BLAMPIST-1 G
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BLAMPIST-1 G (Vardonna) was an arid world covered in dunes of sodium chloride (salt) and a subterrenean ocean, lush with aquatic plants and creatures. The sixth and most populous planet of the BLAMPIST-1 system, it was home to around 10 billion humash who referred to themselves as 'Vardonnens'. The Vardonnens settled BLAMPIST-1 G in the 15,000,000s BB. This is the story of their world...
First Settlement
The history of Vardonna was a tale passed down for eons through generations of Vardonnens. Legend goes that in the year 55,555,555 BB, when the Milky Way was young, BLAMPIST-1 aligned perfectly with then-medium sized black hole Sagittarius A. The seven planets, many still brewing with liquid surfaces and doomed moons, were locked, for a moment, in a perfect line pointing toward the Milky Way's core. Directly opposite BLAMPIST-1, on the far side of Sagittarius A, was another seven-planet solar system, which also aligned with the black hole. It was said that in honor of the beauty and splendor of this occassion that the Gods delivered from a white portal two humash; a man, Mada, and another man, Evan.
In these days, Vardonna was a dark water world; churning with tropical storms and monumental winds. Its poles were frigid blizzard vortexi, and its equator was a volcanic hotspot.
However, when the humash descended from the heavens, Mada carried by Father Snow, and Evan by Ed Wool, the planet's climate immediately stabilized; equalized across its entire surface, due to the harmonious duality of Mada, the masculine, and Eve, the feminine. Vardonna adopted a universal surface temperature of 69 degrees Fahrenheit, the perfect temperature for humash to thrive. And thrive they did.
Wardenniums
After five days on the surface of BLAMPIST-1 G, the young humash awoke one morning to find an infant nestled in the salt dunes outside their home. This infant held in the palms of his hands a seemingly innocuous number '5', and babbled incoherently at Mada and Evan. This was the Five Warden, born to Mada and Evan, and his story is a great one. Alas, my dearies,