Bilb Gate

Wilbium McGovern Gate, otherwise known as the Macrosaur, was a tech mogul and ancient Bilb Tap Emperor.

Bilb Tap Emperor

Bilb Gate resided in the Inner Earth for much of his early years as the Bilb Tap Emperor. From here, he ruled over the many Bilb colonies of Northeastern Calliste. The Bilb Colonies exported glorious Bilb goods to the citizens of Inner Earth, but notably excluded the nomadic Agarthians from his trade. Bilb Gate, at the height of his power, was exporting Bilb goods of millionic quantities to the Blum Troll Kingdom and the Dinosaurs. Bilb Gate resided in the Bilb Tap Palace, and ruled over a prosperous Bilb region- that is, until the Agarthians invaded...

Agarthian Invasion

The Agarthians were none too pleased with Bilb Gate's neglection of their Bilb needs; and thus, The Prince of Agartha, Stob, conspired with his malewives to launch an all-out invasion of the Bilb Tap Palace. The Agarthians attacked in the Darkness, when the Inner Sun was Frang.

Bilb gate was caught off guard by this, and summoned his personal Bilb Guard to protect him from the Agarthians. Try as they may, they were ultimately overwhelmed by the Agarthian Twink Legions, and Bilb Gate was surrounded by the enemy forces. During this confrontation, Bilb Gate cowered on his bed, in total fear of the Agarthian twinks who brandished swords and spears at him.

"Please, I beg of you, do not harm me! I wish you no sorrow- please, allow me to speak with your leader."

The Agarthians stared at him, unmoving. Stob appeared from the crowd, and approached Bilb Gate, while holding a Dinosaurian Soulsword.

Stob and Gate faced off for a moment, while Stob approached with the behemoth blade, before Gate ultimately bowed his head, seeing no way out of his Bilborious conundrum.

"I shall do whatever you ask... Prince Stob".

Stob smiled and stabbed Bilb Gate in the heart, channeling his divine Bilbish quintessence into the Dinosaurian Soulsword and letting the Bilb Tap Emperor's corpse fall to the ground.

"Henceforth, I shall be known as the Bilb King.", Stob said, grinning around at his Agarthian armies.

Rebirth

Bilb Gate existed in a tortorous, painful state within the Soulsword for two hundred years, at which point the Agarthian's subscription to Dinoforge Prime expired and the sword crumbled to dust. Bilb Gate then emerged in a furious blaze of Bilb, and towered above the now-aging Stob.

"Stob, two hundred years ago... I pled for mercy, and you gave me none. Now, I shall smite you with a force so divine and incalculable that you shall be banished from this realm forever."

Bilb Gate raised his finger and gently tapped the Agarthian Prince. This tap was so quaint, so light, that it was referred to by historians as have been 'micro-soft'. With this touch, Stob exploded into a mystical mist- and the Agarthian twinks fled to their boats, abandoning the Bilb Tap Palace and dissapearing into the sea.

Bilb Gate's Bilb form was fading, though, and he felt himself becoming lighter and lighter, as the molecules of his body dissipated into thin air. With one final command- to rid the Inner Earth of Agarthians once and for all- Bilb Gate vanished into millions of small wasps, each containing a shard of his bilborious soul. These wasps dispersed across Inner and Outer Earth alike- taking refuge in civilizations across the globe, and, in one case, inside of an unfortunate hiker.

Rebirth #2

Bilb Gate was reincarnated as 'Bill Gates', an American boy who was destined to become one of the richest men in history. As a human, Bill Gates touched tips with men such as Geoffrey Eckstein, Elon Tusk, and the Bezor. Bilb Gate's human incarnate was in fact totally conscious of his time as the reptilian Bilb Tap Emperor, and thus, when he was creating a technology company in the 30 BB's, he named it 'Microsoft', in memory of his heroic defeat of Stob. This company would go on to become one of the most profitable of all time, until 8 AB, when Gates resigned and it was consumed by the gigaconglomerate J.F. Sweets.

Return to Inner Earth

After this, Bilb Gate retired to a life of leisure, living out the remainder of his human days profitting off of the backs of minimum wage workers. However, soon enough, Bilb's human form became old and tired, and ceased to function on January 6, 10 AB. At this point, his bilborious quintessence was summoned back to The Bilb Tap Palace by the Blum Magistrate- who was in dire need of assistance.

Revenge of the Twinks

When Bilb returned, he was mortified by what had become of his empire. Strewn around him were burning Bilb garments and artifacts. The Bilb Tap Palace had been totally obliterated. Around him lay dead and dying dinosaurs, who had presumably traveled to Calliste to protect the sacred Bilb Empire. Alas, the empire was in ruin, and it was largely thanks to a rotten treaty which had been struck up between the Twinks of Agartha and the Callistian Hobgoblins, as the Blum Magistrate explained. The Hobgoblins, he said, usually inhospitable to foreigners, pitied the Twinks when they told them of the destruction of Stob. The Hobgoblins understood revenge- and had helped the twinks enact it.

