Xygdrasil

Xygrasil, the Wise Portlandish Tree, was a Purgatorial Portal to all of the Omniversal Hellworlds.

Xygdrasil was a wise, mystical tree, which rested deep in the secluded forests of northern Europe. The tree was special and was revered in ancient times, for its ability to transport individuals across the Omniversal plane (although, only there, and never back).

Xygrasil, was, in fact, an ancient Pangean torture device, utilized by the Criminal Justice division of the Aeternian Empire to 'take care of' dissenters or MAGA heretics.

Those sentenced to death by Xygrasil were brought to the tree and forced to pick a fruit from its many lush branches. These glowing, apple-esque fruit pods contained energy inside of them which, when consumed, would teleport the consumer to a random purgatorial realm.

The Omniverse was home to several different hellworlds, with varying degrees of severity and finality. The victims did not choose their hellworlds. Eventually, no matter what, the victims were going to die and be transported to the Nowhere, where the cycle of reincarnation would allow them to begin life anew.

We will now examine the various possible Hellworlds that those who ate the forbidden Xygdrasil fruit might be subjected to, and they will be rated on a scale of levels 1-4 in terms of horrendousness.

The Lot (Level 2)

The Lot was a death sentence, as the Friends would find and kill those who landed in the Superflat plane. However, the Friends would usually tear their prey apart in 1-2 pulls, providing an efficient and quick death, and a rather painless one, at that.

Portland Oregon (Level 4)

Portland Oregon was a horrendous manmade hellscape which was the most violent and horrible place to be in the entire Omniverse. On top of having no vegan substitutes, the realm had an average temperature of 210 Fahrenheit (99 Celsius) and was a fiery apocalyptic nightmare. Those lucky enough to die quickly would be relieved upon arriving in the Nowhere; for Portland Oregon was a wretched hive of the most vile sensations known to man.

Pluto- City (Level 1)

Pluto was a relatively nice place to be; often described as the 'good ending', those lucky enough to eat a Plutonic Xygdrasil fruit would find themselves in the hotel lobby of the Charon Inn, being offered a cool soulbeer and free room and board for the night.

Souls who arrived in Pluto often prolonged their damnation as much as possible; in fact, the only reason souls ever left Pluto for the Nowhere was because they had become bored. After an afterlife of extreme pleasures and delight, they would often look back on their existence with pride, before dissolving from that reality and being transported to the Nowhere for reincarnation.

Venus (Level 3)

About half as bad as Portland Oregon, Venus was also a wretched place, although Ed Wool (The Omniversal God of Fire, and Primary Resident of Venus) did his best to make his visitors feel at home. Offering them fresh magma tea, and digging out rooms inside of dormant calderas, Ed Wool was a most hospitable guest. Unfortunately, most people vaporized and died within seconds of being on the planet, so Ed Wool's generous acommodations went unused.

Sixth Dimensional Plane (Level 5)

The pain and excrutiating atomic overload experienced by those banished to the Sixth Dimensional Plane were indescribable. Stretched violently between time and space, those who were sent here spent mere nanoseconds before being shredded to pieces, although to them, it felt like an eternity.

Hulphlocke Impotum, a Sixth Dimension survivor, witnessed several million souls arriving and being obliterated during his brief stint in the higher realm.

Downward Spiral (Level 2)

The Downward Spiral was a wretched place to be; those banished here would be blown around in the furious winds of the gravitational anomaly turned climate disaster, sometimes spending days or weeks being whipped around violently through the endless sea of clouds, until they finally collided with either a piece of shrapnel or the ground.

As you can see, Xygdrasil was capable of horrific things, despite being a relatively innocuous tree.

Xygdrasil was inhabited by Xygnus, a woodland spirit, who lamented the human's use of the tree for nefarious purposes. Fortunately for Xygnus, Xygdrasil was hit with a thermonuclear bomb during the Great META War, and thus became unapproachable for humans for many years.