Hazzorius Blume

Hazzorius Blume was a grandiose figure. A human skeleton salesman, he faced much controversy due to his unseemly profession; however, he repeatedly assured critics that his skeletons were "ethically sourced", whatever that meant.

Beginning of Business

Born in 74 BB, Hazzorius never knew a world without the Great META War raging across the eastern front of his state. Hazzorius had humble beginnings; he started his first job working in a candy shop in southern Indiana. Hazzorius was raised on the idea that Ohioans were soulless, bloodthirsty creatures- and far from human, at that. He was taught that they were as bad, or even worse than the Combine. As a result of this, Hazzorius invented a new candy bar- designed like the Ohio flag with human shit (chocolate) on top. He was promoted to store manager immediately due to this invention. H

At the age of 18, Hazzorius left home to attend Indianapolis State University.