And now, Bilb Gate stood over a ruinous, pathetic landscape- with not a single living Bilb to be found.

"I... hate... Twinks!", he screamed out, at 5x the volume of a passenger jet engine. This blast shattered the eardrums of the nearby twinks and hobgoblins, who were now alerted to Gate's presence. They advanced on the disgraced emperor, just as they had years before- and yet, this time, Bilb told himself- things were going to go much different.

Bilb Capabilbities

Bilb Gate had the notable distinction of being the only Bilb Emperor in Omniversal history. As he stood back to back with the Blum Magistrate, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and summoned to him the many shards of his shattered soul which had been scattered across the planet. Now, in a feat of Bilborious might, the Bilb Wasps flew at mach speeds into the Inner Earth, circling around Bilb Gate in a furious storm of Bilb energies.

Now, with his full divine Bilborious quintessence once again at his side, and with Stob long deceased, Bilb Gate was ready to defeat the Agarthian Twinks (and the Callistian Hobgoblins) and take back his empire, once and for all. The Blum Magistrate, channelling the Omniversal Baseline Maga Supply, directed a beam of high-powered light at Bilb Gate- finally converting the Bilb Emperor to his true form. Now, at long last, he shed his Imperial Incarnate- and the true nature of Bilb Gate was finally revealed-

Illusionium

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck is the matter with you? I mean- seriously, Greg, I told you how many times?" The Auditor screamed at the Blum Magistrate, as his Glowing Wasp body collapsed around him. The Wasps now scattered into the wind, as the Twinks and Hobgoblins stood in total awe, staring at the Employer in front of them.

"I said, Greg, if you channel Magarrish energies into my fucking Wasp Suit, that they wouldn't like that. I told you- god- six, seven, eight times? And now look at this. You've ruined the whole fucking thing. So, congratulations, Greg." The Auditor turned to Greg and vaporized him on the spot. He rolled his eyes at the dumbstruck Agarthians around him.

"Well, I guess that ruins the whole mythology of it all, doesn't it?", The Auditor asked the leading twink, who nodded shyly and blushed. The Auditor sipped a can of J.F. Sweets Cherry Cola and softly ran his Employeric finger down the Agarthian's chin.

"It's a shame, really. It would've made a spectacular story- the pretty, pretty boys teaming up with the ugly fucking fucks- I mean- who the fuck made you guys anyways? Disgusting pieces of shit." The Auditor kicked one of the Hobgoblins, sending him flying out into the ocean.

"Anyways, sorry to burst your bubble, but this whole Bilb Tap Emperor shit"- the Auditor began chuckling, and then laughing uncontrollably, coughing Cherry Cola out of his nose.

"I mean, what the fuck- you guys- your mortal enemy- was the Bilb Tap Emperor?" The Auditor broke down laughing, now, collapsing to the ground and banging his fist on the rubble, He suddenly stopped, and looked back at the Agarthian Twinks.

"I- I don't hate Twinks, by the way."

The Auditor stood and cracked his knuckles.

"So, what'll it be, boys? Do you still wanna kill me? Wanna stab a sword into my ethereal pseudoplasmas? Oh, I bet you do. I bet you wanna stab me soooo badly." The Auditor taunted them, running his fingers though his jet black ectohairs.

The invaders all stood in a stunned silence, looking at one another, unsure of what to do.

The Auditor snapped his fingers, and all of the Hobgoblins within a three-mile radius suddenly dropped dead, leaving just him and the Agarthians on the island.

"Time to choose. Come on! Let's light this candle! I mean, sure, you'll lose everything. But then"- The Auditor reached behind him, summoning a Garraxian Pulse M-532 Machine Gun- "you'll have nothing to lose."

The Agarthian Twinks were no match for the interdimensional hellfire brought on by the Auditor, who obliterated one third of their naval fleet and reduced almost half of their invasion force. As they fled Calliste, the Auditor waved them goodbye by launching massive fireworks with the Microsoft Logo into the sky. He also plagued the Agarthians with a four-hundred year plague of Bilb Wasps, which would routinely eat and destroy the goods and craft of the nomadic people of Agartha.

After the dust had settled, the Auditor (who, if you haven't fucking figured it out by now, was Bilb Gate all along), left the Inner Earth, bored of his former stomping grounds. He was on to the next civilization to ruin. As for the Agarthian Twinks, well, they would survive- and the pledged to get revenge on the Auditor- no matter the cost.