St. Nick
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| Nicholas M. Klaus | |
|---|---|
| Aliases | Santa Claus
St. Nick Nicky Boy Saint Nicholas Jeffrey |
| Biographical information | |
| Marital status | Mrs. Klaus |
| Date of birth | 12/25/2020 BB |
| Place of birth | Jerusalem |
| Date of death | 05/02/204,237,883 AB |
| Place of death | Unknown |
| Physical description | |
| Species | Humanian |
| Gender | Male |
| Height | 4'11 |
| Weight | 245 lbs |
| Eye color | Soullean |
| Appearances | |
Saint Nick was a prolific serial kidnapper and bootleg toy manufacturer who operated out of Glacier 43 in the Arctic Circle.
Early Life
Nick was born in a wretched slum in what would become Jerusalem, on the night of the birth of Jesus Christ. While Jesus was visited by the Three Wise Men that night, Nick was shat on by several cows and pigs, as his mother screamed in agony.
Nick was raised in a horribly sad state, with his mother and father working the fields of a Roman overlord (Pontiface Bollorpius XV), and his dear grandpappy working at the local woodmill, cutting logs and sawing things by hand.
Nick spent a lot of time with dear grandpappy, and he learned a grand deal about woodworking from him. Nick began manufacturing toys out of wood, mostly wooden horses or soldiers, which he would then sell at market for one septum each.
This all changed, however, for Nick,