Siege of Ecoria
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The Siege of Ecoria was an orbital skirmish at the cherry-cola-polluted planetoid Kragdrysil in the Inhersloht system. It was one of the first battles of the Third Great META War.
A Rotten Ambush
Worlds Without Boundaries, once an Intergalactic terorrist organization, had, by the late 999,900s, become somewhat of a peace-keeping force in the Omniverse. The Omniverse's two major hegemons, the Waifurian Empire and Combine, had long since collapsed, with the Waifurian homeworld of Earth falling under the control of the supercorporation OmniStar Corp and the Combine Empire downsizing to the Combine Hamlet, a small settlement on the surface of Ferinah.
Kragdrysil, once a prosperous and unsoullean world, had become a horrific, high-fructose nightmare. It had swollen to over four times its original size and consumed its original parent planet, Inhersloht, in the process. In 999,959 AB, Kragdrysil orbited its star at an eccentricity of .99999, rendering its so called 'orbit' a nearly straight line. Every three days, Kragdrysil tore past its star at a distance of mere kilometers. It was in a downward spiral of the Auditor's design; and was in its final days as a celestial body.
The ruler of Kragdrysil was a rotten, horrific, mutated individual by the name of Strawberry Awake. Strawberry Awake ruled over vast swaths of nearly 10 Synthezoids, which inhabited the decrepit city of Ecoria farming sugar and building materials for their master. Strawberry Awake was none too pleased by the presence of WWB battleships in his polluted, opaque skies, and made this clear by sending daily Strongly Worded Emails to the WWB Defence Forces patrolling his territory.
Failure to Respond
Unfortunately for Strawberry Awake, the WWB forces were unable, or, unwilling, to respond to his Emails in a timely fashion. This was of great displeasure to the mutated fruit man, who ordered his synthezoids to stop what they were doing and to begin construction on a Nuclear Sugar Missile which would strike a WWB vessel and transform it and its inhabitants into Rock Candy (of the Cherry Variety). Construction continued swimmingly until Kragdrysil razed the corona of its Sun and boiled Strawberry Awake alive.
Strawberry Awake, now a puddle of black slop, was displeased with this event. The synthezoids bolted from Ecoria, leaving Strawberry Awake to seep into the soil and sodas of Kragdrysil and coalesce with the planetoid itself.
WWB Safety Patrol
The Worlds Without Boundaries vessels in Kragdrysil's atmosphere had applied SPF 500000000000000 sunscreen, and as such were protected from this vitriolic sunsmear. However, their vision was partially obscured due to the Sun's blinding rays. That, my Dearies, is when their transmission systems crackled to life, and the horrific, rotting, blackened, and crooked visage of The Mummy appeared on their holotransmitters.
A Grievous Message From The Mummy
"Folks..." The Mummy croaked, purple mist wafting out of his mouth, "It's time to end this game." The Mummy procured from his hideous pocket a complex, intricately engraved stone bean. "You've had your fun, jacks..." The Mummy whispered, his eyes creaking in his skull, "But the jig is up. My Empire has risen from the ashes; the chosen empire, the Empire of the chosen. We are the glorious Omniversal Heroes; and you, my friends, are Omniversal Zeroes." The Mummy's neck cracked at an unnatural angle. "Surrender now, or face the wrath of my.... uh... my.... look, anyways. Surrender now, or face unimaginable...." A strange glint flashed across Mummy's eyes... "Consequences."
Unfortunatium
Unfortunately for the WWB ships, they were given .00000009 seconds to respond to this message, after which the Enclave Suncrawler stationed on the opposite side of the Sun interpreted their lack of response as a no. The massive, hulking starmetal land transport (or rather, plasma transport) crept over the horizon of the star and readied its Giganto-Cannonplex. An Enclave soldier, cloaked in dark purple robes and downing a Flame Resistance potion, lept out of the Suncrawler and pulled a huge, jet-black hose from the side of the hulking machine. He dragged it across the surface of the star and attached it to a six-foot wide sunspot, from which the Suncrawler began pumping starplasma into its Giganto-Cannonplex.
The WWB ships, oblivious to what was happening on the star's surface, began readied their shields facing toward outer space, expecting an incoming attack from the depths of the cosmos. The sun blazed in the background as they trained their guns on passing asteroids. The WWB was not expecting, however, the Giganto-Blast from the Giganto-Cannonplex which destroyed their Medical Frigate immediately. The Other battleships turned toward the sun in mass Delirium. However, that is when the Enclave's main fleet arrived in the atmosphere of Kragdrysil, and immediately began firing on the enemy.
A War On Two Celestial Bodies
The WWB were sandwiched between a massive starmetal device which fired volley after volley of plasma into their fleets, and a seemingly endless trickle of Enclave vessels which battered their shields with dark purple energy blasts. The skirmish raged on for three Earth Days (63 Kragdrysil Days) with many Enclave vessels succumbing to insatiable heat of the star along the way. The Suncrawler eventually fell into a massive sunspot and sunk into the surface of the star, rendered useless to the Enclave army. It was ordered to this location by the Rotten Minded Mummy, who, even in his old, old, old, old, old, old, age, was still getting more Rotten by the day. By the third day, the forces were evenly matched, and were consistently taking heavy losses from one another. The surface of Kragdrysil became covered in crumpled, melted, and rotted vessels, which began heating the tidally-locked world up. Quite So.
Nuclear Sugar Missile
The Synthezoids of Strawberry Awake had been unable to evacuate the planet due to all of this commotion; and as such had modified their Nuclear Sugar Missile into a last-ditch effort at a transport ship. They created vast storage tanks, four of them, each roughly the size of New York City, which were affixed to the Nuclear Sugar Missile using Unobtanium Taffy. The ten lucky synthezoids boarded their Nuclear Sugar Missile with grand visions of freedom ahead. They imagined prancing through lush valleys of green and yellow; swimming through oceans of blue and pink. They saw a promising future ahead of them, should they escape their entrapment on Kragydrysil.
Unfortunately, the Synthezoids forgot to, or were made to forget to, implement a navigation system inside of the Nuclear Sugar Missile. This was a Horrific Blunder, likely caused by their proximity to Mummy-Adjacent Objects. This blunder was not comprehended until the Nuclear Sugar Missile was well on its way directly toward the surface of the Kragdrys Sun.
Cherry Cola Evangelion
The Missile struck the sun with the force of 800,000,000 nuclear bombs, deeply upsetting it, and sending a furious shockwave exploding out from the star. Tendrils of untethered starmatter slapped against the buoyant surface of Kragdrysil, superheating the planet (past its already egregious climate pollution state) and causing it to glow white hot. The Cherry Cola Pools, which had been affixed to the Nuclear Sugar Missile, exploded into massive clouds of red vapor above the star, swirling around in a gigantic, glowing disc. This occluded the vision of Enclave and WWB alike. Kragdrysil's orbit, deeply destabilized by the recent stellar travesty, basically fucking dissapeared, and the planetoid hurtled toward its star, down for one last go around the sun. It razed the edge of the star's plasma by 4 inches on this orbit, and flew off into space, before coming barreling back home with the force of 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Rhinoceroses.