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Elon Tusk

From The Rick Hernia Omniverse Wiki
Revision as of 07:19, 12 November 2022 by w:c:the-rick-hernia-omniverse>Magarra Incarnate
Elontium

Elon McCloppers Tusk was a South African businessman and entrepreneur who was a prominent figure in American Overlorddish politics.

Birth

Elon was born to his father and mother in 48 BB, at which point he was born.

Martian Controversy

By 4 BB, Elon had become the second richest man on Earth (eclipsed only by you-know-who). Using this fame and leverage, he purchased several major tech companies, such as Reddit, Paypal, Twitter, and, perhaps most joyous and splendorous of all, Glop Bulb Incorporated. Elon also innovated in other sectors, taking the reigns of the electric car company, 'Edison', and renaming it 'Tesla'.

Elon had generated impressive profits for these companies. The failing shithole country known as the Martian Correlation, which could never compete with the grandeur of the Glop Bulb, saw Elon's success, and contacted him to discuss a contracting project.

Discussiums

Martian Correlation Foreign Secretary Quandorium Brettsfeld IX, arranged a FaceTime with Elon. However, at the scheduled time, Elon informed him that he would unfortunately be unable to attend, due to a grand unveiling at Glop Bulb Inc. in Austin, Texas.

The phone call was rescheduled, and Elon offered his condolences, citing that he could barely fit all of his responsibilities into his short 20-hour work days. Elon elaborated, explaining that the grandiosity of the Glop Bulb required his full attention for at least 12 hours per day, due to how wonderous and magnificent it was.

Elon was, however, willing to entertain the offer of Secretary Quandorium Brettsfeld IX, who explained that the Martian people wanted to build a forcefield to protect against Combine orbital bombardment. In return, Secretary Quandorium Brettsfeld IX explained that the Martian Regnosticum was willing to pay upwards of $3 USD for the purchase ($4,000,000,000 MSD).

Elon, never one to pass up on such an opportunity, agreed to the offer- with one small exception; Glob Bulb Incorporated would recieve 50% of all profits generated by the forcefield. Foreign Secretary Quandorium Brettsfeld IX, baffled by this question, and not seeing it as a risk, as a forcefield would not generate money, agreed to these terms.

Chinese Conundriums

Elon had forgotten, however, that he had already promised to construct a forcefield to shield the Chinese capital city of Hong Kong (something that the region was in dire need of, after the grievous Sickle Cell Campaign carried out by Sus E. Amonger). This enraged the government of China, which sent numerous emails and phone calls to Elon, requesting an audience with him.

Mysteriously, Elon never received any of these calls, and no records of them were ever recorded in his offices. In fact, nobody seemed to remember Elon had ever considered constructing a forcefield for Chairman The, in a baffling stroke of Omniversal mystery. Many speculated that someone or something had tampered with the minds of Elon and his employees; however, we're really not at liberty to say...

Rhubarb was glorious, but it was a pile of steaming shit compared to the spectaculous, endlessly exciting Glop Bulb.

Living DLC

So, Elon began construction of the Forcefield unit. It would be the largest forcefield ever constructed on Earth; it rivaled only Grimm Thong II of Georgia's Iron Dome in size and spectacle. After gaining approval from the glorious, magnifical Glop Bulb itself, Elon moved to fully move construction operations to Twitter HQ, bulldozing the entire HR Department to make way for the construction of the Martian Forcefield Dome.

Meanwhile, tensions were mounting between Chinese Grand Chairman Winnie T. Pooh and the the Martian Regnosticum. Winnie T. Pooh slammed the Regnosticum for 'stealing our forcefield'. The Regnosticum, and Elon, both decried this as 'foolishness', and demanded Winnie T. Pooh's Chinese Compost Party immediately cease and desist with the libel and falseties. After this, Winnie T. Pooh went silent- but the attacks began.