Uranian Sleep Apartments

The Uranian Sleep Apartments were a fucking mistake. Poor architecture, horrible service, and I cannot tell you how many times I woke up with methane in my shoes. 0/10 would not recommend. That being said the Vortigaunt janitor was a very cool guy even if those rumors about him being the one who shot Ionia Rodnitz in the chest are true. (She had it coming anyway let's be honest.) I had fun pushing my friend into the methane below us and watching him sink as the pressure and freezing temperatures simultaneously crushed him to death while also inducing like super hypothermia or smth idk lol.

Mint?:

No mint under my pillow :(

Uhhhhhhh:

I did not leave the toilet in Apartment 3 Room D7 clogged, that was Jerry.

P.S., stop fucking telling people it was me Jerry you dick. >:(

Fate:

The Apartments got sucked up by some big meteor thing that passed by and apparently crashed into Triton??? Idk lol just glad they're gone. I will miss the complementary biscuits though, those were good. Rip Jurobolon, pouring one out for you tonight homie.

I don't have much else to say besides they had a really cool fountain on Apartment 2 and I kind of want to go look on Triton to see if it's still there.

I am The Table, throw rocks into traffic.

(A photo of the Sleep Apartments, calmly hovering above the liquid methane layer of Uranus. I don't know what that moon is doing there, sorry :/ )

Peace.