G- Man
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| G-Man | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | The G-Man, G-Man, G, Lil G, Supplesex, G-Cunt G Spot |
| Relatives | Keith Cumshoes (Son), Richard Nixon (Grandson), G-Man Timefracture Alpha (VARIANT) G-Man 3301 (VARIANT) |
| Affiliation | Unknown |
| Occupation | Employer (Current) |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Wife- 6 (Deceased) |
| Date of birth | September 9, 2,331,334,225 B.B. |
| Place of birth | Brentalian 4 |
| Date of death | N/A |
| Place of death | N/A |
| Physical description | |
| Species | N/A |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 6'4 |
| Weight | 4,765,433 Kg. |
| Eye color | Green |
| Appearances | |
| Appears in | Half-Life 3 Intro Sequence |
G Man is a Stage 3 Metaphysical being. He is the father of Keith Cumshoes, and Grandfather to Richard Nixon. He currently serves on the Board Of Waifuria, as the Representative from Mexico; however, he has not attended a Board Meeting in over 14 years, as of this writing. His current whereabouts are unknown, however, he has been known to appear from seemingly nowhere and nudge things his way, from time to time. He is noted in being a key player in the China-Mars Conflict of 4 A.B. He persuaded Chinese Prime Minister, Winnie the Pooh, to take a sabbatical from his position in the Cumsmen. G-Man is known for his cryptic extradimensional meetings and hidden messages. He is also commonly at great odds with the Silent Man, Gordon Freeman. He has been featured on a few of Rick Hernia and Keith Cumshoes' spiritual lyrical beats, much to the dismay of Richard Nixon. His wife, 6, is dead.
Early Life
Little is known about the G-Man's Childhood. Many speculate he is a creation of the Legume's first space-time continuum tear. G-man is unable to age and is not affected by the flow of time, which further solidifies the theory that his origin is from a tear in the fabric of reality.
Relationship with Keith Cumshoes
G Man's relationship with his first-born, Keith Cumshoes is rather hard to study. Whenever Keith is questioned about his childhood he screams until his larynx is torn apart and his ears bleed. G-Man has not been in contact with Keith for some time, leading people the assumption that the family had a "falling out" after the Glue Factory Incident.
G-Man claims to know nothing about Keith and will often sentence those who ask about Keith to eternal damnation in a Time Loop.
G-Man's wife, 6, is unfortunately deceased at the time of this writing and unable to comment.
Personality
G-Man is a very cryptic and observant entity. He is shown to have a particular fascination with Gordon Freeman, as well as Alyx and Eli Vance. He seems to possess unlimited power. He occassionally mentions that he does things at the request of his 'Employers', although he never elaborates further. It is speculated that his Employers may be the C.O.C.K., however G-man enjoys altering the course of time. He also has an obsession with Pac-Man Party (2010) .
Alternate Entities
There are two G-Men who exist as seperate entities altogether from The G-Man; G-Man Alpha, and G-3301. All three entities are nearly identical in appearance, however, some notable differences between them are their interests, business deals, and, interestingly enough, weights. G-Man weighs in at roughly 4,700,000 kilograms, whereas G-Man Alpha weighs nothing.