Papa John's Day of Reckoning
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Papa John's Day of Reckoning was the 1 BB Final Day of Pizzas and the end of pizza restaurants as we knew it.
Revenge
edit edit sourcePapa John Schnatter was an American entrepreneur who founded the pizza chain 'Papa John's' in the midst of the Great META War. Beginning operations in 36 BB, the restaraunt became a highly lucrative business and quickly expanded out of Papa John's hometown of Jeffersonville, Indiana. Papa John was known to give free pizzas out to MTO soldiers, both healthy and injured, and was heavily involved in the war as a lead supplier of rations. He was awarded a Brandonian Medal of Extraordinary Valor in 8 BB.
Investment Party
edit edit sourcePapa John's restaurant eventually expanded out of the United States, and Papa John, becoming increasingly frustrated with cooking thousands of pizzas a day on his own, decided to look for possible investment partners to expand his chain outside of the United States, and possibly, eventually, offworld.
Papa John held a small gathering of the world's richest people in 3 BB, with guests including Elon Tusk, Geoffrey Eckstein, James Fargo, and, mysteriously, G-Man (Timefracture Alpha). The guests were each presented with a platter of four different pizzas; one pepperoni, one cheese, one sausage, and one olives. Papa John announced that anyone able to eat the entirety of their four pizzas in the next thirty minutes would instantly gain a 40% share in his multibillion dollar company. Papa John began the countdown, and the power-hungry elites immediately began chowing down on their pizzas. G-Man Alpha left after seven minutes, shrieking and cussing about the 'inhumanity' of eating olives that were 'still thinking'. So there were now only three individuals left at the table-- and they were getting rather full. Elon Tusk bowed out after twenty minutes, puking his insides all over the floor. He fist bumped Papa John, admitting that the dinner was 'le epic troll'. Now, the good friends James and Geoffrey remained, and one of them would soon become the partner of Papa John's Day of Reckoning.
Except they both finished all four pizzas. Now, Papa John looked down at the investment contract and noticed a fatal error- it was promised anyone who ate all 4 pizzas would become a 40% shareholder. Both billionaires had eaten all of the pizza, so, technically, they each now owned 40% of Papa John's. Papa John, in anguish, shrieked out into the night, "I am a minority stakeholder!". Geoffrey and James laughed at him, and quickly left the dining room, chucking with full bellies and soon-to-be-full wallets.
Well, this infuriated Papa John. He watched with hatred in his heart as the two gluttonous benefactors returned to their sportscars. He pulled out his cell and made a call. "Yes, hello." Papa John spoke menacingly into the cellphone, "I have a job for you."
Geoffroniums
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Papa John began assembling an elite mercenary group, which he referred to 'Al Pizza'. Papa John instructed the mercenaries to gather as much dirt as possible on Geoffrey and James. Papa John grew more and more spiteful with each passing day, as Geoffrey and James transformed Papa John's into a DLC marketplace and loot-box operation. He became disgusted with their disdain for pizza; so, he decided, it was time to end it. End Pizza, end Geoffrey, and end James. Permanently.
One day on the job, in a Briggands, Massachussetts branch of Papa John's Pizza, Papa John was fired from his own company. Geoffrey Eckstein personally let him go citing 'irrevocable differences'. Papa John immediately punched Geoffrey in the face and turned, stampeding out of the room; but not before hearing the words, 'J.F. Sweets and Papa John's Merger'. Controlling his hellish rage, Papa John rushed back to his car and dialed the Al Pizza mercenaries. "It's time. The day of Reckoning has come." He snapped the phone in halfand let out a sigh of relief.
Papa John reached under his driver seat and procured a katana. He cloaked himself in the Wreckblight Wrobes and advanced on the Papa John's Pizza Parlor, now flanked by the Al Pizza Mercenaries.
Geoffrey looked up from his office computer to see ten cloaked men, led by Papa John, standing in the doorway. "Nobody Outpizzas the John.", Papa John exclaimed, brandishing the katana at Geoffrey's throat. The cloaked men then began speaking to Geoff a list of his own crimes, including [REDACTED] with [REDACTED], having [REDACTED], drinking [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], and worst of all, [REDACTED]. This was grand, as Papa John procured yet another cell phone and dialed the FBI. Within the hour, Geoffrey was taken into custody and shipped off to San Bernadino Detention Facility. Papa John was declared a hero. James Fargo (although, somewhat begrudgingly) handed all of Geoff's stock back to Papa John, making him the majority shareholder in the company once again. The J.F. Sweets Merger was halted and James Fargo eventually sold all of his Papa John's stock off to the government. Thus, Papa John's became the official supplier of food for the Waifurian Empire, although Papa John would never produce another pizza in his life. He turned to calzones and hoagies for his produce, and engineered a state-of-the-art calzone tree which grew in temperate North American climates.
Loose Ends
edit edit sourceBut Al Pizza wasn't done yet. One dark and stormy night, when Geoffrey was crying himself to sleep in his cell, he was interrupted with a knock at the door. "Pizza time." a low voice growled.
Geoffrey's death was ruled a suicide, and Papa John's tears of laughter echoed throughout his mansion that night. The Day of Reckoning had come. Twice.