Thumb Council

The Thumb Council was a vile and wretched pseudocult which existed in the slums of Jovia.

Initiation

The Thumb Council had a vile and wretched initiation ceremony, which consisted of several steps.

Step 1: Paperwork

The first step before someone could join the ranks of the Thumb Council was for the applicant to fill out roughly seven hundred pages of paperwork. The paperwork was completed on ultra-thin graphene paper. This paperwork was necessary for unknown reasons, and included forms requiring social security numbers, bank account details, and in-depth penis analyses.

Step 2: Heinous Ritual

The next step was known as the Heinous Ritual. In the late hours of Dorsday night, when Europa shone brightly through the clouds of Jupiter, the members of the Thumb Council would gather in the Thumb Building. This gathering was grand. The council applicant would be strapped on a table and gagged. The applicant's eyes would be sewn shut, and the legs as well as one arm were severed off using the aforementioned paperwork. Next, a vile and wretched Greenspill-powered laceration appliance was utilized to cut open the skull (or similar appendage) and remove the brain.

Step 3: Brain Form

The brain was then grabbed by the members of the Thumb Council and kneaded around like pizza dough. Once it had almost been kneaded to a pulp, the brain was quickly emptied into a latex glove. It was taken to the Thumb Building Cooler.

The motionless, brainless corpse strapped to the table would be relieved of its final appendage, only this time, the hand was carefully severed and placed in a premium plastic bag. The hand was also delivered to the Thumb Building Cooler.

Step 4: The Terrible Tom Thumb

Senior Thumb Counselor Tom Thumb, having acquired the brain juice and hand, would empty a hole in the wrist area and simply dump the brain juice into the hole. An electric shock was applied to the brain-filled hand and a new member of the Thumb Council was born.