Savant Nosedive
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Savant Nosedive was a chronically online video game enthusiast, animal rights activist, and, more importantly, drug mule for the Colorado Drug Cartel (an acolyte of Cucumber Joe's) residing in Nebraska City, Kansas. Following the explosion of Cucumber Joe under suspicious circumstances in 17 AB, Savant, as the primary Land Operations Executive, was the highest ranking Colorado Drug Cartel Member alive. He thusly assumed responsibility of managing both maritime and land-based Drug Cartel operations.
Seeking Advice from the Source
Savant, upon assuming the position, immediately went on a nature excursion with his wife and children to former Drug Cartel Boss Pando (the predecessor of Cucumber Joe). The family set up a campsite with a tent, grill, picnic table, and snackies along the shores of a beautiful river inside of Pando. When his family went to sleep, however, Savant Nosedive wandered out into the forest, took off his shoes, and got down on all fours, his fingers and toes sinking into the loamy soil of Pando. He slowed his breathing as much as he could, thinking of various forms of soaps and showerheads (something which made him feel faint). The mycellium network soon wrapped itself around his foot fungus, linking him up to the great roots of Pando. Here, the many lessons of narcotics manufacturing and distrubution, as well as rackateering expertise, of the great tree Pando, flowed their way into the mind of Savant Nosedive, whose expertise on these matters suddenly ballooned with thousands of years of knowledge.