Dark MAGA

ADAKAMKA!!!

DARK!

Dark MAGA

Dark MAGA was a cannibalistic cult of supporters of The Great MAGA King, and later an undead revolutionary army. They were avid followers of G-Anon, but were far more extreme than the average G-Anon supporter. Dark MAGA believers called themselves 'patriots', and frequently had large orgies in the name of the MAGA King.

Inception

Dark MAGA is thought to have originated as a fringe sect of Pangean cultists, who worshipped the Great MAGA King. They built golden statues of him, covered themselves in tattoos of his face, and performed Force rituals in his honor.

Lights Off

In 5 B.B, During the Great MAGA King's presidential campaign, he uttered the phrase, "turn those lights off, turn them off!" This phrase was hijacked by Dark MAGA cultists and became the unofficial motto of Dark MAGA. When the MAGA King dissapeared after the Glue Factory Incident, Dark MAGA began using the slogan 'Democracy Dies in Darkness' as a sinister threat to the United States Government (they believed Joe Biden had murdered the MAGA King). They were partially correct.

Human Sacrifice

Dark MAGA associates held an annual festival at the ruins of the United States Capitol Building, (destroyed in the Capitol Riot) each January 6th. On this very special day, Dark MAGA cultists would all be required to fill out a ballot form denoting which of their fellow Dark MAGA members they thought was a 'Crooked'. Whoever received the most votes would be named that year's 'Crooked' Effigy and slowly skinned and eaten alive on the crumbling Capitol steps. The corpse would be draped in the American flag and shot out of a cannon into the Atlantic Ocean.

Dark MAGA Mindspell

In 10 A.B, Joe Biden became angry with an aide and complained that the Great MAGA King was "being too loud in [his] tummy". The Aide rushed the newly-crowned Emperor to a hospital. Biden reportedly experienced several strokes after this. He entered a catatonic state where his eyes glazed over with inky black residue and his mouth began emitting supersonic frequencies.

Biden began emitting a low, gutteral scream, and a humanoid figure began emerging from his Glue Form torso. It was the spirit of the MAGA King, still alive within the confines of the Mummy. The MAGA King reportedly sent out a psychic Force Mindspell to his supporters and Dark MAGA, with one simple message- "Covfefe". Only true Dark MAGA patriots knew the meaning of this phrase, and the translation was unfortunately lost forever due to... well, I'm really not at liberty to say.

Dark MAGA Apocalypse

Every Dark MAGA cultist immediately froze in place and exhibited the same black glossy eyes and pained expression as Joe Biden. Dark MAGA cultists of years pasts rose from the dead, and began advancing on the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid. Hordes of these undead Dark MAGA cultists, kept alive with accursed Pangean spells of olde, began tearing through the Waifurian Imperial guard. Among them were undead humans, undead giants, and an unnamed deceased ancestor of President Floordeck, which towered above the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid at nearly 2 kilometers tall.

A massive, several months-long conflict ensued. Thousands of Waifurian troops lost their lives defending the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid. Biden remained in a lifeless, disfigured state during this time, with the MAGA King's Glue Form slowly becoming more and more defined in the amorphous flesh of the Mummy.

Summoning of the Grand Nihilanth

Dark MAGA cultists, both alive and undead, stormed the Bass Pro Shop Pyramid, performing daily human sacrifices of Waifurian Guards and waving banners and machine weaponry. They entered the premises and began spilling gallons of blood on the foyer floor. They drew a massive G (thought to have represented G-Anon) out of this blood and began chanting "Rise and Shine" in the middle of the room. G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) appeared (seemingly from nowhere) and walked to the center of the bloodied lobby floor, and held his arms in the air. The Dark MAGA cultists followed suit, and looked to the sky. The dark residue on their eyes transformed into brilliant beams of light, which shot together near the ceiling of the room and formed a Resonance Cascade. Out of this massive dimensional rift came the Grand Nihilanth. It began attacking the Dark MAGA cult members with energy balls, imbuing each one with Xen energy and by extension, eternal life.

The Grand Nihilanth then grabbed each of the Dark MAGA cultists in its many arms and ascended through the dimensional rift. The cultists screamed in protest and abject terror, looking upwards into the fiery void from which the beast had descended. G-Man (Timefracture Alpha) stood alone in the blood-splattered Pyramid lobby, and watched the last of Dark MAGA disappear through the portal. According to security camera footage, he muttered a single word to himself after this, and walked off with a satisfied look on his face.

Frankenstein's Mummy

After the Grand Nihilanth was summoned, Joe Biden's body was put back together as one. The Great MAGA King's power had been contained by the feeble mind of the rambling sycophant. Biden was haphazardly reassembled on the operating table and wrapped head to toe in bandages, heavily resembling an ancient Egyptian mummy. Ironic.