for outsiders. The Kragdryse would eventually come to regret this.

The Kragdryse built massive monuments to their Emperors, who were hailed as gods. A ritualistic consumption of one's predecessor was commonplace, and over forty Emperors were inside of the body of the final Kragdryse Empress at the time of her death.

Ecorian Grand Calamity

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Eventually, the Kragdryse were privy to an unwelcome guest, late into the Omniverse’s history.

The Auditor, the mentally deranged Employer, had descended from the Outervoid into the Omniverse to obtain more of his favorite beverage, J.F. Sweets Cherry Cola, but found that Waifuria Prime, the only vendor of this substance, no longer existed. This enraged The Auditor, and he scoured the entire Omniverse looking for more of it.

Eventually he found a six-pack of Cherry Cola, hidden within the reserves of the Kragdryse Imperial Palace. The Auditor took this stash, but while leaving the palace was spotted by the guards and ordered to stand trial before the Empress. The Auditor obliged, seeing an opportunity. The Empress of Kragdrys was infuriated that she was being stolen from. The Empress ordered The Auditor to be executed, in response to which he vaporized her, her guards, and the entire population of the palace. He claimed the Kragdrysilian throne for himself and ordered for every citizen of the capital to meet outside the palace.

What followed was the twelfth worst Omniversal Climate Disaster. The Auditor turned Ecoria into a high-fructose corn syrup hellscape, using the city's abundant sugar crystals to mass produce J.F. Sweets Cherry Cola. The skies became a violent, unbreathable blood red, and Ecorians either retreated to the caverns of Kragdrysil or died of inhalative diabetes.

The Auditor forced many Kradryse to work inside of unsanitary and shoddily made High Fructose Corn Syrup factories. This was not technically slavery, as he paid them the modest livable wage of $7.25 an hour. Unfortunately for the Kragdryse, a single gallon of Sugargas (which they used to drive their automobiles) costed roughly $4, so they really earned roughly $3.25 an hour. The economy of Ecoria violently exploded during this period, and a single meal would usually cost between $6-$8 at a low-end establishment. So, two hours of work awarded the Kragdryse with the grand opportunity to eat and not die.

The Auditor also removed the progressive imperial system of single-payer health insurance, instead opting to make insurance plans expensive yet mandatory in order to be employed at his factories. Many Kragdryse were unable to afford health insurance, due to being paid such a generous 'living wage' by the Auditor. They were usually able to scoot by alright; that is, of course, unless they got injured. They would then be forced to fork over tens of thousands of dollars to hospitals in exchange for not dying. Most Kragdryse would never be able to pay back this immense debt (how dare they get hurt!) and remained in a hole of depreciating credit until their deaths.

Ecorian Collapse

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Ecoria became one of the least hospitable regions in the Omniverse as a result of this. Eventually, the only being present inside the city walls was the Auditor himself. He watched silently out of his high-rise window at the polluted and flooded cities below him, and thought to himself, "well, it was worth it. At least I got rich. At least I'm okay."

Ecoria was destroyed when Kragdrysil fell into the system's sun, after becoming simply too massive due to the massive influx of high-fructose corn syrup flooding the moon's core and mantle.