Polar Express

The Polar Express was a holiday-themed jubilant train line which ran around the Greenland, the Canada, the Russia, the North pole; the Alaska. It was a favorite among children, despite the violent and graphic designs upon its bosom. The train was commissioned in honor of St. Nick by an anonymous person. Each holiday sesan, the train would run, stopping at various times to gather children. (Parents were required to pay a $400,000 USD premium to ride, and were placed in the Cattle Cart). The children were then outfitted in elven outfits and instructed to man the artillery atop the train. This artillery was used to shoot down Naughty Listers, including those within helicopters, airplanes, skydiving equipment, or Naughty birds and bats. After each successful kill, the involved children would be awarded a gift. This practice was subsidized by the Waifurian Empire, which encouraged the instillation of violence as soon as possible within its perma-yoked offspring. In 32,124 AB, the Polar Express ran through a red light at a busy intersection in northern Siberia and collided with the Gravy Train, destroying the Gravy train. This caused monumental spillage of Gravy and holiday eats across the road, which derailed the wheels of the Polar Express. The Polar Express was thusly outfitted with the wheel from the sundered Gravy Train's corpse; these wheels were outfitted and polished to fit the Polar Express's grandiose frame. This alteration improved the speed of the Polar Express, and grease from the Gravy was used to keep the wheels and axels turning slickly.